Release Blitz and Giveaway for Yakuza Path Box Set by Amy Tasukada

 

 
Blood Stained Tea
 

A bloody past haunts him. A devastating present calls him back…


Nao hides from his violent past in the Japanese mob by opening a teahouse in Japan’s cultural center, Kyoto. His past comes flooding back when he discovers a gravely injured man with a tattooed chest, a bloody knife, and a Korean business card.


Saehyun would’ve died if not for Nao’s help. He knows nothing of his savior’s connection with the local mafia, but Saehyun has his own secrets. He commands the Korean mafia, the mortal enemy of Nao’s former syndicate.


As Nao and Saehyun grow closer, so does the strength of the Korean mob. A shocking murder pulls Nao back into a past he’d all but abandoned. War is looming, and Nao must choose between protecting Saehyun or avenging the honor of his old mafia family.

 
Better Than Suicide



A twisted cop. A mob on the verge of self-destruction…


Nao Murata is the new Godfather of the Matsukawa syndicate. When Detective Yamada confronts Nao over a dead drug dealer, the Nao knows his organization isn’t responsible. The Matsukawa doesn’t deal drugs… or does it?


When Nao discovers drugs in a locker owned by his syndicate, he no longer knows who to trust. With the police bearing down on the Matsukawa, Nao must make unlikely allies to find out the truth. Can he discover who is betraying him before time runs out, or will everyone suffer for a crime he didn’t commit?


One Thousand Cranes


When a body goes missing, a young Yakuza’s life hangs in the balance…


Aki Hisona’s latest promotion is a cause for celebration. But because his new job is working as the personal secretary for the Yakuza’s Kyoto-based godfather, it’s also a cause for dangerous envy. He takes an invitation from a friend for congratulatory drinks, but Aki never thought the night would end with a deadly knife fight…


Aki is tasked with disposing of his friend’s corpse, but there’s one problem: the body is missing. As body parts surface around town, it’s only a matter of time before the police piece together the clues. But keeping one step ahead of the cops may not matter if Aki can’t solve the mystery before his cold, unforgiving godfather boss does…

 
The Deafening Silence


An unproven alliance. A broken promise. A mafia boss must shed blood to secure peace…


Nao Murata is on the verge of brokering peace between his syndicate and the rival Mafufgumi mob. To seal the deal, he’ll need to pick up Russian prostitutes to appease his newest ally. When the exchange goes sour, both sides draw blades and Nao has no choice but to care for a blood-soaked enemy. If the man doesn’t make it through the night, Nao and his crew will pay with their lives.


Outnumbered and stranded in enemy territory, Nao is forced to fight his way out before the Mafufgumi Godfather takes the deal off the table. As his wounded enemy’s heartbeat slows, Nao must act fast or condemn his syndicate to a brutal turf war.

Amy Tasukada lives in a catless home in North Texas. (She enjoys cats but can’t quite make that kind of commitment yet.) As an only child her day dreams kept her entertained, and at age ten she started to put them to paper. Since then her love of writing hasn’t cease. When she’s not chasing after stray cats, she can be found drinking hot tea and filming Japanese street fashion hauls on her Youtube channel.


https://www.amytasukada.com/
https://www.youtube.com/user/amytasukada
http://www.facebook.com/amytasukadaofficial/
https://twitter.com/@amytasukada

 
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1 oz of Cream Oolong tea (Nao’s favorite tea!)
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1 autographed copy of The Deafening Silence
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Like a Little Kink to Spice Up Your Romance? Check out the Blog Tour for Waited So Long by JM Dabney (excerpt and giveaway)

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Waited So Long

J.M. Dabney

Genre: MM Daddy Kink/Light Age Play/Domestic Discipline Romance

Release Date: 06.18.19

Waited So Long Cover

Cover Art by J.M. Dabney

Cover Image – Golden Czermak/Furious Fotog

Cover Model – Caylan Hughes

Blurb

What happens when your best friend’s son comes home and he’s all grown up?

Devon Hoffman has a secret. He’s wanted a Daddy all his own, but when you’re pushing fifty, you’re completely over the hill. Newly divorced and trying to be single again after an almost thirty-year relationship, he’s lost and needs someone to ground him. Except he’s anxious and his depression intensifies until Bern returns after leaving the service and the younger man suddenly takes an interest. Can he let his guard down and risk losing his best friend or should he do whatever is needed to keep his secret safe?

Universal Link: books2read.com/u/49owYw

EXCERPT

I locked myself in my house and went to take care of emails and study my itinerary. I could retire, but what would I do with myself? At least work kept me busy. It distracted me from the loneliness. I worked because I had nothing left.

I took a seat at my drafting table as I worked on the new design for my client. His steel monstrosity would clash with everything around the building. It was a showpiece that had no more value than broadcasting his wealth. Once again, my brain went back to wondering if it was time to retire, maybe working for myself, but I felt I was too old to start over. All I felt was doubt and insecurity.

When I was younger, I’d felt confident and fearless. Every day was ripe with possibility, and now I weighed everything by what was expected of me. I felt as if my life was over with; I wasn’t even fifty and hopelessness weighted me down. When I looked in the mirror, I could only see what I was and not what I could be. That, out of all the recent events, was the hardest reality to accept. I viewed myself through a skewed lens Lawrence had shaped.

My fantasies were still a cause of shame just as they were for the past thirty years. I’d forbidden myself from demanding what I wanted because what would people think when they knew the real me. The person who existed beneath the façade. The respectable architect in a small suburb who was just a shadow of his former self.

I was a middle-aged man with silver-streaked hair and a belly, who dreamed of the impossible. I tossed my pencil aside and got up. My mind wasn’t in it, so a shower and early to bed. Tomorrow was a new day.

JM logo

J.M. Dabney is a multi-genre author who writes mainly LGBT romance and fiction. They live with a constant diverse cast of characters in their head. No matter their size, shape, race, etc. J.M. lives for one purpose alone, and that’s to make sure they do them justice and give them the happily ever after they deserve. J.M. is dysfunction at its finest and they makes sure their characters are a beautiful kaleidoscope of crazy. There is nothing more they want from telling their stories than to show that no matter the package the characters come in or the damage their pasts have done, that love is love. That normal is never normal and sometimes the so-called broken can still be amazing.

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/J.M.DabneyAuthor/

Twitter – https://twitter.com/jmdabney_author

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/authorjmdabney/?hl=en

Reader Group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/585182991553194/

Amazon Author Page – https://www.amazon.com/J.M.-Dabney/e/B006QZIFLE

Mailing List – http://eepurl.com/dzWnIn

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Release Blitz and Giveaway for Recipe For Romance by Ari McKay

 

 

Blurb


Four couples, four different stories — and one spicy Recipe for Romance from author Ari McKay!


