Tag: m/m

Its Release Day for the Riverdance Anthology (excerpts and giveaway)

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Riverdance Anthology
Authors: L. J. Hamlin, Asta Idonea, Dale Cameron Lowry, Morwen Navarre, Lynn Townsend.
Cover Artist: Kris Norris
Publisher: Torquere Press
Release Date: March 15, 2016

Book/Buy Links: Torquere

Synopsis

Riverdance is a compilation of all things Irish. From fae flitting hither and thither trying to trick their quarry, to a modern-day Highland games, complete with caber tossing and traditional dance, our romantic compilation of Celtic tales and lore are sure to remind readers that love is the pot-o-gold at the end of the rainbow.

Morwen Navarre brings us The Sidhe’s Apprentice, a tale of a young man desperately wanting to be a wizard, like his grandfather, who never banked on falling in love with his mentor. In Finding Balance, Lynn Townsend sets readers in the middle of the Highland games, as well as between two former lovers who need to forgive and forget. L. J. Hamline’s tale, Luck of the Irish, tells of some lucky days that turn into lucky nights. Born of Fire, Dale Cameron Lowry’s offering, brings readers the abduction of a human by fairies, and the greatest lesson of all: love is more than superficial. Finally, Asta Idonea’s The First Swallow of Spring chronicles an annual pilgrimage to the land of the fae, and how the wiley lord tries to keep a human for his own.

Heat Level: 5
Pairing: M/M, F/F
Length: 32,900 words
Categories: BDSM, Contemporary, Erotica, Fantasy, Humor, M/M Romance, Paranormal

Excerpt

From Morwen Navarre’s The Sidhe’s Apprentice:

There was nothing for it but to follow the path which Master Lorc·n had indicated. Master Lorc·n’s parting words had not been comforting, and Alistair had a feeling this Master Cian·n would be no warmer.

Alistair took the opportunity to look around as he walked, wondering how much magic was required to maintain this place. The transition was completely seamless, as though the door to the embassy had been a gate to another realm. None of the whispers had even hinted at the existence of such a portal, though, and Alistair was not too sure he would want to ask. The illusion was flawless, the sky a pearly glow above the tall treetops. The light was softer than sunlight, but far brighter than moonlight, and he wondered if it was designed to duplicate the sun of the Sidhe realm. He could hear faint birdsong, and there was a gentle breeze that brought the scent of honeysuckle with it. If this was Sidhe magic, he wanted to learn all he could.

The stream was not very wide, where Alistair approached it. A single stride would take him over it, but he had been told to wait, and not to cross it. Obedience was mandatory for a student of the Sidhe. That much was common knowledge. There was no place to sit, so Alistair stood and waited. He let his thoughts drift, trying to imagine what it would be like to live in this tranquil place for a year and a day.

“Are you contemplating running away? I wouldn’t recommend it.”

The speaker was Sidhe, and there was a definite lilt to his English. Alistair felt his cheeks grow warm, and he bowed hastily as he straightened up. He swallowed as he got a good look at the speaker on the other side of the stream.

Author Bio
Publisher of GLBT fiction books:  http://www.torquerepress.com to offer the finest in erotic LGBT romance available.
Author Links:
Torquere Facebook Page | Torquere on Twitter |Torquere Blog
Torquere on Pinterest | Torquere Website

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Giveaway

Rafflecopter Prize: eBook copy of the Riverdance Anthology. Must be 18 years or older to enter.

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Love is in the Air with Naughty Lovers by the Naughty Literati

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There is something for everyone, including BBW, BDSM, Contemporary, Fantasy,
Lesbian Romance, M/F/M, M/M, New Adult, Paranormal, Regency, Sci-Fi, Shape-shifter, Speculative Fiction, Steampunk & Stepbrother Romance from bestselling authors. We don’t expect you to read all of them unless you are interested in the genre.
 
Featuring:
The Ride of Her Life ~ Tina Donahue
Maddy’s so desperate for fun, she’s signed up for speed dating. Ew. Before she can ditch the event, Ben, her sexy driver, arrives. After one sinfully hot kiss, they’re breaking all the rules, and then some, on a sensuous spring night.
 
Love In The Air ~ Suz deMello
Jill’s been curious about BDSM since reading Fifty Shades, and firefighter Zack is more than willing to scratch that itch for her.
 
Renaissance ~ Alexa Silver
Kira meets Sage, one of the guys from her favorite band, at a “rock workshop”. Can she trust this handsome rockstar or is he after more than her talent?
 
Bastard’s Bonus ~ Terry Rissen
There is no love lost between the Glass Spinners’ Guild and the Tavern Keepers’ Guild. For Ian and Zane, it means they can never be together, or risk losing everything.
 
Cinderella Scandal ~ Nicole Austin
It was a onetime indulgence—a random encounter between strangers. A good girl’s dirty little secret with her bad boy stepbrother. Anything else is forbidden. Or is it?
 
Swing Follies: Ockham Steam-Works Laboratory Chronicles 3 ~ Regina Kammer
Blimey. Delia’s besotted. With Edward. But when an old flame from Edward’s revolutionary past swings by and steams up the laboratory, has Delia missed her chance at love?
 
Sappho’s Sisters ~ Berengaria Brown
Lady Eustacia Lumley, the only child of the Earl of Wentworth, must marry well and ensure the succession. Only problem is she’s falling in love with another woman.
 
Blast From The Past ~ Katherine Kingston
Lynn’s past relationship with Ryan wasn’t healthy, but when she meets him again after a long separation the old flames reignite. Can they have a more mature relationship now?
 
The WyndRaider’s Conquest ~ Charlotte Boyett-Compo
Prime Reaper Xandon Cree must pick the next test pilot to fly a super-secret war craft. Picking a female for the job is not what he had in mind.
 

 

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Also available from the Naughty LIterati:
 
Naughty Chances: Take a Chance on Love
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Naughty Reunion: Return to Romance
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Naughty Escapes: Eleven Naughty Vacation Getaways
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Naughty List: Thirteen Naughty Holiday Stories
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Naughty Hearts: Twelve Naughty Romance Stories
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Naughty Flings: Twelve Naughty Little Romps
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Find THE NAUGHTY LITERATI:
Triberr (anyone can join our Naughty Tribe) http://amzn.to/1LBpFHA
 
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In the Mood for A Dark Thriller? Check out Haven’s Creed by Parker Williams (excerpt and giveaway)

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Haven’s Creed by Parker Williams
 Release Date: December 14, 2015

Goodreads Link
Publisher: Parker Williams

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Today I’m very grateful to be visiting Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words. My name is Parker Williams, author of Haven’s Creed.

So, Parker, tell us a little about yourself, where you come from.

My name is Parker Williams (or Will Parkinson if you prefer). I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, our four dogs, and three cats.

How about giving our readers a sneak peak to characters from a work in progress?

Haven: At age fifteen, Haven killed a man. He did it to protect his sister and mother, but the aftermath changed his life forever. He cut himself off from the world and trained to be a sniper in the Army. When his skill got noticed by an organization who needed his expertise, he was pulled into his new life and given the codename ‘Haven’ as it was his job to protect the innocent. Should he be unable to protect them, then his job is to avenge them.

Samuel: Samuel was held as a sex slave before he was a teenager. He’s been kept a prisoner for over half his life, satisfying a perverse pleasure of those who kept him captive. He longs for freedom, but there are days he’d settle for death. When he’s left in a cellar, chained to the floor, he knows his time has come.

