Category: Science Fiction

Review of Josh of the Damned Triple Feature by Andrea Speed

Rating: 5 stars

Josh Caplan is not just  your average convenience store clerk.  But that’s ok because the Quik-Mart where he works the night shift? Well, it has a hell portal out back, werewolves peeing on the outside ice machine, and an endless parade of weird customers from hell. Whether it is the zombies buying frozen burritos or a love lorn yeti, Josh handles it all with a commendable nonchalance and sangfroid far beyond his years. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that his oh so hot boyfriend is a 300 year old vampire with powers out the whazoo!  Can anything upset Josh’s unflappability?  Why yes, there is.  All it takes is a visit from a voracious facial hair, an attack from an overcompensating Cthulhu, and a visit from the Hell Boss herself with a mission for Josh to make a job at Wendy’s look promising.  It’s all here.  Read it for yourself.

While it is true that I am addicted to all things Andrea Speed, Josh Caplan holds a special, albeit warped, place in my heart.  With each new customer that walks the aisles to the freezer section, Josh is ready for anything, even if it’s a few extra cents from the Take A Penny tray to help him/them/it complete their purchase.  That lovesick yeti from Peek-A-Boo (Book #2) is back and Josh calls him Professor Bobo as a nod to one of my favorites MST3K.  Great smacks into wonderfulness!  Josh has gotten fond of him and who wouldn’t?  Then there is Colin, his vampire boyfriend who is fond of sweets, Bailey’s Irish Creme and  rock n roll.  He’s handy to have around when the  hell customers get frisky or the human customers pose a threat.  Yep, you read that right.  Most of the time, it’s the humans that cause the most problems. Ok, that is par for the course at convenience stores anywhere. Moving on.

Triple Feature contains three new Josh of the Damned stories. Night of the Mustache, I Was Cthulhu’s Love Slave, and Interview With The Empire where we finally learn why Josh is so special.  I started giggling from page 1 and didn’t stop until the end.  I mean really. Stan Cthulhu? Stop it.  Really, I mean it.  Now I am going to have to start reading all over again.

Reading these stories are like munching on bonbons stuffed with weed.  Oozy chocolately goodness on the outside, mindbending surprises on the inside.  Combine all that with snappy dialog, outrageously memorable characters, and all too short stories and you have the Josh of the Damned series.  Throw in some added sweetness as well, because it’s there too.  I just love these books.  Just thinking about them makes my day.  Pick them up, and give them a read.  Josh and company will make your day too.

Cover:  Cover artist is LC Chase.  The cover is just one more treat in this veritable basket of goodies.  I would love to have a framed copy.  Just outstanding.

Available from Riptide Publishing, Amazon and ARe.

Check out Andrea Speed at http://andreaspeed.com/

Review of Abandoned Galactic Betrayal #1 by Silvia Violet

Review written for JoyfullyJay (4/14/12) and copy of book obtained for that purpose.

Rating:  3 stars (but only because I haven’t laughed this hard in ages)

Lark Zaccaro and his partner Derek Carlson are agents for the Intergalactic Investigations Bureau. While on assignment on a alien planet, their cover is blown and Derek Carlson is caught. Zaccaro flees the planet leaving his partner to be imprisoned and tortured for months.  Upon rescuing Derek, the Bureau informs him that his partner was the one who betrayed them all and left Derek to die.

Lark Zaccaro is deep under cover as the warden on a corrupt prison planet with no way out until a small spacecraft crash lands near the prison site.  When the guards drag the pilot before him, Lark is stunned to see that the pilot is none other than the man he thought he would never see again, Derek Carlson.  Derek has his own mission to accomplish, spring a young man from prison for his sister.  As the sexual heat flares between them once more, the men must put aside recriminations and past betrayals and work together if both men wish to live to get off planet.

Where to start?  Where to start?  I have not run across so many ludicrously unbelievable plot points, absurd alien names and just downright silliness since watching the MST3K’s “Manos: The Hands of Fate”.  I knew we were heading into Monty Python Lane when the Intergalactic Bureau they both work for is called IIB, yes, that’s right “Twobee”.  Immediately I started singing “twobee, twobee two”.

