Review: Skeleton Crew (Psycop 14) by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 4.5🌈

It’s been a while since I’d read any novels in this series but this author is one I automatically read so it seems like a good time to get back into the universe.

It’s recommended that you be familiar with the characters, their unique histories and backgrounds as well as the series as a foundation for the knowledge required here.

This is a complicated story that involves a layered plot, hidden secrets, beautifully developed mysteries, and an agonizing twist that puts all the cast in all types of imminent danger.

This along with the storyline of a escalating anxiety from main characters, Vic and Jacob, about Jacob’s nephew home alone during a violent storm while the couple who were his caregivers for the weekend find themselves in a increasingly dangerous situation. Without access to WiFi and phones.

Price does a realistic portrayal of the fears and distress both men are experiencing, for the boy and themselves because of the newness of the situation. Then there’s the horrific reality they currently face, of the dark basement and its own extreme dangers.

The scenes in the basement are some of the best in the book. Descriptively, the author is able to bring us down into that scary environment, continuing to elevate the horror and obstacles every one faces and then finally turning it into one poignant but terrifying scenario.

So well written.

And if that ending leaves you with a few chills, it should. That’s the playground for Psycop. Check out the full series to date below.

Psycop:

#1 Among the Living

#2 Criss Cross

#3 Body & Soul

#4 Secrets

#5 Camp Hell

#6 GhosTV

#7 Spook Squad

#8 Skin After Skin

#9 Agent Bayne

#10 Murder House

#11 Bitter Pill

#12 Other Half

#13 Subtle Bodies

#14 Skeleton Crew

Buy Link

Amazon.comhttps://www.amazon.com › Skelet…Skeleton Crew: PsyCop 14: Price, Jordan Castillo

Blurb

Although Victor Bayne is a valued asset of the FPMP, he still vividly recalls his PsyCop days: the eye rolls, the nasty looks, and the occasional utterance of the words “Spook Squad” whenever he showed up on a scene. So he really should empathize with Howard Jibben, the weekend lab manager known as Heebie Jeebie.

But does the guy really need to be so darn annoying?

Thanks to the researcher’s OCD tendencies, when a mysterious shipment arrives, what should be a routine ghost-check turns into an excruciating ordeal…made even worse by a freak incident that leaves them stranded in the FPMP’s basement.

Jacob may be the ranking agent on site, but even he can’t control the weather. Yet given the pressure he puts on himself to master his newfound ability, it’s as if he thinks the burden to free everyone is his alone.

Vic has never put much stock in luck, but the sheer number of disasters raining down on them can’t possibly be pure chance—and things are only getting worse. Is it a curse? Telekinesis? Sabotage?

Or is there something more sinister lurking in the shadows?

PsyCop is an ongoing series filled with supernatural action and delightfully awkward humor–with a steady undercurrent of gay romance. It’s best read in order, so if you’re new to the series, start with PsyCop #1, Among the Living…and prepare for a hauntingly good read.

• Publisher: JCP Books (May 20, 2024)

• Publication date: May 20, 2024

• Language: English

• Print length: 302 pages

PSYCOP SERIES
#1: Among the Living
What good is being a psychic detective if your murder victims aren’t talking?

#2: Criss Cross
Mysterious messages from Lisa lead Vic on a wild ride.

#3: Body & Soul
Three missing people. No bodies. No ghosts. At least the case gets Vic out of an awkward family dinner.

#4: Secrets
Is someone watching Vic’s every move, or is he imagining things? Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

#5: Camp Hell
Vic delves into his repressed memories of Camp Hell and dredges up more than he bargained for.

#6: GhosTV
Lisa’s gone missing, and Vic and Jacob head to PsyTrain for some answers.

#7: Spook Squad
Victor has been avoiding the exorcism he owes the FPMP. Now it’s time to pay up.

#8: Skin After Skin
A sweeping look at the PsyCop series from Crash’s empathic point of view

#9: Agent Bayne
Victor might be through with the Chicago PD, but is he ready for the FPMP?

#10 Murder House
An undercover gig turns up more than Vic ever imagined.

#11 Bitter Pill
There’s a deadly new drug in town called Kick…and psychs find it irresistible

#12 Other Half
A wedding is stressful enough without a psychic investigation to power through

#13 Subtle Bodies (PsyCop Book 13)

#14 Skeleton Crew

Review: Present Tense (The ABC’s of Spellcraft Book 8) by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating:5🌈

Yuri and Dixon and the rest of their family are back in this absolutely adorable, perfect short story by Jordan Castillo Price.

