A Stella Release Day Review: My Dragon My Knight by John Inman

RATING 4,5 out of 5 stars

Danny Sims is in over his head, torn between his abusive lover, Joshua, and Jay Holtsclaw, the bartender up the street, who offers Danny the one thing he never gets at home: understanding.

When Joshua threatens to get rid of Danny’s terrier, Danny knows he has to act fast. Afraid of what Joshua will do to the dog, and afraid of what Joshua will do to him if he tries to leave, Danny does the only thing he can do.

He runs.

But Danny isn’t a complete fool. He has enough sense to run into the arms of the man who actually cares for him—the man he’s beginning to trust.

Just as their lives together are starting to fall into place, Danny and Jay learn how vengeful Joshua can be.

And how dangerous.

I have to say I wasn’t expecting a story like the one I got to read in My Dragon, My Knight. I’m used to laughing with John Inman and his works, while this new release is more serious and angsty, I was waiting for some drama of course, the blurb is pretty clear, but I wasn’t ready for this level of abuse.

I’d like to make a little promise. The book speaks loudly of domestic violence, if you are not comfortable with it, the author has written a lot of great and different stories, just go there and skip this new one. I read My Dragon, My Knight and soon after another story with the same theme, and although I have never been victim of a violence like this, it made me cringe more than once. I soaked up and then I couldn’t take it anymore.

That said, John Inman has confirmed how talented he is, I loved the plot, I loved the characters but what conquered me was the writing. This novel was a pleasure to read, I spent one night on it and I didn’t even realize the time passing. It totally captured me and my heart. The words were never too many and just the right ones. Yes the writing totally satisfied me, actually the whole story filled my craving for a good read. You know when you read a book and you want more? Not always is a positive thing, often it means the author lacked somewhere or you simply wasn’t in the mood. Well, this time my mood and My Dragon, My Knight aligned.

Danny had a special place in my heart. I was happy for him to have found Jay on his path, first a friend to trust, then a place where he and his dog Jingles can take a shelter, finally a special person to love. And then there is Jay. Gentle, caring and ready to wait for Danny to be brave. I loved how, although he had lost his lover just the year before, Jay wan’t closed in his grieving, on the contrary his openness made him more lovable.

Now I would like to explain why I didn’t give My Dragon, My Knight the full five stars, because not sure if I have been clear so far but I really adored this book. One thing I couldn’t overcome and ignore, the death of a second character, not going to tell you who because I don’t want to spoil your reading, but of course someone will die. I could have easily done without that.

My Dragon, My Knight by John Inman is a winner, I surely will reread it in the next future, it has all the little details I like to find in my books, friends to lovers, age-gap, characters with huge baggage on their shoulders, cats! I feel to highly recommend it.

The cover art by Reese Dante is simple, real and fitting. I like the font, the colors, everything.

Sales Links

BOOK DETAILS

ebook, 200 pages

Publication Date: March 31st 2017 by Dreamspinner Press

ISBN13 9781635332858

Edition Language English

Karen Bovenmyer on Writing, Research, and her latest novel ‘Swift for the Sun’ (guest blog and interview)

Swift for the Sun by Karen Bovenmyer
D
reamspinner Press
Cover Artist: Anna Sikorska

Release Date: Mar 27, 2017

Buy Links: Dreamspinner Press ebook | Dreamspinner Press paperback

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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to have Karen Bovenmyer here today talking about writing, characters, and her latest novel, Swift for the Sun. Welcome, Karen!

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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words Interview with Karen Bovenmyer

  • How much of yourself goes into a character?

A lot. I strongly believe in “write what you know,” but I’m not a gay nineteen-year-old man in 1820, and that was the story I wanted to tell in SWIFT FOR THE SUN. While Benjamin and I do have a lot in common—we love reading, music, and are a little competitive—I don’t speak French, have an undying desire to be a sailor, nor am I very good at talking my way out of predicaments in the moment.

I researched this book thoroughly and reached out to a range of consultants for the things I didn’t know—chiefly, the gay male sexual experience. I shared chapters with gay friends and had several blush-worthy conversations about it. I wanted to get both Benjamin and Sun “right.” I also read many novels written by naval people of the time to get a feel for language and culture.

  • Do you feel there’s a tight line between Mary Sue or should I say Gary Stu and using your own experiences to create a character?

No. I think personal experience is complex and nuanced and having some personal experiences in common with your character is a great way to give them more dimension. If your beta-readers report that they are bored or confused, that’s when you should make sure the personal experience you included fits your character and enriches the story. If not, cut it and give them something else that shaped them. Remember past experiences predict reactions to future experiences, so do a little reverse engineering to help you understand why your character is reacting the way they are. If it enriches the story, then include that little backstory/explanation in the text, but most of the time it’s only important that the writer know it.

I find being a life-long roleplaying game nerd helps. I always try to create characters for games that will compel not only me, but the other players.

  • Does research play a role into choosing which genre you write?  Do you enjoy research or prefer making up your worlds and cultures?

I usually write science fiction and fantasy, but nevertheless, I research a lot. I know my audience is brutally intelligent, and I had better have an understanding of what my space ship uses for propulsion and how it defeats the enormous gulf between stars. I don’t need to elaborate on it in the story, but I need to understand the theories behind it and have them in my back pocket if needed.

For me, what plays the biggest role on choosing a genre, is the pre-writing I do. I’ll get a loose idea, and then start playing with it on paper. Then I stop drafting and write a seven point outline to shape the story. If I’m not feeling it—I’m not bonding with the character or the predicament and it’s not interesting me, I’ll start over, reshaping the ideas. Yesterday, while drafting a new short story, I spent time on a crashing starship with shape-shifting lovers, scrapped the setting, put them in a postmodern apocalypse, scrapped the characters, then put everything on the moon with shadow-traveling space wolves. But I had better know the rules of that shadow travel and how everyone’s breathing on the moon. It’s a delicate mix of make-believe and science, for me.

  • Has your choice of childhood or teenage reading genres carried into your own choices for writing?

The genre I read the most as a kid was epic fantasy, Dungeons and Dragons spinoff books, and Star Trek novels. Of the long fiction manuscripts I have drafted, none yet fit these genres. I think part of it is because I love them so deeply, I want to do them right. My current novel in progress is a Chinese-inspired fantasy murder mystery, so that one comes the closest to what I usually love to read. I like to think I’m growing toward being able to write the fiction I loved when I was a teen.