Then lets take the men.  Both are supposed to be hardened field agents and were partners together for years.  We don’t get really any of their back story only that Derek underwent such extreme torture as mere men do not recover from while bitterly blaming his partner for leaving him.  Lark now runs a corrupt prison where he’s had to do things so horrible that he has nightmares, oh and he’s sorry he left Derek on that planet.  But he didn’t mean too.  The Bureau betrayed them. So why is he still working for them?

Lark and Derek have loved each other secretly for years. When Lark spots Derek, he has his prison minions drag him off to Lark’s bedroom for lots of hot, angry, brutal sex (don’t get me started on a badass agent named Lark). Here comes the dubcon from the publisher’s note. And a training collar that zaps you. Always handy to have one around to use on sex slaves or have the slave use on you or whatever. There’s a leash too. It’s all very confusing. Never mind that the minions are close by and hate Lark’s guts, but let’s have lots of sex, and yelling and then the blubbering starts. OMG, that room had enough water in it to float a battleship. It’s sex, talk, cry, sex, talk, cry. Or crying and talking while having sex. And I’m thinking, aren’t you all supposed to get off the damn planet? What about your mission? You know the one no one seems to know anything about. Hello! Mission anyone?

In between pounding each other into the bed, they figure out that the Bureau had lied to them in a scene so priceless that it is a classic (“I yelled, I threw things.”  cries Lark talking about his confrontation with his Bureau boss). They throw on their clothes, grab the collar and head off to proceed with the mission. Nope, wait.   Let’s have more sex and talking and crying. Then you have the mission, some Flash Gordon stuff with the aircraft, and even more dialog that has me howling.  “Are you okay?” ask Derek of badly injured Lark(as he regains consciousness), who Derek has also just given pain pills to.   It’s just one endlessly funny bit after another.  And the ending? They check into a hotel, and the misunderstandings begin.  Where to take their relationship? At one point Derek tells  Lark, he wants to date, and make Lark smile. *head desk* What? No lock-n-load and off to get the traitor? No, just bring out the collar and have at it. Sigh.

And don’t get me started on the alien names of Lancarina, Lithusia, or my favorite Kraxnaftons.  I can’t even write those without giggling.  So, as a howler this book is a 5, as straight scifi, it’s a 2.8.  Read it for yourself and decide.  It’s not long.  Really, grab some popcorn, some friends, make a drinking game out of it.  You’ll thank me.  I’m off to watch some MST3K.  Oh, Cambot…..

Cover: Cover artist Reese Dante.  The cover is really pretty good.  It makes more sense than the book does.

Available from Silver Publishing, Amazon, and ARe.

Review of Blacker Than Black by Rhi Etzweiler

Reviewed for JoyfullyJay blog where I am a guest reviewer:

Rating: 4.5 stars

Black and Jhez are twin Nightwalkers, those who sell their chi or life force to the vampires that now rule the world.  Living in the shadows and tenements of the blue-light district of York, they thrive where other Nightwalkers soon wither and fall.  Their secret?  They steal the chi of their vampire clients even as they are selling theirs, a silent, stolen exchange of energy that has kept them alive for decades.

One unfortunate choice of a john changes everything for them.  Black picks Monsieur Garthelle as the john for the night, not recognizing the master vamp of the city.  What should have been a simple selling of Black’s chi (and the taking of a sliver of Garthelle’s energy) turns explosive, with Black running back to the streets, shaken beyond belief.  When Garthelle recovers, he tracks the twins down, confronts them and forces both to work for him as spies against other vampire families.  Facing not only the loss of their liberty and possibly their lives, they quickly discover nothing is what it seems to be, especially after a high placed vampire is murdered at Garthelle’s home.  Who are their enemies?  Who can be trusted?  What is the nature of the vampires obsession with them?

What a story.  I am going to say right off the bat, that this review is very frustrating to write.  I don’t want to give away any spoilers because who doesn’t love that “huh, didn’t see that coming” moment in stories they are reading?  And trust me, there are quite a few of those here.  The author plays with several themes here, fluidity and changeability run throughout the book.  Whether it is the changing nature of human society, the vampire families and their alliances, right down to the basic natures of human/vampire natures, all is constantly in flux.  The characters and the reader both can be certain of nothing as the story deepens.