Welcome to Montgomery House, Charleston’s finest restaurant. When you walk in the front doors of the stately former mansion, you’ll be surrounded by true Southern charm. Owner Rhys Montgomery will personally welcome you, while the tantalizing scents of Executive Chef Stephen Pierce’s latest culinary masterpiece linger in the air. Enjoy a walk in the gardens or an elegant meal in the dining room, as you watch the love stories play out around you…


Bay Leaves and Bachelors — Clay Turner’s heart was broken by a wealthy man who said he was boring. When rich, outgoing restaurateur Rhys Montgomery sets his sights on the quiet academic, drawn in by Clay’s intelligence and sex appeal, he finds he has an uphill battle to win Clay’s trust. Can Rhys burrow his way into Clay’s heart, or will Clay’s insecurity become a wall between them that not even true love can break down?


Fennel and Forgiveness — Seven years ago, Max Boyd broke Darius Cooper’s heart. Darius wanted a commitment, and Max wanted to focus on his career in Georgia’s television industry. Their ten year difference in age and experience tore them apart, but fate throws them back together when Max arrives at the Montgomery House, where Darius now works. Will Southern Wedding Belles bring them a second chance for love or is Darius’s trust too shattered for Max to heal?


Ginger and Gentlemen — Ian Pierce has lived in his older brother Stephen’s shadow his entire life, always feeling second best. His best friend, Matt Davis, is the only person he trusts to be on his side. Despite being in dire financial straits, Ian wants to refuse Stephen’s request to film an episode of Mouth of the South at Ian’s restaurant, but the bonus money offered in the contract is too much to resist. He accepts without knowing the hefty bonus comes from Matt, not the production company. Will Ian feel betrayed by the one person he trusts above all others when he finds out, or will Matt’s desire to help Ian succeed even at his own financial risk take them from friends to lovers at last?


Cinnamon and Seduction — Chef Stephen Pierce has talent and a determination to succeed that is matched only by his fierce temper and prickly personality. Yet his long-suffering personal assistant, Robert Logan, has carried a torch for Stephen since the day they met. Everyone around Montgomery House knows Robert is in love with Stephen — everyone, that is, except Stephen himself. Can Rhys, Clay, Darius, Max, Ian, and Matt find a way to make Stephen see that Robert is the perfect man for him, or will even Robert’s legendary talent for matchmaking fail to win him the man he loves?

Ari McKay is the professional pseudonym for Arionrhod and McKay, who have been writing together for over a decade. Their collaborations encompass a wide variety of romance genres, including contemporary, fantasy, science fiction, gothic, and action/adventure. Their work includes the Blood Bathory series of paranormal novels, the Herc’s Mercs series, as well as two historical Westerns: Heart of Stone and Finding Forgiveness. When not writing, they can often be found scheming over costume designs or binge watching TV shows together.


Arionrhod is a systems engineer by day who is eagerly looking forward to (hopefully) becoming a full time writer in the not-too-distant future. Now that she is an empty-nester, she has turned her attentions to finding the perfect piece of land to build a fortress in preparation for the zombie apocalypse, and baking (and eating) far too many cakes.


McKay is an English teacher who has been writing for one reason or another most of her life. She also enjoys knitting, reading, cooking, and playing video games. She has been known to knit in public. Given she has the survival skills of a gnat, she’s relying on Arionrhod to help her survive the zombie apocalypse.


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New Release Tour and Giveaway: Breaking Ground (Rocking Racers #8) by Megan Lowe (excerpt)

Author: Megan Lowe
Title: Breaking Ground
Series: Rocking Racers, book 8
Genre: Contemporary M/M Romance
Release Date: June 8, 2019
 Available now! 
Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2VJQMgt
All other links: books2read.com/breaking-ground

Mason Thompson hates motorbike racing. It’s stupid, pointless, and dangerous. The glorified man-children who partake in this idiocy are even worse. None more so than Liam Ryan.

Liam Ryan is cocky, and he has every reason to be. There’s not a person on the track—or off it—who can get the better of him. He’ll be damned if drop-dead gorgeous paramedic Mason Thompson is the first.

But when events and overzealous bloggers seek to force them even further apart, will they risk everything to be together?

Will they break ground and realise sometimes the greatest risk results in the ultimate reward?

Breaking Ground is a M/M romance prequel to Megan Lowe’s Australian sports romance series. This book can be read as a stand-alone novella.

 Available now! 
As I double-check the supplies in the medical centre, I tell myself for what has to be at least the ninety-seventh time in the past two hours that this will be good experience and look impressive on my résumé. At twenty-one, I’m in my last year as a paramedical science student; then there’s just two years on-the-job training. If I will indeed be a paramedic, I need to get used to thinking on my feet, working in unfamiliar places and in situations I may not know a lot about. Volunteering at the National Racing Series ticks all of those boxes, even if I think the event is nothing more than an excuse for man-children to strut around and try to figure out who has the biggest… engine.
Motorbike racing is dangerous and frankly unnecessary. All racing is. What does it prove? That the winner can go round a track the fastest? Whoop de doo.
It’s good experience, Mase, I remind myself.
It might be, I reply, but it’s still idiotic.
Great, now I’m talking to myself.
“I told you, Pop, I’m fine,” someone says just outside the doors.
“And Reed is fine trying to take on that nutcase Hunter David,” someone—Pop, I presume—replies. “Just get your arse in there.”
A second later, a guy—he can’t be over eighteen—struts through the door. I say strut because that’s what he does. He has the build all the riders do. Not tall, I’m going for about five nine-ish, slim but strong, solid but not overly so, slightly bow-legged, with longish dark brown hair, deep brown eyes, and a smirk on his face. If I’d seen him on the street, he’s definitely someone I’d give a second glance to. That face…. But meeting him here, knowing what he does? No, thank you.
“Can I help you?” I ask.
“Yeah, my pop wants me to get checked out even though I told him I’m fine,” he says. He’s cradling his right hand, and although he clearly doesn’t want to show it, the edges of his smirk pull slightly.
“Are you in pain?” I ask, stepping forward and grabbing his gloved hand.
“Nah.”
I give him my best no-nonsense look. “If you’re in pain, I need you to tell me. Check all that macho he-man shit at the door, all right? Pain is the body’s way of letting us know something isn’t right.”
He hisses as I gently pull off his glove.
“Yeah, not so tough now, are we?” I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I can’t help myself. These guys, they act like they’re doing the world a favour, going round on their bikes at frankly ridiculous speeds.
“Screw you, man,” he says, pulling his hand out of mine. “I came here for help, even though I didn’t want it and I certainly don’t need it.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah, it is.” He hitches his chin.
“Bend that finger, then.” I motion to his clearly broken index finger. “You can’t, can you?” I ask as he struggles to do it. “That’s because it’s broken. It’s going to need surgery and a pin inserted to stabilise it.”
“Look, buttercup,” he says, “I don’t have time for this. Give me a jab for the pain and strap my fingers together. I’ve got a bike to ride.”
I shake my head and cross my arms. “I don’t think so. There’s no way I’m declaring you fit to race, not with an injury like that.”
I glare at him, and he at me, neither of us willing to back down.
“Ah, excuse me?”
Although it kills me to, I break the staring competition and turn my attention to the guy who came in with arseface here.

