Review of How To Raise An Honest Rabbit (Knitting #3) by Amy Lane

Rating: 5 stars

When ex con Jeremy Stillson ends up begging for money on a street corner in Boulder, Colorado, he has no idea that his life is about to change when he spies the looming figure of Rance Crawford heading towards him from the nearby yarn shop. Instead of money, Rance offers him a job that comes with a small room to call his own in the alpaca barn and fiber mill that Rance owns. Here is the chance Jeremy has wanted, a way to be honest and to go straight, leaving the illegal lifestyle behind that he learned from his conman of a father, a father who died when a con went bad.

But living a honest life doesn’t necessarily mean Jeremy’s past is gone with the old lifestyle. Rance turns Jeremy’s training over to a young gorgeous man named Aiden, a master at colors and yarn dyes even as a teenager. Aiden is everything Jeremy has always wanted to be and Jeremy idolizes the teenager from the first moment they meet. Year after year, Jeremy slowly adjusts. He learns to love his new life, he learns how to knit and gains a family with the people he works with at the alpaca ranch. And most importantly he falls in love with Aiden as Aiden ages and matures into a wonderful young man.

Jeremy’s feelings of insecurity and low self esteem have never gone away and when Aiden starts to return his affection, Jeremy is petrified. Jeremy’s first instincts are to run, rabbit away but Aiden has Jeremy figured out. When Aiden first met Jeremy, one of the things he taught him was how to hold a angora rabbit, to make it feel secure so it can be petted and brushed. So when Jeremy shows signs of rabbiting away, Aiden knows exactly what he has to do to keep the one man he has wanted from running away and make him trust in Aiden.

What a wonderful story. I will be the first to admit that Amy Lane is a “go to” author for me. An Amy Lane book to me means an outpouring of human emotions from characters so real I expect to meet them on the streets. An Amy Lane story means that the situations and events her characters find themselves entangled in comes across so authentic, so genuine that not only my empathy but my heart is engaged from the very beginning. If they weep, then I find myself sobbing along as well. And when they find joy, then my heart feels replete with happiness.

How To Raise An Honest Rabbit (Knitting #3) brings back the characters we learned to love in The Winter Courtship Rituals of Fur-Bearing Critters (Knitting, # 1) . Present and accounted for are Rance Crawford, owner of the alpaca farm and yarn mill, Ben McCutcheon (Rance’s lover and neighbor), Aiden fabric designer extraordinaire and Ariadne shop manager and spinner, and of course, Jeremy. The first story in the Knitting series gave us Rance and Ben’s courtship from their POV, with the other characters circling around like satellites, albeit family member satellites. And as much as we learned to love Ariadne and Rory her husband, it was Jeremy and Aiden we kept returning to and we wanted to know their stories too. And thankfully, Amy Lane gives us that and more in How To Raise An Honest Rabbit.

It was hysterical to see Rance and Ben’s meeting and courtship from the other side, so to speak as Rance’s meeting with Jeremy predates Ben moving in next door. But the heart of this story is Jeremy, his pain born out of his past and his slow emergence into the man he wanted to be but never thought possible. Jeremy’s history is heartbreaking in that Amy Lane way, which means the angst of his past is brought vividly home to the reader but in small subtle ways that build over the length of the story into a horrific portrait of a young boy lost to society at the earliest of ages. We learn in tiny increments about the jars of peanut butter Jeremy has stashed so he always has something to eat, and the true reason he talks so much yet values silence and the awful fact that Jeremy doesn’t even know his real name. The story is told from Jeremy’s POV which is so important as we hear his thoughts about his life, his panic attacks, his growing affection for Aiden and everyone else around him.

And as we learn about Jeremy, we are also creating a strong picture of Aiden as well. From Aiden’s interaction with Rance (overheard conversations) and his talks with Jeremy, we watch a young fiber genius mature into a man who realizes that patience and perhaps ear plugs are the way to capture the skittish man he has fallen in love with. It was Aiden’s careful, loving interactions with Jeremy that made me fall in love with Aiden completely. And with Ariadne as well. Really, there is just an endless stream of gems that I could be quoting from the story but that would take away some of the magic to be found from discovering them on your own as I did.

And finally as a knitter myself, I loved every aspect of knitting that appears here, from the carding machine’s noise to the method Ariadne used to teach Jeremy to knit (and his own rhyme he made up). There are the dye vats, color cards, and descriptions of how the same colored strands can be spun in different manner, ending up as completely different yarns. And I don’t think you have to be a knitter to find all this information fascinating, it just is. But did I love the patterns for the fingerless mittens at the end? Why yes I did and will try my hand at making a set this winter.

There is another Knitting series book on the horizon, Knitter in his Natural Habitat (Knitting #4), Johnny and Stanley’s story. I can’t wait. In the meantime, I will just shuffle off and reload Winter Courtship Rituals back onto my Kindle and start from the beginning once more as I wait.

Here is the order the books were written and should be read:

The Winter Courtship of Fur Bearing Critters (Knitting #1)

Super Sock Man (Knitting #2)

How To Raise An Honest Rabbit (Knitting #3)

Knitter in his Natural Habitat (Knitting #4) coming in November 2012

Covers by Catt Ford. Are these not the most adorable covers ever? I heart them all.

Frankenstorm is Coming and the Week Ahead in Reviews Hopefully

So, here we are on the cusp of a truly remarkable storm event, a hurricane within a nor easter, something that has never occurred before or so say the meteorologists. Over 85 million people will feel the impact of Hurricane Sandy as she heads towards the East Coast as a hurricane 1, taking a dramatic left turn anywhere between Washington, DC and the Jersey shore and heading inland. From Virginia to Massachusetts, people are getting ready to hunker down and some are already evacuating.