The story unfolds from Black’s POV.  From the new world order to the skanky streets the twins live and work on, Black’s confusion is our confusion.  I like that the details of how the vampires came to rule are left deliberately vague.  The author has left our imaginations to fill in the gruesome blanks.  There are black holes of knowledge every where just waiting for the characters (or reader) to stumble and fall into in this story.  Just as the characters discover one alliance that may affect the balance of power, another event happens to undo all they have learned.   And that seesawing plays out so nicely as layer upon layer comes off and more of the plot is revealed.

I think the author has done a wonderful job of characterization here, not only with Black, but with Garthelle, Jhez, and Blue, a close friend of the twins.  Each different yet completely memorable.  What we learn of the new world everyone inhabits is gleaned through gritty realistic details of littered streets and grim despair of the human condition contrasted with the glossy buildings of obsidian black of the ruling vampires.

And speaking of vampires or the Lyche as they call themselves.   This is a different take on vampirism, combining elements of the traditional European vampires with that of the succubus/incubus type energy feeders to arrive at a vampire that seems old and fresh at the same time.  Familiar enough not to throw one off but with some new elements that make you sit up and take notice.  Very well done with vivid imagery that portrays the nature of chi exchange each character undergoes during a feeding.

That is not to say that there aren’t some slow parts where the narrative bogs down.  There are too many descriptions of Garthelle’s apartment building or rooms in his mansion, too much black.  I am going to assume that  this was intentional as the author is very careful in the construction of this story.  I was finding myself wondering how many times the author would find a way to insert the word black or blacker in terms of decor, apparel, or anything as a matter of fact.  I had black fatigue in some places.  But oh the pyrotechnics at the end.  They are wonderful.  A great way to end the journey of a thousand fun house mirrors.

And yes, I am still dying to tell you some spoilers.  But my lips are sealed and I am throwing away the key.

Cover:  Cover art by Del Melchionda. Love the cover.  It is lush and absolutely perfect in tone and graphics for the story. I even feel there is a hint here as well to one of the first twists in the story.  Great job.

Review of Sunset (Pact Arcanum #1) by Arshad Ahsanuddin

Written for JoyfullyJay

Review of Sunset (Pact Arcanum #1) by Arshad Ahsanuddin

Rating: 4 stars

The year is 2040.   A terrorist appears during an Oscar-like awards show and threatens to blow up the city with an atomic bomb unless her demands are met.  Rising from the audience to deal with the threat is Nicholas Jameson, known rock star.

As the clock ticks down the minutes to detonation, it is not only millions of lives at stake. Nick is also hiding a secret of monumental importance. Nick is Daywalker and one of the most powerful members of a secret supernatural society made up of Nightwalkers (vampires) , Daywalkers (vampires with souls), and Sentinels (warriors of the Light, vampire killers).  For tens of thousands of years,  unbeknownst to Humans among them, enemies Nightwalkers and Sentinels have lived and warred.  In secret, they created their own cultures and societies,  even as they strove for each others total destruction.  Then came the Redeemer and he offered the two sides a way to coexist without the constant warfare. Those Nightwalkers that accepted the Armistice became Daywalkers who worked with the Sentinels to keep the peace.  Now all is threatened when circumstances demand that Nick reveal his  true nature to the terrorist and the Human world watching the award telecast live.

Foes to the Armistice come from all sides as the Human governments react to the new reality of beings more powerful and advanced living among them and Nightwalkers seek to rule once more.  The Society needs a leader and looks to Nick to help save the Armistice and their existence.  But Nick is haunted by his past and his weakness is a threat to all near him.  Can Nick surmount his traumatic past and become a hero the world needs?

Sunset (Pact Arcanum #1) is the first in a series of seven books (the seventh book is called Book #4) written by Arshad Ahsanuddin.  The Pact Arcanum series is world building on an epic and labyrinthine scale.    There are so many convoluted and confounding layers to this story that the maze of King Midos begins to look like a game of Chutes and Ladders next to it.  For me it never bodes well that the Introduction is pages of the Hierarchies of the Nightwalker, Daywalker and Sentinel societies, complete with Titles you won’t remember (i.e, ” Imperator: Adjudicator between vampire Houses, called the Huntmaster Magister: Leader of a vampire House, called the Prince (gender neutral)” etc.), places and names of places too numerous to remember, and a cast roster you won’t need to remember as each character is well introduced within the confines of the novel.  Whereas maps help place events, information lists of this nature impede the forward motion of the story and is unnecessary if the exposition is clear.