  • Have you ever had to put an ‘in progress’ story aside because of the emotional ties with it?  You were hurting with the characters or didn’t know how to proceed?

Absolutely. When a story is too close to my personal pain, I can’t make it work. I need distance before I can process. When I’m writing stories for publication or for the entertainment of my friends, I can’t get too personal, or the enjoyment of the thing falls apart for me. Every time I’ve tried to process something too fresh through a story, it hasn’t worked. Time does not heal all wounds either—when I write about something really painful, then go back to it later, all the pain feelings come back. I usually can only use the story by recombining elements and themes until I find something charged enough to be interesting but not so overpowering I can’t write about it.

  • Do you like HFN or HEA? And why?

I don’t like books to end. I want them to go on and on forever, so I like HFN. I like to imagine what the character might do next, and having a little hint that not everything will always be perfect for them from here on feels more realistic and fires my imagination.

  • Do you read romances, as a teenager and as an adult?

As a teenager I read very few romances—Auel’s VALLEY OF THE HORSES, Small’s THE KADIN stick out in my mind. As an adult, I’ve read a lot of Laurell K Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, and J R Ward. I primarily love fantasy and science fiction, but enjoy a strong romantic sub plot. The first draft of SWIFT FOR THE SUN was an action story, but in editorial we were able to bring the romance out of a sub plot and into greater prominence.

  • Who do you think is your major influence as a writer?  Now and growing up?

That’s a hard question. Everything I read influences my writing. Growing up, Pini’s ELFQUEST was a huge influence—I’ve always been drawn to writing dramatic story arcs. I’ve been writing a lot of first person lately, which could be due to Brust’s JHEREG or the first few books of Hamilton’s Anita Blake series. A couple of short fiction authors I adore, who continually inspire me, include Kelly Link, Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam, and Catherynne Valente. I love reading their stories.

  • How do you feel about the ebook format and where do you see it going?

I like reading books on an e-reader. I read huge, door-stop fantasy, so the act of holding the physical book up and turning pages was actually causing me wrist pain before I switched from paper to e-books. I see ebooks as the new standard, with audio-books a close second.

  • How do you choose your covers?  (curious on my part)

Dreamspinner sent me five mockups by Anna Sikorska to pick from. I wanted something that wasn’t too sexy, because the book is more about the two men coming together and defeating their pasts than it is about sex. I also wanted a strong, central character looking out at the reader, inviting them into the story. I told the art department I liked two of the five they sent and gave some suggestions. Anna used the suggestions to make four new mockups, none of which I particularly liked, so they sent me four more, the first of which is the one I chose. All the work was very high quality and I was impressed with both Anna and the Dreamspinner art department.

  • Do you have a favorite among your own stories?  And why?

My current favorite is a 1500 word short fiction called “We Are Still Feeling” featuring lesbian psionic zombie masters fighting the robot apocalypse (available to read online free in Sockdolager’s Women of War issue). That story opened a world in my mind I find myself returning to. It was the first story I’d written that earned a “Finalist” ranking in the Writers of the Future Contest. My science fiction epic novella (17500 words) “Failsafe” is a second favorite, also because of the setting and character relationships. It earned an honorable mention for 2013 year’s best horror from Ellen Datlow, but I don’t think it’s the external validation that really counts for me with both of these stories. It’s the strength of character, setting, and plot that keeps calling me back there. I will probably write more stories inspired by both.

  • What’s next for you as an author?

I’m currently drafting a Chinese-inspired noir fantasy novel with detectives and dragons, empresses and duelists. I hope to complete work on the novel (currently 60000 words) by August (probably topping out around 100000 or 120000) and pitch it to agents. Fingers crossed!

About Swift for the Sun

Benjamin Lector imagines himself a smuggler, a gun runner, and an all-around scoundrel. A preacher’s son turned criminal, first and foremost, he is a survivor.

When Benjamin is shipwrecked on Dread Island, fortune sends an unlikely savior—a blond savage who is everything Benjamin didn’t know he needed. Falling in love with Sun is easy. But pirates have come looking for the remains of Benjamin’s cargo, and they find their former slave, Sun, instead.

Held captive by the pirates, Benjamin learns the depths of Sun’s past and the horrors he endured and was forced to perpetrate. Together, they must not only escape, but prevent a shipment of weapons from making its way to rebellious colonists. Benjamin is determined to save the man he loves and ensure that a peaceful future together is never threatened again. To succeed might require the unthinkable—an altruistic sacrifice.

Karen Bovenmyer earned a B.S. in anthropology, English, and history; an M.A. in literature; and an M.F.A. in creative writing—popular fiction. Fans of historical romance, Tarzan, Master and Commander, and Pirates of the Caribbean will enjoy this funny, romantic action-adventure.

80k words
Pages: 230
ISBN-13 978-1-63477-764-3

About the Author

Karen Bovenmyer was born and raised in Iowa, where she teaches and mentors new writers at Iowa State University. She triple-majored in anthropology, English, and history so she could take college courses about cave people, zombie astronauts, and medieval warfare to prepare for her writing career. After earning her BS, she completed a master’s degree with a double specialization in literature and creative writing with a focus in speculative fiction, also from Iowa State University. Although trained to offer “Paper? Or plastic?” in a variety of pleasant tones, she landed an administrative job at the college shortly after graduation. Working full-time, getting married, setting up a household, and learning how to be an adult with responsibilities (i.e. bills to pay) absorbed her full attentions for nearly a decade during which time she primarily wrote extremely detailed roleplaying character histories and participated in National Novel Writing Month.

However, in 2010, Karen lost a parent.

With that loss, she realized becoming a published author had a nonnegotiable mortal time limit. She was accepted to the University of Southern Maine’s Stonecoast MFA program with a specialization in Popular Fiction and immediately started publishing, selling her first story just before starting the program and three more while in the extremely nurturing environment provided by the Stonecoast community, from which she graduated in 2013. Her science fiction, fantasy, and horror novellas, short stories, and poems now appear in more than forty publications including Abyss & Apex, Crossed Genres, Pseudopod, and Strange Horizons. She is the Horror Writers Association 2016 recipient of the Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley Scholarship. She serves as the nonfiction editor for Escape Artist’s Mothership Zeta Magazine and narrates stories for Pseudopod, Strange Horizons, Far Fetched Fables, Star Ship Sofa, and the Gallery of Curiosities Podcasts. Her first novel, SWIFT FOR THE SUN, an LGBT pirate romantic adventure set in the 1820s Caribbean, will be published on March 27, 2017.

