Expected publication: December 12th 2016 by Dreamspinner Press
ISBN 1635331234 (ISBN13: 9781635331233)
Edition LanguageEnglish
Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words
Daydreaming! Reviewing LGBTQIA Books, all formats ! Binge Watching A World of Romance
Noel Beebe is unlucky in love as can be demonstrated by the fact that he never even got to see the last guy he fell in love with. Now Noel is back on social networking sites to get another chance at love and Ethan might just be the answer.Rating: 2.5 stars out of 5
Nate has been in love with Quinn, his brother’s best friend, for as long as he can remember. But when he finally gets the chance to show Quinn how he feels, his heart gets broken in the most unexpected way.
Second chances come when you least expect them…
Quinn doesn’t believe in miracles, especially not Christmas ones. When he decides to win Nate back he knows it won’t be easy. The last thing he expects is a health scare, a road trip and a vicious snow storm to work in his favor.
In the end, a cabin in the woods turns out to be not only the shelter they desperately need, but also Quinn’s very own Christmas miracle.
Sometimes, to forgive, you need to get snowed in…
Like many of my friends who reviewed this story, I found it difficult to get past Quinn’s character. The young man, who supposedly loved his best friend’s brother, finally declared his love, had sex with him, and then promptly disappeared the next morning, leaving behind a brief note saying that he was sorry, but he had to go. Nice job, Quinn, you jerk.
So, Quinn hit the top of my {fill in the blank} list within the first half hour of the audiobook. And pretty much remained there throughout the story. Yes, when he finally showed up again two years later, he eventually got around to telling Nate why he left. And yes, it was a good reason, but no, it was not enough of a reason to have snuck off and cut off all contact with the man he “loves” for two whole years. Just no. Sorry. That ruined the story for me.
Granted, I know people do stupid things, so I expect them to have consequences and to own up to those consequences. But not Quinn. Clueless Quinn comes back into Nate’s life without prior notice and then has the big ones to be jealous when Nate comes out of the bathroom with a one-night stand in tow.
Honestly, if I wasn’t so put off by his behavior, including later behavior of confessing his undying love etc. I may have enjoyed the story. The premise of two guys on their way home for Christmas but getting stuck in a cabin together and finding the flame of their love was never truly put out is sweet for a holiday story. But I couldn’t justify Quinn’s behaviors with his words. There was no balance there. Compounding the problems I had with the story, the narrator felt way too young for the characters portrayed in the book. Don’t get me wrong. He was good, very good, actually, but his voice sounded like he was a young teen, so I think he’d be better for YA work.
So, no recommendation on this one, unless you don’t mind that one MC is a jerk.
Cover art is nice but pretty standard with a back view of a naked man holding a Santa hat to cover his cheeks. And based on the description of the characters and the voice given to them, I can’t see either of them being as muscular as the man on the cover.
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Audiobook Details:
Listening Length: 3 hours and 7 minutes
Audible Audio, 4 pages
Published November 14th 2016 by Teodora Kostova (first published November 30th 2015)
ASINB01MFH4G4B
Edition LanguageEnglish

Grace Kilian Delaney author of Seven Minutes is here at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words talking about Seven Minutes, her latest release, and answering questions on writing. Welcome, Grace!
Can love be found in seven minutes?
Heavy metal singer Stone Manson never acknowledged his attraction to men. But when he meets sexy cross-dresser Devon at a party and ends up paired with him for a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven, he can’t deny his reaction. His confusion leads him to mess up—big time—with Devon, but after some soul-searching, he decides to do everything in his power to show Devon how he feels.
Devon doesn’t make a habit of dating closeted men, and he isn’t about to be anyone’s experiment. It’ll take a lot to convince him that Stone is serious about a relationship, but Stone is certainly giving it his best effort—and Devon is warming up to the idea of the hot, tattooed rock star in his bed, and maybe even in his life. And when a threat from Devon’s past reemerges, Stone might offer just the support Devon needs to get through it.