The ABC’s of Spellcraft is a series that just gets better with each new chapter in Yuri and Dixon’s lives. Here they are scrambling to get each other’s gifts at Christmas, with all the glorious events you might imagine, including drama and the magic!

It ends appropriately with another move forward in their relationship and a HFN. And the realization for me that this is a series for every season for the excellent writing and fabulous characters.

I’m recommending this and the series. It’s magical ride! Binge read for your pleasure!

The ABC’s of Spellcraft series:

✓ Quill Me Now #1

✓ Trouble in Taco Town #2

✓ Something Stinks at the Spa #3

✓ Dead Man’s Quill #4

✓ Last But Not Lease #5

✓ Don’t Rock The Boardwalk #6

✓ What The Frack? #7

✓ Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas short #8

◦ Brownie Points #9

◦ Forging Ahead #10

◦ Mayor May Not #11

◦ Bucket List #12

◦ Comic Sans #13

◦ It’s All Relative #14

Buy Link:

Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas Short (The ABCs of Spellcraft Book 8)

Blurb

Christmas is a festive time of year, one filled with food, family and tradition—Dixon Penn’s ideal holiday. Too bad Spellcrafters don’t celebrate Christmas.

Dixon’s parents have always been strict about their no-present rule, reluctant to entrap anyone in an “endless cycle of reciprocal obligation.”

Yuri Volnikov was not raised in the Craft, but Dixon has made sure he understands that for Spellcrafters, Christmas presents are verboten.

No gifts. None. Nada. And everyone is on the same page in regards to presents….

Or are they?

The ABCs of Spellcraft is a series filled with bad jokes and good magic, where MM Romance meets Paranormal Cozy. A perky hero, a brooding love interest, and delightfully twisty-turny stories that never end up quite where you’d expect. The books are best read in order, so be sure to start at the beginning with Quill Me Now.

This holiday short is set after What the Frack? and contains series spoilers.

Review: What The Frack? (The ABC’s of Spellcraft Book 7) by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 4.5🌈

Well, this was tons of explosive fun! While a bit short on the personal relationship between the main couple, Price delivers hugely on the big epic elements!

Mysterious goings on! Dastardly corporate underhanded doings! A town and family in danger! Yes to the exclamation marks! The story cries out for it! But all the weirdness, the historical drama, and even stranger strangers that show up as Pinyan Bay is under attack is the stuff that makes Yuri and Dixon jump to investigate!

Love the twists, the Indiana Jones atmosphere at times, and the enlargement of the world building here.

All around a terrific story. And don’t forget to read the author’s notes at the end. They are as enjoyable and interesting as the story.

I’m recommending this and the series. It’s magical ride! Binge read for your pleasure!

The ABC’s of Spellcraft series:

✓ Quill Me Now #1

✓ Trouble in Taco Town #2

✓ Something Stinks at the Spa #3

✓ Dead Man’s Quill #4

✓ Last But Not Lease #5

✓ Don’t Rock The Boardwalk #6

✓ What The Frack? #7

◦ Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas short #8

◦ Brownie Points #9

◦ Forging Ahead #10

◦ Mayor May Not #11

◦ Bucket List #12

◦ Comic Sans #13

◦ It’s All Relative #14

Buy Link:

What the Frack? (The ABCs of Spellcraft Book 7)

Description:

It’s all fun and games until something blows up.

Thanks to the recent explosion in Pinyin Bay, most of its residents got out while the getting was good. Not Dixon Penn. He grew up there, and from the power plant to the strip malls, the city is full of fond memories. But if the mysterious corporation that bought up the shoreline doesn’t stop drilling, memories may soon be all that remain.

Yuri Volnikov is finally fitting in. He crossed an ocean to find a loving home with Dixon. Now, that home is threatened. And he won’t give it up without a fight.

The drilling has attracted plenty of attention. While a harebrained reporter covers the scene, a traveling geologist shows up who might shed some light on the situation. He’ll need all the light he can get, since he can hardly see three feet in front of his own face.

Whoever is digging up the shore, they’re using Spellcraft to exploit every possible loophole so no one can put a stop to their operations. Can Dixon and Yuri defuse the Craftings before Pinyin Bay goes up in smoke?

