Category: Fantasy

VGB Looks at When Talking Dirty Makes You Giggle or Spank Me Harder, Bunny Poo!

Note: Let’s just agree that this column is for mature audiences only shall we? If you continue reading, you are clearly over the age of 18 and don’t need your parents approval. We are serious, people! Words used in the most despicable manner is no laughing matter!!! Ok, well it is a laughing matter or we wouldn’t be here. Getting off course again. Sigh.

 It’s been a while since our last get together and you can chalk that up to the quality of the books I have been reading lately.  While they have run the gamut from middling fair to absolutely splendid, very few have fallen into the rainbow skittle of passionate prose that gets me going in eye blinking disbelief.  That choice of words worthy of a double take or three, the “oh no she/he didn’t” selection that begs the question “why, oh why did he say that?” It’s the mesmerizing moment you realize that someone actually put those words in a sentence in a paragraph on a page in a story that halts you in your tracks. But this particular topic has been running around my head  like a gerbil on a  squeaky wheel for a while now just waiting for something or some word to prod it into action. And a recent novella did just that. It shocked that gerbil into an all out sprint and here we are examining what makes some dirty talk sexy and others hysterical.

I realize that bed talk can be subjective.  What turns one person into a puddle of  goo sends another into paroxysms of hilarity or worse delivers a veritable cold shower to any sexy thoughts or actions that up until then had been looking pretty darn promising.  I get that, really I do! We have the school of “Harder, faster, deeper, there, fuck meeeeee  ” dirty talk.  Short bursts of words that spit forth from a participant’s mouth in the midst of a flurry of physical activity often imagining the verbal directions being given.  I find this can be really sexy if done right.  Say the author has written this vividly described sex scenes and the men are having at it in all ways sweaty and real.  Throw those words in to make the men frantic in their need for each other.  I get it (and so do they if they are lucky).  Done well, I find it to be very effective *waves a fan*.  But add a word or too, and hilarity replaces sexy in a heartbeat.  Example: ” Yeah, do it, do it harder. Fuck me with your big, hairy sausage, boo boo Daddy!” *cough, cough, cough* Sexy turns into spew event and the ambience is gone.

You can also find the “Give it to me now, I want it all, I can take it, make me want it, pound me into the mattress” format.  I call this type  the Drill Master of Smut Talk.  The person, could be a bossy bottom or someone topping from the bottom, is letting the other person know exactly what is expected here and woe to that person if they don’t deliver.  Again, in the right hands *snort*, this can turn up the heat and be informative, all at the same time. You get the how, when and where and a lesson on how to communicate better in bed.  What’s not to love?  Everyone’s a winner!

Some people despise the lack of pronouns from a partner in passion. For these lovers of all things proper and sentence structure, it ‘s all about syntax and semantics. Doesn’t that sentence  just make you quiver?  They shudder (and not in a good way) at “need you, want you, touch me, fuck me”, for those persons complete grammar is required. Who exactly “needs” what? And where do they “need” it?  I can see some frenzied folk getting confused.  Throw out that “fill me, fuck me”, and replace it with “Oh, I need you now, Alphonse.  Please take me to bed post haste, and have your wanton way with my beauteous form, you magnificent bastard.”  That just might be all some need to pole vault into the four poster, all sweaty and raring to have at it.

Others find certain proper nouns a complete turn off.  “Take it slut! You like a big thing up your hole.” Yep, the word causing a heap of “bleck” would be slut, although I do have problems with that entire sentence.  Whore, Daddy, boy, slut are terms that either delight or disgust when used in bed.  Papi was another. It’s almost fifty fifty with people coming (hah) down on one side or the other.  Personally?  Not big on the slut thing, but I won’t mark a book down for it when it comes to the review. If it works for the character, then it works for me.

Then we get to the sounds.  You know what I mean.  Two or more men are having a splendid time writhing about in as many positions possible.  And instead of words, it’s animalistic sounds urging them on to greater highs of sexual heat and prowess.  They moan, they groan, they growl and roar, purr and whimper.  Whew! *waves the fan madly* I am all about the animal sounds, love them in fact.  Except when the mewl turns into a mew, and I start to wonder where the kitties are hidden.  Some men apparently even “chirp” in  bed.  Huh. Hard to picture that one.  Bird fetish perhaps to go along with the whinny?

What doesn’t work? Stilted comments or comments so fatuous that just reading them makes me laugh out loud, never a good thing when the author is going for hot and heavy.  Take this sentence. “Mmm, can’t wait”—Randy lay sprawled on the bed—“to feel that dick of yours stretching my channel.” Again “Stretch my channel, stretch my channel.”  Umm, does that strike anyone as sexy? How about two idiots and a gun? Here they are  covered with lube,“The safety is on, babe! We’ll play a little more with that later. Right now, I wanna pump your ass full of my lead.”  Or perhaps it’s the would-be astronauts, where Rick wants Lance to “ride my pocket rocket into the stars”. And then for me the giggles start. I always want the author to take the time to say those phrases out loud, to take them around the verbal block so to speak.  If it sounds funny when saying it, the chances are pretty good it is going to read that way too.  I’m trying to be helpful here, folks!

Who knew talking dirty could be so funny? Well Jade Buchanen for one. Thank you, Tam, for this one:

From Jade Buchanan’s Del Fantasma: Duck Fart

“Drake let Bailey go just far enough to look at the other man. He wanted to hear more spilling from Bailey’s lips. “Come on, talk dirty to me, baby.”

A look of panic crossed Bailey’s face. Drake hid his grin. This should be fun.

“Uh…I want you to put your alligator in my love tunnel?”

Eyes wide, Drake started to choke. He could barely breathe, bent over the steering wheel now, laughing so hard his belly hurt.”

From hot to hurl, from sexy to snigger, dirty talk provides us with memorable moments in stories, from wonderfully realistic sexy scenes to the WTF smut verbalizations of a hominid in heat.  Authors, before you write it, say it, try it out!  Ask around, find out what real people are really saying or yelling as it were.  It might amaze you to find out what you think works in bed is far more suitable to Barnum and Bailey’s Circus or Cirque de Soleil than to two or more people getting their lust on.

