Tag: coming out story

In the Author Spotlight: Jim Provenzano

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spotlight on booksMessage of Love cover

ScatteredThoughtsandRogueWords is happy to host Jim Provenzano today, talking about his latest release, Message of Love, the sequel to the Lambda Literary Award winning, Every Time I Think of You.

Giveaway:  Jim has brought with him a Kindle ebook copy of Every Time I Think of You to give away today along with a copy of Message of Love to a 2nd winner.  To enter to win, leave a comment below as well as your email address so you can be contacted. We would also appreciate it if you left your Amazon email address in the body of the comment to make it easier to send the book to you as it is a Kindle edition.  Contest closes 4/19. Thanks.

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Getting It Right, the Second Time Around

by Jim Provenzano

When I started writing my fourth novel Every Time I Think of You, the first few chapters came to me in a dream in January 2011. I’d already had a few other novels nearly completed, but the story of Reid and Everett basically took over my life.Every Time I Think Of You

After finishing it in early December of that year, I agreed with the almost unanimous suggestion of friends who had read early drafts, and cut an epilogue where Reid and Everett are living ‘happily ever after’ as college roommates in Philadelphia. I realized that the last chapter was actually a draft treatment for a sequel. What happens after the rush of romance concludes with the blossoming of love? Well, a lot happens.

In the sequel, Message of Love, Reid and Everett attend separate universities in Philadelphia. While Everett’s studies focus on politics and world affairs, Reid remains devoted to his Forestry studies. And while the symbolic aspect of the City of Brotherly Love offers new adventures for them, the urban environs tests their relationship, and in particular, Reid’s once heartfelt passion for nature.

I prepared for my new novel, Message of Love, with funds generated from a small yet successful 2012 Kickstarter project. The week before attending the Lambda Literary Awards in New York City, where Every Time I Think of You won the Lammy for Gay Romance, I spent a week in Philadelphia. Combining my journalism experience with a bit of adventurous tourism, I researched the campuses, the city and Fairmont Park, where most scenes are set.

I also spent several days in the archives at both Temple University, the University of Pennsylvania, and at the Philadelphia Public Library, where I scanned issues of the Philadelphia Gay News, converting page after page into saved PDFs. I even found a house where the fictional version of an apartment would become their home.

Numerous personal interviews with current and former Philadelphia and Greensburg residents, and graduates of Penn and Temple, led to an insightful perspective on the novel’s setting. Sometimes a single detail or correction would lead to an entire chapter revision. But what surprised me were how often real-life events aligned with the story I had already outlined.

I spent months researching the disability issues relating to Everett’s experience, both from the perspective of a paraplegic and someone who loves him. Personal interviews with wheelchair users led to new insights into their daily lives.

As a former professional dancer, one of the most inspirational aspects came from other dancers. Like my first novel, PINS, about high school wrestlers, I took my own physical experience as a sort of muscle memory. By watching and talking with a wonderfully talented dancer and a choreographer from the Oakland, California AXIS Dance Company, I was able to feel and visualize the practicality and athleticism of a young active paraplegic.

But with a specific time frame, thirty years ago, I didn’t have the advantage of relying on contemporary aspects of disability. I bought several books from that era, specific to the limitations of the early 1980s, before the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed, and before most sidewalks and buildings were made accessible.

As with Every Time I Think of You, the story is written from Reid’s point of view and his attempts to comprehend and understand Everett’s challenges. Despite being a pair of romance novels, I worked within the popular genre while crafting a decidedly new approach. I also read many gay and straight romance books with disabled characters. Some of them were touching and sweet. Some were uninformed and misguided.

But at the same time, while I endeavored to ‘get it right’ about such a relationship, I kept asking myself, ‘Is this a Romance?’ Reid and Everett are already boyfriends. The quest of finding love has been achieved. Their new challenge is to sustain their love through some separation. Veering from the standard romance, they live together for most of the story.

With the advantage of having already established the love between Reid and Everett, I faced new challenges with an historic time and urban setting, placed against the encroaching threat of a plague.

Many contemporary romances quickly dispense with AIDS and other difficult issues, and that’s fine. That is the decision of other authors, to make a fun, sexy escapist story. But having set this sequel after the ‘halcyon’ days of the late 1970s, when being gay wasn’t a big problem in some communities, the sequel would have to deal with realities of the era in which I came of age; infidelity, identity, and the growing, then unnamed, epidemic.