Haven is a bad man. One of the worst you’ll ever meet. He has done, and will continue to do, some awful things. But he does them to protect people. To save the children. But cracks are beginning to show in his armor. And bits of his soul are being torn away. The man whose job it is to rescue, may need someone to save him, too.

Thanks, Parker, for the insight and for stopping by.  Now for more about Haven’s Creed.

Blurb

An act of violence destroys his family and ends the life he knows. To escape his haunted past, he joins the military, where, as a sniper, he is trained to kill with precision and detachment. When a covert organization offers him a new purpose, he becomes Haven, an operative devoted to protecting the innocent when he can and avenging them when he cannot.

After ten years of battling the evil in the world, the life no longer holds the attraction or meaning it once had, and he’s ready to walk away. Then he meets Samuel, a young man forced from the age of twelve to work as a sex slave. If ever a man had a need for Haven, it is this one.

Yet nothing about this growing relationship is one-sided. Sammy gives Haven a stability he’s never known, and Haven becomes the rock upon which Sammy knows he can depend.

When Sammy reveals something about the enemy Haven has been hunting for months, Sammy fears it will destroy what they’ve built and he’ll lose his home in Haven’s heart.

Warning: This book contains violent and dark scenes
Pages or Words: 95,000 words
 Categories: Contemporary, Gay Fiction, Thriller, some romantic elements, some dark and violent imagery

Excerpt

When I was fifteen, I killed my first man. Every time Arnie, the guy my mother was shacking up with at the time, drank, he got it into his head she was cheating on him. He’d start slapping her, and that turned into full-fledged beating within a few months. When he was done, he’d start on my sister.

There were nights she’d crawl into bed with me, sobbing. For the longest of times, she wouldn’t tell me what happened, but when I found blood on her pajamas, I knew. I’d tried to stand up to him, but he beat me badly enough that I couldn’t go to school for two weeks until the bruises faded. But I got off lucky. The things he did to Chrissy gave me nightmares. I’d hear her cry out and knew there was nothing I could do but hide in my bed, my pillow covering my head. He was bigger, meaner, and stronger than me, and he reminded me of that fact constantly.

The old lady never said boo about it. She always forgave him and tried to justify what he did by telling me how much stress he was under. How he was a good man and didn’t mean it. It was just the drinking, she swore. It was more like he was a bastard and she was his meal ticket.

I came home one night and found him whaling on her, my sister’s body crumpled in a heap, her head smashed in. The son of a bitch had a gun in his hand, slick with blood, and he threatened to kill them both, screaming he wouldn’t let her leave. She slapped him. It wasn’t hard, but it shocked him enough that he dropped the gun. I picked it up. He sneered at me and called me a weak-willed fag.

I looked at the gun I held in my hand. The instrument of my revenge. The means to saving my sister.

“Give me the gun, you fuck. It’s not a dick, you wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

The bullet I put in his forehead showed him how wrong he was. He lay on the floor, blood bubbling from the wound, and his eyes locked on mine as he took his last breath. I wanted that fucker to know it was the weak-willed fag who had done this to him.

Buy the book:

RC

Meet the Author

Parker Williams believes that true love exists, but it always comes with a price. No happily ever after can ever be had without work, sweat, and tears that come with melding lives together.

Living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Parker held his job for nearly 28 years before he decided to retire and try new things. He enjoys his new life as a stay-at-home author and also working on Pride-Promotions, an LGBT author promotion service.

Where to find the author:

 

Tour Dates & Stops:

14-Dec

Scattered Thoughts & Rogue Words, Multitasking Mommas, Rainbow Gold Reviews, Fangirl Moments and My Two Cents, The Fuzzy, Fluffy World of Chris T. Kat, Cate Ashwood, Wake Up Your Wild Side

15-Dec

Love Bytes, MM Good Book Reviews, Book Lovers 4Ever, A.M. Leibowitz, 3 Chicks After Dark

16-Dec

Divine Magazine, Cathy Brockman Romances, Unquietly Me, Louise Lyons, KathyMac Reviews, Havan Fellows

17-Dec

Bayou Book Junkie, Inked Rainbow Reads, Happily Ever Chapter, Nephy Hart, Iyana Jenna, Lee Brazil

18-Dec

The Blogger Girls, Carly’s Book Reviews, Wicked Faerie’s Tales and Reviews, Mikky’s World of Books, Tara Lain, Emotion in Motion

19-Dec

Sinfully Addicted to All Male Romance, Book Reviews, Rants, and Raves, BFD Book Blog, Jessie G. Books

21-Dec

Joyfully Jay, Molly Lolly, Bonkers About Books, Open Skye Book Reviews

Final

 

Giveaway

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.  Enter to win a Rafflecopter Prize: $30 gift card from All Romance eBooks.  Link and prizes provided by the author and Pride Promotions.
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A Little Afternoon Talking Trash With the Don of Doms and the Submission (Submit for Redemption, #1) by Robert Cage & Kathryn Sparrow

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TITLE: Submission (Submit for Redemption # 1) by
PUBLISHER: Storm Moon Press
RELEASE DATE: April 17, 2015
GENRE: BDSM Romance

BOOK LINKS:  Storm Moon Press  | Goodreads |  Amazon | Barnes and Noble  |  All Romance (ARe) 

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Talking Trash with the Don of the Doms!  A Special Guest Post!

Hi everybody! I’m Robert Cage, one of the co-authors (along with Kathryn Sparrow) of Submission: Submit for Redemption, Book One. Thanks for hosting us today.

In the excerpt above, masochistic Army Ranger Everett Palmer meets His Grace, Finny Bainbridge for the first time. Finny has just rescued Ev from a violent assault by one of the more sex-crazed and disturbed patrons of Cuffed Links, an illegally operated underground BDSM club in Kabul Afghanistan. Hopefully you get a sense that there’s a lot of electricity passing between these two MCs. It only gets more intense as Finny draws Everett further into his illicit world.

Finny is a somewhat mysterious figure for most of Book One. He’s hiding a lot, mostly from Everett. Wanting only to capture Everett and coerce a confession from him, Finny finds himself falling deeply, inexplicably in love with the younger captain, which both thrills him and knocks him off balance.

We were lucky enough to get a transcription of a telephone interview conducted by Good Reads UK reviewer extraordinaire, Jessie Cox. Her mission, which she generously and gamely accepted, was to interview His Grace from his eponymously-dubbed Greek isle, Phineas, on the morning of his departure, with Everett. Here’s the interview in its entirety, Brit to Brit.

Jessie: Good afternoon, Your Grace. Thanks for dropping by.

Finny: Thank you, Jessie. How do you do? And call me Finny, my friends all do. I don’t often find myself on the other end of an interrogation, as you know [laughs]. Please—go easy on me.

Jessie: I’ll try, but I warn you I have Habib’s number in my pocket as well as a set of thumbscrews in case you’re stubborn.

Finny: Ouch! You’re ruthless—but a woman after my own heart.

Jessie: Quite right. So, what was your relationship with your parents like?