 

***

Rocking Racers Series!
 
Book 1
 All buy links HERE
 
Book 2
All buy links HERE
Book 3
All buy links HERE

Book 4

All buy links HERE

Book 5

All buy links HERE

Book 6

All buy links HERE

Book 7

All buy links HERE

Megan Lowe is a lost journalism graduate who after many painful years searching for a job in that field, decided if she couldn’t write news stories, she would start listening to the characters whispering stories to her and decided to write them down.  She writes primarily New Adult/Contemporary Romance stories with Sport and Music themes. She is based on the Gold Coast but her heart belongs to New York City. When she’s not writing she’s either curled up with a good book, travelling or screaming at the TV willing her sporting teams to pull out the win.

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Blog tour for Surviving the Shadows (The Bearer of Truth #2) by Miranda Turner (excerpt and giveaway)

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Surviving the Shadows

The Bearer of Truth – Book 2

Miranda Turner

Genre: Gay Urban Fantasy

Release Date: June 14thSurviving the Shadows Cover

Cover Design: Lou Harper

BLURB

Gabriel has been gone longer than predicted, and Evander is growing increasingly worried each day that passes without his return. Confounded by their leaders’ lack of answers, Evander and the team begin to fear the worst.

In the midst of fruitlessly searching Miami for clues to the Daemon Abaddon’s whereabouts, Evander begins to have disturbingly vivid dreams. With a little help from a newly-returned and empty-handed Michael and Barabbas, Evander discovers Gabriel has been calling out for help across their nascent bond. With a little backup from an unlikely source, they set off to rescue Gabriel from the depths of the Underworld.

Gabriel is old friends with torture, and his captors haven’t been gentle. Despite growing weaker every day, Gabriel resolves to survive long enough for rescue, or to die fighting, until a Dark Seer begins to dredge up the terror of Gabriel’s horrific childhood, threatening to destroy his mind and soul. Nearing the end, Gabriel manages a last-ditch effort to contact help, reaching out to Evander in his dreams.

Against all odds, Evander and the team fight through the Underworld to reach Gabriel and come face to face with mortality. Sacrifices made for the bonds of brotherhood nearly break them, and Gabriel learns the hard way that embracing the darkness while fighting for the light may be the only way to survive.

From the underbelly of Reno to the glitz and glam of Vegas, Gabriel, Evander, and the men they call family will be tested, and the final confrontation with Gabriel’s maker may be the end of everything they hold dear.

http://getbook.at/SurvivingTheShadows

SurvivingTheShadows Teaser 1

SurvivingTheShadows Teaser 3

EXCERPT

“His aura has indicators that he practices or has practiced dark magic, but his underlying nature is fighting against it. Right now, his aura resembles an ouroboros.”

“A what?” Delsin asked.

“It’s a circle made out of a snake that is consuming itself. It’s supposed to symbolize wholeness or infinity, but in this case, our young magical friend over there is in trouble. If his magic continues to consume itself, there won’t be a renewal of life but a loss of something good and right as his magic perverts into something dark and unrecognizable.”

A visible shiver moved down Delsin’s body, causing him to wrap his arms around himself; clearly he’d been shaken by Nico’s words. “Can we help him?” Gabriel asked Nico.

Nico sighed. “Your savior complex is raising its ugly head again.” Delsin snorted, but Gabriel just stared Nico down. “Aren’t we supposed to be looking for your dad?” Gabriel stayed silent and lifted one eyebrow. “Ugh…fine, geez.” Nico stomped toward the teenage magic user with Gabriel and Delsin following close behind him, Gabriel’s face breaking out in a shit-eating grin.
Miranda Turner Logo

Miranda Turner is a single mom of eight living outside a small, hippie town in the middle of Ohio. She’s surrounded by children, chickens, and one temperamental editor kitty who is silently judging her on a daily basis. She is a voracious reader and an editor who decided she had different stories to tell. She firmly believes a happily ever after is there for everyone, but she likes to make her characters earn it.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authormturner

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/author.miranda.turner/

Email: author.miranda.turner@gmail.com

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BLOG TOUR and Giveaway for the Shatterproof Bond series by Isobel Starling

 

 

 

Shatterproof Bond series by Isobel Starling

– As You Wish (#1)

 

– Illuminate the Shadows (# 2)

 

– Return to Zero (#3)

 

  • Counterblow (#4)
  • Powder Burns (#5)  *COMING SOON!*

Series: Shatterproof Bond

Genre: M/M Romance Thriller

Order here:

As You Wish: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B012T8J92U

 

Illuminate the Shadows: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01ELOXC

 

Return to Zero: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01FHYJWTS

 

Counterblow: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072LP9Y9N

 

Synopsis for Shatterproof Bond:

  • As You Wish:

WINNER OF THE 2018 AUDIOBOOK REVIEWER AWARD FOR ROMANCE

1 wedding, 2 best men, one hell of a love story!

 

Declan Ramsay was set to be best man at his brother’s wedding in Scotland, sharing best man duties with the bride’s gay kid brother Sam. Sam was abroad finishing his studies so the best men communicated by email for more than a year and wouldn’t meet for the first-time until a few days before the wedding.

But on meeting Sam Aiken, Declan is surprised to see he isn’t a kid at all, but a striking, athletic blond man with gorgeous green eyes and a wicked sense of humor. Declan is alarmed by the ferocious attraction he feels for Sam. And as the attraction is reciprocated, the events at Dunloch Castle change everything Declan has ever believed about himself.

But is Sam Aiken all he appears to be?

Also available in paperback and as an award-winning audiobook, narrated by Gary Furlong.

 

  • Illuminate the Shadows:

A Scotsman and an Englishman fall in love…

After the most amazing week of his life, at Dunloch Castle on the banks of Loch Ness, in Scotland. The charming, mysterious Samuel Aiken has turned Declan Ramsay’s life upside down. Declan has experienced a remarkable change. He has come to terms with the fact he is bisexual, and he has fallen head-over-heels in love with his boss’s son Sam.

However, falling for his boss’s son was never going to be an easy path to happiness, mainly because the boss in question is multi-millionaire property tycoon and former MI5 operative, Sir James Aiken.

Sir James is repulsed by his son’s homosexuality, and so discovering that his employee Declan Ramsay- the man he installed to run his luxury property rental empire- is in a relationship with Sam, does not go down well.

