Category: Contemporary fiction

A Lucy Review: Begging Ben (Love Letters #2) by Anyta Sunday

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

This is the second in the Love Letters series and picks up with Landon, the twin of River from book one.   In the first book we get a glimpse of Landon and his incredible unrequited pining for Chance, a basketball player he had a weeklong affair with and who then tossed Landon away.  Landon has spent his time moping, mourning, watching and attending Chance’s basketball games in an effort to win him back.  This has left his best friend and YouTube partner, Ben, out in the cold and unable to help him.  The book begins at a party in Las Vegas where we find out these two are no longer best friends.  Landon had messed up, big time, and Ben walked away.  Landon knows he is the cause.  “Ben had been right to distance himself from Landon.  Who wanted a best friend so infatuated with someone that they forgot who mattered?”   He wants his best friend back, though, the man who is nearly as close as his twin.  The problem is, Ben loves Landon and it’s putting him hell being near someone who doesn’t seem to care at all.

While Ben tries to avoid Landon at the party, Landon catches up with him and after much drinking they end up in that Las Vegas destination many have come to regret, the wedding chapel.  Where yes, they get married.  A little thing that Ben doesn’t remember but Landon does.  It was Landon’s idea and his whole reasoning about it was so honestly so stupid I wanted to smack him. “At the time it made brilliant sense; Ben could be actual family.  Marriage had been his drunken attempt to keep Ben from leaving his life again.”  Except Ben doesn’t know they are married and Landon wants him to stay as his friend, his brother; not as a husband.  Ben’s cousin, Chris, was a witness to the wedding but he gets some mind altering news while there and so he doesn’t mention it.

Ben says he is “Not in the right place to be friends yet” but Landon really doesn’t respect his wish for space.  Despite the fact that he wants his best friend back, he interferes with someone Ben is interested in and never tells Ben they got married.  Ben finds out from his mom, who accidentally saw a picture on Chris’ phone.  It’s a mess.  Ben’s mom loves Landon nearly as much as her son and they don’t want to disappoint her with a lie, so they agree to spend the week with her pretending to be real husbands and then fight and break up. Except Landon doesn’t follow the script.

They have a science YouTube channel with two million followers, Ben works at Silver Pines bookstore and they both have money to spare, but not having Ben in his life is killing Landon.  There were times I was so aggravated with Landon because of his actions.  He is so oblivious to what is right there.  And Ben is sometimes heartbreaking.  When Landon asks him what he really wants in a marriage, “I want to be his first choice.  Not a backup when the guy he really wants doesn’t want him back.”

There is back and forth with Landon trying to get his head out of his butt and figure things out while Ben tries to keep his heart safe. 

Secondary characters include Ash and River from book one and we also get Chris, now a new father and trying to cope with everything with the help of Ben’s mom and the guys. I loved Chris a lot.  There is Gabe, the barista Ben thought he might want to date, who is laid back and cool and hopefully gets a story as well.

Cover art follows the lines of Admiring Ash and is a single man set against a simple colored background.  I’m not sure if it is supposed to be Ben or Landon.

Sales Links:  Amazon

Book Details:

Kindle Edition, 177 pages
Published July 29th 2018 by Anyta Sunday
ASINB07G15B723
Edition LanguageEnglish
SeriesLove Letters :- add to your GR here

An Alisa Review: Finding My Way Home (Doyle Global Securities #2 ) by Kendel Duncan

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

“Have you ever been so lost that you couldn’t remember what home looked like, what it felt like?

So lost that home was a distant memory – a place that you never had hope of finding it again?

That’s how I felt, how I’d felt for years, for longer than I could remember.

Until I found you, Bas.

I just wish I could tell you that….

I’m coming. I’m coming for you, Bas. And I’m going to do my best to try….for you.”

~Ten

For longer than he could remember Tenley ‘Ten’ Pinkerton had been lost. Wandering this earth with no hope, no soul, no heart, no purpose. The day the love of his life, Sawyer, had been brutally murdered was the day that everything beyond the basic elements of survival – like breathing and a beating heart – had been shut down.

Until him.

Sebastian ‘Bas’ Monroe

Fucking Bas Monroe

Somehow the man had wormed his way past Ten’s defenses, past the armor plates surrounding his heart, past the pain. Somehow he’d gotten inside.