If not, then your characters might just end up saying something like ” “I want you to stuff your massive demon cock in my tight, waiting hole.” Thank you, Julia, for that little gem.  And if they do, the chances are they might just end up being featured in a  Vocabulary Gone Bad.  I’m reading away, people, gobbling up page after page.  You’ve been forewarned and now it’s up to you.  If your characters “want it, need it, hurts so bad, Bunny Poo”, make sure its as sexy as you think it sounds, or the giggling you hear might be mine.

Review of the Jewel Bonds Series by Megan Derr

Rating: 4.75 stars

 

For the Jewel Bonds series, Megan Derr creates a rich world of wizardry and combatants.  In this fantasy world, we have the Territories full of wild creatures and dragons, a lawless land that is constantly infringing on the civilized cities and towns.  To deliver the full measure of protection to the civilized zones, it takes a bonded team comprised of a mage and a warrior.  One to go forward in strength and combat, the other to watch his back and keep safe all around them by magical means.

Children with an affinity for magic or sword work and able to pay tuition go to live at the University of Magic and Combat where they are taught lessons in warfare and magic.  The children are all ages. The different schools seem to correspond to our system here. Some arrive in their teens for studies at the university level. Neither gender or social status matters, both can be warriors or mages, as long as the tuition is paid or scholarships hold, they can attend.  When a mage is finishing their third year in the University, clear jewels are implanted in their wrists and foreheads, showing they are ready to become full mages able to use their magic to the fullest of their abilities. Mages tend to have a talent for one area of alchemy like fire or wind and when they find a warrior to bond with, their jewels take on the eye color of their partner. But for some mages, whatever the reason, a warrior is never found to bond with, leaving them to become a field mage or research mage on their own.

Within this realm of harsh realities, of learning acquired through pain and physical deprivation, Megan Derr gives us three short stories of mages and warriors at different stages in life. Two are still in school at The Royal University of Magic and Combat in the capitol city, the middle pair have left their schooling behind them, one to glory and the other to ignominy and despair, and the third pair sees a mage in his forties, in straightened circumstances, facing a life without a position, possessions or a bond who in his most desperate hour meets a young warrior in need of a temporary mage.  Derr gives us a glimpse into their lives, the hardships they endure to become warriors and mages, and the strange journeys made to find fulfillment and love.

An Admirer (Jewel Bonds #1) introduces us to Kaeck, a poor student working three jobs to help subsidize his scholarship in order for his to stay in school.  By inclination (he feels unloved by family and peers) and circumstances (he works from predawn hours to midnight), he has isolated himself from most of the student body.  Kaeck’s daily routine and expectations rarely changes until the day he opens his student post box and finds a letter from a secret admirer, One letter is followed by others and then gifts.  And Kaeck finds his outlook changing, someone admires him, thinks him beautiful! Kaeck wants to meet his admirer and give him a gift back. But while his admirer is anonymous, Kaeck has met a fellow student, Bellamy, with whom he shares common interests and insecurities and soon Kaeck wonders if their friendship could turn out to be more. But Bellamy is enamored of another student and Kaeck is left wondering if his secret admirer will ever come forward.

I took Kaeck to heart immediately.  Who hasn’t had someone like him in their lives, doing everything he can to keep afloat and make his dreams come true. Kaeck’s family is harsh and lacking love growing up has contributed to his sense of worthlessness.  I just wanted to grab him up, give him a huge hug and feed him a massive dinner.  Kaeck is so fully realized that his pain became mine as well.  It was just as easy to become invested in Bellamy.  A “country mouse” late to class his first day of advanced swordplay and in his ignorance he treated the Lord like a regular professor. Bellamy gave his all in a swordfight, earning his Lordship’s respect and earning a coveted apprenticeship as well as the continued resentment of his peers. Neither young man is comfortable around others, one silent, the other babbles when nervous.  But together, they find a ease with each other they have found no where else.  Derr brings the stress and angst that comes from  school cliques, trying to find your way,  and awkwardness in school and transfers it believably to a fantasy world.   I loved this story and want so much more of these two. At 36 pages, it felt just too short as I was totally invested in these young men and their world. You will feel the same.

Kiss the Rain (Jewel Bonds #2) is a neat time shift as the two heads of Magic and Combat, Lord Jenohn and Master Selsor, almost 60 years old in An Admirer, here  are only 18 when the story begins.  We meet Selsor as he is being brutally attacked by bullies in the school yard at the University.  Told from Selsor’s POV, this is a difficult paragraph to read as you feel every blow to the ribs, every kick to his head as curses rain down upon him.  In his fear, he strikes out with his magic, which up to now has never worked.  A lightning bolt comes out of the sky, killing another student in the courtyard by accident.  Selsor is hauled before the University council who refuse to believe him about the attack and the accident. They tell him the student is dead because of him.  Selsor is banished, forbidden to use magic upon threat of death, and his jewels turned black by the University mages.  Three years have past, and we meet up with Selsor, age 20, scrubbing the floors of a lowly inn, living in the straw above the animals in the stable, reduced to almost starvation levels as no one will hire a disgraced mage.  So depressed he has tried to kill himself, he is beaten regularly by the sadistic innkeeper. Into the inn comes Jenohn, a warrior and a group of soldiers on a mission from the Prince.  The town they are in is being inundated by rain to the point of extermination and the Prince wants to know if black magic is the cause. Jenohn needs the help of an uncorrupted mage and picks Selsor for the job, to his amazement and distrust.

In Kiss The Rain, Megan Derr takes the hard life and isolation of Kaeck’s student life and then deepens it into abuse and horror for Selsor.  Selsor only wanted to become a mage and bond with a warrior, just like his parents had.  But his pretty features and slight build made him an easy target at school where the bullies endless physical and emotional abuse was a daily occurance.  Not only was Selsor afraid for his life but his magic doesn’t want to work even though he knows he has it, adding frustration to his fear.  Selsor commands both our empathy and understanding as he tries to deal with horrific living conditions and the loss of his dreams.  Especially horrifying are his circumstances when we meet up with Selsor years later only to find him being kicked and abused again, only this time with no magic at hand.  So when this golden warrior, Jenohn appears, offering him enough silver to live on and escape the life he is living, we are just as wary as Selsor.  He knows from experience that life is never fair nor kind.  But just as Jenohn grows on Selsor, so does he grow on the reader.  Arrogant but able to back it up, kind in a sort of “need to smack him” sort of way, Jenohn just gets under your skin, Selsor’s too.  Selsor finds it hard to keep his grump on when faced with such irrespressible good nature, and all of it directed at him.  Great characters, both of them.  I loved seeing their backstory after getting a glimpse of them in old age.  This  story has it all, tears, angst, rage and laughter all in 47 pages.  Amazing.