The lovers cannot hide from the looming presence of Sir James Aiken for long! Soon enough James makes his move, and Declan finds out what he will have to endure to stay with Sam, and what he will have to give to feel worthy of Sam’s love.

  • Return to Zero

Life takes a darker turn for Sam and Declan…

Pulled into a world of secrets and lies for the man he loves, Declan Ramsay’s life has changed immeasurably in the eight months since meeting, and falling for his boss’s son, Sam Aiken. Declan journey of personal discovery is about to take a darker turn, and for Sam, the world becomes more treacherous than he could ever have imagined.

Two agents are missing — presumed dead, while on a reconnaissance mission at an outdoor adventure centre in the Scottish Highlands. Sir James Aiken sends his son and Declan to follow the trail, and discover the fate of the agents.

As the mission offers his first chance to use the skills he learned on the MI6 training course in Morocco, Declan is keen to get started. However, Sir James sees to it that the seeds of doubt and discord have been sewn between the couple, as they begin their mission.

The journey to their Highland location, and the discoveries they make when they reach the G’wan Adventures centre, prove that Sir James Aiken has been less than honest with his son. Events in the Highlands force Sam and Declan to face their greatest fears, and understand what they both really want from life — and from each other.

Counterblow:

True love comes at a cost…

After the devastating events in the Scottish Highlands, Sam and Declan have moved on to a new, deeper level in their romance. Their commitment to each other is unquestionable; however, there are plenty of questions that need answering about other aspects of their lives, and those who sought to end them.

Sam is trying his best to deal with the day to day frustrations of his injuries. He’s completely dependent on Declan for everything and hates the way the scales have tipped in their relationship. Although he’s officially on leave, Sam’s mind cannot stop replaying all that happened to him and questioning why, and who is behind it all.

Declan’s relief at having Sam home throws him into house-husband mode. He’s happy to take the reins and care for his partner, however, beneath the surface Declan cannot help but be drawn back to how he felt in the Highlands, and how they were betrayed by a man who was supposed to have their back. Declan had promised Sir James Aiken that he would pay if he hurt Sam, and now Declan has to decide how he can deliver his payback and put his and Sam’s world back on an even keel.

Excerpt from “As You Wish” (#1):

“Uh hmm.”

Declan’s head shot around to see Sam standing by the Gothic windows at the far end of his room.  He was wearing just a gray T-shirt and jockey shorts that looked like Denim hotpants.  Damn!  Declan’s heart stuttered at the sight.

“How the hell did you get in here?”  Declan exclaimed in disbelief, his heart now thudding in his chest with shock.  He hadn’t heard his bedroom door open, in fact, he was sure the door was locked.

“Magic.  You must know all fairies have magic!” Sam replied playfully.  Declan’s stress dissolved, and a glorious boyish smile brought his face to life, Sam was infectious,

“There’s a hidden panel, a doorway between the rooms… for the Laird and Lady’s conjugal visits, I expect.  The button is here, in the dado rail,” Sam explained.  

Declan stood and his gaze locked on the blond man… on the underwear, he wore that looked like Denim.  Jesus!  Declan was overcome by the roar of desire in his veins.  The air in the room seemed to crackle with electricity.  Declan’s body took no time in responding to the sight of those long, tanned legs.  He hesitated for a beat of his heart and then prowled across the room to meet Sam head-on.  Without a word, Declan’s hands were on Sam’s shoulder and Sam was pushed near violently to the wall.  Declan moved closer in a stride and crushed his body to Sam’s.  He rested his brow on the younger man’s brow and paused, his chest rising and falling with heaving shallow breaths.  Their mouths were only an inch apart, their hot, mint-scented exhalations mingling.

“What are ye doin’ te me?”  Declan demanded in a pained small voice, laced with confusion.  His brain was telling him he wasn’t into men, but his body was screaming with desire… for a man, this man.

“What do you want me to do?”  Sam countered, not allowing Declan’s gaze to move from his own.  

The intensity of that stare, the intimacy… it was all making the shell that Declan believed to be his only refuge, crack.  

Excerpt from “Illuminate the Shadows” (#2):

“This is important te me.  Sam and I are a couple, and we wanted to share our happiness with you and Belle, just as you shared yours wi’ us.” Declan glared at Ollie who now wouldn’t even look him in the eye.  The silence was palpable, and the more Declan looked at his brother, the more he began to pity him.  After several minutes Oliver couldn’t hold his pinched, scowling expression any more.

“It wasnea supposed te be like this,” He burst out suddenly, sounding like a whiny brat.  “You were supposed te meet a nice lassie, and we’d have son’s and take them te football, and hiking an’ fishing.  Normal stuff, ye know.”

Declan winced at the outburst.  Normal stuff… bollox te that!  

“Oliver, that’s not me.  That was never me.  And as fer meetin’ a lassie, I’ve tried, a lot.  I tried for so many years te be like the other lads, but I hated the man I became.  I was goin’ through the motions, and it made me so fuckin’ unhappy.” Declan ran his hands over his bearded face and into his hair.  Oliver was silent and taciturn.  Declan decided to try another strategy.

“When you wake up in the morning wi’ Belle sleeping beside ye.  How’d ye feel?”

Oliver’s glance darted to meet Declan’s.  “Why?”

“Just say, fer fucks sake”

“I guess I feel… peaceful, contented, I suppose.  She looks beautiful, like a fairy princess, or sum’ thin’,” He admitted candidly.

“And you know ye love her, fer certain?”

“Aye, from the moment I laid eyes on her at that Aikens corporate party.”

“Well, since when do straight people have first dibs on happiness?  Eh?”  Declan challenged.  “I’m attracted te women, and I’m attracted te men, but I have never woken up beside anyone feelin’ anything, but discomfort, like I was in the… wrong place.  I felt sick, I felt like a liar.  Every.  Time.  And it ate away at me.  It’s no’ fair te me, and it’s no’ fair te the women I was foolin,’” Declan took a breath to organize his thoughts.

“But Sam…  Sam is different.  Jesus, if I could only put into words how he makes me feel.” Declan felt the tears crowd his eyes.  Talking about his feelings had always been difficult.  He’d been the stereotypical emotional cripple before Sam, but this time words flowed unbidden.  

“I know who I am when I’m wi’ him.  When I wake up in his arms, I’m so at peace I don’t wantae get out of bed.  He makes me laugh until I cry.  He always cares for me, no matter that I’m a maudlin, moody control freak.  I look at him, and fer the first time in my life, I’m home.” Declan paused to catch a breath “If you truly think our love is wrong… well… tough shite.  This is my life, and he is who I choose to live it wi’.  If ye cannae be happy fer us, I just feel sorry fer ye.”  The words felt clumsy and poorly constructed, but he needed to say them, and he hoped his brother would hear and accept them.