Social Media Links:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenbovenmyer

https://www.facebook.com/karen.bovenmyer

https://twitter.com/karenbovenmyer

http://karenbovenmyer.com/

A MelanieM Release Day Review: Rainbow Sprinkles (States of Love) by Anna Martin

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Cooper Reed has a fairly relaxed life for someone who lives in LA. He’s no celebrity—just the guy who makes sundaes at the Dreamy Creamery, and that’s the way he likes it. The highlight of every week is the beautiful guy who turns up and orders a sundae with rainbow sprinkles. Cooper still isn’t sure if that’s a code, because he has a huge crush and the hot guy is terrible at flirting.

Drew Tanner, it turns out, is an original California dreamer. He’s as wholesome as apple pie and twice as sweet, a real-life Disney Prince at Disneyland. But while Drew’s head is in the clouds, Cooper’s feet are firmly on the ground, and their different outlooks might be more than their new relationship can take.

Rainbow Sprinkles by Anna Martin is a delightful fluffy romantic confection.  I breezed through it, easily absorbed in this lighthearted tale of love, adorable men and the California sun.  Oh, and ice cream of course!

Another story in the wonderful States of Love series from Dreamspinner Press, at 77 pages, Martin still captures a full romance and love story between two sweet, handsome men.  Its pretty much angst free but the author does manage to make me take another more serious look at a profession I would and have been too easy to write off in the past as just another seasonal job.  No, I’m not talking about ice cream making.  That another neat twist here in Rainbow Sprinkles, Drew’s profession.

Martin delivers here, her secondary characters are believable, she brings that Dreamy Creamery to life including behind the scenes drudgery, and what it takes to make ends meet in Los Angeles on a tight budget and still date.  The author does all that within 77 pages.  Then gave me an Epilogue that still has me smiling. Yes, this is a story I love and will love to recommend.

Want a lighthearted, delightful romance?  Pickup Rainbow Sprinkles!  I guarantee it will fill your order for a sweet love story.

 

Cover Artist: Garrett Leigh.  Cover art is just as adorable as the story and characters within. Perfect!

Sales Links

 

Book Details:

ebook, 77 pages
Expected publication: March 29th 2017 by Dreamspinner Press
Original TitleRainbow Sprinkles
ISBN 1634778626 (ISBN13: 9781634778626)
Edition LanguageEnglish
Series States of Love settingCalifornia (United States)

A MelanieM Release Day Review: Counting Down (Counting #2) by Kelly Jensen

 

Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5

 

It’s been a week since a Christmas Eve blizzard changed the course of Marcus Winnamore’s life. Plan A is now Plan B, and the first item on his new agenda is taking Henry Auttenberg on a date. They’ve been invited to a New Year’s Eve party, and Marc is counting down the hours until midnight… until he can kiss Henry in front of his colleagues and friends.

Things don’t quite work out to plan. Finding the elevator out of service, Marc and Henry check the stairs, only to choose the wrong door and become locked in the basement. Close quarters once again make for close conversation, and as they explore every avenue of escape, they also explore the deepening attraction between them. For Marc, this isn’t an experiment. Will he still feel that way when he has to admit to someone other than Henry that he’s gay?

First of all, I admit I read this as a standalone, so I have no backstory on Marc and Henry’s back history here.  I’m not sure that it matters all that much.  For a short story, Jensen gives the reader a solid setup and really good characters.  We know who Marc and Henry are in their core and something about the situation of the evening as things go terribly wrong. Or right depending upon your perspective.

At first, I must have felt like them on a bad date, the rush of information, feeling a tad claustrophobic but as they talked, exploring avenues of escape and started getting to know each other better, I settled down and enjoyed their conversations and predicament.  Henry comes off as the more genial and accessible of the two men.  That he is at  ease with his sexuality and Marc isn’t helps with the connection.  Plus Marc comes off more of a bulldozer of a personality….if he runs through it or over it, it won’t be so painful… to him at any rate.  So I’m not so sure what Henry sees in him.  Maybe that’s in the other story.  At any rate.  I definitely liked this enough to go back and pickup the first story Counting Fence Posts . I’ll let you know what I find.

Cover Artist: Bree Archer.  Works for the characters and for branding the series.

Sales Links

 

 

Book Details:

ebook, 1st edition, 63 pages
Expected publication: March 29th 2017 by Dreamspinner Press
ISBN 1635333466 (ISBN13: 9781635333466)
Edition LanguageEnglish
SeriesCounting #2

Ken Bachtold on Writing, Stories and his latest ‘A Company of Players’ (guest blog)

 

A Company of Players (States of Love) by Ken Bachtold
D
reamspinner Press
Cover Artist: Reese Dante

Available for Purchase at

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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to have Ken Bachtold here today answering our questions and talking about his release A Company of Players, the latest in Dreamspinner Press’ States of Love series.  Welcome, Ken, tell us about yourself, writing and your story!

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Ken Bachtold: First of all, being a great fan of the whimsical, I love the title of your blog! Makes me smile! Also, I think your question and answer approach is the very best way to understand an author, and I’m delighted to answer all your questions.

I do put a lot of my own thoughts and actions into my characters, particularly the protagonist, also the other characters often say things I think are important.  A few of my own experiences do come into play, i.e., more in this story than any of the others, since I did come to New York (not with a Barb) and I did start my own theater company called, surprisingly, A Company Of Players, the origin of which is explained in the book. The trip to the used theater seating company is right out of my experience. (I can still see those beautiful light blue seats that were too impractical to be used). However, most of the rest is made up. The local color (New York) is almost all authentic (i.e. the little square, so important in the story, actually exists), as I do live in New York (and I did come from San Francisco, where my knowledge, with research, remembers affectionately, The Fairmont Hotel.) I have a BA & MA in Theater with a minor in Art from San Francisco State University, so all of the theater references are spot on.