Review: Last But Not Lease (The ABC’s of Spellcraft Book 5) by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 3.5🌈

With Uncle Fonzo’s return and an eviction notice on Yuri’s cabin door, things are getting cramped at the Penn house, when Dixon and Yuri move back in.

The extremely tight quarters are exacerbated by Dixon’s sudden arrival and his cousin’s new boyfriend. House hunting is a must.

But as with everything, that’s when things start getting interesting and going awry. Magically.

Price has so much fun with the awful flats and descriptions thereof that Yuri and Dixon visit in hopes of finding their own place. She’s says in her author’s notes they reflect some actual places that she saw or lived in in her life. Oh my!

The hunt for a place bit here got a bit lost in the shuffle of the story. Unusual for the author. It felt a bit muddled instead of a clear picture of magic going wrong.

But it ends well and with the usual path to the next book.

These are such enjoyable books and the couple just continues to grow in their relationship and surrounding family.

I’m recommending this and the series as far as I’ve read. It’s great ride! Binge read for your pleasure!

The ABC’s of Spellcraft series:

✓ Quill Me Now #1

✓ Trouble in Taco Town #2

✓ Something Stinks at the Spa #3

✓ Dead Man’s Quill #4

✓ Last But Not Lease #5

◦ Don’t Rock The Boardwalk #6

◦ What The Frack? #7

◦ Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas short #8

◦ Brownie Points #9

◦ Forging Ahead #10

◦ Mayor May Not #11

◦ Bucket List #12

◦ Comic Sans #13

◦ It’s All Relative #14

Buy Link:

Last But Not Lease (The ABCs of Spellcraft Book 5)

Description:

Location, Location, Location!

Yuri knew his idyllic beachfront cabin wouldn’t last forever—but he wasn’t expecting to come home to an eviction notice. And with Uncle Fonzo back in town, Dixon’s attic apartment is getting crowded.

Unfortunately, real estate in Pinyin Bay is surprisingly scarce. Good thing there’s an up-and-coming crowdsourced experience called Hunting Party that really moves the needle on the traditional rental acquisition model.

Okay, it really is as obnoxious as it sounds. But rentals are so few and far between, Dixon and Yuri are willing to give it a shot.

Pitted against a group of apartment hunters, the guys must compete with the other hopefuls to land a new place. It’s clearly all just a cheesy sales ploy, and the apartments they view are real dumps.

And yet…they’re also oddly appealing.

Since all the rentals are in the falling-down neighborhood known as Scrivener Village, it stands to reason Spellcraft is involved. But when exposing the magic could leave Dixon and Yuri without a roof over their heads, can they really afford to be so picky?

Review: Dead Man’s Quill (The ABC’s of Spellcraft Book 4) by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 4.75🌈:

Finally, finally, Dixon and Yuri catch up to the missing Uncle Fonzo! In a story that will finish Uncle Fonzo’s arc and start the couple off on a new adventure, Dead Man’s Quill picks up where the last book ended, with a surprise phone call from Uncle Fonzo!

Dixon and Yuri have been in pursuit of Uncle Fonzo since they uncovered the events that led to Dixon’s failed exam, and their family’s poor financial situation. That it all started with Uncle Fonzo and his disappearance.

Since then they’ve been chasing him from town to town but never catching him. Now mysteriously, Uncle Fonzo wants to meet up.

Price gives Fonzo , Dixon, and Yuri a whopping great yarn of a tale here and it needs to be for all the themes involved. Fonzo has betrayed the Handed, he caused Dixon to fail his exam with all the damage that followed, no matter that he was tricked, he knew better. So there’s much to make amends for. And Dixon has never been able to admit exactly how angry he is at the one man who he has thought of as his father, and who betrayed him. He’s ignored those emotions and the thoughts behind them. And for Yuri, there’s a barrel of issues that Fonzo represents, a reason not to trust, a family member not to accept, and more.

All that wrapped up in a magical, somewhat darkish story of redemption, remuneration, and family. It’s a fabulous story, even better when you know how short it is.

Love those twins too. One slight thing, vulture feathers don’t a plume make. I should know. Straight and stiff as can be. Nothing plummy about them.

Other than that, perfect.

I’m highly recommending this and the series as far as I’ve read. It’s fantastic! Binge read for your pleasure!

