Winston has been gone for less than a week and most of the time I can’t wrap my mind around that fact. I still turn expecting him to be there and fixed his special breakfast yesterday morning and put it on the floor before I once more realized he wasn’t there to eat it. It was not a good morning.
And I am not alone in my grief. Willow and to a lesser degree, Kirby are with me as well. When Willow arrived, Winston was already king of the house and it took him a while to get used to her but when he did, they were frick and frac, four pawed companions in everything. He slept on top of the pillow on the bed and she slept under it, they shared meals and water bowls and even their opinions of the mouthy parrot in the family room.
So when I put Winston’s food down my mistake, Willow just sat and looked at me with sad eyes. When Kirby thought that it was a shame to let it go to waste and went to get his share, there was Willow in his face, refusing to let Kirby near Winston’s bowl. She is pensive and unusually quiet, staying Velcroed to my side. Nights are the worst, listening for his snorts and snores that never come. Both of us toss and turn all night long.
Went to the South River yesterday to meet up with some of our DC Metro M/M group for some much needed distraction. Those that knew were wonderful but I just can’t talk about him yet. Write yes, talk no. Sitting there by the water, listening to the laughter and friendly banter, seeing friends and meeting new ones made me feel lighter in spirit and let me smile when I thought of Winston watching the ducks go by.
I know it was his time to go, and that Willow and I will find a measure of peace soon. We will always miss him , he is such a huge part of us, he will always be close by ,in our hearts and memories. Nothing can take that away, and nothing will.
I have to admit I wasn’t very functional last week and my reading somewhat abandoned. So I hope you all will forgive me if this week’s list is more of hopes projected instead of reviews already written. I have good days and bad so only time will tell. This is what I hope will happen this week. And thank you all for your support and comments. They were needed and loved.
Monday, June 10: Prelude (a Blue Notes book) by Shira Anthony and Venona Keyes
Tuesday, June 11: The Jouster’s Lance by A.J. Marcus
Wed., June 12: Flawless by Cat Grant
Thursday, June 13: Hangman’s Ghost (Night Wars #1) by Missouri Dalton
Friday, June 14: One Breathe, One Bullet by S.A. McAuley
Sat., June 15: Stonewall by Martin Duberman
So have a good week and wish for me, Willow and Kirby a better one. I will leave you with the Goodread Quote of the Day, a favorite of mine.
“Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings”
― John Gillespie Magee Jr.
About this quote:
Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words 
Hugs tight. I’m thinking of all of you.
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It will take time and you must work through your grief in your own way and in your own time. Do whatever helps you and the sun will shine again. Even now I still find it hard to believe my Oscar is gone. But I believe he is with me still and I have seen him washing himself on the sofa, out the corner of my eye. My thoughts and blessings to you and yours. ((Hugs))
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Don’t feel bad about not being up to writing reviews. Take your time and try to find some peace and distraction. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy and it takes a while until things are getting better. All of us pet owners will understand! It’s amazing how much pets and humans are alike, isn’t it? They love and mourn and miss their friends just as much as we do. Poor Willow probably needs your whole attention right now. When I had to separate my horses, who have been living together for 15 years, for a 10 day period because one had to undergo surgery, the other one really didn’t know what had happened. At first she was confused and searched everywhere for her friend and then she became really angry with me, like “What did you do to Tipsy? Where is she?”. Later she was just sad and very very focused on me, going all “Don’t leave me, too!”. I spent a lot more time with her daily than normal, she needed her petting/grooming and walks way more.
Just know you’re not alone 🙂 (((hugs)))
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Thank you all, your thoughts and wishes are helping me through this difficult time. If you could see Willow and how she is acting, you would be crying just like I am. She is so clearly missing him, won’t let Kirby near “his” water bowl or food dish. Kirby keeps licking her but it is not making a difference. We both need time.
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Beautiful poem. We grow to love our animals so deeply and they leave us far too soon. I treasure every day with my aging and wonderful Serendipity. My heart aches for you. *hugs*
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