Finny: Right into the fray, eh? You don’t pull punches. [Pauses] To quote the Coen Brother’s delightful film Raising Arizona, it wasn’t Ozzie and Harriet. I lost my mother when I was young, and even when she was alive I believe I saw her once a day for perhaps an hour, after tea. It’s made it hard to even picture her face in my mind or hear her voice at this point. Father was a complete nightmare. When he was around, there was always something wrong it seemed, usually involving me. We never really connected. I was much closer to Habib, my father’s valet and now mine. Father used to have Habib discipline me when I was younger but it wasn’t very effective—we would both usually end up in giggles or tears, sometimes both. Habib never needed to strike me in order to get my nose back in joint. One stern look from him and the wind would exit my sails faster than you could say Jack Robinson.

Jessie: What accomplishment are you most proud of?

Finny: If I can’t name Finding the Love of my Life, in Everett, I’d say… well, that’s a tough one. To be frank, I’m not proud of anything I’ve done. Quite the opposite. I guess it would be a toss-up between starting to weed out contract interrogation jobs that are just wrong. Funny how that’s happened. I used to be such a terrifying son-of-a-bitch. Now, anytime I’m faced with a potential subject all I can see is Everett’s face. Pain is something I’m finding it harder and harder to take pleasure in, unless it’s with Everett, and in a consensual context. It almost feels a violation of our contract to share that with anyone else. Frankly, it has me a bit worried, but maybe it’s a cue that I’m in the wrong line of work altogether. Wouldn’t father find that funny? I’m proud of finally dumping Hector Ventana. What a disaster that was—he only brought out the worst in me, entirely the opposite of Everett in every way. Hector, if you’re reading this, it serves you right. Why are you still obsessing over me? As the yanks say, get a life!

Jessie: What is your most prized possession?

Finny: That’s another thing. Prior to Ev, I wouldn’t know where to start with the list—I have many beautiful things. But now they don’t seem so precious in light of having someone I can truly give my heart to. Though of course I don’t own Ev, not by a long shot. I don’t think anyone owns Everett. And—that bothers me a bit. Old habits die hard, you know. But in answer to your question, I think it would have to be a pair of antique watch fobs that date back a few hundred years, one of which I recently gifted to Everett. Though oddly enough, mine seems to have gone missing as of late.

Jessie: What was losing your virginity like?

Finny: Liberating. Terrifying—amazing. It was after a fencing match at Eton. I’d had my eye on this young man for some months and it was one of those things where each time I’d glance at him, I’d find he was doing the same. And not just glancing, our eyes were exploring each other. Granted, I think this happened quite a bit at fencing events—it certainly didn’t hurt that our uniforms were tight and clingy and we were always bathed in perspiration. This particular match was actually played on my family estate, so I had a very good lay of the land, as they say. Still, I was feeling more and more trepidatious as to what I would say to him—how could I express my feelings and not drive him away, yet also let him know how amazing I thought he was? And how would I get away with making a move on my home turf with forty or so staff roaming in and out of all those rooms. Turns out I didn’t have to say anything. He was waiting in the back of the hall for me just as I thought I’d lost him forever. We made love in a large dusty old closet—banging up against a stock of masks and foils—appropriate, isn’t it? [Laughs]. I spent god knows how many years getting up the nerve to come out of the closet and I find myself breaking cherry inside of one. That should have been a lesson, a harbinger of what was to come. Still, it was magic. My whole view of the world just opened up and a lot—not all—of my constant anger just seemed to leave me. Similar to how I’m feeling now, actually.

Jessie: Let talk more about Ev, since you’ve gone in that direction. What’s the biggest obstacle that you find in connecting with him? I assume you have your disagreements, as all couples do.

Finny: Oh yes. Right now, I’d say it’s trying to get him to see the forest for the trees, as they say. Ev comes from a simpler, more black-and-white world. He has had the responsibility of having many men under his direction in the Rangers but the effects of his decisions were always localized within his squad. The decisions I make can have ramifications all over the world, whether I like it or not. And when your scope of influence expands that far, you eventually hurt people as well as help them. That’s not something he understands just yet. Just as he doesn’t yet understand that I truly know what’s best for him. Not everyone is happy with our union, but I can’t speak too freely about that. He’s going to have to trust me as the road ahead may be difficult for him. But he should understand that, if he’s to keep to our contract as a willing submissive to me.

Jessie: Would you ever marry Ev? If so, where would you take him on your Honeymoon?

Finny: I get very nervous even thinking about that possibility. Not because I don’t want it, but because I don’t feel I’m quite worthy of him. Not yet, anyhow. And as I mentioned before, we still have a lot of hurdles to traverse. But where to go? The island I would think, seeing that it holds so many fond memories for us.

Jessie: The island you’re on now?

Finny: It does have everything we need. There are times I don’t ever want to leave it. Would be wonderful sometimes to just… stop the clock.

Jessie: What do you think is your biggest strength and your biggest weakness?

Finny: When I find something I want, I get it, no matter the cost. My tenacity is well-known. My weakness is that I sometimes don’t consider the cost of those things until it becomes too late. And there is always a cost—something I’m having a hard time learning. Sometimes that cost is monetary, but most often it’s emotional and even spiritual on occasion. I think spiritual cost is what’s taken its toll most on me, as of late.

Jessie: What is something sexual you haven’t yet tried but would like to?

Finny: [Pauses for several minutes, apparently in deep thought] No one’s ever asked me that. Outside of a few blatantly illegal, outright deviant acts, I can’t think of a damn thing. When I owned Cuffed Links, prior to giving it to Hector, I’d push the envelope in a number of directions. I used to take such pride in that. Now it all seems meaningless, a waste of time. The act isn’t what does it for me anymore. It’s hard to believe I’m even saying something like this. [Very long pause] The way I see it now, unless you’re with someone who means something to you, you might as well be banging a hole in the wall, a well-lubricated one, but still…. Why waste your time?

Jessie: Wrapping up, when you look into your future what do you see?

Finny: Everett and only Everett. Without him, there is no future—for me, anyhow. He’s the one thing I can’t afford to lose. And I can’t help wondering if there’s not a cost hidden in there somewhere that I’ve yet to encounter…. But, I must take my leave of you. Everett has quite a big decision to make this morning and we’re due back in Kabul today. Wish me well and it was wonderful chatting.

Jessie: Same here. I wish nothing but the best, Finny. Thanks again.

Contact either Kathryn or myself on Twitter or by email. We live to hear from readers!

Robert: @robertcage2 on Twitter or Robert@robertcage.com.
Kathryn: @KSparrowAuthor on Twitter or Kathryn@kathrynsparrow.com

BLURB:

When Army Ranger Captain Everett Palmer enters gay BDSM club Cuffed Links, he is seeking brutal punishment for what he perceives to be an unforgivable failure: allowing an entire squad of men under his command to dieSFR_book1_500 while he worked to defuse a bomb at his base. Everett initially wants only pure pain, which professional interrogator and jaded British aristocrat Colonel Phineas Bainbridge is more than prepared to give. Their meeting, however, is not at all by chance.

Phineas has been contracted to coerce a false confession from Everett, implicating the captain in planting the bomb. Phineas has tortured many men in the past, but there is something different about Everett Palmer, a man whose sheer purity of soul causes the colonel to question his every selfish, devious act and legion of war crimes.

In Submit for Redemption: Book One – Submission, erotic romance and spiritual redemption come from the most unexpected places – from the seedy extremes of a smoke-laden, neon-drenched bondage den to the tropical, hedonistic pleasures of Phineas’ private Greek island.