The ABC’s of Spellcraft series:

✓ Quill Me Now #1

✓ Trouble in Taco Town #2

✓ Something Stinks at the Spa #3

✓ Dead Man’s Quill #4

◦ Last But Not Lease #5

◦ Don’t Rock The Boardwalk #6

◦ What The Frack? #7

◦ Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas short #8

◦ Brownie Points #9

◦ Forging Ahead #10

◦ Mayor May Not #11

◦ Bucket List #12

◦ Comic Sans #13

◦ It’s All Relative #14

Buy Link:

Dead Man’s Quill (The ABCs of Spellcraft Book 4)

Description:

It’s all fun and games until someone loses a hand.

Dixon has been dying to introduce Yuri to Uncle Fonzo, the Hand of his family, and now he’ll finally get that chance. All they need to do is meet him at a traveling carnival with an unused piece of Spellcraft.

Easy peasy, right?

Not even a little. And even worse, they might encounter a clown.

Uncle Fonzo has left a trail of magical destruction in his wake, but he claims he’s been helping people. Spellcrafters are a slippery bunch, and it’s hard to say if he’s stretching the truth or telling an outright lie. One thing’s for sure, he’s between a rock and a hard place now, and if he doesn’t deliver an outrageous ransom to Strange Manor by midnight, all deals are off.

From a lackluster carnival with a booby-trapped tour bus to the decrepit mausoleum behind an old mental asylum, the Spellcraft leads Dixon and Yuri on a goose chase that’s not only wild…but deadly.

Review: Something Stinks at the Spa (The ABC’s of Spellcraft Book 3) by Jordan Castillo Price

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Rating: 4.5🌈:

In Book 3 of The ABC’s of Spellcraft series by Jordan Castillo Price, Something Stinks at the Spa, our main couple, Dixon and Yuri , are continuing their search for Dixon’s magical wayward Uncle Fonzo.

A seemingly focus of chaos wherever he lands, Uncle Fonzo is yet to be revealed as either a villain or a hero. Or something interestingly in between.

Here he’s been traced to Spring Falls Hot Spring Spa, so Dixon and Yuri speed over from their last town to see if they can catch him.

Magical hijinks, more couple bonding, and lots of humor follow! Both men continue to grow further into their roles as Scriveners and Seers. Apart and as partners. Each story finds them exploring new possibilities for their magical abilities and the mysteries manage to challenge the pair , strengthening their skills as they finish each event.

Next up, maybe Uncle Fonzo!

I’m recommending this and the highly entertaining series.

The ABC’s of Spellcraft series:

✓ Quill Me Now #1

✓ Trouble in Taco Town #2

✓ Something Stinks at the Spa #3

◦ Dead Man’s Quill #4

◦ Last But Not Lease #5

◦ Don’t Rock The Boardwalk #6

◦ What The Frack? #7

◦ Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas short #8

◦ Brownie Points #9

◦ Forging Ahead #10

◦ Mayor May Not #11

◦ Bucket List #12

◦ Comic Sans #13

◦ It’s All Relative #14

Buy Link:

Something Stinks at the Spa (The ABCs of Spellcraft Book 3)

Description:

Mineral spas are so calm and relaxing…unless they smell like a derrière at a bean-lover’s convention, that is!

Dixon and Yuri have a hot tip that Uncle Fonzo is taking the waters at Spring Falls Hot Spring Spa. Not only is the spring stinky enough to make your eyes water—but the foul odor reaches peak level just as the resort is gearing up for a visit from an important critic that will make or break its reputation.

Normally, this wouldn’t be Dixon’s problem…except that it appears that a piece of his uncle’s Spellcraft might be responsible. He can’t be entirely sure, though, since that particular slip of paper managed to go through the shredder.

Dixon and Yuri pitch in to help the spa’s owner appease a jilted bride, an obnoxious businessman, and the world’s most boring critic while they scramble to reconstruct the shredded Spellcraft. Can they fix the wonky spell before it does any permanent damage? Or will all their efforts at saving the spa end up swirling down the drain?

Review: Trouble in Taco Town (The ABC’s of Spellcraft Book 2) by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 4.5🌈

Trouble in Taco Town proved to be an even more enjoyable romp than the first episode into The ABC’s of Spellcraft!

After the shutting down the nefarious greeting shop and dealing with its despicable owner, Dixon and Yuri are sent off on another adventure when a postcard is received from the missing Uncle Fonzo.

Soon they are off to Taco Town, Minnesota , a place where everywhere you look something is going wrong and a certain missing Uncle seems to be at the heart of it.