Yes! Research is vitally important, because someone, somewhere will have exact knowledge concerning what you’re writing about.  Heaven help the author who disregards this reader!  One of my stories had the main character going out of state.  I ordered a great book titled Writers Guide to Places by Dan Prues and Jack Heffron, and settled on Montana.  I found that, besides being the home of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, it’s rumored that they have a potluck dinner every 2.3 seconds and they favor pickled eggs and bull’s testicles! After reading all that, and putting most of it into the story, I would never try to describe a different locale without research!

When younger, I read (and often re-read) the Dobbie Gillis stories by Max Schulman (who else would name a female character something so delicious as Poppy Herring!)? I’ve since always been attracted to that kind of humor (Paper Moon, Auntie Mame, etc. For instance, I loved the movie Deadpool.) My main characters in this story, Nick and Barb are constantly (with good humor) teasing each other and trying for one-upmanship. I feel it keeps the dialogue bright and interesting. Although, I do have moments of very serious conversations. Also, when I found her, I read all the Regency romances by Georgette Heyer (the very best in the genre) for their authentic period descriptions as well as the wonderful stories, and, when desperate, I must confess I even read Barbara Cartland (one of her heroines was named Panthia – which I thought rather pretentious.) My favorite main stream authors are Lee Child’s Streacher stories, and anything by Jonathan Kellerman and Dick Francis. As for MM stories, my most favorite novelist is Pat Henshaw, a fellow Dreamspinner author.

I’ve never had to put an “in progress” story aside because of emotional angst, because I never let my characters get to that absolute desperation point.  Worry, insecurity etc., but never any truly painful stress. Their hearts may ache, or even shatter a bit, but they never bleed to death!  I’ve always hated sad endings and with movies I won’t even go to one, because the depression stays with me for days.  So, too, with books.  I’ve literally thrown an MM book on the floor when at the very end, the characters look sadly at each other as the sun sets over the beach, and then they walk in different directions. Grrrr!

I have had to put a story aside when I get two ideas going at the same time.  I write just enough to get my ideas down and then put one away.  I’m very linear, not a multitasker! At the moment, I’ve had to put aside one titled Looking Back For Tomorrow and concentrate on another titled Something Happened In Paris (I was lucky once, being able to go there (had never been out of the U.S.) with a stage production – as a friend – and I remember it vividly – but research, I will faithfully do)!

I have mixed feelings about the e-book phenomenon.  As a reader, I feel like a traitor when I read my Kindle (and its most likely storage of 400 or so MM books, as well as detective stories) but they’re so convenient and handy. Books tend to get dropped and lost. (I once dropped an almost-finished paperback onto the subway tracks and, stupidly, looked both ways and dropped down and then back up to retrieve it. Well . . . I had to find out how it ended!) As an author, I’d much rather be published in paperback and have the actual book in hand, as there’s something too ephemeral about e-books! I plan, for the first time, to exhibit at the Rainbow Book Fair, and it would be great to have all of my books in paperback form instead of only two!

Re: Covers! With my second book published by Dreamspinner, All By Myself, I discovered cover artist Reese Dante, who in my opinion is the greatest! I was so delighted that I requested her expertise on my next book, Mood Indigo as well as this current one.  She is outstanding, as she always has faint depictions of the scenes of the book in the background behind the figures and/or faces.  And her color palette and font choice are always exquisite, and perfectly fitting to the mood of the book!

Do I have a favorite among my stories? OMG, that’s like asking a mother if she has a favorite child.  I love all my books equally, and you would never hear me even murmur otherwise!  After all, I wouldn’t want to hurt any feelings, and I would if any one of them thought they weren’t number one!!

I came to my writing in kind of a roundabout way. I had a terrible time finding MM books that I liked to read.  I found most of them (but not all) rather weak on character and plot and heavy on minutely described sex scenes every two or three pages. To my mind, they bordered from kind of sleazy to absolute porn.  I discovered (in an Advocate article that most of the writers were women and most of the readers were youngish girls).  But . . . what about guys like me?   So, I decided that instead of just moaning, I would try to write the kind of book I favored. Writing was not so foreign to me, as I’d written four musicals, book, music and lyrics and a very successful play (Starting Over) produced at the Ninth Annual Fresh Fruit Festival).  So, figuratively, pen in hand, I forged ahead.  When I finished my first one (Seeing The Same Blue) I figured, why not go for it? So, I sent it to the firm I believed to be the Cadillac of publishing houses, Dreamspinner Press. I nearly fell off my chair when I was fortunate enough that they accepted it!  And, I was off and running. I write books heavy on plot and character, with, I hope scintillating dialogue and some titillation along the way. Luckily, I’ve found an audience that likes my kind of book and I’ve had some very nice comments on Amazon.  (Also, a few real stinkers – but that’s to be expected.)

Well, I hope I haven’t gone on too long, and that the last paragraph is not off-putting.  It’s been a real kick to be able to detail all these things about me and my books, and I thank you for the structure you provide!

Yours in whimsy,

Ken Bachtold

Friendlykenn@aol.com

 

About A Company Of Players

Leaving romantic wreckage behind him, Nick Charles and his best friend Barb Anderson use Nick’s sizable inheritance to fly to one of the most exciting places in the world—New York City—with plans to open their own theater. In doing so, they meet Ross Taylor, the handsome real estate man and actor, and Rudy his construction-worker cousin. Ross is determined to heal Nick’s fragile heart, while shy Rudy and oblivious Barb stumble toward their own connection. Will Rosie Dupree, a rigid method actress, and talented but devious Gordon Holmes destroy their theater dreams? Was choosing the original piece, Starting Over, by an unpublished young playwright the best move for opening night? Will the invited critic show up? Amid the frantic and colorful world of the New York City theater scene, Nick and Barb must open their hearts and risk everything for their endeavors to succeed—both on the stage and behind the scenes.

About the Author

Ken Bachtold 

BA & MA from San Francisco State University in Theatre (Acting and Directing) with a minor in Art.

When I constantly had trouble finding the type of book I liked to read, I finally said to myself, “Why don’t you stop moaning and write one yourself?” So I did. I was thrilled to the marrow (literally) when Dreamspinner accepted Seeing the Same Blue. Then followed acceptance of Blue Valentine Blues, part of their Valentine anthology. Next, came acceptance of All By Myself, Mood Indigo and now A Company Of Players is being released on March 22, 2017. My cup runeth over!  All books can be found on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Before that, Outskirts Press published Love Like Lightning – Ten Stories of Love at First Sight, also on Amazon.