Ten wasn’t really sure how he felt about that.

But the day that Bas went missing?

Ten knew that he would die if he that’s what it came to in order to find Bas, in order to save him.

The question that remained:

Was he going to be saving Bas Monroe? Or was he going to be saving himself?

This was another great story to continue this series.  The tension from Ten and Bas from the previous book in worked out while we get to meet another group of men, Liam, Trent and Aleksy, and get to see them maneuver a new relationship.  I also loved more of a look into Morgan’s background and can’t wait to read the next book when it comes out.

Bas being kidnapped helps to have Ten push away his doubts and fears.  They both had to get over their past hurt, Bas from Ten’s actions and Ten from Sawyer’s death, but come out on top.  I got to see their fears but also their hopes as they navigated a new relationship.  I am not a huge fan of jumping between couples but these two were the main focus so it was easier to connect with them especially with them being in the last book.

When Trent is helping to rescue Bas he feels an inexplicable pull towards Liam and Aleksy.  I loved seeing the connections these guys had and how much they cared for Liam’s daughter, but I’ve got to say for a 9 year old she acted and sounded much younger than I would expect.  We don’t see as much of these guys actually building their relationship, mostly just some points in between but I really loved seeing Liam get a second chance after everything that happened and for Liam and Trent to find the happiness they have wanted.

The cover art by Dara Nelson is nice and gives a small picture of Ten and Bas but follows the style of the last book too.

Sales Links: Amazon

Book Details:

ebook, 230 pages

Published: July 25, 2018 by Dare Press

Edition Language: English

Series: Doyle Global Securities #2

An Alisa Review: Blackbird Fly Home (Doyle Global Securities #1) by Kendel Duncan

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

 

Sometimes life will surprise you

Sometimes it will disappoint you

Sometimes it will kick you in the balls

Sometimes it will make you so happy you feel like you can fly

And sometimes, just sometimes, it will do all of those things.

The kick in the balls, both literally and figuratively, happened to Noah Pierce a long time ago. Ten years to be exact, when, to cap off a brutal and horrendous four-year relationship with the man who claimed to love him, that man buried a butcher knife in his side. It was the final wound in a seemingly endless cycle of bruises, cuts, breaks, sprains and other things that sent him to the hospital. He thought he was going to die. But when he opened his eyes in that ER room and saw a stranger with kind yet determined eyes looking back at him and with his boyfriend nowhere in sight, Noah knew that life was going to change for him. And it did.

For ten years he was stronger, he was better, he was……hollow.

He didn’t realize that last part until he saw one man. One pair of haunting blue eyes beside the very man who had ruined Noah all those years ago. One pair of frightened eyes. One pair of hollow, hopeless eyes that Noah couldn’t have walked away from if he tried…..because someone else hadn’t walked away from him all those years ago.

Noah didn’t realize it at the time, but by saving Jesse Miller from the clutches of his ex, he was going to learn to fly…..

Trigger warning: This book contains mentions of past sexual abuse.

This was a story with two men who help save each other.  Noah has basically been surviving since escaping his abusive ex ten years ago but helping Jesse escape the same man gives him a chance to really start living.  Jesse has a different but still abusive experience with the man but he clings to the man he knows will understand and help him heal.

Morgan helped Noah escape and also gave him a job and something to focus his life.  He stands beside Jesse and Noah to stand up to their abuser but also to not allow them to push either away. Jesse is finally able to grow into the man he was meant to be.

I liked both of these characters and while they were both damaged in different ways they find way to help each other.  I could feel Noah’s fear that he couldn’t be the good man that Jesse needed but I loved watching Jesse and their friends help him through his doubt.  Jesse is so much stronger than he thinks and many of his action prove that but with the support of Noah he feels that he can succeed and get over what he has gone through.  I loved all the characters in the book and look forward to reading more about them.  I may even go and read some of Kendel’s other series too.

The cover art by Dara Nelson is nice and has a nice picture of the characters together and I love the connection to Noah’s tattoo.