Here in Maryland we are expecting not only huge amounts of rain (could be up to over 10 inches or more), high winds of 65 to 70 mph, but snow! That’s right, we could be seeing large amounts of snow as well. So will parts of West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio. *shakes head* So rain, wind, hail, snow, flooding most certainly. Have the weather gods left anything out? I don’t think so. It just seems so unreal. So of course, we made sure that the dog food was stocked up on, ditto the wine, water, and canned goods and snacks. So we are good, I think. But then there is my blog. And while I have a generator, that doesn’t mean the servers and towers won’t be coming down, so if there are no updates after a while, just nod and say “Well, the Frankenstorm must have got her!”, and know I will be back up and running as soon as I am absolutely able to do so.

I also want to give a shout out to Jay of Joyfully Jay just back from the fabulous GayRomLit2012 in Albuquerque, NM. She had an outstanding time and so did everyone else who attended. So many great authors, bloggers and readers to meet and party with. I so wanted to be there but the pictures she (and others) took made me some of the joy and fun that was going on. Wow, what a time and great photos to boot. And she also brought me back a bag of swag! Naked men playing cards, fluffer lip balm to name a few. Hooray! Now I am determined to be there in Atlanta for next year’s conference. GayRomLit2013 in Atlanta! woohoo!

So let’s see what I have planned for this week, shall we?

Monday: Theory of Attraction by Cleon Lee (I promise this will happen)

Tuesday: Risking It All by Lee Brazil

Wednesday: Tigerland by Sean Kennedy

Thursday: The F Words by Anyta Sunday

Friday: A Mutual Understanding by Caro Soles

Saturday: MIA Case Files #3: Craving by K.C. Burn

That’s it. Now let’s see what happens. Fingers crossed. Kindle charged. Sigh.

Review of Mine by Mary Calmes

Rating: 4.75 stars

Trevan Bean and Landry Carter have a relationship that not many understand but that words for them completely. From the first time Trev saw Landry two years ago at a party, they have been inseparable. Before Trev Bean came into his life, Landry Carter was a troubled young man. He was repudiated by his family for being gay and tumbled into a mess of low self esteem, depression and endless anonymous sexual acts. Then one night, everything changed, Trevan Bean saw him, picked him off his knees, took him to Trev’s home and told Landry he belonged to Trev alone and no one else. From that moment on, Landry began his recovery from pathetic mess to functioning happy human being, at least most of the time. As long as he followed his routine, and knows that Trev is always there, he can run his jewelry store and create the gorgeous things he is becoming known for and be content knowing he is loved.

Trevan Bean, half Cuban half African American, is a complicated man. He comes from a loving family who have depended on him since his father died. To help out his family, he became a money runner for a gambling mob, a job he has to this day. And while Trev has never carried a gun or had to hurt someone, Trev knows it is an illegal job, full of dangerous people and accepts the risks he has to take to make money. Trev plans on buying a restaurant someday and he and Landry have been saving to buy their own house in the not so near future.

So far, he and Landry have been balancing all the complications in their lives and it has been working fine. Until Landry’s youngest brother shows up out of nowhere and wants Landry to come home to see his ailing mother. And Landry starts to unravel. Then one of Trev’s runner associates ends up in a hospital, beaten by a rival mobster and Trev’s job is thrown into chaos by a gang war. Not only is his safety threatened, but so is the wellbeing of everyone he loves, including Landry. Their carefully maintained balancing act is demolished, their lives in jeopardy and it will take everything they have and more to make sure they come out of this mess with their relationship intact and their love stronger than ever.

I just loved this book and think it is one of Mary Calmes strongest stories yet. The characters she has created are two of the most complicated and damaged people she has ever produced. One, Trev Bean, is an interracial mobster with his own slippery morality, a strong code of loyalty and an unwavering love for Landry Carter. He is aware that Landry has some serious emotional problems that can cause Landry anxiety, manic behavior, and even result in self destructive acts. But Trev also knows he is the key to Landry’s stability, and whether he is an enabler or not, Trev will do what he thinks is right to keep Landry safe and happy. Trev is under no illusions about his own morality or mental issues as well. He accepts it all as it comes with a forthright manner and calm demeanor. Just an amazing protagonist, compelling in every way.

Landry is also as damaged and riveting a persona as Trev, the yin to Trev’s yang. He is the flickering flame to the earthen rock that is Trev. His instability, his is a luminescence which will burn too brightly unless contained by Trev and a strict routine, His emotional problems are never given a diagnosis but OCD is mentioned briefly. He is just as likely to flair with anger as he is with passion and you can see as a reader how badly Landry has needed someone like Trev in his life to bring him the balance and limitations he has always needed so badly. For some, these two men represent an unhealthy relationship, something even Trev recognizes. But what they have together also works for them, and they will fight to keep each other and their relationship intact. Convoluted, messy, passionate, occasionally crazied and absolutely committed, what an amazing relationship to bring to life in this story. And Mary Calmes does bring it vividly to life in every possible way. These characters cry, threaten, have hot, passionate sex, and tender moments and we are there with them through every event, every step forward, and all threats to their happiness. I loved both men from the start, and by the end of the book, hated to let either of them go.

And there are other fascinating characters within Mine that I wanted much more of, the most visible and intriguing of them is Conrad, a hit man’s hit man, an enforcer so dangerous that just his name means protection. Conrad doesn’t have many he counts as friends but Trev is one of them. The man remains an enigma even as his very presence adds weight to the events that occur within the story. From what I understand, this is a stand alone story so we cannot expect to see these characters again. And that is a shame for these are such interesting, gripping people and we have become so invested in their lives and happiness that wanting to know more about them and their future is a given by the end of the book.