On this unbidden psychosexual odyssey, Everett and Phineas find exactly what they don’t expect: a chance to redeem their troubled souls and fulfil their every romantic ideal. But the clock is ticking. The deeper Phineas falls in love with Everett, the harder it becomes to finish his assigned task. If he succeeds, the consequences may be far more explosive than he ever anticipated.

TAGS: Gay, BDSM, Contemporary, LGBT, M/M, Military, Romance
HEAT LEVEL (1 being no sexual content, 5 being erotica): 4
PAIRING: Male/Male
LENGTH: 99,300 Words

EXCERPT

(NSFW – You confirm that you are 18 years of age or older by clicking on the link to continue reading).

AUTHORS BIO:

Kathryn Sparrow has had stories spinning around in her head her whole life and finally decided it was time to write them down. After working twenty years in the Software Industry, she has left the engineering world to be a chauffeur mom (because she doesn’t really get to stay-at-home). She lives with her fantastic, geek husband and her two adorable, sometimes infuriating daughters, who are too smart for their Mommy’s own good. If she had spare time she would spend it knitting, crocheting, cross-stitching, and doing any other handicrafts that catch her fancy.

Email | Website |  Twitter | Goodreads | Storm Moon Press Author Page
Robert Cage has been writing BDSM novels and short stories for close to twenty years, publishing on the Web through various e-book publishers. From 1997 to 2010 he authored four novels and one collection of short fiction under another pseudonym. He has always striven to make his fiction “more story and character-focused than much of what he sees published in the BDSM world.”

Robert has just released his first novel, which he coauthored with writing partner Kathryn Sparrow in the male romance genre. Available now in both Kindle and print formats from Storm Moon Press, it is titled Submit for Redemption/Book One: Submission and is the first book in a multibook series planned by Robert and Kathryn. Robert is currently busy at work on Just Desserts, a novel that is a prequel to Submit for Redemption/Book One: Submission. He and Kathryn also plan to release Submit for Redemption/Book Two: Domination soon, also from Storm Moon Press.

In addition to writing fiction, Robert collects books, music, and films avidly, and also contributes to a number of online film sites as a movie reviewer.
Email | Twitter } Website

GIVEAWAY:

Enter tp win a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card. Must be 18 years of age or older to enter. Link and prizes provided by Indigo Marketing & Design
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Review: Bound to be a Groom by Megan Mulry

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

BoundToBeAGroom_500x750_0Badajoz, Spain – June 1808.  Anna Redondo has ambitions that stretch far beyond the cloistered walls of the Abbey of Santa María la Real de Las Huelgas, the convent she grew up in.  Instead of feeling safe, Anna feels confined and suffocated by the quiet, contemplative life she lives just because she had been born out of an affair her married mother had with an Englishman.  Only her forbidden love for Patrizia “Pia” Velasquez Carvajal, another girl who has grown up with her within the convent walls, has kept her from rebelling against the nuns and the harsh Mother Superior who rules the convent.

Inexperienced and without means, Anna has decided that the path to freedom and a future together for her and Pia is for Anna to become a wealthy courtesan.  It would give them money and her the life of pleasure she has been dreaming about.  But first she needs to acquire the sexual skills that all courtesans have and for that she needs a teacher. Two weeks after leaving the convent, Anna attends the wedding of another girl from the convent. At the wedding party Anna spies the handsome Sebastian de Montizon, a wealthy hedonist who also happens to be discreet and kind.  Just the sort of man who would make the perfect teacher.

Sebastian de Montizon is a Spanish aristocrat of great charm and large forbidden desires.  Surprised to be approached by a seemingly prim and proper convent miss, he is even more astonished by her frankness and her seductive entreaty.  But no one could have prepared Sebastian to find in Anna a Master for his need for submission.  One marriage proposal later and Anna has found a husband and a new life.  After the honeymoon, they set off to for the convent to retrieve an unsuspecting Pia who has been waiting for her lover to send for her.

Patrizia “Pia” Velasquez Carvajal was an orphan abandoned at the convent.  Kind and gentle, tall and beautiful, Pia found a deep and abiding love with Anna. Bereft of her love and alone, Pia has been waiting for Anna to send for her but never did she think that Anna would marry and betray her love.  When the newly wed Sebastian and Anna de Montizon arrive at the convent to pick up Pia, she does not know what to expect.  All she knows is that her heart is breaking. The truth of their union and their reasons for retrieving Pia are beyond anything Pia could imagine as is the threesome they soon become.

But Sebastian has a past with another and more desires than the girls realize or satiate.  And that leads the three of them to London and Farleigh, the Duke of Mandeville.  Farleigh and Sebastian became lovers when Farleigh visited Spain as a British envoy two years prior.  Since then Farleigh has had many male lovers but none of them have made him forget the beautiful Spaniard he left behind, one who so eagerly submitted to his every whim and desire.

Now Sebastian has descended upon London with a beautiful Spanish wife and her gorgeous friend in tow.  The three of them seem to have a special bond between them, one that Farleigh soon grows jealous of.  As Farleigh gets reacquainted with Sebastian, the old flames of desire reignite.  But Farleigh never expected to find that the bonds that Sebastian had with Anna and Pia would open up to include him and that three would become four and complete.

Well, what a hot, erotic, absolutely marvelous romp this book turned out to be.  Bound to be a Groom by Megan Mulry is a first for me on a couple of levels.  It is my first novel by this author and it’s my first historic erotic polyamory story, and there’s a description I also never thought to write. Mulry’s characters complete abandon and joy that they take in the many, many sexual acts that occur here, as well as its location in England, might bring back some fond memories of  Tom Jones or other libertines of that era.  But instead of one character who enjoys life to the fullest, we have four who become partners, lovers and family to each other.

Bound to be a Groom is set against the backdrop of the Peninsular War (1808–1814) when Bonaparte invaded Spain and usurped the Spanish throne, making allies of the British and Spain. The ensuing political unrest and uprising by Spain is a perfect setting for the rebellion and emotional upheavals to come when a young convent miss, Anna Redondo, sets out to find a way for her and her lover Pia to be together outside the convent walls they were raised within.  Although the civil unrest and political intrigue of that time is used as a framework for Mulry’s plot, it only lightly intrudes here and there throughout the narrative that builds around four lusty gorgeous people and the polyamory bond they ultimately achieve. Lt.-Gen. Sir Arthur Wellesley, commander of the British expeditionary force, makes an appearance briefly during a ball to meet with Sebastian.  Sebastian acts as courier to bring details of the French movements in Spain to Wellesley.  Other than a few more mentions of Wellesley’s battles with the French army and the subsequent outcome, nothing more is made of this fascinating era. With such a dramatic backdrop I couldn’t help but think what a deeper element of intrigue would have on this group.

Instead the plot concentrates on the plans of Anna Redondo whose motives start out purely as a means to achieve her goal of a life with Pia and enough wealth to support them both.  Then her plans are hijacked almost immediately upon meeting Sebastian a sybarite who teaches Anna to enjoy male/female sex and who finds he lusts to submit to her domination. The sex scenes are explicit and totally sensual no matter what combination is in play at the time.  As Mulry adds to the foundation couple with her other main characters, the bonds of intimacy and love grow along with the kinks that are explored between them.  As it happily turns out, there are two doms, one male and one female to two submissives and how that is juggled emotionally as well as physically is another wonderful element here.  The emotional scenes between characters carry as much dramatic heft as the sexual ones do, another reason I enjoyed this story so.