I really found myself getting into this story and the relationship of this couple a lot more than I did in the first book. Yuri, for one, is more accessible with his thoughts and feelings, which lets the reader connect with him. And Dixon has grown in his abilities without losing his sense of joy and enthusiasm in obtaining his magic.

Price does an excellent job with these characters, and others, in such a short amount of narrative space. I can say the same with the excellent work done with the complex storyline.

Simple on the surface, less so underneath. I started out on Yuri’s side, getting frustrated with Dixon’s inability to accept the facts before him. I do love it when things surprise me.

Does this leave you with questions, yes. But it does so with Dixon and Yuri too. Perhaps that part of the overall arc thread.

It’s a quick, imaginative, wonderful read. Now I’m onto the next.

Definitely recommending this!

The ABC’s of Spellcraft series:

✓ Quill Me Now #1

✓ Trouble in Taco Town #2

◦ Something Stinks at the Spa #3

◦ Dead Man’s Quill #4

◦ Last But Not Lease #5

◦ Don’t Rock The Boardwalk #6

◦ What The Frack? #7

◦ Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas short #8

◦ Brownie Points #9

◦ Forging Ahead #10

◦ Mayor May Not #11

◦ Bucket List #12

◦ Comic Sans #13

◦ It’s All Relative #14

Buy Link:

Trouble in Taco Town (The ABCs of Spellcraft Book 2)

Description:

Road trip!

When Dixon and Yuri head for Taco Town, they’re hoping to track down Uncle Fonzo. What they find instead is a fiasco. Is it sabotage? A curse? Or is it just a bunch of badly worded Spellcraft?

The small Minnesota berg is a tourist destination featuring a memorable roadside attraction: The Big Taco. It’s not actually edible, but there’s a flock of birds passing through that never got the memo.

One thing’s for sure, Fonzo has been there. Not only do plenty of folks recognize his photo, but they paid him to solve certain problems…all of which are now exponentially worse. Dixon wants to chalk it up to a run of bad luck. Yuri knows a con man when he sees one, and while he doesn’t relish the thought of destroying Dixon’s hero, he wouldn’t mind knocking the guy down a few pegs.

But there’s definitely something screwy about the Spellcraft they uncover. And they’d better figure out how to repair it before the Big Taco is reduced to crumbs—and with it, the livelihood of all their new friends.

Review: Quill Me Now (The ABC’s of Spellcraft Book 1) by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 4🌈

Quill Me Now is a short first story that introduces the reader to a new world and series by Jordan Castillo Price. Urban fantasy that immediately lets us into the urban setting we’re familiar with, given a magical twist. Late food and bad service due not to service gone wrong but because of a magical signage done poorly.

That seems legit somehow. And twin brother and sister trying to hold onto a magical family business but grappling with debt.

The magic is divided into two groups. Scriveners and Seers. Scriveners create spells with words, and the skill is genetic. The other side is the Seer, they paint a magical picture. Non magical people are called Handless.

Into this world, there’s Dixon Penn, of the well known Penn Scriveners family only he failed his test.

The story is about Dixon’s plight to be a Scriveners, the job he finds, the mysterious Russian Yuri he meets, and the trouble they get into.

It’s fun, with some magic, mystery, and the beginnings of romance. It could use some more world building and magical information but it’s a fairly long series now so I expect to see more of it as I get into the books.

But definitely a cute, quirky paranormal read and one I’m recommending.

The ABC’s of Spellcraft series:

✓ Quill Me Now #1

◦ Trouble in Taco Town #2

◦ Something Stinks at the Spa #3

◦ Dead Man’s Quill #4

◦ Last But Not Lease #5

◦ Don’t Rock The Boardwalk #6

◦ What The Frack? #7

◦ Present Tense: A Spellcraft Christmas short #8

◦ Brownie Points #9

◦ Forging Ahead #10

◦ Mayor May Not #11

◦ Bucket List #12

◦ Comic Sans #13

◦ It’s All Relative #14

Buy Link:

Quill Me Now (The ABCs of Spellcraft Book 1)

Description:

What if the words you wrote came true?

Spellcraft isn’t exactly a respectable business, but it does pay the bills. At least, it should. Unfortunately, Dixon Penn failed his Spellcraft initiation. Instead of working in his family’s shop, he’s stuck delivering takeout orders in his uncle’s beat-up Buick.

Winning a Valentine’s Day contest at the largest greeting card company in the tri-state area would be just the thing to get his life back on track—but something at Precious Greetings just doesn’t add up. And despite numerous warnings to quit pestering them about his contest entry, he simply can’t stop himself from coming back again and again.