Sunset starts out with great promise.  As Chapter one and the story opens, the award ceremony is underway and the terrorists are taking their places inside the auditorium.  The tension increases as the terrorists make themselves known, the bomb is unveiled, and Nick is forced to reveal himself to the world.  I love fantasy stories and when the author has created a universe within a series of books, I am filled with anticipation of days ahead of joyous reading.

At Chapter 5, I start to get that “duhoh” feeling as time starts to jump ahead.  Chapter 6 is “five hours after public exposure”.  Chapter 7? That is “four hours earlier, two hours after public exposure”.  Chapter 10 and its now January 2040, one day after public exposure.  Each chapter is a different time frame, most of the time.  Sigh.  Chapter 11 and its February 2040, two weeks after public exposure, Chapter 12 takes place three hours earlier than Chapter 11.  And on it goes as straight forward storytelling is abandoned in place of a high wire trapeze act, as time swings back and forth between each chapter.  Also most chapters describes where as well as when the chapter takes place, as in “Chapter  39, Armistice Embassy, Washington, D.C.; Five minutes earlier.” Then “Chapter 40 Armistice Security Headquarters, Anchorpoint City, Grand Mesa, Colorado; Thirty minutes later.”  Chapter 41 has no such description. It is just a continuation of the previous chapter.  For the sake of continuity, Chapter 41 should still be 40.  But this happens throughout the book.

Flat characterization is also a problem here.  Nicholas Jameson is a vampire that everyone is in love with to the point of aggression but I could never understand why the   character instills such passion in others.  I certainly didn’t feel it. In fact, none of the main characters here ever felt real.  At the very end of the book, I was sniffling over the death of a minor character, a “satellite” person brought in to achieve a goal the author had in mind.  This person was more fully actualized than any of the main characters introduced previously and the only one I actually cared about.  That is a sad fact.

Jeffrey Hirschberg in his “11 Laws of Great Storytelling” states “attentiveness (or lack thereof)  of the audience is directly related to its ability to make a successful emotional connection.” And he’s right.  I can tell that Arshad Ahsanuddin not only loves the world he has created but is a scientist as well due to all the minutiae created and recorded here.   In addition to the layers of Titles, titles given to powers, layers of titles within each court, there are also drawings of glyphs and symbols and drawings of weapons.  While such minutiae can enrich the storytelling experience, it can also serve to weigh down the momentum of the story under too many details until that “emotional connection” is lost.

Elmore Leonard’s Ten Rules of Writing*, Rule 10 is “Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.”

While this sounds humorous, it is also true. In sections of Sunset, the layers of details are so dense and numerous, the story grinds to a halt.  Desperate to find the story’s energy again, heck desperate to find just the story, I started to flip through the paragraphs, pages even, until the novel reached out to me once more.

Elmore Leonard’s Rules 8 and 9 also apply here.

8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.

9. Don’t go into great detail describing places and things.

But both are self explanatory and would make this review much too long.

As with Burn, another fantasy epic in the making, Sunset (Pact Arcanum#1) becomes powerful in the very last portion of the book, pulling the reader to the edge of the seat in suspense and anticipation of events unfolding.  But Sunset takes that emotional punch it just achieved and throws it away at the contrived ending.  I actually reread the last pages in disbelief, but this has to be where the author planned to take us all along.  It just does not seem to match the rest of the  book.

So I give Sunset 4 stars mostly because of the universe building and its details.  That is all very well done.  The story is a terrific one that gets lost in fragmented storytelling ,detail overload, and poor characterization.  The rest of the books are already written (including Books #2.5 and #3.5, along with 2, 3, 4 and Interludes).  But I think I will stop here.  There are other universes and fantasies on the horizon calling to me.  I think I will journey there instead.

Cover:  The Cover is glorious and so suitable for the story.  The illustrator is Craig Payst.