Because as Mulry makes clear, there is more at stake than just sexual gratification.  There is the emotional commitment all four people make to each other that’s of the highest priority. Given the times and the need to be circumspect, the couples have to find a way to hide their bond in plain sight and the resolution is one that will satisfy everyone.

As for the sexual hijinks, well then there is surely a kink here to satisfy everyone.  Spanking and flogging, ties and other bdsm play.  Anna, Pia, Seabastian and Farleigh do it all, including D/s by both sexes.  And as I said before the sex scenes are explicit no what what gender is involved so for those readers who wish to read only certain gender combinations this might not be the story for you.

For me, the only drawbacks to Bound to be a Groom would be that perhaps the author included more details than was  necessary.  I liked some of the historic information here about the Peninsula War but it played such a minor role (a small incident then it disappears) that I felt its role in the story should have been a little more prominent.

And then there are certain “nitpicky” things that pop up that are certainly irrelevant to the story (and most readers) but drive me a little crazy.  At one point in the exerpt below Sebastian and his friend are showing off their riding skills in Feria.  It is just a throwaway fact but it stopped my reading cold.

 After the two caballeros had finished showing off, one of the grooms brought out another pair of quarter horses in need of exercise. They were skittish and excitable. Anna watched quietly as Sebastian dismounted and traded the reins of the horse he’d been riding for the more frantic of the two. Isabella was right after all: he was powerfully handsome. He rubbed his big, strong hand against the horse’s satiny chestnut coat, following the contours of the quivering muscles along the beast’s neck.

What line? The mention of the quarter horses rode by Sebastian and his friend, Javi in riding ring.  In 1808, the Quarter Horse, a truly American breed, was still evolving into the hugely popular horse breed we think of today.   It was a horse of the frontier and of Texas where its breed was standardized.  The breed or types of horse that Sebastian and his friend more likely to have been riding would have been the Andalusian (PRE) or an Andalusian-Thoroughbred-Arab crossbred horse which was common then and immensely popular for use throughout Spain.  An insignificant notation?  Yes, it is.  But it’s inclusion was unnecessary in my opinion as its effect was that I had to stop and think about the statement. Then because I found the mention peculiar, I stopped reading to research the idea of  there being American quarter horses in Feria instead of concentrating on what was happening between the couples on the page.

Another quibble was the use of Spanish  terms (not proper nouns which would have made sense) in the dialog between Spanish main characters. We know Pia, Anna, and Sebastian are all Spanish and would assume they are speaking in their native language.  So why sprinkle Spanish words throughout their conversations when all of their dialog is supposedly in Spanish?  Here are some examples:

From Sebastian: “billeted in my father’s castillo in 1788..” why not my father’s castle? or here where the switch off is doubly odd:

“He hustled her into the castle along with the sea of other guests. He knew the layout of the alcázar from several visits in his childhood.”

Castle and alcazar are one in the same (or in this case  exactly same place they were strolling through), not a proper name of a particular site.  Then in some cases, the english/Spanish tradeoff is just plain informative. Ex.

“If anyone glimpsed them talking, it would appear they were discussing something of little importance, the violinist or the membrillo that had been served after supper.”

I get that the author was trying to bring us more into the setting by sprinkling some Spanish vocabulary throughout but it ended up seeming more out of place than a subtle use of location and nationality.   With this type of usage  then Anna would have said “Stupido, stupido woman!” instead of Stupid, stupid woman! Which was the line (and definitely made more sense than mine). And then of course,  this sort of thing disappears all together.

Would this bother most people? No.  Would it interfere with their enjoyment of the book?  Absolutely not.   But for me, it just shows that even the most insignificant detail can trip up a reader as well as the break in continuity.

Those two minor issues aside, I throughly enjoyed this story.  Mulry’s characters were well drawn, the dialog seemingly keeping with the times and her erotic descriptions downright sensual in conveying the delight and passion of all the characters in the joy of sex and the emotional commitments they make to each other.  Each main character had enough flaws and strengths to them that they felt alive in their confusion, bravery, and total determination to make their goals and promises to each other work.  I liked that the women were just as strong as the men and of course, they all got their HEA.

My enjoyment of Bound to be a Groom is going to send me running off to see what else Megan Mulry has written.  If you enjoy erotic stories whose participants expand past the m/m boundaries, then this sassy, sexy polyamorous historic tale might just be the thing (for fling) for you.

Cover art by LC Chase includes that absolutely gorgeous torso but nothing about it says historic novel.

 

Book Details:

ebook, 192 pages
Published April 14th 2014 by Riptide Publishing
original titleBound to be a Groom
ISBN 1626491127 (ISBN13: 9781626491120)
edition languageEnglish
urlhttp://www.riptidepublishing.com/titles/bound-t

Review: The Blight by Missouri Dalton

Rating: 3.75 stars out of 5

The Blight coverNoah Abbott is the only one who knows he isn’t crazy.  He knows what he saw all those years ago when he was a younger was real just as he knows the fantastical beings, the trolls and the goblins he sees walking around him unnoticed are too.  The trouble is no one else sees them.  Just Noah.  And that fact got him a trip and long stay in a psychiatric ward when he was 16 and Noah’s not going there again.  Now Noah keeps his head down and his eyes to the ground, he works in a box factory doing menial work for menial wages, and he says nothing to anyone.

Then things slowly start to change.  One of his coworkers, Christian, follow citizen on the outskirts of society, takes an interest in him, one that goes far past friendship into that of potential lover, new ground for a virgin like Noah.  And a young woman, Hannah Regent, approaches him and asks for help.  Turns out she sees the trolls and goblins too and needs Noah to help fight them off and keep her safe.

And with Hannah’s appearance, Noah’s reality is shattered.  Turns out he’s an elf on the run. Hannah too.  And that monster he saw all those years ago?  Well, that monstrous troll is back and hunting them both.  With  a Goblin King,to aid them, Noah and Hannah flee to another  universe, one that is their home.  There awaits a mighty quest for Noah, and the fate of all the elves hangs in the balance. But Noah isn’t sure he is up to the challenge.

Wow, what a story.  It has been several days since I finished this book and I am still trying to decide how I feel about it.  Missouri Dalton brings a number of intriguing and thought provoking elements to this story of a “Magpie” child. Noah has been hidden in the human world to protect him (and Hannah) until he can be found and returned to his rightful place as one of the remaining elven royalty.  But that world, Noah’s  “human world”, is that of most people’s nightmares.  He sees things.  Awful things that do harm to others and they are coming for him.  A basic bump in the dark  nightmare that explodes into reality for Noah only no one believes him.  Dalton plays further into our fears by having Noah confined to a less than desirable  psychiatric ward for years, abandoned by family and friends.    This element of the story is so artfully conceived and accomplished that it kept me up thinking for hours on end.

The Noah that is let out of the ward after learning to “play the game” is a person that anyone might meet on the streets today.  Head down, eyes averted, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible.  His posture is exactly that of a person recently released from a mental institution.  That has also been his persona at work, a box factory that is one of the few places willing to hire excons and the mentally unstable.  Again Dalton has found the perfect setting for Noah and his post “crazy ward” life.  Her descriptions of Noah’s job and coworkers is grounded in the reality of such workplaces and it plays out that way in the story too.

