Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to have Melanie Hansen here today to share her thoughts, delicious as they are, about Valentine’s Day, how to throw a anti-Valentine’s Day party, and some thoughts on her story, Love and the Exorcism. Welcome, Melanie.
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If you’re like me, Valentine’s Day might not be one of your favorite holidays. Maybe you’ve been with your significant other for a long time and nobody cares, or you’re single and nobody cares, or—like my character Suzanne in my new short story Love and the Exorcism—you’ve just gone through a painful breakup and you don’t want to care. No matter how we each feel about Valentine’s Day, it’s over, and we’ve all survived it another year…
Discount chocolate for the win!
If for some reason you find yourself on the outs with Valentine’s Day again next year, consider throwing an Anti-Valentine’s Day party like Suzanne did in my story. It was cathartic for her, and bonus, it brought my heroes, Tom and Mario, together!
Here is Suzanne’s Anti-Valentine’s Day Ex-orcism in all its glory, drink recipes and all.
If you’re a Valentine’s Day hater too, enjoy!
Suzanne’s Anti-Valentine’s Day Party
First, send out some invites that will really get the point across:
When the big day finally arrives, decorate accordingly…
…and greet your guests with some theme music!
“Love Stinks”
“Love Hurts”
“I Will Survive”
“What’s Love Got to Do With It”
“Heartbreak Hotel”
Have some treats out for everyone to nibble on…
…and put out some plain sugar cookies and frosting for everyone to decorate with their own anti-sentiment!
(Don’t forget the severed head cake pops!)
While all this is going on, have a variety of the all-important alcoholic beverages available. Suzanne’s favorites, plus recipes, are below!
Adios Motherfucker
Ingredients:
½ oz. Vodka
½ oz. Rum
½ oz. Tequila
½ oz. Gin
½ oz. Blue Curacao liqueur
2 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix
2 oz. Lemon/Lime Soda
1 Maraschino cherry
1 Lemon slice
Preparation:
- Pour all ingredients except soda in chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Top with soda and stir gently. Garnish with a maraschino cherry and lemon slice.
Cupid’s Broken Arrow
Ingredients:
3 oz. Mango Vodka (We used Three-O Mango Vodka)
½ oz. Triple Sec
1 oz. Cranberry juice
Splash of Lime juice
1 Cherry
Preparation:
- Add all ingredients in a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a cherry.
- As an ice breaker for shy guests, or just to have some fun, consider offering these party games and crafts while everyone is still somewhat sober:
Broken Heart Bingo – Before your guests arrive, create grids with boxes. Write a statement in each box. Some suggestions of statements you can use:
- “I have never received a dozen roses.”
- “I still own an old engagement ring.”
- “I’m still friends with my ex.”
- “I have had 2 different dates on the same Valentine’s Day.”
- “I’m still sleeping with my ex.”
- “I have never had a date on Valentine’s Day.”
- “I love Valentine’s Day.”
- “I think Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday.”
Put the same phrases in a different order on each grid. As guests arrive, put each person’s name in a bag. Then tell everyone to wander around the party and find people to sign each square that holds true for the person signing. After everyone has quite a few signatures, start drawing names out of the bag. The first person to have 5 names in a row is the winner!
Bitter Arts & Crafts – Make sure that everyone coming to the party brings pictures of an ex. (If not everyone has pictures, I’m sure that some people have more than one picture, and will be willing to share). Invest in some permanent markers and create “art” on your ex with the markers. Give them titles like, “My Ex Without Me,” or “Without Makeup.” Another fun activity is to write out your ex’s full name, and create an acronym. For example:
- Clown-like
- Rude
- Ignorant
- Lazy
Everyone can share their artwork with the rest of the guests! A prize should be awarded for the best work of art.
I think it’s pretty obvious by now that I’m not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day, but I am a huge fan of happily ever afters, and I’m so glad that Valentine’s Day brought Tom and Mario to theirs.
Blurb
Tom Hannity is not boring, despite what his ex-boyfriend says. He loves his circle of family and friends and finds peace in the beauty of flower arranging. Still stinging from his recent breakup, Tom attends an Anti-Valentine’s Day “Ex-orcism,” hoping for some fun and forgetfulness.
Mario Tellez is tired of party boys, and he’s had his eye on Tom for a while. When they run into each other at the Ex-orcism, sparks fly, until an accidentally overheard conversation drives Tom to do something he normally doesn’t do.
What should have been a hot and fun night turns into Tom and Mario seeing each other at their absolute worst, although surprisingly, it brings out the best in them, too. Navigating around the toxic people in their lives isn’t easy, and after a small series of bumps in the road, they finally come around full circle… to Valentine’s Day and laying old demons to rest.
Buy Link: Dreamspinner Press eBook
About the Author
Melanie Hansen has spent time in Texas and Florida prisons…for work. She’s been in a room with a 17-year-old mass murderer who was also one of the most soft-spoken and polite teenagers she’s ever met. After a 13-year career as a court reporter, she can tell many stories both hilarious and heartbreaking.
She grew up with an Air Force dad, and ended up marrying a Navy man. After living and working all over the country, she hopes to bring these rich and varied life experiences to her stories about people finding love amidst real-life struggles.
Melanie left the stressful world of the courtroom behind and now enjoys a rewarding career transcribing for a deaf student. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband and two sons.
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