Rating 4.5 stars out of 5

This was sex—it was primal sweaty and glorious. So much of John’s life he’d spent cooped up, dressing like his mom needed him to, being good so his dad didn’t smack him because God forbid the cop’s kid get in trouble. But you weren’t pretty in sex, you just were: you were lightning and thunder and detonations and fireworks. And those things weren’t pretty, but they sure were worth being.

Life has never been all sunshine and rainbows for John Carey. He grew up with an abusive father who became a cop just to be able to exert his force and get away with it. Then he fell in love with someone who didn’t have the capacity to love him back, and it took a huge piece of him. After being disowned by his family and wrecked by his lovers addiction, even a move across the country couldn’t keep his demons at bay. Now, fresh out of rehab, he has to go back to a place he once called home and clean up the mess that his one-time lover made.

There he meets Galen Henderson, the kind of man a recovering addict needs to avoid at all costs. After a horrible accident that took everything from Galen, he’s become dependent on pain medication – medication that’s all too easily accessible for John.

But despite himself, he can’t stay away. But now he’s got something else to consider. Can he clean up a mess, his own heart, and Galen too? Or is that maybe just too much?

Nobody had it all together. John had hated himself for not being enough for Tory, but he’d missed the point. The point was nobody was enough all the time. That was what being partners was about. One person got to spaz the fuck out, and the other person got to hold the other guy’s hand, and then they switched places.

From the beginning of the series, I have loved Johnnies and all the great, dynamic characters Amy Lane brings to the table. I wasn’t expecting to get a story on John, but he was painted in such a way that left Amy with a lot of room to let him grow and blossom. She did that, but not the easy way. First, she let him wither and decay, and then she put him back together, piece by piece.

This story had a personal undertone for me. As someone who has dealt with the addiction of a loved one, and also the ruin left by that addiction, it gave me a different perspective, one that evoked some strong emotions out of me. I struggled so much because John loved Tory so much. He was a saint to John – could do no wrong, but every time I took a step back and looked at exactly what Tory did, I was left angry and sad. You see, addicts aren’t all the same. Some use and self destruct, but others use, self destruct, and then try to pull everyone down with them. The latter was Tory. If he was going down, and he was, he wanted to make sure every person who ever loved him fell right along with him. That made me angry. Seeing what he did to John, even when John couldn’t see it, was just so difficult.

“You weren’t… weren’t… mechanical, I guess is the word, when we were together.”John smiled at him, feeling wise for maybe the first time in forever. “No. It was lovely. And I don’t know. It’s… it’s the difference between painting rain and standing in it, I guess. When you paint it, you’re breaking it down to color, composition, emotional impact. But when you’re standing in it, it’s all about…”

“Dancing in the rain,” Galen said, dropping his voice intimately.

“Yeah. Dancing in the rain.”

So the story really isn’t simply about John falling in love with Galen or vice versa. It’s much more than that. We have that, yes, but we also have a lot of recovery that goes on through the pages. John needs to find himself again, or maybe even for the first time. In a world where he’s become so dependent on drugs to be his crutch, he needs to struggle along without those things.

One problem I had at the beginning was that I didn’t feel the actual love connection between the two. Yes, I felt attraction, but one minute it was recognizing that attraction and the next it was them wanting something real. I felt like I missed an important piece. The rest of the story helped to fill in that gap, but I’m still a bit confused about if I maybe somehow looked over a page or misread a paragraph wherein this progression happened.

Still, I grew to really enjoy their relationship. At times they were so toxic to each other, but then there was something else there too. It was as if they were both clinging onto each other for safety, both trying not to drown. It was anything but the advice you get on a plane – put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. These two had no masks. That was probably part of what made it so appealing, was the very real struggle and the complete unreasonableness of being human. Our choices are often flawed, made without full consideration of all the factors that go into an equation. That is displayed here, over and over again.

They worked hard for their happy ending, and part of me feels that the ending just wasn’t enough. I wanted a bit more – a true epilogue, if you will. I wanted to feel that their hard work had amounted to something more than just one moment.

Black John is a really lovely book, filled with all of our favorite characters and some new ones too. It’s a great addition to the series, but it also left me hoping for additional stories. I’d love to see Brant and Zion’s story, as well as Reg and Bobby’s. So what do you say, Ms. Lane? I’m up for it if you are!

The cover art by Reese Dante is nice and simple. It fits well with the previous covers, forming a cohesive framework for the series. I would say though that it doesn’t really feel special. Yes, the guy in front has red hair, but beyond that, it doesn’t feel unique to the story. The guy in the back, who I’m thinking may be Galen, has no scars – scars that are important to his life story. It’s nice, but not special.

Sales Links:   Dreamspinner Press eBook & Paperback    All Romance (ARe)  Amazon   Buy it here (other links coming)

Book Details:

ebook, 280 pages
Expected publication: January 26th 2015 by Dreamspinner Press
original titleBlack John
ISBN139781632165534
edition languageEnglish
urlhttp://www.greenshill.com/
series Johnnies #4

The Johnnies series include:

• Super Sock Man (Granby Knitting, #2)
• Chase in Shadow (Johnnies, #1)
• Dex in Blue (Johnnies, #2)
• Ethan in Gold (Johnnies, #3)
• Black John (Johnnies, #4)