I only wish we had a little more exposition at the end, a little more resolution to the dramatic events they had just gone through. But perhaps that’s just being greedy and not wanting the story to end. If you like unusual main characters, if you like your protagonists with a twist as well as love, pick this book up and be prepared to not put it down until you are finished. It is that good!

Cover: Reese Dante’s beautiful torso with the all important L tat is gorgeous. My only complaint and to be honest I am not sure how it could have been done, is to have made that skin color more in line with the racial makeup of Trev’s caramel or dark bronze coloring as he calls it. At any rate it is gorgeous and sexy and so very hot.

Review: Chase The Stars (Lang Downs #2) by Ariel Tachna

Rating: 5 stars

Chris Simms and his brother just happened to be in the wrong place and at the wrong time and now Chris was getting the beating of his life by a gang of homophobic thugs. His brother, Seth, runs off to find help and the jackaroos who return to intervene and take him to the hospital end up changing their lives forever. One of the men to stop his attackers happens to be Macklin Armstrong who along with his partner Caine Neiheisal, offer Chris a job and both brothers a place to live on Lang Downs, their sheep station. Chris realizes how badly he needs this place for himself to heal and for his brother’s safety but it is so hard for Chris to trust other people, especially with his history.

Jackaroo Jesse Harris is gay and quietly so as he has seen more than his share of homophobia on other sheep stations he has worked for. Having a station manager and a station owner who are not only gay but partners is taking some getting used to, so is not having to hide his sexuality as Jesse has always done before. Then injured Chris Simms arrives at the station with his brother and Jesse’s offer to help Chris adjust to station life turns into mutual attraction between the two men and then so much more. But Chris’ emotional state is in turmoil. He feels guilty for not pulling his own weight on the station because of his injuries and ignorance. And so is being there for his brother as Seth adjusts to a life so different in every respect from the one they were used to. Can he and Seth make a home on Lang Downs and be happy? And what about Jesse? Most jackaroos are nomadic by nature, roaming from one sheep station job to another from season to season. Would Jesse be able to make a commitment to Chris, a family, and life lived permanently at Lang Downs? Impermanence is all Jesse has known but when he falls in love with Chris, he realizes in a panic that returning that love means a fundamental change in his life. Now only if he can find the courage to accept that.

Chase The Stars is the sequel to Inherit The Sky, the first Lang Downs novel and I certainly hope this is not the last visit to the men and the Lang Down sheep station I have come to love. Once more we are pulled into the world of wide open spaces of New South Wales and quiet reserved men who make their living off the land. Caine Neiheisel and his partner, Macklin Armstrong are featured here just as much as Chris Simms and Jesse Harris to my utter joy. Caine and Macklin have had six months to adjust to their new love and partnership. Lang Downs too is having its own adjustments to make to having an openly gay owner and manager. As Caine and Macklin work to create a successful and accepting work place, they also are still discovering new things about themselves as they learn to trust each other and lean completely upon the other man fpr their emotional support. Work schedules are tight on Lang Downs where they are shorthanded as not all the seasonal jackaroos will accept working with gay men and Macklin is still keeping secrets from Caine about his history to Caine’s frustration. Nothing ever comes quickly and there is work to be done, even on relationships, if all are to succeed.

Into this evolving mixture of men and relationships, Tachna adds the Simms brothers, Chris and Seth who are woefully in need of sanctuary, a home and support. At Lang Downs, they find all that and more as Caine and Macklin provide a needed portrait of two gay men who love each other and successfully work together. Chris and his brother Seth were tossed out of their home by their stepfather after their mother died and Chris was having a hard time just getting them food and shelter on a day to day basis. With Caine and Macklin making them feel at home, Chris can finally get past a state of stress and starts to think about a future for them both. Chris Simms and his brother, Seth are wonderful characters and work perfectly within the established framework Ariel Tachna has created. We have already gotten a real understanding of the flow and pace of life on a sheep station, we anticipate the seasonal duties the jackaroos have before them as much as they do, and we sympathize with Chris and Seth’s feelings as outsiders when they first arrive at Lang Downs. But then the station’s strangeness starts to wear off as Chris and Seth find their way into the rhythm of life at Lang Downs. Seth settles down as he starts the School of the Air with the other children and finds an outlet for his mechanical nature in helping to work on the engines, the people around him making him feel like family. But it is Chris who we empathize with the most. He is the one beaten for his sexuality, he is the one who has shouldered all the responsibility for his brother and we breathe a sigh of relief and joy as Chris learns to trust in his situation and the men around him. Chris’ vulnerability and sensitive nature engages our affections from the beginning and we root for him to succeed and find happiness just as Caine and Macklin have.

The character of Jesse Harris brings a wonderful contrast to Chris Simms and Macklin Armstrong. Jesse Harris is more typical of the seasonal jackaroos who work the sheep stations, never settling at one place for long. These men have learned to be self sufficient and hard, reserved and used to isolation. Still Jesse’s homosexuality sets him apart from the others and the high standards that Macklin and Caine set are not only new but bring the potential for more into a future Jesse had never thought of for himself. Watching Jesse change and adapt to new thoughts and feelings is like watching the parched ground soak up the rain after a steady shower, the cracks fill up and finally disappear as the ground repairs itself. We thrill to watch that evolution happen within Jesse as well.