A major symbol, a small evergreen tree, served as an actual gift in Every Time I Think of You. For Message of Love, a single ivy leaf, used on the book’s cover, becomes a significant gift of apology in a crucial moment when Everett and Reid’s relationship is at its most fragile. Yet Everett’s life as a paraplegic is not a mere metaphor, but a realistic aspect of his life that’s given a thorough focus.

In the first book, the two young men’s time together is sporadic and passionate. In the sequel, their extended time together offers a new perspective on moving beyond the initial rush of first love, and growing toward a stronger form based on trust.

This four-year ‘distraction’ has led to creating two of the most endearing characters I’ve created. I really grew to love these guys, and I hope readers will, too.
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Author Bio:

Jim Provenzano is the author of the novels PINS, Monkey Suits, Cyclizen, the 2012 Lambda Literary Award-winning Every Time I Think of You, its sequel Message of Love, and the stage adaptation of PINS.

A journalist in LGBT media for two decades, and the guest curator of Sporting Life, the world’s first gay athletics exhibit, he also wrote the syndicated Sports Complex column for ten years. Currently the Assistant Arts Editor at the Bay Area Reporter, he also edits its weekly BARtab nightlife section.

For more information on Jim Provenzano’s books, visit

Watch the book trailer, which features a performance of Dudley Saunders singing “Message of Love,” the title song (by The Pretenders), and enjoy the companion video playlists for Message of Love, Every Time I Think of You and PINS on Jim Provenzano’s YouTube channel:

 

 

 

 

 

Review: Christmas Kitsch by Amy Lane

Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Christmas Kitsch coverOn the outside Rusty Baker might look like just another stereotypical football player, just one of many in his high school that looked as though they were popped out of a mold for tall, big, blond rich boys.  But on the inside Rusty is different, a difference that remains hidden until Oliver Campbell, small, dark and out Oliver Campbell, enrolls in his high school and sits next to Rusty in class. When one of the more brutish football players starts in on Oliver in class, Rusty is there to cut him off, making his protection of Oliver clear to all.  A close friendship is started, one Rusty doesn’t understand.  Because Rusty suffers from poor self esteem and thinks he is stupid. Rusty can’t understand why the cute and highly intelligent Oliver would want to be his friend.  Then the day before Rusty is to leave for Berkeley, Oliver kisses him and everything changes for them both.

The hardest thing Rusty ever had to do was leave Oliver behind going to a community college while Rusty left town for a school he knew he wasn’t ready for and couldn’t survive in.  Rusty is under a mountain of stress over everything, from grades to his sexuality and the pressure almost does him in. When Rusty returns home for Thanksgiving, it all explodes when his parents catch him kissing Oliver in the driveway and they kick him out, homeless at the holidays.

While Oliver and his dad may not have material wealth, they are rich in acceptance and love.  And with their support and Oliver’s love, Rusty just might make it through not only the holidays but the rest of his life.

In Rusty Baker Amy Lane has created one of the most luminous, heartbreaking characters I have ever read.  Ten pages into the story I started weeping over this glorious man child who has been made to feel stupid and inadequate for all his years, promptly forgetting that Rusty exists only in the pages of Christmas Kitsch and the fertile imagination of Amy Lane.  Told from Rusty’s point of view, his thoughts and feelings (as well as the manner in which Rusty voices his views that shows just how deep his lack of self esteem is) engage the reader so throughly that you forget about everything around you except for Rusty and his halting path through life.

Trust me when I say that just when you think that Rusty can’t break your heart anymore, then he says something  that seems innocuous on the surface but is so shattering in the truth that it reveals that you find yourself breaking down yet again, grabbing for that second box of tissues while realizing that you are only on page 60 or so of a 256 page story.  Rusty Baker is so incandescent in his innocence and beauty that I almost expected the pages to glow.  He is textured, and glorious and unforgettable in every way.