Sales Links: Amazon

Book Details:

ebook, 347 pages

Published: September 18, 2017 by Dare Press

Edition Language: English

Series: Doyle Global Securities #1

Blog Tour – Finding My Way Home (Doyle Global Securities #2) by Kendel Duncan (excerpt)

BLOG TOUR

Book Title: Finding My Way Home – Doyle Global Securities #2

Author:  Kendel Duncan 

Publisher: Dare Publishing & Design

Cover Artist:  Dara Nelson & Dan Skinner

Release Date: July 25, 2018

Genre/s:  Gay Romance, MM

Length: 53 000 words/230 pages

It is the second book in the series but can be read as a standalone.

Add on Goodreads    

Buy Links – Available on Kindle Unlimited

Amazon US   

Amazon UK 

Blurb

“Have you ever been so lost that you couldn’t remember what home looked like, what it felt like?

So lost that home was a distant memory – a place that you never had hope of finding it again?

That’s how I felt, how I’d felt for years, for longer than I could remember.

Until I found you, Bas.

I just wish I could tell you that….

I’m coming.  I’m coming for you, Bas.  And I’m going to do my best to try….for you.”

~Ten

                                                                                                                                                

For longer than he could remember Tenley ‘Ten’ Pinkerton had been lost.  Wandering this earth with no hope, no soul, no heart, no purpose.  The day the love of his life, Sawyer, had been brutally murdered was the day that everything beyond the basic elements of survival – like breathing and a beating heart – had been shut down.

Until him.

Sebastian ‘Bas’ Monroe.

Fucking Bas Monroe.

Somehow the man had wormed his way past Ten’s defenses, past the armor plates surrounding his heart, past the pain.  Somehow he’d gotten inside.

Ten wasn’t really sure how he felt about that.

But the day that Bas went missing?

Ten knew that he would die if he that’s what it came to in order to find Bas, in order to save him.

The question that remained:

Was he going to be saving Bas Monroe?  Or was he going to be saving himself?

Excerpt

Ten followed Morgan back out to his car.  They were both completely silent for the twenty-minute drive to what looked to Ten like an abandoned warehouse complex.  But when they got closer Ten could see the tell-tale signs that this was a secret government facility: the electronic laser fencing, the high-tech motion sensors.

“I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy,” Ten said quietly.

He looked over to find Morgan smiling slightly even though every other part of his body was tense, “You would be correct scarecrow.”

As he turned into a weed covered parking lot, he slowed by what looked like a large rhododendron. As he rolled his window down, Ten mumbled, “Tin man.”

“What?” Morgan said as he looked back at Ten.

“I would be the Tin man in that scenario.  No heart, remember?”

“Oh,” Morgan said as he leaned out to move a large branch to the side revealing an electronic keypad with a fingerprint scanner below it, “You’re full of shit,” he mumbled as he punched in a code and pressed his thumb to the scanner.  There was a barely imperceptible beep, the circle around the fingerprint turned green and then Morgan let his foot off the brake.

“That’s it?” Ten said as he looked out the windows, “All it does is beep? How do you know you’ve been given clearance?”

“Because nobody is shooting at us.  And you’re still full of shit.”

“What do you mean?”

“About the shooting or the shit?” Morgan said with a smirk.

Ten rolled his eyes, “The shit, smartass.”

“You have the biggest heart of anyone I know.  You just choose to have it locked down tight.”

Morgan could pretty much hear the silent huff that Ten made as he glared at him.  “Stop trying to fix me, Morg.  It’s not possible.”

“And yet here you are ready to do anything and everything to save Bas.”

“Because you asked me to!”

“Bullshit.  That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

Ten opened his mouth to say something else but Morgan interrupted him.  “Tamp it down, Pinkerton.  We’re here,” he said as he put his car in park and shut it off.  He turned in his seat and pinned Ten with a look that said listen very carefully, so Ten did.

“Don’t do or say anything in there unless I tell you to.  Stay with me.  Don’t touch anything, don’t, just don’t….”

“Don’t what?”

“Just fucking behave, okay?”

Ten smirked, “Yes, Dad.  Can we go into the secret clubhouse now?”

“This is not a fucking joke, Ten.  Anyone in this building could kill you between heartbeats and there wouldn’t be a damn thing that I could do to stop it.  Do you hear me?”

Ten dipped his chin, the smirk long-gone from his face, “Yeah, Morg, I get it.”

“Okay, good.”

They both climbed out of the car and Ten frowned when Morgan didn’t lock it, “You’re not locking it?”

“They’re going to search it while we’re inside and when we leave so there’s really no point.”