Stone
We walked into the dimly lit hallway. In the half-light, Devon’s features softened. He was… beautiful. Honestly and naturally beautiful. For the first time in fucking months, my dick decided to come to life. WTF. But he had these perfect lips that begged to be kissed, I swear. They looked so soft. And his fair skin would make any supermodel jealous. How’d he get so clean-shaven? Wax? Women waxed their mustaches…. Did he?
Internal bells and warnings went off, reminding me Devon was not a woman… well, he lacked feminine parts, but that probably didn’t make him less of a woman. I mean, women get hysterectomies and mastectomies and they are still women. So what if Devon didn’t have the parts? Everything else about him was pure feminine. Did I seriously just think that? I rambled. I never ramble.
I had seven minutes with the perfect excuse to explore these feelings. If Matty could grind away on emo boy without anyone thinking twice about it, then I could most definitely taste those lips.
“We don’t have to do anything.” He shifted, knotting his fingers together. “You seem pretty straight and—”
A loud yell came from the other room, reminding us to use tongue.
“And I’m not. So no pressure.”
Devon sucked in his bottom lip, dragging his top teeth against it. He looked scared shitless, like I might pummel him for being stuck here with me. His gaze darted around in the semidarkness. It hit some trigger inside of me, some protective urge. I’d seen that look as a kid: the fearful expression of waiting for a beating. Seeing it on his beautiful face twisted my gut.
No one better ever fucking hurt you, kid. I’d make sure of it.
He gave me the out I had hoped for. Sure, I could hang here for a few more minutes and remain completely safe, never knowing what his lips tasted like, or if his body felt as feminine as it looked, or what those long fingers felt like stroking my back—
Aw, fuck it.
My heart jumped into my throat as I leaned in and kissed him. Those intoxicating lips tasted of vanilla and a hint of the sugary margarita thing he drank. I kissed him some more, sucking on his bottom lip, running my tongue across it. He let out an approving groan, and damn if that didn’t make my dick swell. I sucked harder, and then I nipped. More sounds, moans, encouraging me to continue. Ignoring the part of my brain reminding me Devon was a dude with dude junk dangling between his legs, I parted his lips with my tongue, forcefully diving into his mouth as if he supplied my oxygen and I couldn’t get enough air.
My limbs electrified as he slammed me against the wall, pressing his hips and his groin against mine. Fucking turned me on to be thrown like that. I grabbed his waist, pulling him closer as I continued plundering his mouth. A low, hungry growl rumbled as he rutted against my jean-covered cock. Painfully hard, I welcomed the friction of those hips, wishing I could bury myself inside of him. Him. Fuck. I couldn’t feel his dick, and it disappointed me. I reached down to his front, risking being swatted away—I mean, how fucking rude is that to grab someone’s junk when KISS and TONGUE were the directions? Through our kisses, I felt him smiling.
“Let’s save that for later, sweetie.” He lapped my bottom lip before biting it just enough to shoot a jolt of pleasure straight to my groin. Holy. Fuck. I swear that move was so fucking hot, my lip blistered from the heat.
I dove in again, kissing him, running my hands along his lithe frame, feeling the curves of his body, his pert ass, forgetting all about the seven minutes until the annoying voices from the other room yelled.
“Time’s up!”
Devon broke off the kiss, eyes wild and dilated. A mischievous know-it-all grin shone on his face. I stole another kiss, feeling a sense of pride knowing his lips were swollen because of me. I kissed a boy and I liked it. And I didn’t know what in fuck to do with that information… aside from push it down.
Grace Kilian Delaney lives somewhere in paradise—mentally. In the wee hours of the morning, and with an audience of a dog and two cats, she writes about hot and horny men. Thankfully the animals don’t care if she talks to herself, which she does albeit quietly as to not wake her husband. When not writing words, Grace can be found composing music, pretending she’s an opera singer, playing piano, twisting herself into yoga positions, or sweating it out at the gym.