Noah is such an interesting character because he is such a dichotomy himself.  A fake human, a false past, a newly reclaimed elf who just happens to be young by elven standards, a elf teen going through pubescence, it all throws Noah through the proverbial emotional and mental loop until he is not sure who he really is.  Is he a hero?  A virgin turned slut by his own Elvish pheromones?  It is a tumultuous journey that Dalton takes both Noah, now Neiren and the reader on.  Trust me when I say its not a real enjoyable journey, nor are some of the situations and events that happen along the way.

One issue I had with The Blight is that the multiple romances were all too new and shallow to become as meaningful as they needed to be.  Noah/Neiren is a highly charged hormonal elf, new to sex and possibly love.  And he behaves just like you think such a character would.  He is promiscuous, conflicted about love and relationships as well as what is truly acceptable behavior now that he is an elf once more.  So much of human morality has been ingrained in his mind and emotions but that has nothing to do with his current and true reality and quite naturally Noah/Neiren is having problems adjusting.   I thought the author did a great job in making Noah’s dilemma real but those readers who have issues with multiple sexual partners (m/m, potential m/m/m, m/f, m/?) as well as what might be seen as “cheating” will feel uncomfortable with these elements.

And the same can be said about the deaths that occur within the story as well.  They happen fast and the events that follow leave little room for grieving.  I think most readers will be shocked and hurt by these deaths.  We won’t see them coming and neither do the characters making their impact on all of us genuine and  pain filled.

There is something here to upset everyone.  Main character deaths, deaths of beloved characters,  characters behaving badly, polyamorous relationships (no one on one relationships here), and finally maybe a happy for now ending.  Missouri Dalton gives the reader instance after instance of moments and events that will have the reader wanting to put this book down and walk away.

And that would be a mistake.

Because as put out as all of above items will make you, there is also so much substance and wonder to be found here as well. The magic of the Goblin Kingdom, and the Goblin King himself.  The grotto of lost elves, shaking mountains and black dragons, its all here too. I can’t call this story heartwarming because its not.  But it has so much to recommend it, the lovely descriptions of magical place hidden away from our mundane human society, and all the beings trying to survive a calamitous time of war and race death.  The scope of this story and the descriptions make it worth your while to pick it up and decide for yourself.

For me, it was worth the journey.  Here is a taste of how it all starts:

“Noah Abbott, this court has found you incompetent and your parents have decided it is to your benefit to give over guardianship to the state of California. It is the decision of this court that you are to be remanded into the custody of the St. George Psychiatric Hospital until your twenty-first birthday, upon which time you will be re-examined for mental fitness.”

She banged her gavel down. “Court is adjourned.”

I felt the shock of it run over me; it was like being hit by a truck. As I’d been hit by a truck, I was able to make this comparison with some accuracy.

“I’m not crazy, I know what I saw! I am not crazy!”

“Bailiff, please remove Mr. Abbott.”

The men took my arms to take me away; I jerked in their grips, and my tired body protested.

“I know what I saw! I know what I saw!”

The bailiff and his friend dragged me out of the courtroom.

“I know what I saw!” I screamed, my voice hoarse. “I know what I saw!”

That cover illustration by BS Clay is magical.  I love it and think it is one of the best of the year.

Book Details:

ebook, 192 pages / 53000 words
Published September 11th 2013 by Torquere Press
ISBN 1610405714 (ISBN13: 9781610405713)
edition language English

Review: Heroes & Villains (Heroes & Villains #1) by Harper Kingsley

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

heroesvillains400Once Vereint Georges realized he had superpowers he dreamed of the day he would become a superhero and help save the world.  He would be adored, famous and hopefully wealthy.  But the reality was far different than he ever could have imagined.  Vereint didn’t like sewing his costumes and he had to keep his day job in order to live. Then his first rescue as the superhero Starburst went horribly wrong.  The person he rescued was badly burned by his superpowers and Vereint threw up in front of the cameras.  To make it worse, his superhero name reminded everyone of the candy and not a hero.  In fact, there were so many superheroes that he was ridiculed by the very people he was supposed to save and mocked by the other superheroes who wouldn’t accept him, especially the superhero Blue Ice.   Vereint hated being a superhero but what else could he do?

Well, he could become a villain and soon Darkstar was born.  Vereint found it incredibly freeing and lucrative to be evil.  He was even good at it!  Soon the populace of Megacity feared and idolized him.  Darkstar even had people wanting to be his minions.  Vereint as Darkstar had finally made it and life was outstanding.

Blue Ice, aka Warrick Tobias, hated Darkstar.  He hated him when he was Starburst and hated him worse now that he was supervillain Darkstar.  Darkstar was all Warrick could think about.  It was almost like he was obsessing over him.  Of course, Darkstar was impossibly gorgeous with that black hair and mesmerizing blue eyes.   Darkstar even invaded his dreams so what is a superhero to do?

When Darkstar and Blue Ice’s clashes turn amorous it leaves both metahumans confused and maybe even hopeful.   A superhero and a supervillain falling in love? Is that even possible?  It’s time for Darkstar and Blue Ice to find out.

I throughly enjoyed this book.  I didn’t know what to expect from the blurb but the reality of the story was so much better than I expected.  In fact, I felt as though I got two books for the price of one.  Heroes and Villains is the story of two metahumans who live in the metropolis of Megacity (of course).  Harper Kingsley starts off the story in a setting than any reader of comic books would recognize.  Those anonymous buildings populated by typical humans going about their business even as superheroes and villains clash in the streets and air all around them.  Disasters and super battles are commonplace and there is such a surfeit of superheroes and supervillains that each has a council to keep them organized.  For the superheroes, it is the League of Superheroes and  for villains it is the League of Ultimate Evil.  There is the Police Commissioner and his Code Black that will summon the superheroes when needed.  It’s all there and accounted for, all the elements we have come to expect, love, and maybe even giggle at when we think of superheroes, supervillains and the cities they live in.  As I was reading, all I could think of was how much fun Harper Kingsley must have had writing this story.

From the names to the costumes and superpowers, Kingsley takes our superhero characters and has fun with them, starting with the position that the reality of being a superhero isn’t what it is cracked up to be.  What if, when a fire happens, not one hero shows up but twenty? And some are great and others? Maybe not so much.  What happens when the superhero isn’t wealthy but just getting by in a Dilbert like desk job?  How do they account for the time they must take away from their jobs to save people and put out the fires?  Like Vereint, they must come close to getting fired because they have used up all their vacation days.  Plus they might not be able to pay their rent on time because they have to spend their money replacing costumes.  It’s a great parody and I loved it.

Kingsley works magic here with the superhero trope.  With their arrogance and position in society, the author’s superheroes act more like a group of mean girls than heroes. Blue Ice in fact is a legacy superhero (five generations of his family have been in the business), and he feels weighed down by the responsibilities he has shouldered since the age of 14.  He lives in the penthouse of Tobias Towers, naturally, and secretly despises the humans he is supposed to protect.   He also resents the  adulation and lifestyle that is Darkstar’s while also being envious of his freedom.  I loved all the details Kingsley brings to the character of Blue Ice.  It’s not only funny, but it also rings with authencity.  Warrick Tobias as Blue Ice really dislikes his job and is in denial about so many things about himself, including his sexuality.  So how does he handle it?  By being a bully.  He is as responsible for Vereint becoming Darkstar than anyone else because of his constant mocking and demoralizing actions towards Starburst.  Warrick is also in his 30’s and now has to follow a Heart Healthy diet. Here is a taste of Warrick Tobias:

It wasn’t like Warrick didn’t understand that he was acting completely insane, but he just couldn’t seem to help himself. There was something about the whole Darkstar situation that just drove him to the verge and maybe a little bit over. The fact that he didn’t really know why he cared that much just made it even worse because the mystery itself was eating away at him.