And that’s really how this book and Inherit The Sky feel to me. They are as much about a life lived as close to nature and as in tune with the seasons as one can be. Changes in emotions and thoughts are measured as incrementally as changes in the land around them. The wind blows a little colder, the rains and sleet pour down upon men and sheep equally. And life is slow until the threat of dingos appears and then the rush to face the threats is quick and fierce as the storms themselves. There is the calm enjoyment of the beauty of the outback and the clear night skies contrasted with the life and death nature of the floods in the rainy season. This is a novel that spreads out before you in as elemental and earthy manner as the land itself. We are made to see an Australian night sky ablaze with stars, and feel the cold seep into bones of the men checking the fence line and what a gift that turns out to be. It is a treasure when an author can meld you seamlessly into their world, make you a part of their characters lives so completely that you hurt and laugh when they do. Ariel Tachna did that with Inherit The Sky and does it again here with Chase The Stars.

Easing back into the world of Lang Downs was like revisiting with old friends and meeting new ones as well. I love watching the changes in the lives of the characters I have come to love, whether the permutations inch forward or flow fast like a stream. I hope that Ariel Tachna brings us back here again, to see what changes time has brought and to whom Lang Downs has given sanctuary and home. Until then, I will be picking these two books up again and again to read and remember.

Cover by Anne Cain is lovely and perfect for the book and the story within.

Review: Love Comes Silently by Andrew Grey

Rating: 5 stars

When artist Ken Brighton moved himself, boyfriend, and adopted daughter, Hanna to Pleasanton, Michigan, it was because Ken thought the rural environment and schools would be a wonderful place to raise Hanna and he could paint with inspiration all around him. Instead, Hanna is diagnosed with pediatric leukemia and all his time, energy, and attention is focused on his daughter to his boyfriend’s dismay. One day, his boyfriend Mark announces that their relationship is over, Mark is sorry about the timing but he needs more than Ken is willing or able to give. Now Ken is left totally alone, raising Hanna by himself,hoping that she will be able to beat the cancer and feeling so despondent that he has stopped painting. Then mysterious care packages for Hanna start to arrive on his doorstep, bringing joy for his daughter and hope back into their lives. If only he knew who was responsible.

Former singer Patrick Flaherty knows something about pain, and the loss of hope. He was once a famous singer but an accident changed all that and plunged him into a world where he would never speak or sing again. Devastated Patrick retreats into silence and the small house he bought from his mother. Then he notices his new neighbors and watches the changes that occur next door as the months go by. When he realizes that the young girl whose father dotes on is critically ill, something changes inside him. He slowly reaches out to Ken and offers a small measure of assistance when Ken needs it. The closer he becomes to Ken and Hanna, the dreams he once had of love and family start to come alive once more. Ken’s goodness is only matched by his attractiveness and Hanna is a joy in every way. It hurts to watch her illness progress and as Patrick tries to make life easier for his neighbors, his involvement in their lives sparks him to life once more.

Ken knows he is foundering, just the thought that he might lose Hanna to this disease is killing him. The only bright spot in their lives is their silent neighbor, Patrick. Always there offering help, shoring Ken up when he needs it the most, his silent presence sometimes all Ken needs to keep from breaking apart all together. Slowly a relationship starts to form between Ken and Patrick. When Mark wants to come back into Ken’s life, will Patrick find a way to communicate his love to Ken? And does Ken have anything left over to give and is it Patrick he wants to spend his life with?

Andrew Grey had me from the very first scene as Ken races with fevered Hanna to the hospital and gets a silent assist from an unknown man who turns out to be Patrick. A father’s fear over his daughter’s illness and the terrifying race to the hospital over snowy roads to the Marquette hospital leaps from the pages and into our hearts. From that moment on, our sympathies are engaged in this small family. Ken’s heartbreak on hearing Hanna’s diagnosis is our heartbreak, his tears are ours as he sits alone in the hospital. This is every parents worst nightmare come to life. We cry along with him every horrifying step of the way. From diagnosis to each treatment young Hanna has to endure, the loss of her hair, and the pain and exhaustion that is part of the tole cancer is taking on her body. Andrew Grey gives us an accurate portrayal of a child with cancer without yielding to the temptation of saccharine, overly dramatic scenes that a child in distress could bring to the story. Instead, Grey gives us a realistic depiction of a father dealing with his daughter’s critical illness. Ken’s total focus is on Hanna, as it should be. He can’t paint, household chores are forgotten, along with his own meals. Only Hanna and cancer exist for him. And we get that, absolutely.

Grey’s characters felt so real, became so compelling that I forgot at times they weren’t alive. And while our attention is drawn first to Ken and Hanna, who I adored, Patrick slowly turns our gaze on him. Wrapped in silence, Patrick has retreated in every way from life. He has taken up wood working as a career, perfect as it allows him to continue to live in isolation. But his silent life is broken into shards when Ken and Hanna move into the neighborhood. Hidden in his house, Patrick watches all three move in and then Marc move out. He helped the first night that Ken took Hanna to the hospital and watched as the joyful little girl turned weak and her beautiful hair falls out. And he determines to do something, anything to help them, and in doing so, helps himself to live once more. Beautiful, just beautiful. How I loved watching Patrick emerge from his self imposed isolation through his kindness to Hanna and then face his growing attraction to Ken. Andrew Grey does a great job of contrasting Patrick’s stumbling journey back to life with the ups and downs that Hanna is subjected to during the treatments for cancer. We are afraid to rejoice too much for each character, fearing that one or both would stall in their progress to health and life.