Sam and Annabelle stood in the open doorway, listening to their partners talk.  Belle’s hand was absently rubbing her brother’s back for comfort as Declan explained how he felt for Sam.  

“I’m so happy for you.” She said, “I can’t believe we’ve hooked brothers.” She drew Sam into a hug and when they parted Declan was standing at the door.

“Can I have a go?” he asked with a wry smirk on his face.  Sam gripped the front of Declan’s shirt and pulled him into an embrace.  The downstairs door slammed.”

Excerpt from “Return to Zero” (#3):

“SAM!  Are ye home?”  Declan hollered as he opened the front door.  “Sam?”

“In here!” Sam’s distant voice filtered from the spare bedroom.  Declan was in a buoyant mood, at last, after weeks of waiting, he’d received a call from his boss.  He sauntered confidently towards the bedroom and knocked once before walking in.

“Why d’ye no’ pick up?  I’ve called ye, like, six times already!  James wants us in fer a meet —” Declan stopped, and in the way, only Sam Aiken could do, the breath was stolen from his lungs.  

Declan’s yoga mat was laid out in the center of the large bedroom floor, and upon it, a shamelessly nude Sam Aiken was facing the tall antique mirror that rested against the wall.  He was on his belly, his back bowed, and his palms pushing against the floor as his shoulders rose, in the midst of the cobra pose.  

Declan slumped to sit silently on the king-size bed and watch.  He stared, bug-eyed and slack-jawed at all of that flawless pale skin, wrapped around an athletic, slim frame.  Declan adored how pliant and supple Sam was.  He reveled in the sight of corded muscles moving beneath the taut surface of the younger man’s skin, like the workings of a well-honed machine.

Ignoring his voyeur, Sam pushed himself up from the cobra pose, so he sat back on his calves.  He closed his eyes and focused on his breath, and then, when he was ready, placed his palms flat on the mat, level with his knees.  Then, putting all of his weight on his hands, Sam drew his legs out to either side of his body, doing the splits, balancing solely on his hands.  

Declan’s bearded jaw dropped open, and his heart skipped a beat at the impressive sight.  The mirror allowed Declan to observe Sam from many angles, and the view was exquisite.  He knew there was a reason he was home early, but, whatever the hell it was, it could wait.  

Sam aligned his legs and brought them up above his head, so he was in a handstand position, and there he stayed for a minute, his breath shallow and barely audible.  There was not one tremble in any of Sam’s muscles.  It was awe inspiring.  Sam was the very picture of oneness — strength, control, balance, and agility.  The lines of Sam’s form were sinuous and erotic, and there was no stopping the hot, hot hunger that made Declan’s whole being shudder with need.

Sam’s spine arched back and with incredible discipline, his body bowed slowly, until the soles of his feet were placed firmly on the yoga mat, and Sam was in the crab position.  He was trying so desperately to focus on his own breath and to remain centered, but Declan was breathing heavily through his nose, like a stag readying for the rut, and even though Sam could not actually see him, Declan’s presence always came with the prickle of otherworldly electricity.  It really was like they were magnetized.  

The sound of heavy breathing was doing things to Sam’s body that he just could not control.  His heart beat faster, beads of sweat littered his brow and formed on his chest, and his pale cock reddened, filled and rose majestically, providing an extra spectacle for his handsome observer.  Sam arched his spine to its capacity and inched to his toes and fingertips.  He stayed like that, his muscles clenched tight and his cock standing straight as a flagpole awaiting its flag.  After a minute, he slowly unclenched his muscles and allowed his body to ease its way gently back to the mat.  Each movement still effortlessly controlled.

This naked yoga routine was on the list of the most erotic things that Declan had ever seen in his life.  And now that Sam was on his back, his eyes closed, with arms stretched above his head.  Declan decided that this was his opportunity to pounce.

Excerpt from “Counterblow” (#4):

In a deep, sexy Scottish drawl Declan said: “Open up fer me.”  Sam’s lips parted in anticipation, and Declan leaned in and drew Sam’s plump lower lip between his own and sucked.  

The rasp of beard against his soft skin made Sam’s whole body shudder with need.  And as Declan’s tongue pushed into Sam’s mouth, his slick fingers teased, circled, and then after several minutes pushed into Sam’s asshole.  Sam’s body erupted with desire, and for a moment he forgot all about his injuries, focusing instead on that hot, wet tongue probing his mouth and the thick, long, fingers in his ass, mirroring the darting, swirling movements of Declan’s tongue.  Sam whimpered with the headiness of the throbbing sensation in his groin and was hard in an instant.  His awkward left hand grabbed for his shaft and began slow languorous strokes to match the rhythm of finger and tongue.  Sam could feel Declan’s cock swelling as he rocked it lazily against his hip.  Declan moaned into Sam’s mouth, and it was one of those filthy wanton sounds that made Sam’s heart cartwheel in his chest.  They kept the rocking, probing rhythm up for several minutes before Declan pulled his fingers out and reached for a love egg.  

This particular make of love egg had been specially designed for men.  It had an extra long cord attached that was to be wrapped around cock and balls acting like a cock binding, and then the egg could be slipped inside and not disappear further into the body.

“It feels like nothing’s there,” Sam exclaimed, sounding a little disappointed when Declan pushed the love egg up his ass.  In his clean hand Declan held the remote control.  The settings were one to five for the intensity of vibration.  He sat back on his heels; fixed Sam’s gaze, and then pressed the ‘on’ button.

Sam’s hips shot up, and his cock stood to attention.  “Fuuuhhhhhk,” the sound came out in a strangled exhalation of breath.  His head dropped back onto the pillow as if his neck bones had turned to jelly and his expression was fixed in a near cross-eyed, slack-jawed embodiment of pleasure.  Declan turned the device off, but Sam could still feel his prostate fizz and throb delightfully.  

“Jeeeesus, that’s so—fucking—intense.”  He could hardly form the words.  ”What setting’s it on?”

“Umm…  Five.”  Declan chuckled guiltily.

“You bastard,” Sam hit out, striking Declan’s chest with a slap.  “Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?”  He scolded.  The sensations in Sam’s groin and balls made his cock ooze a dribble of sweet, clear pre-cum and on seeing it Declan leaned down to lick it up.  The action stopped Sam’s brain in its tracks, and he forgot why he was whingeing.  He held Declan’s head on his dick “Yeah.  That’s it, take it all the way down.” he moaned.  Declan did as he was told and opened his throat to accommodate Sam’s slender shaft for long, deep sucks.  Then Sam grabbed a handful of Declan’s unkempt hair and dragged Declan’s mouth off him.  Declan’s eyes sparkled wickedly and he panted breathlessly.  His parted lips were wet, pink, and engorged.