My original play, Starting Over (which I also directed), was just staged as part of the Ninth Annual Fresh Fruit Festival here in New York.  Audience reaction was terrific.  It was one of nine plays accepted out of 60 submitted.  It was an MM romance.  The blurb in the brochure for the festival read, “A play about love and loss.  Griff has recently lost his longtime partner.  Can he find happiness with Ben, the new neighbor down the hall?  He’s supported by his sister and opposed by his widowed mother, now remarried to a homophobic preacher.”

 I’ve also written 4 musicals, book, music and lyrics.

Saloon (loosely suggested by the old melodrama The Drunkard) which opened The Gatetway Dinner Theatre in New Jersey to great reviews (I can forward them if you wish). It was subsequently optioned by Broadway producer Jerry Schloschberg (who, at the time was, producing the revival of On The Town with Bernadette Peters), but a show sluggishly following the old material opened and closed the same night, and he backed off thinking there was now a “stigma” on the material.

 The Facts of Life (a musical about War, Prejudice and Aging, circa the ‘60s) was written at the BMI Music Workshop, taught by Broadway legend, Lyman Engle, and only after several auditions before acceptance in the class.  It was deemed worthy of a staged reading there.

 Boo! based on the old gothic novel The Castle Spectre was done by several regional theatres.

I was hired to doctor a musical based on Iphigenia At Aulis, called The Winds Of Aulis.  I changed the name to Dilemma! and wrote a subplot and mostly new lyrics.  Although the play was fully backed, it never reached production and I never found out why.

 I’ve written and staged numerous night club and cabaret acts and taught singing for the musical stage for 15 years.

Contact Ken at:

  • Website:              www.kenbachtold
  • Twitter                 Ken Bachtold
  • Facebook            Ken Bachtold
  • Tumblr                 Ken Bachtold

Amy Lane on Writing, Personal Experience, the Saber Dance and her latest release ‘Bonfires’ (guest post)

Bonfires by Amy Lane
D
reamspinner Press
Cover Artist:  Anne Cain

Purchase Links

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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to have Amy Lane here today talking about one of my recently highly recommended stories, Bonfires. Welcome, Amy.

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Saber Dance

By Amy Lane

When I was a kid, one year my dad made less than $1500 for the entire year. Yes, you read that right, we’re not missing a zero—or two.  Yeah, sure, it was the seventies, and they didn’t drug test the poor people before giving out food stamps, and we lived in a dump for $75 a month, but you got to admit, that’s cutting things a bit close.

My dad was smart though—at the time he was in school to become a respiratory therapist (because Work-Fare WORKS, dammit!) and he made his scant living at a pick-n-pull, but he knew how to stretch out a dollar. We planted a garden, because seeds were cheap, and he haunted the feed stores for fertilized eggs.  A hammer, some nails, a lightbulb, and BANG! Baby chickens—and whether they were roosters or hens, one way or another those critters would feed us for a year.  (One year it was roosters—twenty-three out of twenty-five of them. My dad called all of his friends over to become a chicken-killing assembly line, and we had a hell of a barbecue, but that’s another story.)

So livestock, I’ve had it.  As well as cats, for most of my life. And the thing with feeding the chickens (or the sheep or cats or dogs for that matter) is that there are feedbags left over. A long time ago, you used to be able to get some of the feed—or rice for that matter—in heavy duty cloth bags, but mostly they came in paper. 

All of those layers of paper, with all of those leftover grains of food.

You what likes leftover grains of food?

Mice. Mice like leftover grains of food.

I remember—more than once—the chicken coop or feedbag pile getting infested with mice, and the orgy of destruction that followed.

There is nothing as entertaining as a cat chasing mice, especially one who has not become completely domesticated and still has a strong stream of jaguar running through its veins. The thing is, cats are insanely well-crafted killing machines. Everything from curved claws to sharp teeth to lashing tail plays some part in the feline Saber Dance that is a cat getting down to business.

I know some people out there—people who have possibly never had to walk into a darkened chicken coop to collect eggs and try not to freak out at the scurry of little feet as they scuttle through the hay—feel terrible for the furry little rodents, and I do see their side.  I mean, my kids have kept mice and rats as pets, and on a one-on-one basis they can be amiable little creatures with adorable beady eyes and twitching whiskers.

They can also be cannibalistic nightmares who overrun chicken coops, devour crops (remember, those were dinner!) and scurry over your sandal-clad foot when you least expect them. And my heroes, the floofy kitties, were effectively getting rid of the little grain-stealing criminals.

I was a fan!  Hell—on the day of the Massive Rooster Roast, half the adults who were supposed to be plucking and gutting chickens were in the chicken coop watching Squinter, my cat, do his thing, because that animal was amazing. If you’ve never seen a cat going after a mouse with one paw while he’s got one under the other paw and a third in his mouth, you are missing a cat’s reason for being.

So the scene from Bonfires in which Larx is throwing the feedbags onto the burn pile, and the cats are eliminating the fleeing mice—that’s drawn from my memories as a child. I remember how necessary clearing out the garden was, how the feedbags (in Larx’s case, it was cat food) often harbored more than feed, and how the family cats actually shook off their mantles of sloth and somnolence and for once earned their keep.

The texture of the light, the sharpness of the air in the fall, and the gladiatorial drama of life and death enacted on the stage of the fall bonfire all inspired a tremendous anticipation in my chest.

Like falling in love when you’re pushing fifty, it’s a timeless spectacle that feels brand new.

About Bonfires

Ten years ago Sheriff’s Deputy Aaron George lost his wife and moved to Colton, hoping growing up in a small town would be better for his children. He’s gotten to know his community, including Mr. Larkin, the bouncy, funny science teacher. But when Larx is dragged unwillingly into administration, he stops coaching the track team and starts running alone. Aaron—who thought life began and ended with his kids—is distracted by a glistening chest and a principal running on a dangerous road.

Larx has been living for his kids too—and for his students at Colton High. He’s not ready to be charmed by Aaron, but when they start running together, he comes to appreciate the deputy’s steadiness, humor, and complete understanding of Larx’s priorities. Children first, job second, his own interests a sad last.