FaceBook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/GraceKilianD
Twitter:
@GraceKilianD
BLOG
http://Gracekiliandelaney.wordpress.com
Amazon Author Link:
Jake Tyler walked out of Special Ops two years ago, a devastated, broken man after he discovered his sister brutally murdered by her husband, Riley. Since then he’s found a kind of peace running a rural bar. The last thing Jake Tyler expects is his former team to turn up with grim news. Jake’s ex-brother-in-law has escaped from prison and is heading Jake’s way. The team is here to protect Jake, whether he likes it or not – a decision reluctantly shared by their leader, Jake’s ex-lover Mitch Mitchelson.
Mitch is angry and hurting. The man he trusted – the man he adored more than anything – abandoned both his team and Mitch. Jake never gave Mitch a chance to help or come to terms with his desertion. Regardless of mission protocols, Mitch isn’t about to open his heart again to that kind of pain.
But the strong attraction between them can’t be denied. How are they ever going to work together when Mitch still resents Jake’s disappearance, and to Jake, the team represents everything that destroyed him in the first place? And meantime they wait for Riley to find them… and to settle the threat once and for all.
Sue Brown is owned by her dog and two children. When she isn’t following their orders, she can be found plotting at her laptop. In fact she hides so she can plot, and has become an expert at ignoring the orders.Sue discovered M/M erotica at the time she woke up to find two men kissing on her favorite television series. She had an Aha moment and put pen to paper that same day. Sue may be late to the party, but she’s made up for it since, writing fan fiction until she was brave enough to venture out into the world of original fiction.
Come over and talk to Sue at:
sue@suebrownstories.com
Her website can be found at:
http://www.suebrownstories.com/
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/suebrownstories
Twitter:
http://twitter.com/suebrownstories
Blog:
http://suebrownsstories.blogspot.com/
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Series: For the Love of Christmas! Book 2
Author: Gillian St. Kevern
Publisher: NineStar Press
Release Date: Dec 12
Heat Level: 3 – Some Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 22600
Genre: Romance, Contemporary, Skiing, Vacation

Tired of being ridiculed as the man dumped in favour of an ugly Christmas sweater, Aston is determined to get revenge–by having his dream vacation at Ibiza’s hottest clubs! He’s even planned a social media campaign to make sure his ex, Dan, knows exactly what he’s missing.
When a snowstorm strikes, and Aston’s media campaign takes off before he does, he finds himself propositioned by his unwelcome roommate Mike: trade vacations, or Mike will out Aston as a fake. Desperate to save his reputation, Aston finds himself in Finland–and falling hard for a man with a sweater almost as terrible as Dan’s. Worse, Laaksonen cares as little about impressing people as Aston cares about being nice. Aston knows he has too much self-respect to fall for a man so hazardous to his reputation. But the long Polar Night poses the ultimate test to his Ibiza club dreams…
“What is Dan doing?” Aston frowned at his phone screen. “He saw the message. I know he saw the message. So where’s the reply?”
“He’s ignoring you.” Mike, Aston’s companion in the cupboard-like hotel room, didn’t even look up from his phone. There was not much to look at. The curtains were a faded geometric design that almost succeeded in making the stains look like part of the pattern, and there were cracks in the plaster ceiling. The carpet had given up on life altogether. Fortunately, their two twin beds took up most of the room, so they didn’t have to see much of the carpet at all.
If only the same could be said for Mike. Aston gave him a withering glare. The man had long, shaggy hair and wore a woollen jersey that—while thankfully bereft of hideous seasonal decorations—showed signs of being mended by hand. The overall impression was a university student who had never got around to graduating. Or even shaving. Mike was not Aston’s first choice to share a hotel room with, or even his second, third, or fourth. Unfortunately, the worst snowstorm in British history, cancelled flights, and a shortage of hotel rooms at Heathrow had led to Aston lowering his standards considerably. The only upside was that British Airways was footing the bill for the shared accommodation. “He’s not ignoring me.”