But Rusty can’t make it alone, either in life or in the story.  So the author has created a group of characters every bit as remarkable and amazing as Rusty himself, starting with Oliver Campbell.  Oliver really is Rusty’s polar opposite from quick intelligence to his physical exterior.  Oliver’s mixed race parentage is evident not only in his name but in his small stature, dark eyes and skin. Equally rich is the latin culture which overlays everything at home from his family’s food to their family rituals.  Oliver is highly intelligent, generous of spirit and out about his sexuality.  This is our and Rusty’s first introduction to Oliver:

Oliver showed up in early September of my senior year, slender, brown on brown on brown. Dark brown hair cut with long bangs around his narrow face, dark brown eyes with thick, thick lashes, and light brown skin. He slouched quietly in the back of Mr. Rochester’s English Literature class and eyed the rest of us with sort of a gentle amusement.

It’s that “gentle amusement” that draws Rusty in as well as Oliver’s acceptance of him no matter what  Rusty might say or the way he struggles with everything in his life.  Oliver is there to quietly shore Rusty up, giving him a look at families who love and support each other with a generosity Rusty has never had in his life.  There is a quiet glow to Oliver that is never outshown by Rusty, they complement each other perfectly. I love Oliver and Oliver’s amazing dad, Arturo, both so alive that I absolutely believed in them as a family.  And that goes for Estrella, Rusty’s housekeeper and surrogate mom, as well as Nicole, Rusty’s young sister just as starved for love and family as Rusty is.  Nicole’s fragility is slowly revealed to Rusty and the reader as she becomes more of a presence in Rusty’s life.  I know that sounds odd but when you read the story you realize just how compartmentalized Rusty’s family is and the impact of that structure upon the children.

OK, I realize I am doing it again, treating these characters as real people.   Amy Lane is a superb storyteller.  She creates worlds, situations and yes, characters that seem as real as any you might meet outside your door.  They are flawed, they bleed as well as breathe.  And when they hurt, you will hurt and bleed along with them.  And that’s because somewhere those characters crossed the line from paper personas to people we love and care for as though they are family.  I have the empty tissues boxes to prove it.

What characters seemed removed, incomplete and insubstantial?  Well, that would be Rusty’s mother and father.  And with  good reason, because they feel that way to Rusty.  His parents are cold, detached from family warmth and familial love, driven by their own ambition and control.  By the author creating characters so coldly ephemeral and disengaged from their children, it helps to establish Rusty’s viewpoint as ours and it helps to understand his upbringing as well as Nicole’s.

There is laughter to be found among the pages to go with the river of tears you will shed for this amazing boy crying out for love and understanding.  And the reader will celebrate the happiness that Rusty (and Oliver) find together after all the obstacles have been surmounted.  I found myself, exhausted, red faced and snotty, surrounded happily by empty boxes of tissues at 3am and promptly wanted to do it all over again.

If I had a minuscule quibble with this story, it would be with the title.  I would have loved it if the title would have been free of holiday references.  Why?  Because I am afraid that at any other time of the year readers unfamiliar with either Amy Lane or this story might relegate it to the Christmas story genre instead of “the must read at any time of year’ category it so deserves.  But that is a wispy sort of quibble, lacking any substance and disappearing as we speak.

I loved, loved Christmas Kitsch.  It is heartwarming as well as heartrending. It is as joyous as it is poignant! And I will read it again and again because that’s what I  do with comfort reads with characters who are real to me and dear to my heart.  I am sure you will feel the same, so grab it up and start reading.  Have that tissue box handy, you will need it.  And as a extra bonus you will be helping LGBT youth in need as well.  This is a Highly Recommended, Best of 2013 or any year.  Don’t pass it by!

Cover art by LC Chase is soft and lovely.

Special Note:

20% of all proceeds from this title are donated to the Ali Forney Center in New York, whose mission “is to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning (LGBTQ) youth from the harm of homelessness, and to support them in becoming safe and independent as they move from adolescence to adulthood.” To learn more about this charity or to donate directly, please visithttp://www.aliforneycenter.org

Book Details:

256 pages
Expected publication: December 9th 2013 by Riptide Publishing (first published December 7th 2013)
ISBN13 9781626490864
edition language English
Riptide Publishing’s Home for the Holiday Series

Review: Sweet Young Thang (Theta Alpha Gamma #3) by Anne Tenino

Rating: 4.25 stars out of 5

Sweet Young ThangCollin Montes was instrumental in getting his fraternity, Theta Alpha Gamma, to change their  bylaws and accept gay and bisexual college men into TAG.  Several of the brothers were already out about their sexuality, most notably Brad, so this just instilled in their bylaws the acceptance acknowledged in their close knit fraternity.  But there is even another reason this change means so much to Collin and that is the fact that Collin is also gay.  Collin has kept that fact  hidden from most of his fraternity and his family.  And that includes his Uncle Monty who raised him after his father died when Collin was 5.  Uncle Monty is also the president of the TAG Alumni Association and an influential and powerful man in his own right. Uncle Monty is also a homophobe.  The TAG Alumni Association contributes a heavy sum to the running of TAG and neither Uncle Monty or the rest of the board are happy with the inclusion of Gays and Bisexuals in the fraternity.