An Exception (Jewel Bonds #3) takes us into the life of Riot, a lonely mage. Mage Riot never thought he would be jobless and practically homeless at the age of 40.  After 20 years of service to the lord of the territories, making sure the land is safe from dragons and that the kingdom prospers, his lord dies.  The new lord is an arrogant, smarmy young man who bullies all around him and expects Riot to submit to his sexual demands.  An honorable man, Riot refuses the pipsqueaks’s ultimatum, and leaves with nothing as all his belongings are confiscated by the new lord.  Even worse, once Riot is cast out, rumors are spread, casting aspersions on Riot’s honor and magic abilities.  Almost penniless, Riot is trying hard to hold on in a land that no longer seems to put a value on his experience, and accumulated wisdom. What is a mage to do when all the rules he has lived by are deemed old fashioned?

I loved Riot immediately.  He is such a unique character.  He is older, forty to be exact.  His hair is graying and he is well aware that any chance he had of being regarded as handsome is long past.  His former lord was a good man and Riot was happy in his service, even though he had never met a warrior who wish to be bonded to him during that time, to his everlasting sorrow.  Now his crystals in his forehead and wrists have turned gray from lack of use and he despairs of ever finding another job, especially at his age, let alone a warrior who would want an older man.  How that rings true no matter the setting, our world or that of fantasy.  Riot is so relatable in every way.

Derr excels at characterization and her people, like Riot, have emotions, thoughts and feelings that match ours.  How can we not relate to them, trying to get through life without compromising who they are and dealing with the stress of everyday life? Even if that life means keeping the kingdom safe from dragons? All that to deal with and at middle age too. Depressing, even heartbreaking.  I felt I knew Riot intimately. Rior meets his match in Coroe, a warrior in need of a mage.  Coroe is in charge of seeing his Lady safely to the lands of her new husband in a neighboring kingdom and all the mages he has hired have been disastrous, either drunk or incompetent or both. Coroe’s gorgeous looks belie his warrior status just as Riot’s rough warrior like exterior is atypical of mages.Both men have had problems stemming from peoples assumptions about their appearance and both are equally wary about the other.  Each also feels their age difference matters to the other in how they are perceived.  Again, how realistic. Coroe’s character has the same level of complexity that Riot has, but it comes out in difference ways.  I loved him too.  Both men circle around their mutual attraction, held back by Riot’s insistence on a firm separation of business from pleasure.  I liked this plot twist that keeps the men from acting on their romantic impluses because with the physical sexual act removed from the action, Derr is able to concentrate on building her characters, their backstory and amble, instead of run, to the start of a romance.  Here too, Derr gives us a complex duo in 10,000 words.  Do I want to see more of them?  Why yes, I do!

I hope Megan Derr will continue to give us wonderful stories in the Jewel Bonds universe,  Perhaps more of Selsor and Jenohn as we are missing 40  years of their lives.  Or perhaps Kaeck and Bellamy after graduation.  The plot possibilities are endless and so are my hopes for the series.  Don’t pass these up.

Covers by Megan Derr.  Hard to argue when it is the author themselves creating the covers for her stories.  Love them.

It’s Football Season and I’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling, the Week Ahead in Reviews and A Cocktail

It’s Labor Day weekend here in the States, a time to hunker down and celebrate the end of summer.  For some families this means a last dash to the beach or the start of school. It is also the start of football season.  It’s the start of tailgating parties, stadium crowds and team colors.  Mine used to be red and yellow, the colors of the  Washington Redskins, my family’s team.  It all started with my Dad.  He loves the Redskins.  We have been fans through thick and thin as they say.  I can even remember Dad taking me to a Redskin home game when they were coached by Vince Lombardi. That was 1969.  My dad and his friend Tom Cox had a group of season tickets and when one of “the gang” couldn’t go, Dad brought me.  What a thrill.  Redskin fans are beyond fanatical, they are legendary.  And every game, RFK shook from the ground to the rafters with their fervor.  I will never forget it as long as I live. Screaming until I was hoarse, the people towering around me as all stood to watch a play on the field and then the ride home, Dad’s either thrilled because we won or furious with a loss. Later on, the ride home included Dad listening to Sonny and Sam (that’s Sonny Jurgenson and Sam Huff) dissect the day’s game.  We had Redskin blankets, hats, and scarves.  We went through the George Allen and Jack Pardee years before we arrived at the Golden Age.  That would be owner Jack Kent Cooke, affectionately known as The Squire, Bobby Beathard the GM, and Joe Gibbs, the Winningest Coach of them all.  From 1981 to 1992, we basked in the glory that was the Redskins and quite frankly made up for all the years it took to get there.

But 10 years ago, the Squire died and Dan Snyder bought the team.  I hung in there as long as I could but the soul went out of them that day.  Dan Snyder single handedly has ruined the Redskins for me (and many others).  How can you back a team when the owner sues it’s fans? When die hard season ticket holders could no longer afford their season tickets because of the economy (some losing everything), the Redskins sued their fans to recover the costs of the passes, even a grandmother living on retirement! No other team did that. Made the headlines, they recanted, a bit.  Still did it though.  Then a small free newspaper takes Dan Snyder to task over his actions.  He sues the newspaper!  I guess free speech is not to be tolerated in Snyder territory.  On and on it goes, one man’s arrogance and bad karma wiping out half a century of fans adoration and goodwill.