“Right.” Mike snickered. “Who could ignore knees like those?”
Of all the people Aston would have preferred to walk into the hotel room while he lay on his back on the carpet with his knees in the air, camera in hand, and laptop precariously balanced on the edge of his bed, Mike was the absolute last. He hadn’t offered to hold the laptop steady while Aston faked his beach photo, just leaned against the wall to watch, making disparaging comments. And when Aston had said ‘Do you mind?’ in his most cutting tone, Mike had simply grinned and said that he didn’t. “Shut up.”
“Why should I? This is as much my hotel room as it is yours, and to be perfectly honest, watching you fake beach photos was not how I wanted to spend my vacation.”
Aston sat up. “You’re not even going on a real vacation, just some crummy cut-price ski thing.”
“Hey, it was the best I could afford, and I’ve lost an entire day already. The group will have started without me. You, on the other hand, don’t need to play catch up in the clubs.”
Aston glanced uneasily at his computer. “At least Ibiza is a real vacation destination.”
“In summer, sure. It’s winter in Spain, you know.”
“Still warmer than here,” Aston shot back. “God, I want to be out of this country.”
“You’ve said. Repeatedly. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was rooming with a desperate fugitive. What’s the deal?”
Aston blinked. Mike was unexpectedly sharp underneath that scruffy exterior. “I’ve been working towards this vacation for years, honing my beach body, spending every night I could out clubbing. Ibiza has some of the best clubs in the world! Space has this amazing—”
“No, I mean…there’s more to this than liking a good time. When the flight attendant told you there was no way you’d be flying to Ibiza today, you practically broke down. You asked about other flights, if there was any way you could detour.”
“I want to get to Ibiza as quickly as possible.”
“You offered to go to Ibiza via Shanghai.” Mike put his phone down, sitting up to look more closely at Aston. “That’s a detour of eight to ten hours.”
“I want to be on my way. I can’t stand all this waiting around.” Aston shrugged.
“So you’d rather be crammed into a tiny airline seat instead? Just relax. British Airways is footing the bill, and they offered us an upgrade on future flights.”
Aston smiled slightly. “Business class is enough to make anyone jealous.”
“There! What did I tell you?” Mike crossed his arms. “You’re obsessed with this ex of yours.”
“I am not.”
Aston’s phone beeped with his message alert. He snatched it up, only to see that it was a google notification. He sighed, dropping it onto the bed, and met Mike’s eyes. “That could have been an important message from British Airlines.”
“Sure. Just accept the fact that you were dumped—”
“I wasn’t dumped! If anyone was dumped, it was him!” Aston sucked in a short breath. “I gave him an ultimatum. Shape up or move out.”
“What? At Christmas? Harsh.”
“Christmas is just like any other time of the year, except that everyone loses their collective minds about it.” Aston stood from his bed. “Nothing special about it—just exceptionally good marketing.”
“Spoken like a true advertiser. But you’re not working now. Doesn’t the thought of Christmas coming give you a sort of anticipation, a sense of wonder, of excitement?”
“All Christmas has ever given me was a feeling of dread. It’s a fake holiday for fake people.”
“All right, all right, sorry I brought up your deeply rooted Santa trauma.” Mike mirrored Aston’s actions, standing up. “The airline gave us complimentary meal vouchers. Want to see if we can trade them in at the bar for drinks?”
Aston shook his head. “Pass.”
“What are you going to do, sit and stare at your phone? You can do that in the bar with a drink in hand. Come on.”
“Not feeling it.”
“And you call yourself a clubber?” Mike paused in the doorway, sticking his wallet into the back pocket of his paint-splattered jeans. “I tell you, there is something about you that just doesn’t add up… Maybe I should scan the papers while I’m in the bar. If I’m rooming with an escaped convict, I want to know about it.”