No quibbles here. I think that Love Comes Silently might be one of my all time favorite Andrew Grey books, and that is saying a lot when you look at the bounty of books he has produced. If you are a parent like I am, this will hit you doubly hard. And then the joy at the end is also increased two fold. If you don’t have children, you will still love this book as much as I did for the stories of lives reborn, dreams recaptured, and life promise renewed once more. Please pick this one up and fall deep under the spell of Ken, Hanna, and Patrick. I know you will love them as much as I do.

Cover: L.C. Chase has captured moments of this terrific story beautifully in the elements of this cover, especially the vibrant pink child’s hat.

It’s Almost Halloween and The Week Ahead in Reviews!

The leaves are starting to turn some startlingly beautiful fall colors, crimson, rich golds and brilliant shades of orange. I love this time of year. I love pulling out favorite sweaters and my feet love the warmth of my Uggs and my winter slippers. My morning coffee tastes better when the first sip is taken outside watching the birds start their morning trips to my backyard feeders.

My pumpkins were carved and what a time that was. The wild weather during the growing season has made for some unusually thick pumpkins, great for professional carvers. Not so great for the amateur. Not only did I manage to destroy all the little carving implements I bought for pumpkin carving, I also broke 2 kitchen knives, bent a steak knife and ended up swinging a huge thing that looked like it should have been carried by Jim Bowie in the wilderness. I am talking hours here, folks! So what should occur when I put it outside? Well overnight and into the next morning, I had visitors that appreciated my pumpkin on an entirely different level. They ate it! Sigh. Oh well, at least someone enjoyed my efforts.

There are so many great books being released now that I am getting a little overwhelmed, but in a good way. So this is my schedule for next week. If it does play out this way, well chalk it up to my Fall crazies and Halloween overload:

Monday: Love Comes Silently by Andrew Grey

Tuesday: Chase The Stars by Ariel Tachna

Wednesday: Mine by Mary Calmes

Thursday: Gleams of a Remoter World by Fiona Glass

Friday: Torquere Sip Short Stories

Saturday: Theory of Attraction by Cleon Lee and Just A Summer Fling by Lily Grace

Any how that’s what I am aiming for in addition to pulling out my witch’s costume and putting new feather in my hat! The ghostly jester skeleton is hanging in the breeze and the raven is soon to follow. So much to do……

Review: Rocking On by Emily Veinglory

Rating: 3.5 stars

It all started back in high school. Scott DeMaris and Bevin Stewart formed a band called Black Lam. Scott supplied the music and the motivation and Bevis wrote the lyrics and sang. Black Lam played locally with moderate success and everything was fine until Scott decided he wanted to be famous and the band was the ticket. Scott and Bevin were also high school lovers but being gay in a world of screaming girls fans was not going to cut it for Scott who went back into the closet. Bevin, dealing with the onset of a number of crippling disorders, told Scott he didn’t want to be famous and left both Scott and Black Lam. And the men parted not to be reunited for another 10 years.

Now Scott has returned and Bevin’s carefully ordered life he has assembled for himself is upended, his strict routine shattered. Scott wants Bevin to be his friend again. He is tired of the hangers on and the phonies surrounding him and wants Bevin back. Bevin likes his life. He owns a cafe shop and a small house. A strict regimen and regular visits with his therapist have helped to keep his agoraphobia and panic attacks under control, among other issues. And Scott back in his life puts all that at risk. Added to everything else, a closeted Scott wants to renew their relationship and that is something that an out gay Bevin won’t tolerate. He won’t be someone’s secret and being the hidden lover of a rock star is more than he can handle. But Scott won’t give up and Bevin realizes that his love for Scott is still there after all these years. How can two men makes their relationship work when love is not enough to keep them together.

In Rocking On Emily Veinglory has surely given us one of the more complex, damaged main characters that I have come across in Bevin Stewart. When we first meet Bevin sitting at his computer trying to decide if he wants to “friend” Scott on Facebook or not but is interrupted by a sound from the back of the house. He is trying to navigate through the rooms of his small house with difficulty. There seems to be clutter everywhere, items stacked on every possible surface of the house he lives in. And someone, Scott, is tapping on the backdoor wanting to come in. But napkins, and other restaurant goods are stacked against the walls and door and the only way in is through the front entrance. Just from this scene alone we are aware that Bevin has some issues, big ones. And as the story gains momentum, more and more of Bevin’s problems come forward. Bevin is an agoraphobic given to panic attacks, and he also seems to have hoarding tendencies to go along with the fears of crowds and tight places. Yet, he has acknowledged his problems and sought help with the assistance of a therapist he listens to. Bevin has also managed to own and run a successful small business and accumulate employees that respect him and in some cases are his friends. I liked Bevin immensely and wish the rest of the book and his lover were up to his high standards.

Part of my quibbles with this story come from Scott DeMaris, closeted rocker who wants Bevin back in his life but on his terms. He plows back into Bevis’ life with all the subtly of a runaway train and with just about the same effect as he starts to demolish Bevin’s carefully planned life. I think we are supposed to root for him as means to shake Bevin up and enlarge his world but instead I ended up more irritated than anything else. Scott reappears, shakes things up and then vanishes on tour without a note or phone call before appearing on Bevin’s doorstep yet again. Absent and feckless are two of the words Bevin uses to describe Scott. I can think of so many more and none of them flattering. Scott declares his love for Bevin but I never feel the truth of that statement. At one point the psychiatrist working with Bevin, tells him that Scott’s very unreliability maybe just the thing Bevin needs otherwise Bevin would rely too much on a lover who is constantly around and I am stunned by that. So if I get this right, better to have a so called lover you see intermittently than work on your issues of dependance? Gack. Most of the problems I have with Scott is that he seems to have no layering to him and he comes across as more of a one-dimensional character than Bevin does. The two men just do not balance each other out and that inequality effects the entire story.