And now I give up.  I won’t root for them any longer.  Some will say the very name “Redskins” is cursed.  Perhaps they are right. It’s long past the time to retire a name offensive to so many.  Maybe I will look around for another team to root for.  The Ravens don’t do it for me.  I like the Packers and the Saints.  So who knows?  In the meantime, I have the Capitals and Ted Leonsis to cheer for.  And The Washington Nationals have risen above their “Natinals” days to become an inspiration and a team worthy of cheering for and not just because they are winning, but winning in the right way!  Go, Nats!   Without football, perhaps I will have more time to knit, certainly to read.  And reflect on the past.

This coming week’s reviews are:

Monday:                      Solid As A Stone by Amylea Lyn

Tuesday:                      Gambling Men, The Novel by Amy Lane

Wednesday:                Jewel Bonds series by Megan Derr

Thursday:                    One Day At A Time by Dawn Douglas

Friday:                          Summer Sizzle by Berengaria Brown

Saturday:                      Vocabulary Gone Bad Looks at Sexy(Not) Dirty Talk or Spank Me Harder, Bunny Poo!

Our last summer cocktail to finish out the summer this Labor Day weekend for those of you in the States is the Sidecar!

The Sidecar. 

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons superfine sugar
1 lemon wedge
3 tablespoons (1 1/2 ounces) Cognac
2 tablespoons (1 ounce) Cointreau or other Triple Sec orange liqueur
1 tablespoon (1/2 ounce) fresh lemon juice
1 cup ice

Directions:

Spread superfine sugar on small plate. Rub lemon wedge halfway around rim of chilled martini or coupe glass. Dip moistened side of glass in sugar to lightly coat outside rim of glass. Set aside.
In cocktail shaker, combine Cognac, Cointreau, and lemon juice. Add ice and shake vigorously until well chilled, about 30 seconds. Strain into prepared martini or coupe glass and serve.

Review of Lashings of Sauce Anthology

3rdRating: 4.5 stars

Lashing: British slang for lots or large amounts.  In celebration of 2012 Olympics, the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and the 3rd Annual UK GLBTQ Fiction Meet, a lashing of authors from all over the Globe put forth an GLBTQ anthology of stories that highlight everything that makes Britain  (and mainland Europe) a great place for GLBTQ people to love and live.

Here is a list of stories and authors in the order they appear:

• Post Mortem by Jordan Castillo Price
• Dressing Down by Clare London
• Et Tu, Fishies? by JL Merrow
• Zones by Elyan Smith
• Sollicito by Charlie Cochrane
• A Few Days Away by Elin Gregory
• Vidi Velo Vici by Robbie Whyte
• Shelter From Storms by Sandra Lindsey
• Faulty Genes by Rebecca Cohen
• Lost in London by Tam Ames
• My Husband by Zahra Owens
• Waiting for a Spark by Lillian Francis
• Social Whirl by Emily Moreton
• School for Doms by Anne Brooke
• Dragon Dance by Josephine Myles
• Reclaiming Territory by Becky Black

The stories contained within this anthology really run the gamut of GLBTQ sexuality as well as genre.  Here you will find stories of wereshifters of London (no, not those, quite the contrary) to lesbians in love, love in transition, timeless love or should that be love amuck the ages and finally lost lovers reunited after a long separation.  There is humor, ok, humour (sheesh) and brooding, and angst, all the emotions love pulls out of you and more.  And oh what authors await you between the pages, it is almost sinful to have such a wealth of talent in one book.

Some of the stories don’t fall into the realm of books I normally read and review but I will say that I enjoyed them all.  Thank you for my visit into f/f fiction as well as D/s.  There are stories of transgender persons and one who cross dresses with panache. These stories manage to combine great characterizations, vivid descriptions from locations all over Britain and plots that make you guffaw and break down in tears.  Here were some of my favorites among a list of outstanding stories:

Et Tu, Fishies? by J.L. Merrow.  When Bill leaves his fish tank along with his flat in the hands of Marty for the week, Marty was prepared for many things.  Cleaning, feeding the fish, masturbating in Bill’s bed, lots of things.  Nothing, however, prepared him for Arthur, the weird upstairs neighbor.  That would be Arthur Prefect. When Marty challenges him on his name, he says it used to be Herbert Wells.  Right.  And Arthur has lost his lover.  That would be..nope not giving that one away.  Yes, indeedy, we are off on a wonderful romp involving lashings of vodka, wine , walnuts and cheesy balls.  And time travel, snappy dialog and drunken sex.  Loved it.

Sollicito by Charlie Cochrane.  She did it, she went ahead and did it. Charlie Cochrane gives us weresloths of London.  With shifters of all sorts bounding across the pages of book after book, there was nary a weresloth among them.  Until now. Told from the point of view of an unnamed bloke who sprouts fur and long curved claws at the most inopportune moment, he bemoans the fact that his shifting, unlike the numerous wolf shape shifters, has no rhyme nor reason to it.   One moment he is fine, the next he has fur and the urge to move slowly along a balustrade.  Yes, insert spew event.  The whole story is like that.  While laughing out loud, I found a new phrase to use “divvy doo dah”.  Love the sound of that.  Had to look up Martin Johnson (not a clue), read the words “brolly dangling stage” several times as obscene images flittered across my mental landscape while remaining completely in the dark about the Junction 6 of the M40. Yes,I know.  It’s a British thing!  Love this story even as it boggled my very American mind.

Vidi Velo Vici by Robbie Whyte. Whyte uses a clever format for this story of lust, if not love discovered during a daily commute through traffic.  Each day Evan sets out for the office in his car only to find himself trapped in horrific traffic. Each day finds him on the phone to his sarcastic assistant, Tia, to have her rearrange his schedule as he is going to be late into the office.  Monday, 8:38 am and Evan’s car mirror is clipped by a cyclist weaving through the clogged cars.  Evan’s rage is only abated by watching some outstanding glutes in tight spandex peddling away.  Day after day, Even and the faceless cyclist appear on the same road and at the same time.  You listen in on Evan’s inner dialog as he watches for that magnificent physique to appear in the mirror, Evan consults with his sat-nav with the voice of Vader, Evan talks to Tia whose droll comments on Evan’s current legal case involving a shih tzu,  dog custody and someone named Antonio who he keeps sleeping with had me giggling madly.  It’s funny, it’s real, and has a great ending.