Not good. Not good at all. Aston gulped. “You are not— For Christ’s sake. Fine, I’ll come to the bar.” He picked up his phone, patting his pocket to check he had his wallet. “But don’t expect me to like it.”
“No,” Mike muttered. “That would be entirely too much.”
Gillian St. Kevern is an author of paranormal romance and urban fantasy. Originally from New Zealand, she currently lives in Japan and has visited over twenty different countries. Her writing is a celebration of the diverse people she meets.
As a chronic traveller, Gillian is interested in journeys rather than endings, writing characters that grow and change to achieve their happy ending. Her stories cross genres, time-periods and continents, taking readers along for an unforgettable ride.
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Ash and Cinders is the third book in the Gabriel Church Tales. It’s been a successful series from the debut of Rubble and the Wreckage, and continues the story of a killer’s transformation from a soulless and driven madman to someone desperate to understand himself and his place in the universe in Torn and Frayed.
The final book, Ash and Cinders, places our main character of Gabriel Church in the greatest danger of his life. As a successful serial killer with delusions of some grand design in every murder, he proves to the reader that he is a remorseless and dangerous man. But the Gabriel Church tales are not what they appear, as fans find themselves rooting for the killer’s success and hoping that he will find love and peace with his one-time biographer, Christian Maxwell.
The series has received glowing reviews on Amazon and Goodreads, so I encourage you to see for yourselves what the fuss is all about. The first book in the series, Rubble and the Wreckage will be only 99c, and the second book, Torn and Frayed only $2.99, during the tour and up to the release of Ash & Cinders on December 5.
“…this book pulls no punches, makes no apologies, and basically kicks ass and takes names! Grab it if you want a mindbending, sexy read that will leave you wanting book two with a quickness!” (Bike Book Reviews)
“The sequel to RUBBLE AND THE WRECKAGE has torn and frayed my nerve ends to the extent that it’s difficult to write about it. This book is a careening ride to hell in an old Dodge truck, its slick tires and rusty chassis eating the miles along the hard pavement of southwestern U.S. highways, up the spine of California, to the bones of the northwest its driver had once left behind. It’s a road trip through a diseased mind. It’s the odyssey of a killer, and it’s the voyage of a pitiable soul seeking God.” (Amazon reader)
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Book Blurb:
“It’s just the devil’s share. When life evens itself out and every bad guy gets what’s coming to em’ . . . it’s one of the few balancing things life really offers.”
Gabriel Church
Gabriel Church has done a bad, bad thing . . . and normally that doesn’t bother him too much. But everything changed when he met Christian Maxwell. Chris became his unholy grail. The thing he sought more than any other treasure, yet still a priceless pearl beyond his reach. Nothing he does seems to solidify any prospect of them being able to remain together, to live that happily-ever-after story. Even if he were to make a promise to stop his killing in the name of God, it would still only be a salty futility to wet and tempt his lips.
Christian Maxwell discovered a damaged soul inside Church, with a goodness plumbed somewhere below the visible surface. He saw pain shadowing his killer like some trailing footprint left moist in the sand. But he failed to recognize each victim, or the costs of every action the fugitive took for granted. He simply pushed those faceless victims to the dark recesses of his mind, hiding them from plain view as if they were discarded things, recollections intentionally forgotten.
The one thing Church knows with certainty is the writer is the only person who really knows him, and the only man other than himself who possibly understands where they are both headed. But life is about to get more twisted and dangerous. It begins with a backwards Deputy Sheriff and that same ill-fated chance that always prevented him from slowing down his pace or finding a peaceful place to rest with Chris Maxwell by his side.
Excerpt:
Looking at the man from across the room, one would never have imagined how dangerous he actually was. The serial killer was hot and threatening in his own physical way, but there seemed to be a sympathetic kindness scratching below the surface of those mirror-like pupils of his. At times they looked bluish, while other times they appeared to be color of industrial slate. But in that instant, they reminded the deputy of humid childhood summers and seeing a cool slab of concrete in the shade beckoning him to rest upon it.