It only takes one kiss for two men approaching fifty to start acting like teenagers in love, even amid all the responsibilities they shoulder. Then an act of violence puts their burgeoning relationship on hold. The adult responsibilities they’ve embraced are now instrumental in keeping their town from exploding. When things come to a head, they realize their newly forged family might be what keeps the world from spinning out of control.

About the Author

Amy Lane exists happily with her noisy family in a crumbling suburban crapmansion, and equally happily with the surprisingly demanding voices who live in her head.

She loves cats, movies, yarn, pretty colors, pretty men, shiny things, and Twu Wuv, and despises house cleaning, low fat granola bars, and vainglorious prickweenies.

She can be found at her computer, dodging housework, or simultaneously reading, watching television, and knitting, because she likes to freak people out by proving it can be done.

Connect with Amy:

Website: greenshill.com

Blog: writerslane.blogspot.com

Twitter: @amymaclane

Facebook group: Amy Lane Anonymous

Goodreads: goodreads.com/amymaclane

Stops on the blog tour:


March 17 – MM Good Book Reviews

March 24 – Divine Magazine

March 27 – Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words  

March 27 – The Novel Approach

March 28 – Alpha Book Reviews

March 29 – Love Bytes

March 30 – Gay Book Reviews

March 31 – My Fiction Nook 

Wild Unpredictable Love Goes Marching Out. This Week At Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Wild Unpredictable Love Goes Marching Out

Yes, its the final week of March, that wild, unpredictable crazy month that’s echoed the rollercoaster that is romance for so many.  Ups and downs, wild turns and topsy turvy motions that has your stomach churning. Yes, love and romance can be like that in life and certainly in our stories.  From love that finds a foothold when all hope was lost to that stunning man always out of reach suddenly turning back around to look your way to the tiger prince and the warrior mage, perhaps even more so the wonderful nerdy geeks that capture our hearts with their hesitant ways, we never know what some of our favorite books will bring us.

Last week I reviewed Amy Lane’s Bonfires, a 5 star story that continues to stay with me.  This week, Amy Lane is here to talk about it.  That story was full of unpredictable twists and turns, typical of that author.  On Saturday, April 1, I’m reviewing a book that certainly no April Fool’s Joke, Bru Baker’s Tall, Dark, and Deported, one of Dreamspinner Press’s Dreamspun Desires titles.  Its heartwarming, sweet and surprising.  Stella has one she’s reviewing that’s on my TBR list, John Inman’s story My Dragon My Knight.  Check out that review along with me.  Plus there’s that amazing Tal Bauer series The Executive Office that has another book out.  We have back to back reviews on it this week as well along with Alex Beecroft’s new supernatural series.  So many wonderful rollercoaster stories to get hooked on going into April.  What’s on your TBR list this week?  Did it make it onto ours?  Let us know!

Plus this is the last week to enter into our giveaway.  Go over your favorites, throw us your lists!  With all these great books coming out, I’m sure you can use that gift certificate!

Wild, Unpredictable Love Giveaway!

Does love make us different?  Should it vary wildly from person to person, species to species?  Or is love so deeply essential and elemental that is transcends all boundaries?  What’s unpredictable to you? In couples and in romance. Let me know what you think and your favorite books that make your point!  The random reader chosen will receive a $10 gift certificate from Dreamspinner Press.  Giveaway ends March 29th at midnight.

This Week At Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Sunday, March 26:

  • DSP GUEST POST Cy Blanca on A Teacher and a Poet
  • Wild Unpredictable Love Goes Marching Out
  • This Week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Monday, March 27:

  • Rob Rosen blog post on Fierce + Giveaway
  • Riptide Tour and Giveaway: Strays by Garrett Leigh
  • DSP GUEST POST Amy Lane on Bonfires
  • Release Blitz March 27th *The Necromancer’s Dance by S J Himes (Audiobook)
  • A Free Dreamer Review: Strays by Garrett Leigh
  • A Lila Review: One Bullet by Casey Wolfe
  • An Ali Review: One Bullet by Casey Wolfe

Tuesday, March 28:

  • DSP GUEST POST Ken Bachtold on A Company of Players
  • Release Blitz – Bronze Star by AE Wasp
  • Release Day Blitz: Enemy Within by Tal Bauer
  • Review Tour – Helena Stone’s Patience
  • A MelanieM Review: Patience by Helena Stone
  • A VVivacious Review: An Officer’s Submission (Cuffs, Collars, and Love #3) by Christa Tomlinson

Wednesday, March 29:

  • RIPTIDE TOUR Angels of Istanbul by Alex Beecroft
  • Cozzi Cove: New Beginnings, Book 4 by Joe Cosentino (interview with a character)
  • BLOG TOUR One Bullet by Casey Wolfe
  • A MelanieM Release Day Review: Counting Down by Kelly Jensen
  • A VVivacious Review: The Poison Within (Inspector Skaer #1) by Kasia Bacon
  • A MelanieM Release Day Review: Rainbow Sprinkles by Anna Martin

Thursday, March 30:

  • Blog Tour Spritzer – A Sparkling Gay Romance by Jon McDonald
  • Release Blitz – Dirty Games by Barbara Elsborg
  • Release Blitz & Review Tour – Goodnight My Angel by Sue Brown
  • A MelanieM Review: Sons of Devils (Arising #1) by Alex Beecroft
  • A VVivacious Review: Fierce by Rob Rosen
  • An Alisa Review:  Nightsong by A. M. Leibowitz

Friday, March 31:

  • Cover Reveal for Take a Chance by Megs Pritchard
  • A DSP GUEST POST Karen Bovenmyer
  • Release Blitz & Review Tour – Annabelle Jacobs’ Bitten By Design
  • A Lila Review: Enemy Within (The Executive Office #3) by Tal Bauer
  • A Paul B Review: Enemy Within (The Executive Office #3) by Tal Bauer
  • A Stella Release Day Review: My Dragon My Knight by John Inman

Saturday, April 1

A MelanieM Release Day Review: Tall, Dark, and Deported by Bru Baker

 

Cy Blanca on Writing, First Books and the release ‘A Teacher and a Poet (States of Love)’ by Cy Blanca

A Teacher and a Poet (States of Love) by Cy Blanca
D
reamspinner Press
Cover Artist: Brooke Albrecht

Available for Purchase at

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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to host Cy Blanca here today. Welcome, Cy! Please tell us all about yourself and your first story.