Shelter From Storms by Sandra Lindsey takes us back to the French Revolution as a wounded, frail Louis appears on the doorstep of Daniel Elcott in England.  He has made his way through war torn France to Daniel’s country manor with only a small dirty calling card to hand the butler. Once the men were lovers when younger, now Daniel is married with children.  But Louis has no where else to go as he has lost it all.  The men reconnect as Louis falls ill and Daniel attends to his needs.  Their love sparks once more as Louis convalesces.  Daniel finds that with Louis’ return so does the man he once was.  Lovely, well told story that brings history to life and makes a gay relationship seem not only possible but realistic as well.

Lost In London by Tam Ames.  Here we meet Kevin Larton, from Calgary in Canada.  He’s in London to go to school but finding it difficult to navigate his way.  He is finding his courses difficult, making new friends more so and when it comes to reading maps and getting around town, he is at a complete loss.  It doesn’t matter that he is here to get his PhD in Economics or was a city planner.  Kevin just can’t read maps so he is always lost. A chance meeting with Benjamin White gives Kevin a change in direction.  Everything starts to become possible, friends, degree and perhaps even a boyfriend.  There is a hilarious drunken scene, wonderful characters and I learned what a feedlot was.  Ewww.  Great story, though.

My Husband by Zahra Owen charts one person’s marriage through the tumultuous stages of their transitioning from female to male.  There is never a missed step as Owens treats the subject with sensitivity and authenticity.  Told from Sam’s POV, we meet Sean their husband and see their courtship and marriage through Sam’s memories.  Owen gives us a glimpse of what it must feel like to be born in the wrong body and the journey one person makes to correct nature’s mistake. Poignant and lovely.

Dragon Dance by Josephine Myles is the penultimate story and one of my top two (I have no intension of telling you all the other, guess why don’t you).  I love going to Chinatown here in DC and watching the Dragon Dance during the Chinese New Year so imagine my delight over a story wrapped around two friends and their families preparing the costumes and dragon for their neighborhood’s New Year celebration. Gan and Archie are two lifelong friends whose families are equally close in their small village’s Chinese community.  As their mothers make the Dragon from crimson parachute material and fashion the pearl it will chase after, the boys discover their sexuality and the love that has always been present.  Myles pulled me in completely from the vibrant portraits of the boys as they dance the Dragon Dance. As they practice, their movements are jerky and uncoordinated with respect to each other but as they communicate their love and desire  it becomes sinuous, motions beckoning each other forward that mimic the depth their relationship has finally achieved.  I could picture it unfolding so real did it all become. Sigh.

Reclaiming Territory by Becky Black is the last story of the anthology so it is fitting that it is the story of  an old love lost and then later reclaimed.  Jim and Andy are riding a motorcycle and sidecar to Whitby, a place full of memories for both men and their relationship, good and bad.  As they wander through town, making various stops we learn their history and what is has taken for the men to get to this stage in their relationship where they are now.  The story bounds between 2012, 1987 the year they broke up, and 2009, the year they reconnected.  Jim is so very human in his fears and faults as is Andy in his anger over Jim’s betrayal and cowardice.  All it takes is a look at the date and remember what it meant to be gay during that time period.  Yes, things have changed, yes, they have gotten easier in some parts of the globe but this story is a reminder of the fears of coming out and staying together as a gay committed couple that many had during the 80’s.  It is fitting that in celebrating our present, the past is never forgotten and Black does an outstanding job of bringing that  to us in the forms of Jim and Andy riding into the future firmly hooked together by vehicle and by choice.

Go out and grab this anthology, read each story, find your own favorites, Mine might shuffle as I read it once more.  Happy Jubilee, Queen, Great Olympics, Britain and have a wonderful time at the UK GLBTQ Fiction Meet.  I really wish I was there with you.  Divvy doo dah!

Cover art by Alex Beecroft.  Smashing I say! lol

Review of Wick by Megan Derr

Rating: 4.75 stars

Wick tells the tale of four wielders of magic or wicks.  Swordwick concerns a royal swordwick who must lie about his abilities as he accompanies his sister to an arranged marriage.  Oddwick presents us with a tatterdemalion of a wick,  a brilliant eccentric who has locked himself away with his research and books until a gorgeous Captain comes knocking.  Songwick introduces us to Lyrawick, a rare wick still carrying the physical and emotion scars of his childhood, locked in bitterness until a child in need forces him to face his past.  And finally, Flamewick, the story of a powerful flamewick with a secret agenda until he is attacked and those precious to him, kidnapped.  To save them, he will need the help of all the wicks to defeat his enemy and ensure the safety of all around him.

Once again Megan Derr conjures up a fantastical world and populates it with people and creatures of unimaginable beauty, anguished pasts, and magical traits galore and makes it all seem so very real.  In Wick, the title is never fully explained and it is up to the reader to define it for themselves. People who are wicks come into their magical abilities at various stages in their life.  The earlier their talent is discovered, the more powerful wick they will become.  I took the name to be a derivative of magic or wiccan but I could be wrong and perhaps it is explained in a Derr book I haven’t read.  As a person or child is discovered to be a wick, then that appellation is added to their name, so Prince Hollis became Holliwick, Toki becamse Tokiwick and so on.  A wick usually has just one area of magic to work with but occasionally a wick shows up with the talent for more than just one type of magic, say wind and frost.  The swordwicks are looked down upon, they are both warrior and wick.  Somewhere in the past, a royal battle raged with one side deploying an army of swordwicks.  That battle turned swordwicks from honorable warriors into mercenaries who travel hiring out their talents to those who would pay them.  For some families to have children with swordwick abilities is an embarrassment and shame upon their name.  The wicks are trained at a central Grand Academy of Rothwick from childhood on and must conjure up a familiar as to cement their magical status.  These are the basics for all four stories, each linked to each other by characters related by lineage or linked by events to each other.