He had been drawn like a magnet after meeting the man he only knew by the name Carl Whiting. And from the first second they spoke, he found himself wavering under the killer’s impressive build and mischievous crooked smile. He hadn’t known at the time, but the name Carl Whiting was only an alias. Nor did he know that he was meeting a killer who’d claimed a multitude of victims over several years and many miles of this vast country. He only knew there was something unique about his country drawl and those sinful eyes that hinted with sexual tension and risk.
Facing Gabriel Church alone in a room without backup would be intimidating to anyone, to say the least. Even the weight of Deputy Corso’s holstered sidearm didn’t seem to offer him much security. The killer strangely didn’t appear anything but relaxed and surprisingly at peace with himself.
“You know I kinda like the idea of being hunted,” the killer said quietly. “It sort of makes my dick hard, as if you couldn’t tell.”
As he said that, Gabriel readjusted himself in his chair, shifting slightly and opening his legs wider apart. The deputy could see that even concealed under his faded blue Levi’s there was a sizable bulge exposed that indicated he’d been telling the truth. The killer’s smile hadn’t evaporated once since they’d begun talking, and it made the officer think it was intended as his own challenge, daring the deputy to make his move as was expected that he would.
Rodd lives in Dallas, TX and can be reached through his web presence at RODDCLARK.COM.
He is interested in the M/M Mystery, Romance and Thriller genres, but has varied interests and enjoys many different types of books. With a dark and distinctively disturbing voice, he creates characters which are flawed yet intriguing; such as the Main Character of Gabriel Church in his Romantic Fiction “Rubble and the Wreckage” and “Torn and Frayed.”
Author Social Media
Website: http://www.roddclark.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RODDCLARK
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rodd.clark.96
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/roddclark96/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7741007.Rodd_Clark
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Rodd-Clark/e/B00KGDSYSQ/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1
RATING 4,5 out of 5 stars
Carlos Mendez spends all year working hard at his Houston-based landscaping business, and he sends every spare penny he earns back to his family in Mexico. By the time the holidays roll around, he doesn’t have much patience for the unadulterated greed and consumerism paraded past him. But a chance meeting with his neighbor, Ned Williams, and Ned’s cancer-stricken daughter, might help to remind him of the real meaning of the season—something beyond the gaudy lights and extravagant displays—something he wants to be a part of.
Popcorn Garlands by Ariel Tachna moved me deeply. It perfectly shows what Christmas should actually be, the true spirit of this holiday and not all the materialism we are so used of and too often abused.
Carlos kindness and his crew’s families’ generosity is so huge and lovely broke my heart. Versus little Sonia who is fiercely beating a bad illness. Versus a dad, Nat, who is struggling with life, dealing with his daugther medical bills, a new job and no money to scrap and buy a present to the sweetest child ever.
Although the story is more a HFN because there is really no space for a development in the MCs relationship, I was pretty satisfied. I know Nat and Carlos are working on their HEA.
The cover art by Paul Richmond is awesome like everything he does.
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BOOK DETAILS
ebook, 26 pages
Published December 1st 2016 by Dreamspinner Press
ISBN 1635331730 (ISBN13: 9781635331738)
Edition Language English

Have you noticed a preponderance of book covers with snow on them? Maybe with elves or people with red hats or maybe even a stocking or two? Yes, its that time of the year when all the wonderful holiday stories are releasing from authors and publishers everywhere. And its not just Christmas stories but stories from other religions as well, from Jewish holidays such as Hanukkah to Yule, the holiday season is spreading warm, love and special meanings to those involved in the celebrations.