“Turn around.  Yo quiero comer tu culo”, Sam commanded.  

It was a tone that Declan hadn’t heard in quite a few months, and the sound of Sam speaking Spanish made a dart of lust flare.  Bemused, he did as he was told and presented his ass.  Sam’s one good hand roamed over the tautly muscled cheeks, and then he leaned in and sank his teeth into Declan’s flesh.

“Aggghfjkj” Declan roared.  “Yer no’ supposed te take it that literally,” He complained.

“The interpretation is for me to decide, loverboy,” Sam said, and then kissed over the bite.  He continued kissing until his face was buried between Declan’s musky cheeks.

Author Bio:

Isobel Starling spent most of her twenty-year professional career making art in Ireland. She relocated to the UK and, faced with the dreaded artist’s creative block, Isobel started to write and found she loved writing more than making art.

Isobel now writes full time, and loves writing Thrillers, Comedy, and Fantasy. In nearly six years she has written nineteen books, released twelve audiobooks and has translations of most titles in French, German and Italian.

“As You Wish” (Shatterproof Bond#1) narrated by Gary Furlong won the Audiobook Reviewer Award for Romance 2018. It is the first M/M Romance audiobook to win a mainstream audiobook award.

Author links:

https://www.decentfellowspress.com

Newsletter: https://isobelstarling.wix.com/books

Instagram: @isobel_starling

Twitter: @isobel_starling and @decentfellows

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/isobel_starling

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Isobel-Starling/e/B00U1MKE5I

 

Giveaway:

Win a Shatterproof Bond Art Zine. This limited edition glossy zine features artwork of the main characters, Sam and Declan, by a host of artists the author commissioned, and art by the author herself:

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If You Love Adventure and Romance in Your Fiction, Join the Blog Tour for Finding Alexander by Pandora Pine (excerpt and giveaway)

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Finding Alexander

Pandora Pine

Gay Romance/ Action-Adventure

Release Date: 06.11.19

Finding Alexander Cover

Blurb

Indiana Jones meets Clark Kent in this modern-day treasure hunt.

Archaeologist Cairo Vanderbilt was born to be a treasure hunter, whether he liked it or not. When his famous father dies in search of the tomb of Alexander the Great, Cairo picks up the trail to find the world’s most famous lost treasure. Having failed once before, he’s determined to find Alexander’s remains and fulfill his family’s legacy.

History blogger Dillinger DeCosta has only written about the past from the safety of his South Boston office. After hearing Cairo speak about the coming expedition on the evening news, he wants to join the hunt for Alexander and finally be on the front lines of history-in-the-making. By offering to come along, Dillinger is taking a huge risk, but he’s banking on an even bigger reward.

Hot on Alexander’s trail, Cairo and Dillinger discover sparks between them that ignite unexpectedly. One of the men has a secret that may threaten not only the success of the expedition, but their new relationship as well. If they can’t find a way past the challenge that lies between them, they might just lose the greatest treasure of all.

Each other.

getbook.at/FindingAlexander

Finding Alexander Graphic 1

Finding Alexander Graphic 6

Finding Alexander Graphic 4

Excerpt

When we’d gotten back to the hotel, I’d stomped up to my room like a spoiled child. This is where I’d been for the last two hours. Alone and trying to figure a way out of this mess.

A knock at the connecting door between my room and Dillinger’s startled me out of my pity-party for one. Sighing, I headed to the door, pulling it open. What I saw was a bit of a surprise.

“You missed dinner.”Dillinger breezed past me and into my room, setting the dinner tray he was holding on my table.

I watched in awe as he started pulling lids off the plates. There was no way in hell I deserved this kind of treatment. He’d even brought me dessert.

“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I grabbed a bit of everything.”Dillinger’s intense green stare was boring into me.

To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure how to react. No one had ever done anything like this for me, not even Memphis when I was sick and miserable.

“You could have at least said thank you.”Dillinger strode back toward the doors connecting our rooms.

Shit…“No, wait.”I took off after him, grabbing his left elbow with more force than I intended. I yanked so hard that Dillinger crashed against my chest. My left arm reached out to steady him, pulling him closer to me in the process. He was warm and solid. It could have been my raging hormones, but holding him felt good, like I was home.

I knew my wistful thoughts were on the money when my body responded to his instantly. My cock was hardening and unless I missed my guess, so was Dillinger’s. This was wrong on so many levels. There was so much I needed to say to the man I was holding in my arms, but the only thought running through my head, on a loop, was. “Kiss him!”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sick of the slogging rat-race of her 9-5 job, Pandora Pine put pen to paper (literally!) to make her ambition of becoming a romance novelist a reality. She cut her teeth in the dog-eat-dog world of fan fiction, still dreaming of the day when she would be a published author.

In her spare time, Pandora fancies herself an amateur nature photographer. She enjoys mucking around in swamps, hiking through the woods and crawling around on her hands and knees in her backyard seeking out the perfect shot. Pandora is a fan of roadside seafood shacks and always thinks Mexican food is a good idea at the time.

Some of Pandora’s favorite things are chocolate, writing longhand with purple pens, and handsome men falling in love with each other.

FB Author: https://www.facebook.com/PandoraPine/

Amazon Author: http://bit.ly/PandoraPine

IG: https://instagram.com/authorpandorapine/

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Paul Richmond and his LGBT Artists of Pride Month. This Week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Paul Richmond and his LGBT Artists of Pride Month.

 

Pride Month continues and this week I wanted to highlight something that Paul Richmond, an amazing artist some of you may recognize only through his covers for Dreamspinner Press or other of it’s houses, is doing this month.  Over at his facebook page Paul Richmond Studio every day this month, Paul has taken a different LGBT artist, past or present. Highlighted their works, talked about why this artist has meant so much to him, or perhaps the struggles this artist has had to go through.  The journey through different eras, artistic lives and styles has been a revelation!

Some of these artists I have known about (I was a art major in college a stone age ago).  But the majority?  An astonishing collection of LGBT beauty, pain, and rawness that art can deliver in so many forms.

Paul and his husband are in San Francisco this weekend for Pride at the Harvey Milk Photo Center where Paul’s work is part of the Stonewall 50 Years celebration going on.  The artists Paul has highlighted this month have crossed eras, genders, borders and countries. Their art and passion flows out from watercolor , from oils, from photography, from every medium you can think of.  Sometimes the juxtaposition of time and styles is startling.  A painting simple, modern, and powerfully elegant yet painted in the early 1900’s.  A photograph so haunting and dark it feels ancient and yet taken so recently.  So many discoveries here at Paul’s Paul Richmond Studio FB page this month.