“They can break into your car that easily?”

Morgan shook his head, “These people can do anything they fucking want to, Ten.  How can I convince you of that?”

“Okay, Morg, okay. I get it.  I promise, I get it,” Ten said as he walked over to Morgan and touched his tense shoulder.

Morgan took a deep breath and sighed it out, “I hope so, Ten.  I really hope so,” he said and then together they began walking to the front door.

About the Author

I was born and raised in the Bay Area of Northern California but have made my home in the Pacific Northwest for the last two decades.  My husband & I live on a small farm surrounded by chickens, goats, rabbits, a turkey, 5 dogs and a cat, in the shadow of stunning Mt Rainier.

With my grown children and grandchildren nearby, my life is always busy, happy and full of laughter.

I am an active Blogger, having created Love Unchained Book Reviews out of my love for all things MM books.

Owner of Dare Press – Offering quality, affordable services for indie authors, including:

Editing, Publishing, Book Cover Design

NY Literary Magazine Best Story Award 2017 Nominee

When I’m not on the phone with my best friend (which is at least once every day) – I am an avid, addicted reader.  It is my passion, my escape, my joy.
And I am most definitely a writer. The characters in my head are constantly demanding that their story be told.
But above all that – I am a human being. My passion for people is unparalleled, my firm belief in Love is Love unwavering, my hope that all can be accepted, undying. I do not write because I want to, I do it because I have to.  I write because these voices, these beautiful men, have chosen me to tell their stories – and how damn lucky am I for that?

As an author, I write under both my name and a pen name, with total transparency and honesty:


Dara Nelson 

Author of the wildly popular ‘Healing Hearts’ series (Love in the Aftermath, Love After Chaos, Love Worth Fighting For – and more to come soon)

“5 stars 5 stars  Amazing!!”

“Highly recommended”

“This is not your average romance story. It is so much more. A book that touched my heart.”

“OMG!!! This was probably one of the best books I’ve ever read.”

“This is the first time I’ve read anything from Dara Nelson, but it won’t be the last. I need more of her writing!”

Under the pen name Kendel Duncan:                                                                                         

Author of the popular & critically acclaimed ‘Black Ops Heroes’ series and the new top-selling ‘Doyle Global Securities’ series

“I can’t recommend Kendel Duncan or Black Ops Heroes ENOUGH!!!! OMG, everyone who likes strong vulnerable men will love these stories!!!”

“I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK AND THIS AMAZING SERIES!!!!!”

“I love how you keep the story going and keep all the characters interesting. Can’t wait for the next book!”

“The emotions are so raw and just I don’t have the right words to express how amazing the books are. You have to read them to understand. I can’t wait for the next installment!!”

Social Media Links

Blog/Website

Facebook

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A Barb the Zany Old Lady Review: Romeo for Real (Romeo & Julian) by Markus Harwood-Jones

Rating: 3 stars out of 5

I’m glad I read Just Julian before this story or I may have been completely lost. Although the couple is the same and the events are the same, this story is told from Romeo’s perspective and it’s completely different from Julian’s. And yet, the two stories together complement each other. Unfortunately, the author does not indicate which book should be read first, and in reality, he probably should have simply combined both POV’s and created one book.

I liked this story, in large part, I believe, because I knew what was going to happen already. I also like Romeo’s character more—at least I liked much of his character and perspective in this book, though I didn’t care for his early participation in gay bashing. I did, however, understand the peer pressure that led to it.

I think even Julian’s mother was easier to understand when viewed from Rome’s POV. His own parents were barely mentioned in Julian’s book and were perfect examples of unlikeable persons in this one. The vice principal, Mrs. Duke, was quite nasty to him in this story, and yet was a friend of Julian’s mother and an advocate for LBGTQ rights in that book, in which she also had a larger role.

The friend base was a bit different and interactions among their friends included more on those secondary characters in this story. But like the other book, I found it odd that there was so much diversity in that high school—especially given the homophobic bullying and the parents’ attitudes.

All in all, I would recommend that if someone wants to read this, they should read Just Julian first as I believe the perspective is in better balance reading that before this one. But neither book is one I’d highly recommend to my friends in general. But those who enjoy YA stories might like this look at a little slice of life in this small town.