There are several events within the story that are traumatic for Bevin and they come across so realistically that your heart beats fast and your stress levels rise along with Bevin. I wish that the drama and strength of these episodes would have been used to better effect within the narrative. At the end of the seeming endless chain of one night’s events that include abandonment on the side of the road and car accidents, I would anticipated them being used as a springboard to an epiphany or life change or something other than a medium regression to past behavior. Over and over again, I feel as though Bevin and the reader are being set up for something major and than nothing happens. Perhaps that is more realism in the way this story actually unfolds than this book can handle. What I do know is that the ending leaves me unsatisfied and feeling unsettled. I am not happy for Bevin in the end and he is such a great character that I should be as content as he purports to be as he goes off with Scott. I’m not and I don’t think you would be either. In fact, I would be scrambling to find the number for Match.com to hand to Bevin before he boards the plane. Bevin deserves much better and so do you.

Cover by Paul Richmond is dramatic and wonderful. Not a match for the book however.

Review: Steamroller by Mary Calmes

Rating: 4 stars

Vincent Wade is more than tired these days. He is absolutely exhausted. Between his college classes (Vince plans on solving world hunger) and working full time at Ace Graphics to pay his rent, he barely has time to eat and sleep. So when a jock comes barging in at the end of an extra shift at the store and demands that he drop everything and run a guy’s poster project now and for free no less? Well, it was lucky for the football player that all Vince did was throw the thumb drive into the nearest trash can. Again and again, the staff and Vince tell the jocks, now two, that the machines were already running, the store was closing, and if they wanted their project done, they had to go elsewhere, which they finally did but not without a veiled threat or two.

But some people just end up pushing into your life and who does Vince see on his way home from work but the two jocks in another Ace Graphics store trying to get their project printed. The store manager sees Vince and pulls him into the store to fix the printing machine so their project can be run. That’s when Vincent realizes that one of the two football players is none other than Carson Cress, the college’s superstar quarterback who is all but guaranteed to go pro at the end of the school year. Carson Cress is gorgeous, and all but worshiped by everyone on campus. Everyone but Vincent that is.

Vincent is small, gay and a bit of a loner so why is Carson Cress pursuing him? Vince can’t wrap his mind around the fact that the biggest man on campus seems to want him, bio nerd that he is. Especially when Vince thought along with everyone else on campus that Carson Cress was straight. Then one night turns into a date and Carson makes it plain he wants a relationship with Vince but he can’t be out. What is Vince to do when the man of his dreams comes with secrets and different goals in life?

In Vincent Wade Mary Calmes has once again given her readers a character to love and cheer for. Vincent Wade has overcome many obstacles in his young life. Small in stature and pretty features made him an easy target in a high school that let bullies have their way. When Vincent came out in school, his mother and ultra conservative step father threw him out of the house. Only his best friend’s parents kept him from being homeless. Vincent is uber smart, sarcastic and a little bit edgy. I just loved him. Mary Calmes has paired him up with a god of the football field in the form of Carson Cress, Emerson’s golden boy. On the surface, Carson Cress is that superficial jockstar we have seen time and again. But Mary Calmes gives Carson hidden depths and problems not readily apparent. It’s not just the university that has high expectation but his family as well. His father expects his son to turn pro and lives out his own football dreams through his son’s talents. No one has ever asked Carson what he would like to do with his life and he has gone along with his family’s expectations without an argument. If Carson Cress is the steamroller of the title, Vincent Wade is no pushover to my utter delight. His hormones may be saying “go” but Vince still manages to listen to his brain before committing to a relationship with someone who is closeted and will remain there to play in the NFL.

There are plenty of other characters to dwell on and revel in. Matt Cooksey, Vincent’s best friend and his family are at the top. Matt is so adorable that you forgive him just as Vincent does when Matt comes strolling back after a year’s absence to the apartment that should have been his and Vincent’s all along. And honestly? There is this friend of Vince’s, Kurt Butler. Every year Vince spends hours cooking for Kurt’s birthday party and Kurt has been his friend since their first semester at college. I don’t know what it is about Kurt but he really intrigued me and Mary Calmes has him looking at Vince in that “bend you over the counter” sort of way. Sooooo by the end of the book, I am thinking I would rather see Vince end up with Kurt than with the golden boy. I know, I know, sacrilege right? But that’s what happens with you populate your stories with people who make you sit up and take notice, even if they aren’t the main characters.

There is some angst and a traumatic event to get through. It is, after all, a Mary Calmes story. But that ending, well like I said. Vince seems so anchored in Lubbock with his job, and wonderful friends (Kurt, Kurt, Kurt) and degrees to finish that I found it a little difficult to get behind the ending. That is my quibble with this story, Vincent is just too darn stubborn and interesting for his own good. He is also as complicated as a Rubik’s Cube and deserves someone of that same intensity. And Carson for all his gorgeousness and nice personality seems like someone more to be steamrolled by Vince than the other way around.

So here I sit wondering how Mary Calmes feels about bribes. I could see a sequel to this, really I could. One where Kurt makes a reappearance. Do you think she would go for that? If you see her, just put a whisper in her ear. I will thank you for it, yes I will. In the meantime, pick up this book and make Vince Wade’s acquaintance. I just love that boy and you will too.