Here is just a small roll call of the artists Pau is featuring:

Kevin Peterson, Caravaggio, Drew Riley, Jay Elizondo, Kim Leutwyler, Robert Sherer, Grant Wood (who painted the well known American Gothic), Ryan J. Stephens, Lisa McLymont, Briden Cole Schueren, Andrew Salgado, Zanele Muholi, Michael Breyette, Lotte Laserstein,and more.

To see them all and their works each day, head on other to Paul Richmond Studio FB page.  Along with their stories, Paul offers up his own remarkable journey from small town boy dreaming of Dolly Parton to successful artist.

Because we are talking about artists, let’s do a Artists Recommendations List.  It can feature Artists that are Photographers or Painters!  Let’s see what you all come up with!  How about potters?

 

Now about our Novel Recommendations!  Last week was Drag Queen Week!

We added quite a few more stories to last week’s list of Drag Queen book recommendations.  Thank you to our readers and my reviewers to filled in with so many great stories.  Here is the updated list:

 

Drag Queen M/M Recommendations

The Belladonna Arms (5 books)by John Inman

Queens of the Apocalypse by Rob Rosen

Mary, Queen of Scotch by Rob Rosen

The Queen & the Homo Jock King (At First Sight #2) by T.J. Klune

Bad Dogs and Drag Queens (Rose and Thorne #1) by Julie Lynn Hayes

Kev Series by Liam Livings (from Suze)

Freak (The F-Word 2) by E. Davies (all recs from HB)
A Dirty Drag Collection (Dirty Drag 1, 2, 3) by Kyle Adams
What The Lady Wants by D.C. Juris
Sylver and Steele series by Mimi Riser
Le Jazz Hot by Clancy Nacht & Thursday Euclid
Appearing Nightly (Icon Men 2) by Cat Grant
Max & Skyler Series by Acer Adamson
Dressed to Thrill by Kimberly Gardner
Rayne’s Wild Ride by Jambrea Jo Jones
Leather+Lace (Opposites Attract 2) by A.B. Gayle

Embraced in Gold by T.A. Chase (also know by these titles Embrace My Reflection/ Bring Him Gold)
Lucky Starflowers (Steel City 5) by Kate Pavelle
Hearts and Flour by Tara Lain
Finally Fallen (The Dark Angels 3) by Z. Allora
A King’s Ransom by Aislinn Kerry
My Girl (Captivated Lovers 3) by Stormy Glenn
Chyna Doll (Horizons 4) by Mickie B. Ashling

Lola Dances by Victor J. Banis — no longer on MLR, but can get a paperback from Amazon and BnN

Who We Are by Nicola Haken
Let’s Hear It for the Boy by T.A. Webb  (all from our reviewer Chaos Moondrawn)

Did I still leave any of your recommendations out?  Please help me fill in that list.  Send me the books and stories I’ve left out and lets see those drag queens represented!

Special Note:  Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is looking for Reviewers!  We are looking for reviewers for our blog.  If you love to read or listen to LGBT stories and share your thoughts about them with others, consider reviewing with Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words.  Please send all inquiries to scatteredthoughtsandroguewords@gmail.com.  We look forward to hearing from you.  We are very flexible about how many reviews each reviewer takes on.   That’s entirely up to each reviewer’s own schedule.

And now onto our week ahead.

This Week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Sunday, June 23:

  • Paul Richmond and his LGBT Artists of Pride Month.
  • This Week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words
  • BOOK BLITZ – VARIOUS AUTHORS – HOT SUMMER NIGHTS
  • A MelanieM Review:Love in Every Season by Charlie Cochrane

Monday, June 24:

  • BLOG TOUR Shatterproof Bond series by Isobel Starling
  • BLOG TOUR Finding Alexander by Pandora Pine
  • An Alisa Review: Malachite (Brotherhood of Ormarr #4) by Michele Notaro & Sammi Cee
  • A MelanieM Review A Dance Too Far (Too Far #1) by H.L. Day
  • A Barb the Zany Old Lady: Audio Review Diplomatic Relations (The Sci-Regency #4) by J.L. Langley and KC Kelly (Narrator)

Tuesday, June 25

  • Tour:”The Demon of Hagermarsh” by Beryll and Osiris Brackhaus
  • BLOG TOUR Another Dance by L. A. Ashton
  • A Melanie Review A Step too Far (Too Far #2) by H.L. Day
  • An Alisa Audio Review : Prophesy (The King & Alpha #1) by  A.E. Via
  • A Lila Review The Demon of Hagermarsh (Virasana Empire: Sir Yaden #1) by Beryll Brackhaus and Osiris Brackhaus

Wednesday, June 26:

  • Blog tour Surviving the Shadows by Miranda Turner
  • I Wished for You by Collette Davison Audio BLITZ
  • An Alisa Review: Surviving the Shadows (The Bearer of Truth #2) by Miranda Turner
  • A Lucy Prerelease Review : Love & Tea Bags (Pink Rock Series #1) by C.F. White
  • A Barb Audio Review : Will & Patrick Wake Up Married Series (Episodes 1-3) by Leta Blake & Alice Griffiths /John Solo (Narrator)

Thursday, June 27:

  • Tour: Breaking Ground by Megan Lowe
  • BOOK BLITZ – VARIOUS AUTHORS – HOT SUMMER NIGHTS
  • A VVivacious Review Change of Heart” by KM Neuhold
  • A Melanie Review Another Dance by LA Ashton
  • A Lucy Review: Who We Used to Be (Do-Over #1) by Dara J. Nelson

Friday, June 28:

  • Release Blitz Signal – Ari McKay – Recipe For Romance
  • DSP PROMO Heidi Cullinan
  • BLOG TOUR Waited So Long by JM Dabney
  • A Chaos Moondrawn Review: Ledgers and Rent Boys (Ore 5 #2) by Meraki P. Lyhne
  • A MelanieM Review:The Doctor’s Date (Copper Point Medical #2) by Heidi Cullinan

Saturday, June 29:

  • COVER REVEAL Treasure Trail by Morgan Brice
  • Release Blitz  – Love’s Glory by Janice Jarrell
  • Release Blitz Lily – Bernard’s Diary by S. L. Danielson
  • A MelanieM Review – Love’s Glory (Revolutionary Heart #3) by Janice Jarrell

Release Blitz and Giveaway for Beyond The Curtain (Social Sinners #4) by TL Travis

 

Buy Links: Amazon US | Amazon UK | Universal LinkExclusive to Amazon and Available to Borrow with Kindle Unlimited.
 
Length: 60,000 words approx.



Social Sinners Series


Book 1 is the only book in the series that can be read as a stand-alone.
Book 1 – Behind the lights (MM) – Amazon US | Amazon UK
Book 2 – In The Shadows (MM) – Amazon US | Amazon UK
Book 3 – A Heart Divided (MMM) – Amazon US | Amazon UK
Book 4 – Beyond The Curtain (MM)
Book 5 – After The Final Curtain (MM/MMM)


Blurb


For Social Sinners’ drummer, Ethan “Diamond” Taylor, everything that went wrong seemed to roll off him and life was about having fun and getting off. What others never saw was what simmered beneath the surface.