Cover art by Shabnam Safari using a Shutterstock image features a head shot of a beautiful young man with a perplexed or confused look on his face. The look is fitting for the character, but the man is not how I would have pictured Romeo.

Sales Link:  Amazon

Book Details:

Kindle Edition, 168 pages
Published April 1st 2018 by Formac Lorimer (first published February 1st 2018)
ASINB079K58SK3
Series Romeo & Julian

Just Julian

Romeo for Real

A Barb the Zany Old Lady Review: Just Julian (Romeo & Julian) by Markus Harwood-Jones

Rating 2.5 stars out of 5

In a nutshell, I thought this story had lots of potential that was not quite achieved. And to be honest, the number of LGBTQ+ characters for one small town seemed way out of proportion to the general population.

Perhaps because the underlying theme is YA and I don’t read many books featuring teens, or perhaps because of the very obvious play on the Romeo and Juliet theme, or perhaps the author’s writing style or his desire to pack every diverse LGBTQ character known to mankind into one short story, somehow it didn’t ring true to reality. It was okay, and I liked many parts of it, but it was a bit overdone in some of the dramatics and characterizations.

Julian Capulet is nineteen, but hasn’t finished school yet. He’s taking online courses because the bullying and physical abuse he suffered at school became impossible for him to overcome, but there’s one course left, and he can’t focus long enough to finish. When he gets stressed or depressed, he retreats to his room and paints. Well, it appears he paints—he throws paints on canvas in dramatic brush strokes. His mother seems to have a part time job and is an advocate—an OTT advocate—for LGBTQ rights. His friends are all apparently somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum: gay, bi, lesbian, trans, nonbinary, asexual, demisexual, and more. Given that so many teens in this story identify as non-heterosexual, the focus in the latter part of the story on the need to increase awareness of LBGTQ teens in the schools and stop homophobic bullying seems superfluous.

When Julian meets Romeo (yes, Romeo!) at a party and their attraction seems mutual, he’s at first distrusting since Romeo has been with the group of boys who’ve bullied him. But Romeo claims he’s different, and he and Julian become a couple. Julian’s mother very liberally lets Romeo stay overnight. Later in the story when we meet Romeo’s mother (Mrs. Montague) it’s evident that she’s not happy with the relationship.

Of course, there’s no smooth sailing for either young man because just when they think they are free to be themselves, Romeo’s former buddies show up and attack the couple (see blurb for more detail). As the story ends, the two have decided to fight for their rights by participating in a school rally organized by Julian’s mother (of course) and the mother of Julian’s trans friend. I suspect their relationship-building will continue in the next story as this ends on a HFN.

Cover art by Shabnam Safari using a Shutterstock image is a photo of a young man with auburn hair and oriental features. It clearly represents the main character, Julian, and with the cloudy sky background, it’s attention-getting.

Sales Link:  Amazon

Book Details:

ebook, 168 pages
Published February 1st 2018 by Lorimer
ISBN 1459412931 (ISBN13: 9781459412934)
SeriesRomeo & Julian

A Lucy Review: Admiring Ash (Love Letters #1) by Anyta Sunday

Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5

Ash Heartford’s parents have not been the greatest role models.  Since he never knew his father and his mother had a bad habit of falling in obsessive love that pushed her men away, he’s been sort of on his own.  That was okay until four years ago when his half-sister, Danielle, turned up on his doorstep on the wrong side of Greenvile. Mom had died and Dani had nowhere to go.  Ash stepped up, put his life on hold so he could take care of Dani and make sure her future was settled.  The fact that Ash is crushing those pennies is beside the point.  “He was sick of struggling financially.  No matter how hard he worked scrubbing toilets, he was constantly failing Danielle.”  Of course, he isn’t failing her at all and he has sacrificed everything for her but he doesn’t see that.  He has his cat, Chucky, for company and that’s all he needs as he tries to survive his jobs (yes, multiple) cleaning for other people.

So it is with some trepidation that he receives a letter delivered by the beautiful River.  A letter that lets him know he did have family in a grandfather, Lester, who has now unfortunately passed away.  He is bequeathing his historic home and book store to Ash, a continuation of a family legacy.  Since River was like a grandson to Lester, he has been asked to help Ash out with anything he needs.  Everything, that is, except getting involved with him.  Ash, according to Lester, is off limits.