Keeping Promise Rock by Amy Lane

Rating: 5 stars

All it took was one look at Deacon Winter putting Lucy Star through her paces in the workout ring for Carrick Francis to fall in love. At first Carrick, aka “Crick”, thought it was the horse he loved and the farm called The Pulpit where the horse lived. But it wasn’t long before the “little Mex kid” as his stepfather Bob called him, realized that the beautiful boy in the ring was his true and final love. Deacon Winter was everything that was fine as far as Crick was concerned. He was patient, beautiful with his green-hazel eyes and sun streaked blond hair. Deacon was also silent, being painfully shy. For Deacon hardly ever talked but when he did, Crick listened. When Deacon’s dad took Crick home one evening and realized how bad the situation was with Crick’s stepfather, Parrish Winter told Crick’s mom that he would be taking the boy every weekend to help at the farm. Those weekends became Crick’s salvation, and refuge as Crick’s stepfather became ever more abusive. Crick stayed only to protect his younger sister from Bob’s rage.

As the years flew by, Crick’s love for Deacon thrived and deepened. As did Deacon’s love for Crick, as everyone around them but Crick knew. Just when Crick was set to leave for college, Deacon’s father dies and Crick stays in Levee Oaks to help run The Pulpet with Deacon. The sexual tension between them grows to the breaking point and Deacon gives in to Crick’s advances with tragic consequences for both of them. Crick takes Deacon’s stunned behavior after they make love as a rejection and makes an impulsive decision that will haunt both of them for the rest of their lives. Deacon is actually just stunned to recognize the depths of the feelings that Crick has carried within him for Deacon all these years. When Deacon realizes that his hesitation has been taken as rejection he runs after Crick but it is too late. He is gone.

The loss of Crick almost destroys Deacon. The separation does the same for Crick, the two men left demoralized and despondent by one rash decision. But the men had also made a promise to each other. “I need you, like I want you. Always and forever. I want you like I love you. Always and forever. Consider that a promise.” Now if only the world will listen and let them make that promise a certainty.

Keeping Promise Rock is one of my all time favorite reads. It’s my “go to” book when I need comfort, it’s the book I grab when I need to revisit old friends, curled up on a long winter’s night. It’s the book I reach for when I want to lose myself in beloved universe, full of people I have come to love and events that take me one more time on an immensely satisfying roller coaster ride of emotions. There’s tears of joy to go with the heartbreak and overwhelming love to conquer the despair of the events within. How I cherish this book.

Amy Lane is a master of characterization and the people she has created for Keeping Promise Rock are as timeless as they are memorable. We meet both Deacon and Crick as teenagers and watch them mature into men dealing with the tumultuous events that life has thrown at them. And not once does it ever feel less than completely real. It’s not just the depth and dimension of each character that makes them so authentic, it’s their dialog too. I could have someone read a conversation from the book between Crick, Deacon, and Deacon’s friend, Jon to me and I would never be confused as to which “voice” I am hearing. In fact, most of the time I am so completely enveloped in the story that I am shocked to find that the hours have flown by as I read.

Amy Lane understands people so well that how her characters react to life’s roadblocks and misunderstandings comes across as being as true to life as possible. It doesn’t matter whether Deacon is reacting to Crick fighting in the high school hallway or a devastated Crick sitting at Deacon’s hospital bedside after a car accident, trying to find the courage to tell Deacon what he had done. Every circumstance the boys find themselves in is a place others would find familiar. There is bullying, both at home and at school. And being out and gay in a high school where tolerance is an issue along with the consequences that comes with trying to deal with the issues stemming from intolerance in the classroom and on the playing field. The author gives us parental abuse where there should have been love and support. And we see how growing up under those conditions will leave their mark on the person, both in behavior and trust.

With that foundation laid, then certain actions become not only understandable but relatable. Lane never lets us forget that her characters conduct or behavior stems from a source that has a basis in reality. The fact that life is unfair can be visited upon the unwary in so many ways and Amy Lane delivers that emotional moment to us time and again and never to less than shattering impact. But if Amy Lane is outstanding in delivering life’s blows and making us feel them along with her characters, she is also balances the pain they feel with life’s joys and successes. We celebrate as they do when life and love comes triumphantly together, knowing full well that the path getting to that point was as hard and tortuous as real life itself.

What can be better than this? With Amy Lane’s books we acknowledge life’s fleeting moments and their impact in peoples lives as well as those relationships that speak of permanence and the costs carried with them. We get insight into human interactions no matter the age through characters like Deacon, Crick, Benny, Jon, and many others we want to visit again and again. Luckily for us, Amy Lane feels the same way, as Keeping Promise Rock is the first in the Promise series. Start with Keeping Promise Rock and read them all. You will love them as much as I do.

Here is the Promises series in the order they were written and should be read to throughly understand the characters and the events mentioned:

Keeping Promise Rock (Promises #1)

Making Promises (Promises #2)

Living Promises (Promises #3)

Paul Richmond’s wonderful cover is perfect for the story within.

Review of Fallen Sakura by April Moone

Rating: 2.75 stars (and that’s generous)

Sitting in his favorite spot, Manga artist Kobayashi Haru is watching the cherry blossums fall when he spies Sakurai Aki near him. Sakurai Aki’s cool beauty is mesmerizing and soon Haru is trying to engage the man in a conversation and asking for his phone number which Sakurai reluctantly gives him. Hokayashi Haru knows he falls in love easily and is just coming off a bad relationship but something about the withdrawn Sakurai draws Haru in and captures his affections.

But Sakurai Aki seems to be straight and Haru tries to hide his feelings even as their friendship progresses forward. Haru is forthcoming about his feelings, his friends, his family, even his ex but Sakurai remains a mystery. Sakurai doesn’t offer any information about himself to Haru and Haru accepts this even when their relationship turns sexual. Haru starts to think he has found his perfect man in Sakurai until his past is revealed to Haru in a manner unspeakably painful and shocking. Feeling betrayed , Haru cuts off the relationship and all communication with Sakurai Aki, listening to his friends. But his heart has a different idea when Sakurai returns to him asking for forgiveness.

