The Pill Bugs of Time (Offbeat Crimes #2) by Angel Martinez
Release Day: September 20
Cover Art by Posh Gosh
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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to have some of the Paranormal Officers from Offbeat Crimes and the 77th Precinct here to answer questions for our readers:
Questions for Paranormal Officers: Time in a Bottle
We’re back with the officers of the 77th Precinct for another series of questions in the squad room. Actually, we’re amazed they let us come back…
If we could bottle time travel and put it up on a shelf so you could pick any period in history for your travels, what time would you choose?
Wolf (wolf cursed into human form): Before humans got here would be good.
Shira Lourdes (stress telekinetic): But then you’d still be human in a time when there aren’t any humans. Or would you, since there weren’t any? Maybe since there weren’t, you’d be a wolf again or—
Greg Santos (waterfowl empath): Shira, stop. Please. Time paradoxes give me a headache. If I had to pick a time? Maybe Ancient Egypt? That was a pretty cool time.”
Carrington Loveless III (skim-blood vampire): You’d have to be more specific, Greg. The Egyptian Dynasties covered over three thousand years.
Santos: Picky. Whenever they built the pyramids, then. I’d want to see that.
Loveless: I’ve actually thought about this—
Edgar (the neon raven): So fucking surprised! All of us!
Loveless: Thank you for the input, Edgar. As I said, I’ve thought about this, how I love the elegance of the Regency period or the excitement of the Renaissance, but then I think about how filthy and diseased those periods were. No vaccinations, no antibiotics, no proper medical facilities.
Amanda Zacchini (post-cognitive): Carr, you’re a vampire. You don’t have to worry about that crap.
Loveless: Sanitation-wise it was still awfully filthy.
Vance Virago (humidity-challenged firestarter): Damn it, why do you have to be such a fucking pansy vampire? We couldn’t get a badass one. Oh, no.
Zacchini: Carr’s pretty badass when he needs to be. Shut you pie hole, Vance. I’d wanna be a cowboy. You know, an Old West one.
Virago: Manda, you can’t be a cowboy! You don’t have a—
Jeff Gatling (apportation of fruit): Vance, seriously. You do not want to finish that sentence. Manda would be an awesome cowboy. Or a gunslinger, ’cause who always has the highest firing range scores? I think I’d want the forties. After the war. I could be a private detective in LA. Humphrey Bogart. Jake Gittes. That kind of thing.
Kyle Monroe (talent absorber) calls out from the back of the room: Forget it, Jeff; it’s Chinatown!
Gatling: Funny guy.
Vikash Soren (unclassified paranormal talent): I think I like the idea of seeing where we’re going instead of where we’ve been. Some point in the future. Provided the Earth is still inhabitable.
Monroe: Make sure you take your zombie-hunting gun. Never know, right? I think I’d go medieval. Yeah, yeah, I know, Carr, disease and filth. But some pretty cool stuff going on. People learning stuff again, figuring shit out.
Soren: And people were shorter then.
Monroe: True—hey! Shut up.
Relationship and communication issues plague Officer Vikash Soren, but those are nothing compared to facing stick-throwing tumbleweeds, pill bugs and…time travel?
Vikash Soren, the perfect police officer except for his odd paranormal ability, never seems to lose his temper. Always serene and competent, he’s taken on the role of mediator in a squad room full of misfits. But on the inside, he’s a mess. Unable to tell his police partner that he loves him, Vikash struggles silently, terrified of losing Kyle as a lover, partner and friend.
But life in the 77th Precinct doesn’t leave much room for internal reflection. A confrontation with a stick-throwing tumbleweed in Fairmount Park leads to bizarre consequences involving pill bugs, statues and…time travel? If Vikash manages to survive the week and stay in one point in time, he might be able to address normal things like relationship problems. He just needs Kyle to have a little more patience. Maybe a few centuries’ worth.
Publisher’s Note: This book has previously been released elsewhere. It has been revised and re-edited for re-release with Pride Publishing.
Pre-order Date: 9th August 2016
Available exclusively to Pride Publishing: 23rd August 2016
General Release Date: 20th September 2016