Silver Pines is a lovely place and there are some suits from a corporation willing to pay big money for it.  River desperately wants Ash to keep it, keep Lester’s legacy, but it’s very difficult when you are literally scratching for pennies to turn down two hundred grand.  River has a week to convince Ash the more modest living he will get from Silver Pines is worth it.  River is from the rich side of town and has never really understood what it’s like to scrounge. “River had never hated being wealthy.  Until now, as Ash dropped on all fours in the obscenely large second kitchen to scrub…”

So River begins to show Ash what the legacy means.  Who Lester was.  The letters, exchanged by River and Lester through a mailbox inside Silver Pines, were so sweet.  The last one especially, that Lester never got to read.  How to run Silver Pines and care for it.  He shares stories with Ash and they begin to be friends, and maybe more.  But Ash keeps it cool because he always remembers that everything River is doing for him, he’s doing because of Lester.  River, who never does relationships and keeps it at one-night stands, begins to understand why Lester declared Ash off limits.

Of course, there is the moment that River has his epiphany that causes problems.  Not the classic misunderstanding, per se, but something like that.  Can they come back from it?  Can they even make this work, the rich guy and the poor guy?

Secondary characters here are interesting.  Dani is not a spoiled girl and she appreciates all that Ash does for her.  When Ash realizes his 16-year-old sister is having sex, the mild attack he has was funny, if bittersweet. Because the Heartfords drive their men off, he’s very afraid that either he or Dani will fall into that same trap.  “He’d made it a point to avoid engaging with me.  Men and Heartfords didn’t stick.  Men were only ever points of obsession.”  There is River’s twin brother, Landon, a sweet man who had a week-long fling with a straight (very closeted?) basketball player and is now spending his time in constant pain of unrequited love.  Their great friend, Ben, knows that that’s like (and I know where I want the next book, Begging Ben, to go).  “I don’t chase after guys who will never return my feelings.”  Ahh, Ben.

This was a good start to a new series.  There are supposed to be 26 Love Letters, working through the alphabet, so I’m curious to see how that works.  I am a fan of Anyta Sunday and I am looking forward to this series continuing.

Cover art by Natasha Snow is simple, colored background with Ash pictured.

Sales Links:  Amazon

Book Details:

Kindle Edition, 176 pages
Published July 29th 2018
Original Title Admiring Ash
ASINB07G18ZKDT
Edition Language English
Series Love Letters #1

New Release Blitz for Push Me Pull Me by Amanda Rhodes (excerpt and giveaway)

Title: Push Me Pull Me

Author: Amanda Rhodes

Publisher: NineStar Press

Release Date: July 30, 2018

Heat Level: 3 – Some Sex

Pairing: Female/Female

Length: 20000

Genre: Contemporary, lesbian, pansexual, BDSM

Add to Goodreads

Synopsis

At twenty-four, Mallory Grant is still struggling with adulthood. She can’t seem to make it in to work on time and deals better with her Tumblr friend on the other side of the world than a face-to-face with a real live human. But when her boss threatens to fire her as a rental agent, Mallory has to buckle down with her new client or end up jobless.

Corinne Ibori is moving to the Chicago area and needs a place to call home. Mallory’s goal is to find just the right location for Corinne’s needs and show her boss she’s turned over a new leaf. Corinne is thirty-five, self-confident, beautiful, flirty, has a French accent, and knows what she wants.

Mallory is finding it hard to believe that what Corrine wants might be her.

Excerpt

Push Me Pull Me
Amanda Rhodes © 2018
All Rights Reserved

Today has to be a new record for me. Forty-five minutes late for work and I’m sitting in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru behind a line of cars at least a half mile long. One might think I have no respect for punctuality. And they’d be right. I’ve been on a losing streak lately with my alarm clock. It tries so hard to wake me up with the beeping and the screeching.

I have to have my coffee before I meet the day head-on, though. Therefore, I wait. Might as well be productive while I sit here. I text Helena, asking her if she’s seen my Tumblr post with the new pictures of Charlize Theron. She’s cut all of her hair off, and it’s sexy as fuck. Maybe she did it for a new movie role, maybe just to torture me. It’s hard to say.

Helena replies back, “Duh, Mallory. Of course, I’ve seen it.” She immediately saved it to her hard drive for safekeeping. This is why we are friends. Unfortunately, though, she lives on the other side of the ocean so most of our conversations are in the form of emails and texts.