It doesn’t hurt that the head of security is such a hottie. If Dixon had any common sense, he’d be scared of the big, mysterious, tattooed Russian.

To be fair, no one ever accused him of being too smart….

Quill Me Now originally debuted in the Bad Valentine collection, along with Love Magic by Jesi Lea Ryan, Hidden Hearts by Clare London, and Temporary Dad by Dev Bentham.

A Free Dreamer Review: The Starving Years by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

The Starving Years right cover Imagine a world without hunger. In 1960, a superfood was invented that made starvation a thing of the past. Manna, the cheaply manufactured staple food, is now as ubiquitous as salt in the world’s cupboards, pantries and larders.

Nelson Oliver knows plenty about manna. He’s a food scientist—according to his diploma, that is. Lately, he’s been running the register at the local video rental dive to scrape together the cash for his exorbitantly priced migraine medication.

In a job fair gone bad, Nelson hooks up with copywriter Javier and his computer-geek pal Tim, who whisks them away from the worst of the fiasco in his repurposed moving truck. At least, Nelson thinks those two are acquainted, but they’re acting so evasive about it, he’s not sure how they know each other, exactly.

Javier is impervious to Nelson’s flirting, and Tim’s name could appear in the dictionary under the entry for “awkward.” And with a riot raging through Manhattan and yet another headache coming on, it doesn’t seem like Nelson will get an answer anytime soon. One thing’s for sure, the tension between the three of them is thick enough to cut with a knife…even one of those dull plastic dealies that come in the package with Mannariffic EZ-Mealz.

When reading the blurb for this book, I’d hoped for a well-developed dystopian story that happens to have gay MCs. Unfortunately, the story didn’t quite live up to my hopes.

The thing that bothered me the most was the severe lack of world building. There’s manna, some sort of artificial food thing. Almost everybody eats that stuff instead of real food. We never do find out why this became so popular, nor do we find out what it’s made of or how it is produced. That’s a real shame, because the concept was certainly very interesting.

Another thing was the whole thing about a man “putting his mark” on a (pregnant) woman. It seems to be a big deal and very important and yet we never learn the how and the why. Apparently not having a father for your child is a huge thing in this society, but the author failed to explain why.

Overall, the story could have used a bit more depth. All three MCs were thinking with their dicks a little too much for my taste. And the love was a bit too insta for me. But at least the sex was hot.

All three MCs had an interesting past. They could have used a bit more depth too, though.

The plot was engaging and a nice change from your run of the mill m/m romance plot. There actually was a real plot here. Some revelations were a bit foreseeable but overall I definitely wasn’t bored.

All in all, “The Starving Years” had a little too much romance for me and too little actual depth and world building. The plot and the MCs were interesting though, and I felt well entertained.

If you’re looking for M/M romance with a bit of a dystopian feel to it, you’ll probably enjoy this more than I did, since I’d hoped for a solid dystopia with a bit of romance.

Cover: The cover by Jordan Castillo Price shows a man with duct tape over his mouth. Judging by the cover alone, I’d almost expect a BDSM story. I don’t think I would have checked this out, if I hadn’t seen an edition with a different cover first.

Sales Links: Amazon

Book details:

ebook, 286 pages
Published March 5th 2012 by JCP Books LLC (first published March 3rd 2012)
ISBN139781935540434
Edition LanguageEnglish
URLhttp://jordancastilloprice.com/starvingyears/index.html settingNew York (United States)

A Free Dreamer Review: Hemovore by Jordan Castillo Price

Rating: 2 stars out of 5

Can art imitate death? Oh no, girlfriend. Don’t even go there…

Ten years ago, the Human Hemovore Virus blazed through the world, and left the few victims who survived unable to eat, allergic to sunlight and craving the taste of blood.

Mark Jensen used to think V-positives were incredibly sexy with their pale, flawless skin and taut, lean bodies. Not anymore. Not since he’s been stuck procuring under-the-counter feline blood for his control-freak boss, Jonathan Varga. Why cat blood? Mark has never dared to ask.

It’s not as if he’s usually at a loss for words. He can dish an insult and follow it with a snap as quick as you can say “Miss Thang”. But one look at Jonathan’s black-as-sin gypsy eyes, and Mark’s objections drain away.