When first a water heater is rigged to launch through the ceiling, setting off a fire at the TAG house which injures one of the brothers, and then a bomb is found,  Collin is sure that these are repercussions due to the changes in bylaws at TAG.  One of the paramedics/firemen to arrive at the house  the day of the fire is college and TAG Alumn  Eric “Dix” Dixon.  Eric sees Collin helping out his injured frat brother and the attraction between the men is instantaneous.

Older by ten years and with touches of grey in his hair, Eric is openly gay at work.  Eric has always dreamed of someone to make a home and family with but that person hasn’t appeared until now.  Collin, with his sexy eyes and gorgeous body, just may be the one Eric has been waiting for.  But there are many obstacles between their happiness and future together, from Collin’s closeted status and homophobic uncle to the person responsible for the arson and bombing of the TAG House.  As Eric and Collin fall in love, the threat to Collin and the fraternity grows greater.  Can Eric protect the man he has come to love or will homophobic hatred ruin their chance for a future together?

This is the third book in the Theta Alpha Gamma series by Anne Tenino and I loved it.  It has all the distinctive features of the others in the series.  It’s funny, it has terrific characters, and of course, it’s over the top sexy!  But this story has something more. It has a mystery as well.  Who is behind the arson and bombs at the fraternity?  A mystery is a terrific new aspect to this already wonderful series.  But let’s take a closer look at this series most common features.

Each book has focused on a member of the Theta Alpha Gamma or TAG fraternity at Calapooya University in Oregon.  First it was Brad, then Paul, and now it’s Collin’s turn.  Each young man is not only a member of TAG but gay as well, although each has arrived at that self knowledge in differing ways.  The wonderful thing about this series is that the characters and couple you have fallen in love with in the previous books are back, included in this story.  That holds especially true for Brad and Sebastian from Frat B0y and Toppy (Theta Alpha Gamma #1).  They are still working on their relationship and Collin plays an important part in helping them work through a few issues of their own.  But the story here belongs to Collin and Eric, as well as the rest of the fraternity brothers.

This is the first time we have really seen the men of TAG interact with each other on a deeper scale.  Tenino brings us into the frat house dynamics and the close knit brotherhood of the Theta Alpha Gamma fraternity. Once more we get to watch Tank, Ricky, Toby, Kyle, Jules and the rest support each other, no matter the problem.  I have to admit the frat house scenes that involved all the frat brothers had me giggling uncontrollably.  Whether they were being roused to action by the threat to their kegerator or watching Project Runway, these are the scenes that really brought their fraternity to goofy life.  It’s hysterically funny and yet heartwarming at the same time.  Is it a realistic depiction of life at a fraternity?  Don’t know and quite frankly don’t care. In Tenino’s more than capable hands, these quirky, crazy group of guys are alive and kicking and making us  laugh over and over again.  I just loved them.

Collin and Eric are so interesting in their own right.  Collin’s father died when he was young and although his mother is alive, his Uncle had a large part in raising him.  Collin is an intelligent young man who knows he is gay but fears losing the love of his Uncle by telling him who Collin really is.  Uncle Monty is homophobic and controlling, and that has defined Collin’s upbringing until now.  It is a joy watching Collin change as the events unfold and his relationship with Eric grows more substantial.  Eric is also an interesting character with a sexy, hidden side to him.  Trust me when I say that a photography session is one of the sexy highlights of this story.  I enjoyed their relationship and the journey towards love for them both.  I liked that Anne Tenino took into consideration their age difference when writing the relationship. Neither man is at quite the same stage as the other which is an honest aspect to this story.  I appreciated it much more than if we had gotten a case of “instant love”.