What a mess of a book. I was really looking forward to this as a Japanese setting and characters hit many of my buttons but I can say that this entire story is a real miss in almost every respect. What I can’t figure out is where to place the blame? It’s not with the plot, that’s ok. It’s not even with the secondary characterizations or even the character of Sakurai Aki. The whole blighted mess falls directly on the shoulders of the main character of Kobayashi Haru. This character and the author’s viewpoint is the issue here.

Take one hot mess of a main character and tell the story from his POV. This can work if the character’s problems are part of the storyline. Great books are full of characters full of faults, compulsions, and phobias if that is used to the plot’s advantage and makes sense within the whole of the story, whether you are dealing with hubris or redemption or both. It can be used effectively in humorous stories full of whacky characters doing wonderfully crazy things or books about society and cultural expectations. I am sure that just reading this brought a number of books to mind in every genre. Whether the characters are flying over the cuckoo’s nest or having sex in the city, solving crimes and chasing pigs about the English countryside, I normally take these creations to heart with all the appreciation and verve of a starving woman at Thanksgiving dinner.

None of that happens here. Let me give you a list of Haru’s characteristics and I think you will get an idea of where I am going here. Kobayashi Haru is:

A 28 year old Manga artist, supposedly shy with a predilection for relationships with men who beat him, abuse him, are into rough sex and pay no attention to his sexual needs. Haru is also a binge drinker with limited friends. Actually he has one friend, Jeff his American co worker and his Japanese wife. They are rightfully concerned about him but he disregards their advice and assistance. He talks to his dead mother (his father left early on) and while he says he is ok with his sexuality, it comes across as a timorous acceptance of his gayness. Haru feels that the beatings inflicted upon him by his latest boyfriend were his fault, and while Haru can’t stand to have his ex’s name mentioned, he wants to talk to him and explain the event that precipitated their breakup. And that breakup? Kenichi the ex boyfriend becomes jealous about not being invited to a party, so he beats and kicks Haru unmercifully until Jeff intervenes and then spits on Haru before leaving Haru broken and crying on the floor, not for the first time. In addition to being a victim of domestic violence, Haru also has all the emotional maturity of a teenager who throws tantrums, throws money in his friend’s face (a serious cultural no no) upon hearing advice he knows to be true and then starts drinking himself into a stupor all over again. This guy doesn’t need one 12 step program, he needs a gazillion of them to cover all his issues.

Right about now, you are probably thinking either that Haru needs to find a therapy group to attend 24/7 to work on his issues or that we will be looking at a serious take on domestic abuse within the Japanese culture or at least domestic violence within the gay community, an under reported crime no matter the country. Nope, not at all. You see, Haru is supposed to be a “happy, positive, naive” man child character that all look at with adoration and love. All the serious issues and character flaws are given light hearted treatments that never addresses the serious nature of the problems this character has been endowed with. The significant question as to why Haru needs to fall in love quickly with men so obviously damaged, why he lets them treat him in an abusive manner? All brushed under the rug with a simplistic “oh I deserve better” epiphany at the end. The binge drinking and immaturity? Nope, never addressed. And the fact that he relentlessly pursues an emotionally withdrawn “straight” man in Sakurai Aki? I think we are supposed to find that commendable, that he goes for what he wants even though it is also stated that Haru is intensely shy. *head desk*

Believe it or not, it actually gets worse. When Sakurai Aki’s “secret” is revealed, Haru is shocked to find out that Sakurai is gay even though Sakurai never said that he was straight. This was an assumption on Haru’s part and a strange one after they have made love innumerable times with Sakurai being the most attentive and tender lover Haru has ever had. You see, Haru thought that turning “straight” Sakurai Aki gay meant that Haru is special. So finding out that he was gay all along somehow negates that “specialness” for Haru. And the rest of the secret? Well, lets just say Haru’s blithe disregard of condoms, to Sakurai’s dismay, was not a good idea at all, but was in keeping with his emotional immaturity. Haru wants Sakurai when he thinks he’s straight? And is upset to find out he’s gay? Emotional immaturity and teenage expectations seem to reign supreme here.

You won’t find this hard to believe but the character I liked (other than the reasonable Jeff) is Sakurai Aki. Had he been a real character, I would have been telling him to report Haru as a stalker and giving him cab money out of the city, along with the advice to “run, just run”. But no, this is a HEA which begs more questions as to why than I have space to answer. Mostly, I want to know what the author was thinking. How do you bring up all these issues and imbue your main character with all these serious flaws and not address them? And no, “I like me, I really like me” is not addressing them. The spitting on the face? Serious cultural taboo not dealt with in a book that makes a big issue of the American character’s intentionally incorrect Japanese terminology. I did some investigation and found that domestic violence in Japan is a growing problem not addressed by laws and regulations but that was never brought up here either. All in all I am just floored by April Moone’s cavalier treatment of so many serious issues. This is the first book by April Moone that I have read so I have no other reference to judge her writing by to see if this is a typical story of hers. I certainly hope not. I wouldn’t wish this book on any reader that I know of.

“A fallen blossom does not return to the branch; a broken mirror cannot be made to shine”. —Japanese proverb. This proverb opens the story Fallen Sakura. It’s too bad that the author did not take it to heart. Or maybe she did not understand it. For this broken mirror was shattered from the start and nothing that followed could ever put it right.

Cover: Beautiful cover by Anne Cain. This book does not deserve it.

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