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Hi there, everybody. My name’s Cy Blanca, and I’m so honored that Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words allowed me to share a little bit of myself with all their wonderful readers. A Teacher and a Poet is my first attempt at getting something published, and as such I’m a complete noob when it comes to this sort of thing. (This is my first blog tour ever for my first ever published story!) So bear with me… and don’t judge too hard!

To make it easy on everybody I decided I’d answer some questions. Left to my own devices I could go on tangents that lead me from my story to facts I’ve learned about South Korea to recipes for different types of bread. But hopefully I answer well enough that you all get to know me at least a little bit. Of course, if you want to know more about me, you can follow my links down the rabbit hole and see where you end up!

So without any more stalling, here we go!

  • How much of yourself goes into a character?

As far as this story, both of the characters are 100 percent me, not gonna lie. Both Curt and Antony represent different aspects of myself, and those aspects are just augmented. There’s no real secret when it comes to how I framed my characters in this story. When writing A Teacher and a Poet, I sort of couldn’t help but put myself in every aspect of it—from the characters to the setting.

  • Does research play a role into choosing which genre you write?  Do you enjoy research or prefer making up your worlds and cultures?

No matter the genre, I think research is integral to creating a world and characters that people can believe and become invested in. Even worlds that are wholly imagined have some aspect of research in terms of what things are plausible and how the boundaries can be pushed or even broken. Even when we strive for complete originality or an organic creative experience, there’s always a certain amount of control to the chaos. It’s just how the universe works.

I enjoy research to a point—I’ve always been inquisitive, so just finding out new things is always fun for me. Having a frame to work within serves as a launching point, from which a story and its characters and environments can actually come to life. Even within a certain set of parameters, human experiences are always different and always spontaneous.

  • Has your choice of childhood or teenage reading genres carried into your own choices for writing?

I think no matter how hard we try, the things we grew up with influence everything we do, the things we think and say. It’s unavoidable. Even when you want to go in a totally different direction, you’re relying on what you’ve learned to decide to completely avoid going down an expected path. For A Teacher and a Poet, particularly, aspects of my childhood are all over this story—after all, the setting is my actual primary school. Kinda couldn’t avoid putting the things I’ve read and experienced in the story. Especially when it comes to what I’ve read growing up; narratives, writing styles, characters have all molded my writing. I fell in love with words at a very early age, so different combinations of them, different ways to make words make music…. It’s all a product of what I’ve read and continue to read.

  • Have you ever had to put an ‘in progress’ story aside because of the emotional ties with it?  You were hurting with the characters or didn’t know how to proceed?

I’ve got like five stories that I’ve had to just put aside. The story I’ve been working on for three years, for instance, was curbed for over six months at one point because I knew the ending before I knew the story leading up to it, and I was really just too afraid to write the ending because of how emotional it was. Honestly… I put it down because of the ending! (Still working on that one, by the way… whoops…!)

  • Do you like HFN or HEA? And why?

I think in some ways we all like happy endings because no matter how cynical we all are, we all want things to work out. Even if it’s not necessarily “happily ever after,” people like things to be in order at the conclusion of a journey. Even if it’s only happy in the moment—which I tend to favor more because it rings a little truer to me—in that moment the characters have found what they’re looking for. In the end, that’s all we can hope for, isn’t it? To be happy in the here and now? We can plan for happiness in the future, sure. But we don’t live in the future. We’re living in this second, this moment. May as well create some happiness while we’re breathing and being right now, right?

  • Do you read romances, as a teenager and as an adult?

I never read them as a teenager because my idea of the romance genre was the grocery store romances my grandmother used to read. They looked boring to me. Then everything changed when I read Amy Lane’s Sidecar. Two words: Mind. Blasted! I had no earthly idea romances could be written that way, that romances were being written that way! It was an eye-opening experience, one that shaped my reading as an adult.

  • Who do you think is your major influence as a writer?  Now and growing up?

This is a tough one. Stevie Wonder? I think, yes. He’s the major influence for most things in my life. His understanding of the world, his ability to make words fit around each other…. In A Teacher and a Poet it’s obvious, at least to me, how much music plays a role in how I write. I have to be listening to music to be able to do most things. So, yes, Stevie Wonder is probably my biggest influence as a writer… as a creative mind, if I’m being honest.

  • How do you feel about the eBook format and where do you see it going?

I think eBook is definitely here to stay. As much as it pains me to think this, physical books are slowly becoming a relic, a novelty for those who’ve always loved the feel of words in their hands. In terms of my feelings on eBook format, I’m totally all for it. At first, as with most who grew up reading books, I was a little resistant. But why? I think any vehicle that allows you to carry as many books and stories as you possibly can is a good thing. The only limit to the amount of books you can have on your person at one time is how much digital space you have… and considering the size of most eBooks (a standard eBook, between 200-350 pages, on a Kindle won’t take up more than 3-5 MB of space; even less on a generic e-reader), the possibilities are endless!

  • Do you have a favorite among your own stories?  And why?

Well, as this is my first one being published, this one…? HaHa. But honestly, I’ve put so much work and emotion into the one I’ve been writing for the past few years, that one might preemptively be my favorite.

  • What’s next for you as an author?

Hopefully more published things? I’ve got words all over the place, and they’re doing no good just sitting in my head or in Dropbox. I’m never not writing, in one way or another. So hopefully A Teacher and a Poet is the first in several stories I get to share with people.

Thank you again to Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words. I’m so stoked that I get to reach out and talk to your readers! (Even more so because y’all were so kind to me and let me turn this in a little late… ::coughcough::)

About A Teacher and a Poet (States of Love)

Shawnee County, Kansas, might not be the most accepting place for a gay couple, but boyfriends Antony James and Curtis Ramírez have made it their home. Both of them work at Pauline Central Primary School, and while Antony is content teaching, Curt would rather pursue his passion: poetry. He plans to resign, but he doesn’t get the chance.

Working together has its risks, and when a student witnesses Antony and Curt sneaking a kiss in the workroom, they’re reprimanded. The school board’s punishment is mild, but some members of the community aren’t willing to let the indiscretion go. That small mistake could cost Antony and Curt their home—or it could remind them that home is in the heart, and as long as they stay strong in their love, they’ll always have a place to belong.