I did have a few quibbles with the story.  The person behind the attacks on the frat house is easily spotted although the motive remains hidden until the end.  I really didn’t have a problem with that aspect of the mystery because it plays out so nicely in the story.  There is an event at the end I wasn’t expecting and that was a nice touch too.  I did wish that Collin’s relationship with his Uncle had a better resolution (and his Uncle’s Alumni Association’s aspect too).  Both his Uncle and the Alumi Association had figured greatly in the story, and that was not really dealt with at the end.

A new young gay character was introduced here. Tank’s younger brother has transfered into the college and been accepted into TAG. I see his story coming next.  I can’t wait.  I love these guys and their crazy mixed up fraternity.  They have heart to go along with their beer parties.  They are funny, engaging, and I always enjoy my time with them.  I highly recommend this book and this series.  Grab them all up, starting with the first one if you are new to the series and this marvelous band of brothers.

Here are the books in the order they were written and should be read to understand the characters and their relationships:

Frat Boy and Toppy (Theta Alpha Gamma, #1)

Love, Hypothetically (Theta Alpha Gamma, #2)

Sweet Young Thang (Theta Alpha Gamma, #3)

Book Details:

ebook
Published July 22nd 2013 by Riptide Publishing
ISBN139781626490321
edition languageEnglish

Review of But My Boyfriend Is (Florida series #4) by KA Mitchell

Rating: 4.5 stars

Dylan was frantic as he raced to the hospital after getting a call saying his twin brother had been admitted.  Dylan and Darren has relocated to Central Texas primarily because of Darren’s attending college at UT and Dylan going to culinary school.  Now with Darren about to graduate and Dylan working as a chef, he had wondered about their future but never entertained the possibility of Dar being hurt.  And somehow he just knew it was all his fault.  Whenever something happened to Darren, it was because somehow, someway Dylan had screwed something up.  The person,  Mike Aurietta, who called him told Dylan that his brother had been attacked in Webber Park, a place notorious for gay hookups and Dylan felt sick inside.  Darren should never have been there.  It was Dylan who cruised there occasionally looking for some action but that didn’t make him gay.  Did it?   Because Dylan went out with girls, lots of them, it didn’t mean anything did it if the sex was more powerful with guys?  And now his brother lay in a hospital bed, the result of a gay bashing and Dylan just knew who the beating had been intended for.  It was meant for him and Darren got the whipping that should have been his.

Mike Aurietta had been taking an unplanned shortcut through Webber Park when he ran into the guys viciously attacking a man on the ground.  He did what he could to stop the attackers and called for help when they finally ran away.  Mike ended up going with the unconscious victim to the hospital and stayed to help any way he could.  Mike found the emergency numbers in the victim’s wallet, placed the calls he needed to and waited in the man’s  hospital room when they wheeled him into surgery.  What he was not prepared for  was to see the victim’s twin race into the room, demanding answers and the names of the people who attacked his brother.  Even in a rage, something about Dylan attracted Mike as no other man had done recently.  He explained what happened, his part in getting Darren to the hospital and before he realizes it, his good deed has turned into something quite complicated.

Dylan needs Mike’s help even though he hates to admit it.  And when his brother Aaron and his partner  Joey arrive to take Darren home to recuperate, then it’s not just Mike’s help he needs, but his friendship and the relationship  that is growing slowly between them.  But Mike is closeted because it is not possible to be gay and retain his job as a trainer for the college football team.  Being out is just not going to happen because he not only needs his job  but it is his only way to stay close to the sport and team he loves.  And Dylan?  Well, Dylan is just confused and angry that he is starting to feel something more than friendship for Mike because that might mean he really is gay.  And what would that do to his dreams of a family and kids?  As Dylan and Mike track down Darren’s attackers, the identity of one shakes Mike to the core.  It will wreck his carefully built closet and the new relationship with Dylan he has come to treasure, perhaps even more than his job.  And Dylan too must decide if he is ready to relinquish his childhood dream and admit that he is gay if he wants a possible future with Mike.