Swordwick starts off the saga with the story of Hollowick and Prince Fenwick and their unicorn familiars, Pence and Diamond.  Right off, let me say the familiars, paired up with their wicks, are as much central characters as everyone else in the stories.  They have as much individuality as the wicks themselves.  Pence and Diamond happen to be unicorn familiars and definitely have little to do with innocence and purity as a more humorously perverse pair cannot be found, to my utter enjoyment.  Hollowick’s family is ashamed that he is a swordwick and forbade him to tell anyone of his abilities.  Unfortunately, he is accompanying his sister, Willa, to her arranged marriage to the King of Draius, someone she has never met. That King just so happens to have a wick as a brother.  And Prince Fenwick?  His familiar is a unicorn just like Hollowick’s.  And all their voices can be heard by Hollowick in his head.  So not only is he lying but eavesdropping as well.  The story is told from Hollowick’s POV so you feel his shame and pain over the role he has been forced into by his family.  And once the men become friends mutually attracted to one another, his deception is compounded by his fear of discovery and the anticipated reactions of all around him.

Oddly enough, Swordwick is the story with characters, while endearing, have the least complexity to them.  Both men seems straightforward in their approach to honor and are equal in social status.  I enjoyed the story and felt that it did a great job in laying down the foundation for all the rest of the stories that follow without having its own well of pain and angst to draw from.  Hollowick has a lesser status in his family, that’s true and his parents are cold emotionally.  But the angst he feels here is caused by his own lies, even if ordered to do so and Prince Fenwick’s reaction to its discovery.  In terms of painting, it is a lovely watercolor, lacking the depth and richness of the stories that follow.

Oddwick starts our journey into stories with deeper emotional layers.  Master Tokiwick, who makes a brief appearance in Swordwick, comes full center here along with his familiar, a tiny dragon called Harlequin whose quixotic nature and flashing kaleidoscope eyes put him on equal level with Tokiwick in this reader’s affections.  Tokiwick, a charmwick, has retreated to a house deep in the woods where he lives surrounded by books, occupied by research into wick abilities and the nature of familiars.  He is this world’s idea of nerd, socially inept, living in clutter with an appearance to match.  When his friend, Hollowick, needs a magical tome translated, he sends for Tokiwick and provides for an escort in the person of Captain Roswick.  This is the story of their relationship which is gentle and hesitant in its unfolding as two uncommunicative men struggle to come together.  Thank goodness for their familiars, Harle with his inquisitive need to touch everything and Waltz, the black wolf with a wicked sense of humor who is Roswick’s companion. I loved both familiars with their patience, quiet urging, and good advice that finally brings their men together. More of the history of the Academy comes to light as well as Tokiwick’s relationship with his brother, Creawick, the Flamewick of the last story.  Here we learn of a new Academy that the Princes wish to establish and the darkness of the past histories of the wicks starts to unfold.  I loved this story in every way.  It’s lighthearted but the complex overtones are coming into play as a layer of oil paint is applied across the canvas of Wick, adding textures to the whole.

Songwick  brings the darkness that has only been hinted at into the forefront of the tale of Lyrawick and Wenwick. Wenwick, introduced in Oddwick, is a Master Professor now residing and teaching at Draius’ new Academy. He was Lyrawick’s mentor at one time. Lyrawick is a rare songwick taken from his family at the age of 5 and turned over to the  Grand Academy of Lothwick to be secretly tortured and abused until he reached his full ability and came of age.  The story opens as a bitter, somewhat hollow hearted Lyrawick has decided to take a year’s sabbatical from his teaching position at the Grand Academy  where he has lived almost his entire life.  But that plan is abandoned as his only friend, Creawick, has sabotaged the Academy’s plan to take another rare songwick away from her parents.  He fears the girl will suffer the same fate as Lyrawick and others so the wicks intervene and  Lyrawick flees with the girl to Drais and the new Academy now established there.  Prior acquaintances bring old hurts out to be examined for several of the characters we have already met and our perceptions of all involved change and evolve.

With the last two stories, all lightness vanishes as the torture of innocents and the abuse of power become the driving themes behind Lyrawick and Flamewick.  Two men, thought to be villains in previous stories, are shown from a  different perspective. Flamewick is the final, most densely layered tale of the bunch and my favorite.  Creawick is a man who most dislike, a man of passion and flashing emotions as befits a flamewick with a griffon called Brightheart as his only companion. He is central figure in many of the convoluted relationships between the wicks. While hated by most, his tortured past is slowly revealed by two wicks.  One is his friend, Lyrawick from the penultimate story.  The second person is Elawick, the healer who had to attend to him in Songwick. From their standpoint, Creawick is totally different from the man we had seen up until now.  It is through an attack on Creawick and those he cares for that brings about the final confrontation between the evil from their pasts and the group of wicks that has now banded together. From plot to characterizations, everything is on point. Now we have an oil painting of a story comprised of rich colors, dramatic brush marks, balanced in composition, a feast for the eyes in every way.  Just an outstanding story full of characters I won’t soon forget just as an oil has a much longer life than the watercolor, how ever fair it may be.

We see how true heroic natures can be hidden behind walls of pain and a twist of reference turn a memory on its head.  Songwick and Flamewick are my clear favorites here.  Brooding, dark, full of angst, revenge and redemption.  But it is Swordwick and Oddwick which lured us in and kept us occupied until the other two could take over.  Here we have Dawn before Nightfall to my amazement and joy.  Yours too if you pick up this book.

Cover:  Lainey Durand designed the simple elegant cover that works so well here.

Review of Poison (Lost Gods #4) by Megan Derr

Rating: 4.75 stars

“Nine gods ruled the world until the ultimate betrayal resulted in their destruction. Now, the world is dying and only by restoring the Lost Gods can it be saved.”

It has been two years since Ailill, the White Panther of Verde returned home from Pozhar with the jewels needed for the ceremony of The Tragedy of the Oak.  He had been poisoned on his mission there and it had taken all the skill of Gael, the mortal avatar of the Unicorn, to heal him.  Verde has been ruled by the mortal avatars of their Lost Gods, the Unicorn, the Pegasus, and The Fairy Queen killed 900 years ago at the base of the Sacred Oak.  Every 100 years, the moment comes to right the wrong but is lost and the Tragedy repeats itself. Now all of Verde waits as the time for The Tragedy of Oak grows near once more. All of Verde hope that finally, after 900 years, the ceremony will finally be completed and their human incarnations of The Unicorn, The Pegasus, and The Fairy Queen become gods again.  But someone doesn’t want that to happen and the White Beasts of Verde are being poisoned, the people of Verde are becoming crazed as their White Beasts fall, and even their three God incarnations themselves are threatened.