Warrick spooned up his last bite of maple and brown sugar oatmeal before picking up the plump yellow banana he’d chosen for his breakfast. He squeezed it gently between his fingers, seeing that it didn’t have a single brown spot. It was a singularly beautiful piece of fruit.

As he’d resigned himself to the idea that he was in his thirties— his early thirties, but his thirties nonetheless— he’d had to make a few dietary changes in his life. He’d had to cut back on the sugars, the trans fats, the delicious carbs, and basically everything else that he loved so that he didn’t end up bulging out of his supersuit. He couldn’t have a greasy breakfast of bacon, eggs, and hash browns at his favorite diner anymore, and if he did go there, he had to pick things off the Heart Healthy menu.

I hate egg white omelets and turkey bacon. I want to eat fatty pork bacon and scrambled eggs covered in melted cheese. I bet Darkstar doesn’t have to worry about anything. His super metabolism probably …

“Dammit!” Warrick shouted, flinging the hapless banana across the room to splatter against the wall. Everything in his head came back to Darkstar and he just couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t like he was obsessed or anything. Except that it really seemed like he was obsessed, and not even the self-knowledge that he was out of control helped any.

And Vereint Georges is just as nuanced and believable character as Warrick.  His character changes from a naive, hopeful young superhero to someone who gradually becomes disenchanted with the harsh reality of his dreams.  Nothing measures up.  He’s the new boy, the young “dorky, loser” as the popular kids nee superheroes call him.  Always on the outside, never has the cool clothes, trying to hard to fit in and perpetually disdained for his efforts.  And when he has finally had enough, we are with him 100 percent.

He couldn’t really understand why no one could take him seriously. He tried just as hard as every other hero, so why didn’t he get any kind of respect?

If it was just Blue Ice treating him badly, he might have been able to ignore it, but it was everyone acting like it was a crime that he wanted to save them. They made fun of his name, his ideals, everything about him.

What do I feel about the way everyone treats me?

The answer came in a surprisingly cold voice:   I’m angry.

And of course, they won’t like him when he is angry.

Clenching his hands into fists at his sides, he gritted his teeth and tried to bury his anger deep inside him. He almost had himself back under control and relaxed a little, sure he wasn’t going to completely lose it.

“You know, you’ve got a hole in your shirt,” Blue Ice said, pointing.

“THAT … IS … IT! I have had enough of all this crap.”

Filled with rage, Starburst could feel himself trembling uncontrollably. Violet color began rising around his body and he felt his hair shifting in an unfelt breeze. His eyes felt hot all of a sudden and he was afraid of what was going to happen, but he couldn’t stop it. He was just so frustrated and angry.

Thus Darkstar is born.  But there is so much more to come.  There is the physical attraction both men feel for each other, poseurs who want Darkstar’s attention, more mega explosions and evil doings galore.

Right up until the halfway mark, the story still has the feel of a parody about it.  Then it changes.  An evil deed by Darkstar has profound affects upon his thinking and the story starts to become darker with more real emotions and events that will play with the reader’s empathy and affections.   There were elements of cruelty before but now it fully comes out to play.  All the metahumans really don’t like the regular human beings very much.  They regard them as so much sheep and their actions reflect that.

Kingsley also starts to concentrate on the growing relationship between Warrick and Vereint, the changes in their characters and all the outside influences that effect their lives and potential future.    From the somewhat gentle lampooning of the genre, the author takes this satire to a darker level, bringing a certain amount of grit to the characters and the scenes.  Not everyone will appreciate the loss of the humor and cartoonish takeoff that the first part of the book represents. I liked this element but also understand its lack of appeal to some readers.

I also felt that the story especially the epilogue was a little long.  It certainly could have been shortened without harm to the narrative.   Still, I can say that I really liked Heroes and Villains, it is one of the more unusual stories that I have read recently and I throughly appreciated that.  From every aspect of this novel,  the attention to detail , the inclusion of all the expected comic book elements to the terrific characterizations,  I highly recommend this book to all.  Let me know what you think.

Cover designed by Aisha Akeju.  I am not sure what I make of this cover.  I appreciate the pointillism of the graphics that convey a sense of comic book similarity but I wish it had taken that element a little further in design.

Book Details:

Kindle Edition, 1st Edition, 211 pages
Published June 1st 2011 by Harper Kingsley

Review: Josh of the Damned, Triple Feature #2, The Final Checkout by Andrea Speed

Rating 4.25 stars for the book

Rating: 4.5 stars for the Josh of the Damned series

Josh of the Damned The Final CheckoutJosh Caplan, night clerk of the Quik-Mart was sure he was going to be fired after he (and his friends) stopped the Quik-Mart Corporate offices from opening a store in the hell dimension world called Dev.  But when he showed up for work, everything thing seemed normal or as normal as it can be when the convenience store you work in is next to a hell portal that  opens each night to let all sorts of amazing and hellish creatures come through to visit the store.  From werewolves in the parking lot, zombies needing a meat burrito to a lovesick Yeti, Josh Caplan has seen it all come and go on a regular basis.  Of course, Josh also has a handsome, cool vampire boyfriend named Colin and a less than competent necromancer, Mr. Kwon, as a boss.
But once a CEO, especially a jerk of a CEO like Clark Ryan IV, has an idea in his head, you just know that trouble is coming and it does.  In the last of the Josh of the Damned series, Josh, Colin, Mr Kwon and Bobo the Yeti must face a triple feature of threats to the Quik-Mart as well as all humanity and win.  Among those our intrepid group faces is a giant slug, Medusa’s sisters and of course the worst of all, corporate America.  But as Josh has said before “Dude, I’ve said it like a dozen times! Think of me as the minimum wage Gandalf —you shall not pass.”  And how can you not believe him?

I love, love this series.  I mean, it has it all. Josh Caplan, a night clerk so intrepid by nature, that he moves through life with an acceptance and ease that is almost shocking if it wasn’t’ so delightful. And he has plenty to keep him company from his stoner roommate, Doug, vampire boyfriend, Colin, Necromancer boss, Mr. Kwon, superboss, Medusa, lovesick compatriot Bobo, Gary the Tooth Fairy, and so many more.  Each more fantastic, sarcastic, and outrageous than the next.  In The Final Checkout,  Andrea Speed gives us the final 3 chapters in the Josh saga which of course revolves around the Quik-Mart Corporation’s plan to open a branch in the hellworld, Dev.

When I try to come up with reasons why I have taken this series to heart, the more obvious ones are front and center.   Andrea Speed’s humor which is evident in every aspect of the series, from the names (Kevin the Vampire Slayer to Harvey Mangoat to Gary the Tooth Fairy, just hysterical) to the small details such as Colin giving Josh a tablet because Medusa needs to talk to him and Josh assumes its an iHell (Dev’s answer to the iPad) because, well who wouldn’t?  It’s topical, sarcastic, funny as, well, funny as hell and yet, still contains a lot of heart, no, let’s make that emotion because well it just might contain a real organ or two as well.