But My Boyfriend Is, KA Mitchell’s fourth story in the Florida series, follows two of my favorite books, one of which happens to be Collision Course, a must read for a majority of m/m romance fans. And those are some tough steps to follow but I believe Mitchell has certainly achieved her goal in giving us a great new addition to a series I treasure.  The central characters of But My Boyfriend Is are twins Dylan and Darren Williams, half brothers to  paramedic Aaron Chase and his partner Joey Miller (two of my favorite characters) who we met in Collision Course. All the brothers and their sisters came from a background of abuse, abandonment, and the foster care system that hurt more than helped.  Their father is still in prison for manslaughter.  And that has left a legacy on each member of the family in differing ways.  In Aaron and Dylan, it has made them quick to anger,  rage and pain hiding behind prickly, combative personalities that act as shields even from other members of their family.  While most people see Aaron and Dylan as jerks, Joey saw beneath the “asshole” personas they wore to the hurting, vulnerable people underneath.  But Dylan has always had his brother, his “mirror” image and they have shared everything, almost.

KA Mitchell’s characterizations are just wonderful, so good in fact that she has done too exemplary a job in establishing both Aaron’s and Dylan’s  jerk attitudes.  Because for some that is all that they see, Aaron and Dylan’s obnoxious behavior.  But she also clearly establishes the reason for their behavior and that the hurt and pains inflicted on them in childhood, first by their mother and then by the system, has continued to be the engine that drives their actions and mannerisms.  These are not cardboard characters but carefully crafted personas.  And that makes them not only believable but people we can empathize with.  I actually fell in love with the prickly Dylan, so like Aaron when we first met him, for obvious reasons.  He is so confused about everything going on in his life at the moment.  Darren is graduating and has not mentioned his plans to attend graduate school, obviously without his brother for the first time.  And that has traumatized Dylan.  He has never been without his brother close to him and feels lost at just the thought of Darren far away.  And his sexual attraction to men is growing however much Dylan doesn’t want to admit it.  The author gives us a terrific portrait of a young man heavy into denial when his world starts to shake apart.

Mike Aurietta is another complex closeted young man.  Definitely gay, he hides his sexuality because he understands the reality of being an out gay man in Texas would mean the end of his job and his association with UT football team, or any football team.  But his denial has cost him emotionally too, and we understand the consequences of his actions even as he does.  Aaron and Joey  are here as well, doing what they do so well.  Supporting each other even as Aaron’s fear manifests itself in yelling, and angry commands and Joey acts as the glue to hold him and the others together.  What is surprising is Darren and his attitude towards his brother.  Totally unexpected so I was unprepared for Darren and his behavior.  But as I said, their backstory has left heavy footprints over all of them and in Darren it  manifests itself in a far different manner than it does in Aaron or Dylan.  I thought KA Mitchell really gave the boys extra layers I was unprepared for here in this story.

But this is really Dylan and Mike’s story.  One of coming out and perhaps even growing up, letting go of old childhood dreams while establishing new ones for adulthood.  My only quibble is that I wanted  much more of Mike and Dylan and the rest of the family.  I want to know what happens to Darren as he recovers and goes to graduate school.  And of course, I always want more of Joey and Aaron, the heart of the Florida series.  I had a hard time with the rating for this book, swinging back and forth between 4.5 and 5 stars.  I am still not sure it doesn’t  deserve more.  I guess I will be rereading it again to figure it out.  If you have ever had a friend act like a jerk but continued to love them because you understood where they were coming from, this book is for you.  If you have the ability to look beyond the superficial actions and responses, to see the truth that lies underneath, this book is for you.  And if you love stories of people reaching their potential as human beings, coming out and going forward this book is for you.  But don’t take my word for it, read it for yourself.  I think you will be happy you did.

Here is the Florida series in the order they were written and should be read. Some are free stories that can be found at KA Mitchell’s website:

Diving In Deep (my least favorite but introduces Joey Miller)

Collision Course  #2 (all time favorite read) Aaron Chase and Joey Miller

Collision Course Christmas #2.1 free story

Collision Course Valentine #2.2 free story

No Souvenirs #3 Dr. Jae Sun Kim and Shane  McCormick (love them) deleted scene here

No News Is Good News #3.5 takes place right before But My Boyfriend Is – free story  This explains Aaron’s mood when he gets to the hospital. A must read to fully understand his mental state.

But My Boyfriend Is #4 Dylan Williams and Mike Aurietta

KA Mitchell’s website

Angela Waters is the cover artist.  Just beautiful. Book available from Samhain, Amazon, and All Romance.