Holding on by a string, things have reached their breaking point, taking a turn for the worse, and he’s forced to make some tough decisions. Is living in the limelight all that it’s cracked up to be? Or is it time to cut the cord and move on?


Is it in the cards for him to have the whole marriage, white picket fence, a desk job and…kids?


Diamond’s story is one of strength, love, loss and hope.

 

Author Bio


TL Travis is the author of The Sebastian Chronicles along with numerous other erotic novelettes (and many more in the works), The Elders Trilogy – an erotic paranormal (Vampire) romance novel series and many non-fiction articles.


In her spare time she likes to fish, enjoy all the Pacific Northwest has to offer, spin spicy erotic webs for readers to enjoy, and rescue any 4 legged lost souls she comes across. Since her children are grown and have flown the coop, she’s taken to spoiling her two deaf white boxers even more so than they were before.


To view TL Travis literary and photography works please visit her website atwww.tltravis.com
TL Travis can also be followed on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/tltravisauthor
Or via twitter at http://www.twitter.com/tltravis1

 

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Love a Slow Burn Romance? Check out the Book Blast for Impossible Things (Star Shadow #2) by Beth Bolden (excerpt and giveaway)

Book Title: Impossible Things (Star Shadow series #2)

Author: Beth Bolden

Publisher: Beth Bolden Books

Cover Artist: Cate Ashwood Designs

Genre/s: Contemporary MM Romance. Friends to lovers. Slow burn. Rock star romance.

Heat Rating:  4 flames

Length: 80,000 words

Release Date: June 10

Add on Goodreads

 

Buy Links – Available on Kindle Unlimited

Amazon US |  Amazon UK 

 

It’s never the end . . . it’s only the beginning.

Blurb

For the last ten years, Benji and Diego have not only been members of Star Shadow, one of the biggest boy bands in the world, but best friends. During the years of fame and fortune they’ve also held a front row seat to the callous cruelty of the music industry. As much as they’ve both wanted more from their relationship, it never felt worth it to trade what they have for something hot, heady and completely impossible.

But is it really?

After welcoming back their long lost member and making it through their reunion tour with a new lease on fame, life suddenly seems too short to continue settling for safety.

Benji and Diego could have everything they’ve ever wanted, but can they figure out how to choose each other? Despite every impossible thing the world intends to throw at them?

It’s never the end . . . it’s only the beginning.

 

Excerpt

“Are you okay?”

Benji glanced up and of course it was Diego. Of course it would be him who’d know that something was wrong.

He cleared his throat, his tongue suddenly thick in his mouth. The panic hadn’t faded entirely yet, and he felt too close to the edge still, but Diego reached out and cupped his shoulder with his hand. The fear retreated a little more.

If he couldn’t be honest with Diego, could he be honest with anyone?

“I was just thinking of the last bow, the one we took when we didn’t know it was the last one,” Benji admitted.

After a moment of hesitation—which Benji understood entirely, their friendship sometimes seemed like a walk through a minefield—Diego pulled him into a hug. His hands hovered over Diego’s shoulders before giving in and gripping him tightly.

They stood there together for a long moment, holding on to each other. Benji let his head fall down to Diego’s shoulder, but otherwise they didn’t move.

“It was hard, because we didn’t know it was over, but it was over,” Diego finally said, the sound of the stagehands beginning to take down the stage around them punctuating his words. “But it turns out that it’s not really over after all.”

Benji didn’t want to say that some mornings he woke up and for a split second he still thought it was over. That he sometimes had to remind himself that he wasn’t on his own again, that he wasn’t struggling with a career that didn’t fit quite right, that he didn’t miss his boys so much he ached, that he hadn’t ultimately crashed and burned.

“It’s hard to forget, sometimes,” he said, even though he hadn’t really meant to say anything at all.

Diego pulled back, and even in the dim of backstage, Benji could see the empathy in his eyes. “You know, you’re more than your achievements,” Diego pointed out softly.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t been told that before, but something about the earnest belief in Diego’s voice made him want to believe this time. The problem was knowing, with crystal clear clarity, what he was capable of. And never being able to settle for less than that, without that ugly voice yelling in his ear that he’d failed again.

“I know.” Benji’s smile was wry. “Theoretically.” Reluctantly, he let go of Diego. Too long holding him, too long of them holding each other, and he was going to want even more than he already did.

Diego laughed. “Yeah, that’s the whole problem. Theoretically. You’re rich and famous. You don’t need to work so hard all the damn time. You’ve made it, Benji.”

All theoretically true.

If only that voice would shut the fuck up sometimes.

“Yeah,” Benji said, rolling his eyes. “I know.” He paused. He and Diego had been practically inseparable this tour, but it was ending tonight, and they had two weeks in LA before the recording sessions on the new album started. Even though they’d spent so much time together already, the idea of a two-week break from Diego hurt. It had never hurt before. Somehow, Benji knew, they’d crossed that point of no return. Friendship alone would never be enough again. Had it been the kiss? He could barely remember it, it had been so short and brief. Nothing like he’d always imagined. He’d wanted a do-over for the last six months, but maybe they needed more privacy for that.

“Hey,” he started again hesitantly, “we should get together when we get back to LA.”

Diego was leading the way back to the green room and didn’t look at Benji. “I’m not sure. I’ll probably be busy with Ana.”

Benji knew how much he loved his daughter, and how much he’d missed her on this tour, even though his ex, Vicky, had brought her to as many tour stops as she could. So he didn’t know what to say to that. Even though it was probably true, it was hard not to see it as a brush-off. Diego was good with people; he wouldn’t give a brush-off that felt like one. He’d make it sound legit, all to spare Benji’s feelings.

The question was why was he brushing him off, right after hugging and reassuring him? Benji didn’t know, and didn’t know how to bring it up, because they were walking into the green room, and Max was spraying the walls with a bottle of sparkling apple juice and Leo and Caleb were dancing to the Black Eyed Peas, their favorite post-show soundtrack.

 

About the Author

A lifelong Oregonian, Beth Bolden has just recently moved to North Carolina with her supportive husband. She still believes in Keeping Portland Weird, and intends to start a chapter of Keeping Durham Weird.

Beth has been writing practically since she learned the alphabet. Unfortunately, her first foray into novel writing, titled Big Bear with Sparkly Earrings, wasn’t a bestseller, but hope springs eternal. She’s published eleven novels and four short stories, with Impossible Things, the next book of the Star Shadow series, releasing in June 2019.

 

Author Links

Blog/Website

  Facebook

  Twitter

BookBub

 

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