Gael asks Ailill to investigate the poisonings and stop the person responsible before it is too late and the Tragedy starts all over again. As the people start viciously fighting each other, Vanya arrives from Pozhar.  Once a mercenary, now a noble, he has never forgotten Ailill and has come to see if their feelings for each other are the same after a two year absence.  Ailill too has been missing his mercenary and hates the lifestyle that comes with being a White Beast of Verde.   Ailill and Vanya’s  investigation leads to old secrets kept from the White Beasts by the reincarnations themselves.  Old lies and treachery must be revealed if they are to stop The Tragedy of the Oaks from happening again.

Poison is the fourth and penultimate book in the Lost Gods series that began with Treasure.  As this incredible journey through all manner of Kingdoms and their Gods draws to a close, more of Megan Derr’s complex saga comes together as another large piece of the final puzzle is put in place.  Like one of those fabulous wooden puzzle boxes, each book puts more elements in place to solve the complete puzzle using elements and characters from each of the previous stories.

In Poison, one of my favorite characters, Ailill the White Beast of Verde becomes a central piece of the puzzle to the Tragedy of the Oak and the key necessary to open the door on the mystery of the deaths of Verde’s Gods. Previously a deliciously slutty being when we first meet him in Treasure, Ailill has evolved through all the stories, his character deepening, his gravitas, the seriousness of his mission, becoming evident even through the frivolous manner he exhibits. In Burning Bright, Iilill meets Vanya, the wolf of Pohzar, who along with his gang of mercenaries, helps Ailill recover Verde’s royal jewels.  In a short amount of time, both men strike up an affair of lust that quickly becomes something more than either ever expected to have, an affair of the heart.   Towards the end of the story, Ailill is struck down by a sorcerer of Schatten, poisoned by dark magic.  Helpless to heal him, Vanya must watch as Ailill sails for Verde and the hope for a cure from The Unicorn, Pegasus, and The Fairy Queen. Now events bring the two men back together again as the Lost Gods are returning.  This time it is the Kingdom of Verde’s Lost Gods time to be reborn and again a war is fought between Order and Chaos.  Vanya, a character I came to care about as much as Iilill, too has grown and developed since we last saw him.  All the skills he has acquired as the head of a band of mercenaries are now being employed as a Duke of the Kingdom of Pozhar to his and ours amusement.  I had hoped to see these two reunited and Derr does not disappoint here with the reclamation of their romance, their feelings for each other burning as brightly as before.  Whether Derr meant to or not, these two become the heart of the story for me and their love affair more important to me than the Gods restoration. I suspect that is part of the quibble I had with this book.

Many more characters become front and center here.  One is Noir, the Royal Voice of the Gods.  A young black panther whose deep love for Gael, the Unicorn is doomed to failure if Gael continues to keep their love secret, hidden from all at Court even from the other avatars.  Noir is endearing in his innocence and youth, a perfect foil for Gael, the mortal reincarnation of The Unicorn. Gael and his sisters, The Fairy Queen and Pegasus, rule Verde from an incestuous relationship that is taking its tole on its members.  We also meet all the other White Beasts that comprise the Court of Verde and are quickly swamped with character sketches and lightly layered beings.  After a while it was hard to keep track of cast.  Gael is perhaps the most fully realized of all of them which is not surprising as his relationship with Noir is on the same level of importance as Ailill and Vanya’s. As Noir watches the interaction and  outright displays of affection between Ailill and Vanya, the inequality of his own relationship with Gael is emphasized and Noir’s insecurities deepen.  Megan Derr does a great job with making all these relationships and their flaws seem realistic to the reader as the characters juggle their expectations with the reality of their situations as the City falls into flames as the White Beasts are poisoned.

I always keep in mind as I read each related story of the Lost Gods saga that even the smallest detail is of significance in the construction of the whole picture.  So I was dismayed that I realized who was behind the poisonings almost from the start.  It was the only person who made sense, as Vanya discovers later on in their investigation.  I also came to the right conclusion as to the methods used to conceal their identity from all the others.  That was unlike any of the other puzzles presented in the other books so I was a little stymied that I figured it out so soon.  The only thing I can come up with is that timing is everything and that it all had to happen exactly during the ceremony of The Tragedy of the Oak and Derr had planned on that character reveal early on to ramp up the anxiety and anticipation of the race to the end.  And perhaps the final piece will fall into place during Chaos, the last in the series.  It is not like her to give away plot points so easily unless she means to do it.  So color me a little confused here.  That’s my main quibble.

Don’t get me wrong, this is still an incredible book. The richness of her descriptions, the vivid portraits of the inner sanctum and gardens, the sheer grand scale of mythology building that is the Lost Gods is astounding. Was I happy and totally satisfied at the end?  Absolutely, just with some quibbles this time.  Again, the themes of sacrifice, reincarnation and forgiveness are played out but not exactly as they were before. Not all are forgiven, not all are sacrificed as the Gods return to Verde.  I suspect Derr is completing her stage upon which all the characters from all the books, along with new ones will converge in the final battle between Order and Chaos.   I cannot wait for it to start and the saga come to its convoluted end.  The Lost Gods saga is a real Treasure as I suspected from the start! Bring on the Chaos!

Cover:  Another perfect cover from London Burdon to go along with the rest of the Lost Gods saga.

Review of the Mending the Rift Series by Valentina Heart (King’s Conquest and Owner of My Heart)

Rating: 4 stars for each book

The Kingdoms of Kari and Jede have been at war for ages. When the death of Kari’s King brings about an opportunity to mend the rift between the nations, both countries jump at the chance to end the war and bring their Kingdoms casualties to a halt.  Prince Rinnen is the only son of Kari’s late King and a male capable of bearing children.  King Merinej of Jede needs an heir to carry on his lineage.  An heir with the combined bloodlines of both countries would heal the wounds left behind by the war and bring both peoples together or so the thinking goes.  But Prince Rin won’t settle for being just another “uralain” or concubine of the King’s.  Rin wants a contract stating they will be married and the King will pledge his fidelity to Rin alone or Rin will call the whole thing off no matter the price his people will pay.  Rin wants to be safe and have his place assured by the  side of Jede’s King. When King Merinej agrees to  Prince Rin’s terms, the marriage is on.