Andrea Speed’s world building is perfection too.  Not too many details to bog down the story, just enough to make Dev feel authentic and hellish when Josh, Doug and Colin enter that dimension.  I also like that creatures that appear almost cartoonish in the Quik-Mart become more viably demonic on Dev, their home world, a lovely touch.

The truth of it is that it wouldn’t matter how funny the names or how humorous the situations, without characters whose vulnerability and endearing personality traits make them easy to connect with , then this series would seem a little hollow.  But not to worry, Andrea Speed brings the same detail she uses in her world building to constructing her characters.  All of her creatures, human and otherwise, are beautifully layered beings, with just those odd quirks that make them notable both inside and out of the genre.  You don’t have to tell me that Bobo is much more than he/she/it? seems, I just know it.  And Mr. Kwon, the not quite so capable necromancer who is afraid to tell his family just how bad his skills are?  Priceless.  Medusa and her sisters take sibling rivalry to the next level, while still making it oh so identifiable.

What can I say?  The plots are hysterical, the dialog giggle inducing and the characters (except for the corporate bunch) totally adorable. Please don’t pass The Final Checkout and this series up.

The three stories here are

1. Clerk of the Living Dead.  Zombies attack the Quik-Mart and Josh and Mr. Kwon must deal with this unusual occurrence along with the entrance of Kevin the clueless Vampire Slayer.  I think that this is my favorite of the three.  Josh and Mr. Kwon’s reaction to Kevin had me in giggles plus high props for the Buffy reference.  Josh gets a new bracelet or cuff as he would prefer we call it.  We find out more about the evil plot the Corporation has in store for everyone while Josh and Colin try to take their relationship up to the next level.

2. Plaything of the Gods.  Medusa needs Josh and Colin’s help in dealing with her sisters on Dev.  For the first time, we get to know Doug, Josh’s stoner roommate who delivers pizza.  I loved Doug and his assistance in things brought that “out of body” touch to the proceedings, nothing like a stoner’s viewpoint on Hell and its inhabitants to keep things “unreal, man”.  We also learn more about Josh’s new role as a Guardian, oh and there’s a giant slug that’s blocking the way to the Quik-Mart that has to be removed too.

3. Josh vs. Destiny.  The final showdown between corporate plans for domination and Hell.  Well, you figure it had to happen sometime, why not with Josh as our hero?  The CEO and its evil assistant Harvey Mangoat, (yes, really) vs. Josh, Mr. Kwon and his crew.  Timing is still everything and it starts when Josh and Colin are trying to have a romantic weekend, their first.  The course of true love or lust never runs smooth, and Hell is here to prove it.  Bobo is back (my favorite) to help in the final checkout.  Loose ends are tied up and Josh gets a fabulous apartment to have sex in.

I am going to miss these guys (and things).  I hope Andrea Speed can be convinced to give us a look in every now and again to see how everyone is doing.

The Josh of the Damned books should be read in the order they were written in order for the characters and plots to make sense.  Here they are in order they should be read:

Pretty Monsters (Josh of the Damned, #1)

Peek-a-Boo (Josh of the Damned, #2)

Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #1 (Josh of the Damned, #3)

Night of the Dust Bunnies (Josh of the Damned, #3.5)

Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #2: The Final Checkout (Josh of the Damned #4)

Cover art by LC Chase is shear perfection.  I want a poster of it, really I do.

Andrea Speed also provides a soundtrack for The Final Checkout.  It’s amazing.  Listen to it here.

And finally, if this is your first introduction to the madness that is the Josh of the Damned series, read (courtesy of Andrea Speed) the opening pages of The Final Checkout:

Clerk of the Living Dead

There was an odd sort of comfort in just not worrying that you were about to die. Well, sort of.

Josh went home in the morning, certain he’d get a phone call about not bothering to come in for work tonight, that his last check would be mailed to him, but he was so unconcerned about it all that he just brushed his teeth and went to bed. So this was the end of his short career at the Quik-Mart—so what? There were plenty more low-income, no-hope jobs in the sea. Besides, he couldn’t have let those company guys through the portal, or reality would have imploded and everyone would have been killed. He’d picked the lesser of two evils.

When he woke up to find Doug on the couch, smoking a bowl and watching American Dad, his roommate told him there’d been no calls for him. Weird. Did it really take that long to get a message back to the home office? Or were they up to something? Since the portal didn’t open until nightfall, the home office was limited in what they could do during the day. He was sure this was some mix-up, but he got dressed and headed to the bus stop anyway.

Cindy, the early evening clerk, was finishing her shift when he showed up, and the Quik-Mart looked the same as always. She had no message for him, so he started working as normal, wondering if they were going to fire him mid-shift. Or maybe they’d be coming back with more guys this time? Not that it would help them. Bobo could probably crush the entire army, and with Colin helping, he could do it in half the time.

Colin showed up with the first lizard customer of the evening, although they weren’t together (well, as far as he could tell). Colin had a weird look on his face, one Josh figured was either worry or an upset stomach. Did vampires get indigestion?

Colin came up to the counter and pulled something out from his coat. It looked kind of like an iPad, only it was way thinner, black, and when Colin gave it to him, Josh discovered it was lighter than most paperbacks. Whoa, was there an Apple iHell now? “This some new kind of tablet?”

Colin shrugged and shook his head, sending a mixed message. “Medusa wanted to talk to you.” His expression was grave.

“So, what? This a new way to knock me out?” As Josh inspected the tablet for some hidden Taser nodes, the screen popped to life, and even though it was riddled with interference lines, he could see the brass figure of Medusa sitting behind her desk, wearing those same glasses as before, her hair rippling around her like it was caught in its own private windstorm, her lips so red it made her mouth look bloody. Her suit today looked to be an almost violent blue.

“Colin told me what an excellent job you did yesterday,” she said, her voice coming out staticky, but clear enough that the lizard in the chip aisle jumped and almost dropped his bag of Ruffles. So they all knew what she sounded like, huh? Maybe she broadcasted end-of-year messages, like the Queen or Lady Gaga.

“Um, oh. Well, he deserves credit, too. Him and Bobo. The Quik-Mart guys would have ignored me if they hadn’t been there.”

She smiled, but it seemed predatory. Her lipstick probably wasn’t helping. “Everybody received their due credit. As it is, Josh, I could use an agent who can work in your dimension regardless of whether the vortex is open or not. I’d say you passed the first test with flying colors.”

“Um, huh?” He kind of knew what she was saying, but he couldn’t quite believe it. Was this whole thing—from Medusa tasking him to stop the home office, to the stupid parking lot battle—a test?

“How would you like to work for me?”

Josh looked at Colin, but he stared back blankly, his expression giving nothing away. “Umm . . . do I have a choice?”

Her grin grew wide enough that it nearly threatened to split her face in half, and her snakes quivered like they were waving goodbye. Or laughing at him. “What do you think?”

Oh shit. Not until this moment had the job of burger flipper ever seemed so damn good.

Book Details:

ebook
Published April 29th 2013 by Riptide Publishing
ISBN139781626490062
edition languageEnglish
urlhttp://riptidepublishing.com/
series: Josh of the Damned