I don’t really do so well with live humans unless I’m getting paid to customer-service them. I’m perfectly content with the friends that live inside my computer as far as my personal life goes. Helena gets me, and I make her laugh. Works out perfectly.

A few more cars move, and I’m almost to the ordering screen. I check the clock. 9:15 a.m. Yikes. This is super late, even for me. Silently, I pray that my boss isn’t in this morning—still traveling or has tripped on her kids’ Legos and sprained her ankle.

“Mallory, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to make it in today. You’ll be able to hold down the fort without me, right?”

“Absolutely, Shelly. You can count on me. I’ve been here for hours now. Everything is going smoothly.”

“Perfect. You’re an amazing employee. I’m definitely giving you a raise and maybe even an expense account. Also, I think you should take a month-long vacation when I get back. Honk.”

HONK. HONK. HONK.

The person who’s waiting behind is obviously super pissed by my delayed response.

“Sorry!” I yell from inside my car where no one can hear me. I wave, hoping they forgive my idiotic daydreaming.

Quickly, I pull through, order my coffee and the bagel I swore to myself I wouldn’t get.

When I make it to work, I realize that my daydream was exactly that. There’s a sticky note lying on my desk from Shelly.

See me when you get in.

There’s no “Thanks!” or her name with a smiley face. She knows that I’ll be aware of exactly who wrote the note. And she knows that I’ll be aware of exactly what I need to see her about.

The sense of dread I feel at moments like this never motivates me to do the right thing (i.e. show up on time), but only serves to remind me of how much I suck at life. That nasty little voice in my head is chanting “loser alert!” over and over.

Staring at the note, I take a minute to contemplate my next move. I could fake the stomach flu, invoking her pity. Well, at least temporarily. I’ll have to face the facts at some point, and that some point might as well be now. Sucking it up, I throw my things on my desk and do the walk of shame to her office.

I could easily walk through this maze of dull gray cubicles with my eyes closed. I’ve done it so many times. The chatter of twenty different people on the phone, scheduling apartment viewings, fills the air. Ben’s giant pair of green foam Hulk hands sit atop his bookshelf. I give them a fist bump. Ben glances up from his phone call, nods, and winks. He’s the only tolerable human here.

Almost every desk has one or two framed pictures of loved ones, boyfriends, kids, husbands. A candid of a group of friends at a wedding taunts me as I walk past Tracy’s desk. She also has a Post-it note holder in the shape of a red high-heeled shoe. She thinks it’s cute, and I think it’s hideous.

Each time I have to make the trip from my desk to Shelly’s, I’m forced to think about the absence of pictures and mementos on mine. Yeah, I could frame a picture of my brother or of my childhood dog, Scrabble, but I don’t actually want anyone here to know that much about me.

Peeking around the corner, I check to see if the boss-lady is on the phone or possibly reaming some other poor soul a new asshole, in which case I can hightail it out of here. No such luck. She peers up from her desk, her face the picture of annoyance. She extends her hand, waving me in.

“Hi, Shelly! You wanted to see me?” I ask cheerily.

“Save it. Sit down. We need to talk.” Her tone isn’t angry, just fed up. Honestly, this makes me feel even worse. She used to like me. And she’s stuck her neck out for me more than once. I’ve disappointed yet another person in my life. I might need to start a spreadsheet in order to keep track.

Awkwardly, I take a seat across from her, trying to work out if I should cross my legs or leave them uncrossed. Which leg position makes a person seem less like a failure?

“Listen,” she says, sighing deeply. “I know this isn’t your dream job. Nor would I expect you to treat being a leasing agent as such. But I do expect that you show some respect for me. I don’t make office hours for shits and giggles, Mal. You had an appointment this morning with a client. She sat in the lobby waiting for you for almost an hour.”

Fuck. Me.

“Exactly.”

I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud.

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Meet the Author

Amanda Rhodes watches way too much TV and has a ridiculous amount of books on her to-be-read pile, yet she keeps buying them. She’s been writing since… well for a long time. Amanda loves the paranormal, sci-fi, and fantasy but could never ever write it herself. She’ll leave that up to the weirdos who do it best. Amanda lives in Chicago with her wife, four children, and pitbull who is a lazy bum.

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