A MelanieM Release Day Review: Bonfires by Amy Lane

Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Ten years ago Sheriff’s Deputy Aaron George lost his wife and moved to Colton, hoping growing up in a small town would be better for his children. He’s gotten to know his community, including Mr. Larkin, the bouncy, funny science teacher. But when Larx is dragged unwillingly into administration, he stops coaching the track team and starts running alone. Aaron—who thought life began and ended with his kids—is distracted by a glistening chest and a principal running on a dangerous road.

Larx has been living for his kids too—and for his students at Colton High. He’s not ready to be charmed by Aaron, but when they start running together, he comes to appreciate the deputy’s steadiness, humor, and complete understanding of Larx’s priorities. Children first, job second, his own interests a sad last.

It only takes one kiss for two men approaching fifty to start acting like teenagers in love, even amid all the responsibilities they shoulder. Then an act of violence puts their burgeoning relationship on hold. The adult responsibilities they’ve embraced are now instrumental in keeping their town from exploding. When things come to a head, they realize their newly forged family might be what keeps the world from spinning out of control.

Bonfires is one of those Amy Lane books that’s bigger than any review any reader could possibly write about it.  It encompasses so many huge elements and hits so many big emotional targets that when it comes to pulling it all together in one review I find it escapes me.  It doesn’t help that you go willingly into this story knowing there’s an aspect of it that’s going to tear you apart in Amy Lane’s “shred your heart” way.  You do it knowing something worthwhile will come out of it, as it does here.

Bonfires is not simply a romance any more than starting a fire is about putting two twigs together and expecting a spark. No, Bonfires is about how families are built, how foundations are laid for people to come together to become a strong cohesive unit, powerful enough to withstand some of life’s worst blows, public condemnation and more.  First you get these two men who have already had long relationships that led to having families and children. The men are real, grounded in their lives and ages.  You get them and understand them immediately.

Then you get the amazing, believable, (and not so amazing) kids on both sides.  Yes, just as in life, not all the offspring are sweetness and light.  That’s always a relief to see that bit of reality hit the pages even if its not so welcome for the couple. There’s no instant meshing of families.  Things take time, talking, and work.  There’s actual adulting here.  There’s two houses, schedules, and how and if to come out to your various working environments and staff.  Complicated? You bet and  absolutely absorbing.  Why?  Because we care about these men and children.   We gotten to know them intimately.  At school and at their workplaces.  So when deeply concerning things are happening at the school to people, adult and teens we are intensely concerned about, we care about that too.

Along with Aaron and Larx trying to figure things out for themselves and their kids, there’s another storyline unfolding that’s of equal importance and intertwined with Aaron and Larx.  Its the element with the tragic repercussions that reverberate throughout the community and the two men’s burgeoning relationship.  All things elements, all these pieces of tinder that add up to Amy Lane’s powerful Bonfire….and there’s more.  Of course, there’s always more…

When I  said its about families.  I mean families of all types. Its also the flip side of families…those that do irreparable damage to their young and their community.  And its about the larger families found within the various social communities.  Here Amy Lane’s knowledge of the school system comes in handy with the interplay with the Board of Directors, the various school teachers and factions within the education system.  It all rings very true.

At the end of Bonfires, when you finish the last sentence and reflect back on all those lives and people that Amy Lane created and you spent time with, the tears shed,  the hearts that broke and got pieced back together again, the families made into one…I still think back over this incredible story and realize there’s so much more that I never addressed or could even begin to.   Its as though she crammed a series into one book and no one noticed.  What I do think you should do is read this book.  Its one for thinking about, thinking about families and love and all the astonishing things it takes to get that right.  If we’re lucky and work hard.   When making my Best of 2017 List, Bonfires will be on it.  That’s my recommendation.

Cover Artist: Anne Cain.  Works for the story, although I’m not sure I’m that crazy about it.  Don’t exactly know why.

Sales Links

Book Details:

ebook, 280 pages
Expected publication: March 24th 2017 by Dreamspinner Press, LLC
Original TitleBonfires
ISBN 1635333415 (ISBN13: 9781635333411)
Edition LanguageEnglish

A Lila Release Day Review: Cowboys Don’t Ride Unicorns (Cowboys Don’t #2) by Tara Lain

Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5

Cowboy Danny Boone—a name he made up one drunken night and has regretted ever since—harbors a big past and yearns for a small future. A short, bright career as a champion bull rider almost ended in his death when his homophobic father discovered Danny was gay. Now Danny longs for a plot of land he can build a ranch house on and enough money to make up for some of the education he missed.

Danny also hides a preference for beautiful femmes who like to top—a combo rarer than a unicorn. Then onto the guest ranch where Danny works drives San Francisco decorator Laurie Belmont, a young man so gorgeous he makes horses gasp, and so ballsy he almost kills Danny’s attacker.

Laurie’s trying to find his way out from under the thumb of a domineering mother, helpless father, and rich, privileged boyfriend.

But no matter the attraction, their lives are worlds apart, and cowboys don’t ride unicorns.

Cowboys Don’t Ride Unicorns has a nice combination of romance and rodeo. One didn’t take from the other, and the scenes about Danny’s rides were well-written and interesting. As well as Laurie’s reactions to the events.

I like Danny and Laurie, but I think I like them more separately than as a couple. Their characterization was spot-on and we learned a lot about their pasts and present. They are complexed men, shaped by their families’ dynamics. But in the end, opened to love and companionship.

They had to overcome their share of hurt and family issues to get comfortable with who they are and what they wanted from a partner. They had to sacrifice a little of themselves to let the other into their lives. I really liked that Danny knew what he wanted in a relationship and didn’t shy away from it.

The story includes a great group of secondary characters, and we get to see Kai, Rand, and the kids again. I’m normally not a fan of an MC leaving his boyfriend/partner to be with the other MC and this story is no exception. It goes with the story, but I think Grove became a scapegoat. I hope he gets his own HEA.

The only thing missing on the cover by Reese Dante is some glitter to give it a bit flavor. It goes with the story but is a little bland with only Danny in it. It needed some Laurie too.

Sale Links: Dreamspinner | Amazon | Nook

ebook, 226 pages
Published: March 22, 2017, Dreamspinner Press
ISBN: 1635335078 (ISBN13: 9781635335071)
Edition Language: English

Series: Cowboys Don’t
Book #1: Cowboys Don’t Come Out
Book #2: Cowboys Don’t Ride Unicorns