Review of Fair Catch by Del Darcy

Rating: 4.5 stars

It was Friday night lights and the score of the football game on the field was close.  Blake Thompson of the Mustangs watched and waited to see if the new Patriots field goal kicker was as good as they had heard. Then out came a slim figure, even in his football pads, brown hair caught under the lights and AYERS36 on the back of his jersey.  It was the first glimpse Blake would get of the boy he would play against and fall for.  Blake knows that he has to fight to play because of his height but he loves football, and his team.  And then he meets Alex Ayers at Rory’s Roadhouse, a local hangout after the game, a place the two teams mix, relieve stress and have fun.  That night turn’s into one of life’s game changers for them both.

Alex Ayers headed towards the sidelines after nailing his kick on the field.  It’s not hard to notice THOMPSON12 when not only is the Mustangs backup Quarterback doing a great job moving his team down the field but that he’s the same size as you are, a rarity among the humongous QBs around the league.  Alex is tired of moving from high school to high school as his dad follows jobs in the construction field.  He likes this high school, his team and wants to stay.  When the two teams hang out at the same place after the games, Alex meets and connects with Blake Thompson, the boy he saw on the field.  First there is a connection between the two boys, followed by attraction that they act on, becoming friends and lovers.  As the school year continues, two things are obvious.  Alex is already getting scouted by college teams for his kicking ability and as Blake is one year younger, he is the one who will be left behind.  The boys are experiencing so many firsts in their lives, including a first love.  Alex has never made a commitment before, his rootless upbringing making that impossible.  Can he now make one to Blake, the boy he leaves behind?   And how will Blake handle the loss of his football dream and the jealously he feels as Alex becomes a star player?

Fair Catch and Del Darcy deliver an insider look at what it means to be a gay teenager, and a gay teenager who plays football at that.  This is a long book at 403 pages but Darcy uses every bit of it to bring two very different young men to life in their struggle to come to grips with not only their sexuality but the restructuring of their high school dreams to include life’s reality.  I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate it that Del Darcy did not try to fit this journey into a smaller length book.  Blake and Alex’s story spans a three year time period in their lives from high school to early college. And as with real life, this journey from high school aspirations and teenage emotions to a older, more mature understanding of themselves is fraught with exuberant highs and depressive lows and everything in between.  Things are both deceptively easy in high school and hard as packed dirt to get through. It is through the characters of Alex Ayers and Blake Thompson and their circle of friends we once again experience what it means to be so young where high school was everything real, and life outside that framework was so huge as to feel alien.

Del Darcy an incredible job with the characters here.  They are everything that teenagers really seem to be.  They are full of themselves, and they are scared, they are sullen and timorous.  They are filled with joy, and lust, and yet filled with the need to accomplish big things, do big things, become the “big thing” for their families and themselves.  The dialog snaps with vivacity, rhythm and authenticity of youth as it flows out of the characters mouths. I can think of no other time in life than the teenage years when emotions and sexuality coincide with a person’s path to maturity with all the wildness and predicability of a roller coaster ride.  You know there will be heights to climb and dips to swing through but you are never prepared for the real thing, the real ride once you are on it.  Darcy makes all the characters here go through life’s challenges, the pain, the hurt feelings and makes us feel them too.  There is not one single character I  did not come to care for and indeed, with Dakota, I ended up going through boxes of tissues right up to the end of the book.  These people burst through the pages of this story full of life, laughing, crying, arguing, and loving. They smoke, swear, and on occasion show cowardice because they don’t know any better or because to do otherwise is even more frightening.

Think of the issues here.  What does it mean to be gay in high school? Should you come out to friends, and family?  What will happen if you do? Darcy gives us all parts of the coming out spectrum here.  From Blake’s family’s acceptance to the heartbreaking experience that Dakota comes through, trust me that boy will send you sobbing for hours. People are bullied for so for being slight of form or too quiet or too smart in high school, then add in a difference in sexuality.  It is no wonder that the high school years are such formative ones, carrying such weight with them into the adult years.Can you play football in high school or college and be out as a gay male? Can you expect to be given scholarships or a fair look by scouts, especially in certain geographical areas, if you are known to be gay.  I think we all know the answer to that is no.  But here in Fair Catch we watch how that plays out in a teenage relationship and the consequences that decision carries with it.