So he endures their strange, endless routine: Jonathan hiding in his studio, painting solid black canvases. Mark hurling insults as he buffs the office to a shine with antiviral wipes and maps out the mysterious “routes” he’s required to drive.

Then a blurb in Art in America unleashes a chain of events neither of them saw coming. As secrets of Jonathan’s past come to light, it becomes clear all his precautions weren’t nearly enough.

I picked up Hemovore by Jordan Castillo Price in the hopes of a creepy Halloween read. Sadly, I was very, very disappointed.

The premise sounds intriguing: Vampires aren’t some sort of mythical creatures. Vampirism is an illness that can’t be cured. Either you die or you turn into a vampire. That’s definitely a unique idea I haven’t come across before. But that’s pretty much the only positive thing I have to say about this book.

First of all, I simply hated Mark. He was a whiny snob and was convinced everybody around him was either a homophobe, a vampire hater or both. When he’s forced into hiding, he whines about the cheap clothes he’s forced to wear. No more hand tailored suits for poor, poor Mark. Imagine the horror! It was comments like that that made me instantly dislike him. He was a bit of a homophobe himself. His constant obsession with looking like a “sissy” or a “drama queen” or an “overly dramatic queer” got annoying very fast.

He’s also one hell of a lousy friend. He forgot to give his new number to his best friend. Whoops. Oh well, everything’s right as rain once he calls him for the first time in two years. Yay for friendship! The best friend was annoying too, but he didn’t get much screen time, so it was okay.

At one point, Mark complains that Jonathan didn’t tell him he’s gay and that he doesn’t behave the way a gay man is supposed to. It’s totally unfair of Jonathan to keep Mark guessing about his sexuality. Now, with a comment like that, I’d expected Mark to be out and proud. But apparently he’s not. Eventually we learn he hasn’t even told his family. So what right does he have to complain about Jonathan not being out and proud?

Mark is supposed to be forty. He doesn’t act like it. If we didn’t get the constant reminder that being forty meant getting fat and unfit and wrinkles and generally being ugly, I would’ve said he’s a teenager. Early twenties, at the most.

Then there’s a romance part. I totally get that Mark has a crush on the mysterious, sexy artist guy. Who wouldn’t? But where do Jonathan’s feelings suddenly come from? I’m supposed to believe he’s been secretly in love with Mark all these years? But he’s a poor, tortured artist, so he could never act on those feelings. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget that vampirism is highly contagious. So no sex for those two!

What I really didn’t understand was why Mark worked for Jonathan in the first place. I mean, he’s incredibly paranoid about becoming v-positive himself. I would be, too, considering 85% of the infected die before they turn into vampires. But if it is so incredibly contagious, I have a hard time believing Mark didn’t catch it before now. Hell, I wonder how ANYBODY was still v-negative in this world. We never get an explanation as to how and why Mark started working for Jonathan. It seems like an unusual job for me. Maybe he just needed money to buy made-to-measure suits. Who knows?

There wasn’t much of a plot either. First, we get Mark pining and drooling over Jonathan. Then, stuff happens and they’re constantly running and hiding. We also get some more of Mark pining and drooling and whining. And doing absolutely mundane things like eating pizza (and whining because he’s used to better things) and pitying the people who aren’t filthy rich like him. Those poor people can only afford two small fridges! The horror!

There were a few big “mysteries” that weren’t very mysterious after a couple of pages. Only Jonathan and Mark were too dumb to figure it all out.

The ending was too easy for me. Everything just kind of smoothed out naturally and the two of them get their cheesy HEA. The friend from the beginning of the book is forgotten once more and the famous Aunt Trixie doesn’t get a call that her favourite nephew is doing fine. Mark is too busy being all lovey-dovey with Jonathan, so that’s understandable.

To sum it up, I really, really didn’t like this book. It earned more than a few eye rolls and annoyed sighs. I hated Mark, the plot was boring and the romance didn’t make much sense. The potential of the world made me tack on a second star. To be fair, it might just be me being weird again, since every other reviewer I’ve come across seems to have loved this book. I absolutely can’t relate.

The cover by Kanaxa is well done and conveys a bit of the mystery that was missing in the book itself.

Sales Links: Samhain Publishing | All Romance (ARe) | Amazon | Buy It Here

Book Details:

ebook, 1st Edition, 197 pages

Published July 28th 2009 by Samhain Publishing (first published July 2009)

original title Hemovore

ISBN 1605046345 (ISBN13: 9781605046341)

edition language English

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