Its a time of giving, and joy. A time of remembrance, and yes, even sorrow for some. It can be magic. And it can be painful. Full of stress and overwhelming optimism for the future. What a bundle of conflicting emotions this season can bring with it, along with the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, when the fear of the dark and loss could be driven back by songs, a yule log and people gathering close together to watch for the rising sun.
What I have always loved most about these stories is the variety. I never know what to expect from the multitude of stories we get here at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words. Christmas in Space? You betcha! Vampires in love? Yes indeedy! Stories of Yule and lost visitors in Greenland, yes, one of my favorites last year by Freddy McKay. This year is no exception. I finished a wonderful story about loss and recovery during Hanukkah, review still coming. There are comedies, dramas, relationships of all kinds…all wrapped up in love and romance. Be still my heart! And those of the rest of the reviewers here at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words. We love this time of the year!
Be sure to check out all the reviews and holiday tours we have for you all in our schedule below. Maybe make a list for yourself. Or given if you love to give books as a gift. Tis the season after all!
You Can Still Vote and Win!
We also have our on-going vote for our wonderful favorite flash fiction. A random reader who leaves a comment after voting will be chosen to receive a $10 gift card from Dreamspinner Press. Here again are the stories and their links:
What Is Left Out By R. R. Angell
What Weighs Us Down by K.S. Trenten
Sad and Silly Humans by K.S. Trenten
[The authors retain the copyrights to their stories. Stories may not be reprinted or copied without the express permission of the authors.]
For all the wonderful stories (there’s one extra), visit our Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words Flash Fiction 2016 Page. For the readers who vote: We will gift a $10 DSP gift card to a reader (randomly chosen) who has voted. so readers please leave a comment once you have voted so we can pick someone as well as a email address. Vote ends on the Winter Solstice, 12/21 at midnight. The author will get the $25 Amazon gift card.
You can only vote for one story, then press vote.

He stopped and tried to hear over the rushing of the surf out beyond the reef if anyone else hid in the dark. No sounds. Fortunately, no big water hit this beach, so he didn’t have to worry about getting swamped. Actually, between the lapping waves and the brilliant moonlight, the scene resembled some fairy-tale romance. Fuck that.
Right where the dry sand verged on the wet, he flopped on his butt. What she’d said—that he settled for a good-enough life. That he wasn’t happy. Don’t I get to decide that?
He leaned back on his elbows. Yeah, but she’s right. I created a whole life—as if I was somebody else. Most people find “the one” and build a future so it suits them both. I imagined a cowboy and slid into his boots—Rand McIntyre. Say that with a drawl, son. Just one problem. I’m gay—always have been—and cowboys don’t come out. Where does that leave me? A-fucking-lone, pardner. Always will be.
You’re not the only gay cowboy.
Have you seen Brokeback Mountain? Shit.
Phosphorescence sparkled on the tops of the waves farther out. Pretty. Guess there could be all kinds of weird man-eating shit in that water.
Do you think more sharks and barracudas swim at night than during the day?
Yeah, right.
He sprang up, stripped his Hawaiian shirt off and tossed it on the sand, then pulled off the shorts his mom had given him. Commando. What would it feel like to have fishes nibbling at his balls? Not like anybody else was doing any nibbling. He strode into the water. Whoa! Not cold, just startling.
When he waded out past his thighs, his penis and balls started to float. He chuckled. Kind of like being a kid in the bathtub. Endless hours of fun playing with your own built-in toys. A few more steps, and he submerged to his shoulders. He gave a tiny shiver. Weird being sunk in inky blackness. Still, the water felt good. He kicked off and swam a few yards out, turned, and stroked back towards shore. He wasn’t a good enough swimmer to push his luck alone at night.
After treading water a couple of minutes, he pulled himself back into the shallows and sat on the hard wet beach. He glanced down. Some shrinkage, but his balls still lay on the sand. Remember to rinse them off or you’ll itch. Slowly he released his breath. What was he going to do? Answer? Same as always. Nothing. He couldn’t risk all the great shit he’d made to try to make it better.
About the Author