And what happens when one half of a new relationship achieves the dream of the other person?  Jealously is a tough issues no matter the age, and when a teenager has to face the idea that physically he does not mesh up with his dreams of college football? But the boy he loves does? Then it becomes even harder.  Issue after issue is brought up and addressed, but don’t expect to find easy answers here than you do in real life. Darcy respects that fact and gives us real boys trying to get through life in realistic ways.

So why not five stars? My only quibble here is that perhaps too much time is spent on football.  Yes, it is an integral part of the story but I think most people in the United States know their football basics.  But a little  less facts still would have left the foundation in good stead and the story a little tighter. Fair Catch is a wonderful coming of age, coming out story.  It is intense, joyous and downright heartbreaking.  Pick it up, and remember what it felt like to be a teenager once more.  Just don’t forget the tissues.

Interesting cover design by Alessia Brio.  Love the pigskin background  and the football equipment front and center.

Review of Frat Boy and Toppy by Anne Tenino

Rating: 4.5 stars

Brad just had an epiphany, several actuality.  Too bad it happens when his teammate bends over to expose his hairy ass in the communal shower. It’s not just his obvious physical reaction to the moment but all the moments leading up to this one that tells Brad that yes, he really is gay no matter how hard he has denied it. Now what is he going to do about it?

All his life Brad Feller has done what people expected of him.  Huge physique? Athletics all through school into university, while a little voice in his head whispers he would be happier in home economics and cooking classes.  Join a frat full of jocks because of a family legacy and expectations? Yeah, and because he needs to the money for school.  Date girl after girl even after he starts to realize he is using them as a front? The answer is yes to his growing shame. And then there is Sebastian, his TA in the History classes he took for graduation.  Sebastian is gorgeous, cool, hot and oh so out.  Sebastian is also the star performer in all of Brad’s dreams and hopes. Brad wants to come out but doesn’t know how.  His whole world is about to change.

Sebastian is aware of the hot jock watching him in class.  A straight guy , the Frat Boy, right? But a meeting over a paper and Brad himself tells Sebastian a different story.  Brad wants him and Sebastian is only too happy to oblige, take a teacher roll as it were.  But the sex between them is more than hot, it is mind blowing, and perhaps  something more than Sebastian wants to admit.  Can Frat Boy and Toppy admit to the changing relationship between them and grasp the love within their reach?

This book more than met my expectations.  I had expected a cute, somewhat fluffy enjoyable book about coming out and opposites attracting.  This was so much more.  Let’s start with characterization, which for me is always the driving force behind terrific books.  Brad Feller is such a surprising character.  Yes, his exterior is that of a intimidating jock but his interior? Inside he is an almost excruciatingly vulnerable young man trying to understand his sexuality along with his need to be safe and loved.  That his inner voice is also honest and humorous is a huge plus as well. Brad is well aware of the dichotomies he represents, the brooding jock exterior versus the uncertain, insecure, shy young man he really is. Years of hiding his real self has also isolated him as he keeps even his so called friends at arms length.  Tenino has done such an excellent job in creating Brad that from the first inner mumblings of Brad’s thoughts on his life and sexuality, I was hooked.  Not only hooked but in love.  How could you not fall in love with a compassionate, funny, gay chef in jocks clothing who first gets in touch with his inner sub by interacting with his   hair brush in a way not sanctioned by its manufacturer.  Trust me, I was choking in laughter over that one and you will too.

And then there is Sebastian.  In other hands, I am sure he could come across as a complete jerk, a player with a revolving door in his bedroom.  But again Anne Tenino gives us a complicated, totally real person who is more than a match for our Brad.  Sebastian appreciates Brad and truly sees the real person Brad is while totally appreciating the gorgeous body toned through constant workouts and athletics.  Sebastian too must work through his own issues before he can accept the fact that what he is feeling is love for Brad and not just an appreciation of their great sex life.  Sebastian is deserving  of Brad’s love, it just takes him some time to realize it.

There is wonderful humor throughout the entire story.  This includes one of the most memorably funny coming out scenes I have read recently.  I laughed until I cried, trust me it’s hilarious.  This story has it all.  Pitch perfect dialog, outstanding characters, very hot sex scenes (waving fan) and a heart warming tale of coming out and coming to terms with who you really are. I wanted more, much more of Brad and Sebastian, that was my only complaint.  So will you. You really don’t want to miss this story.  It’s that great.  Trust me.

Cover:  What a great cover.  Cover artist is LC Chase and I think they did a wonderful job. Loved it.