Surprises lie in wait for both men after the ceremony is finished.  Rin is far from the calculating prince Merin expects. Rin is an innocent, kept locked away in his father’s castle, ignorant of politics,  customs and sexual practices of any kind, a blushing virgin that captivates Merin with his beauty and innocence immediately.  Rin is also surprised to find that instead of a hardened warrior who treats him harshly, Merin is tender, considerate of the unschooled, virginal Prince and gently passionate in their lovemaking.  But the harsh necessities of their marriage means that Rin has to become pregnant as soon as possible and a child could mean Rin’s death in childbirth.  And not everyone is happy that their King has married one of their enemy.  An assassin lurks in the hallways of the palace, waiting for their chance to kill the Prince, even if it means the Kingdoms will be at war once more.

Valentina Heart has all the beginnings of a very interesting series here, complete with vivid characters, magic, male pregnancy and constant territorial conflict as well as assassins that constitutes a constant threat to our main characters and their children.  Each nation has a certain physical type to them.  Kari’s people of pure lines have black hair, silver eyes that proclaim their nobility, and small, lean physiques.  Jede’s warrior race is comprised of beings of large statue, huge frames of muscle, with blue hair tightly knotted and braided according to custom, brown eyes and facial markings whose patterns differ with each person.  Both nations have intermarried and half breeds are common. Each race uses magic to communicate and heal.  With relatively few facts, Heart gives us some wonderful world building.  Also interesting is the male pregnancy aspect of the stories.  In this universe, children are becoming rare as the ruling class refuses to risk itself in childbirth.  Even in the lower classes, the birth rates are falling.  Some males of Kari are able to give birth to one or more children but only at great personal risk.  Magic must be used to assist in the birth and magic must also be used to keep the “birther” or the being carrying the children from bleeding out.  This becomes problematic when only the father and birther are allowed to touch the children and each other, their magic spread so thinly between all the parties that either the children or the birther is lost.  Heart  has really worked out some unique twists to the male pregnancy subject here that really kept me engaged in that part of the storyline.  Males do not carry children like a female would.  Instead they have 3 scars on their side that accept sperm much like an incubating pouch, a neat idea that has its basis in nature here.

Another great idea is that each book is told from the POV of one of the main characters.  This brings us in close to each person and we able to feel each characters emotions and thoughts as they occur.  However, both books suffer from a “evil voice” that threatens to kill Rin and then Merin in each book.  It pops up between chapters to let us know that an assassin is on the loose who threatens the safety of our beloved Rin.  To me, this narrative took away from the main story and quite frankly seemed a little hokey.  I could have done without this device as there are other ways to let the viewer know that someone is trying to kill one or both of the main characters.

King’s Conquest (Mending the Rift #1) is told from Rin’s POV, starting with his father’s death and the Council’s proposal that he wed King Merinej.  He grabs our sympathy immediately.  We learn first hand of  his innocence that is combined with a practical, pragmatic nature which makes sense when we learn of his isolated childhood.  It is almost a necessity that we see King Merin from Rin’s viewpoint.  With his eyes, we see what the various Jede look like, including their facial patterns.  We learn about Jede customs and practices as Rin does, sometimes to his horror as the Jede don’t have problems with nudity and sexuality that the Kari have.  The relationship between Rin and Merin is handled beautifully as two strangers try to find a common ground on which to build a marriage.  All told, Heart did a great job with a story that is only 96 pages in length.

Owner of My Heart (Mending the Rift #2) is told from Merin’s POV and picks up almost immediately after the first book has ended, with Rin pregnant with their children.  This is a far more difficult book emotionally as it starts off immediately with an attack on Rin and the death of the children he was carrying.  This is not a spoiler as it is mentioned in the blurb for the book.  Even while I was expecting it, the descriptions are still heartrending as both Rin and Merin feel their children die under their hands and they are unable to save them.  Indeed, Rin almost dies himself in the process.  In the aftermath of their loss, Rin withdraws from Merin in his pain even as they must press forward to have heirs, something Merin is loathe to do as he has come to love Rin.  Heart handles this with delicacy even as our hearts break along with the couples.  Well done in every way although some will find this almost too vivid in the descriptions of what the couple and the children go through before all is lost.

In this book, there is some stilted dialog as Merin talks about “the males, the females” in a manner that did not occur in the first book and that threw me off somewhat. But outside of that example, each character has a clear and distinct voice that I appreciated.  The use of magic within the Kingdoms brings me to another quibble.  Both races use magic to communicate with, it is employed during battle and to heal.  So why not use it to determine who is trying to kill the Prince? That did not make any sense to me.  I would think that magic users would have across the board applications for it, but here its use is hit or miss, with little consistency.  A more even handed treatment as far as the use of magic would have satisfied my need for a logical implementation of magic throughout their society. Perhaps an explanation is coming in future books.  Owner of My Heart sees a growth in the relationship between Rin and Merin you would expect after some time and shared traumatic experiences would bring. And we are left at the end of 133 pages with a HFN instead of the typical HEA, a far more realistic way to leave this couple.

I am looking forward to the next in the series and hope that Heart continues with the alternating points of view.  Read these books in the order they were written.  I started with the second book to my utmost confusion and the series only made sense once I started over with King’s Conquest where most of the backstory resides.  There are many elements here that will scare people off.  Male pregnancy for one, the  death of unborn babies for another.  Both are handled here with care and a certain inventiveness.  Don’t let either put you off this series.  I can’t wait to see where the next one takes us.

Cover art by Reese Dante.  I think both covers are missed opportunities.  The vivid descriptions of the facial markings combined with blue hair and intricate braiding patterns would have been far more interesting than the torsos featured, however lovely they are (and yes, I did notice that one has the three scars for Ren).