Category: Science Fiction

Review of Nature of the Beast Outside The City #1 by Amylea Lyn

Rating: 4.25 stars

Raine O’ Kelley was different. Inside the Domed City conformity was the rule, starting with your physical attributes.  White blond hair and blue gray eyes, that was the norm, but not Raine.  His hair was the color of gold and his eyes were a deep green.  The fact that he varied from the norm was enough to guarantee that no women would ever choose him as a husband.  He wouldn’t even be employed if his influential father had not interceded with the government to get him a job.  He was too different even for his father, and his father knew his deepest secret, the manner in which Raine was truly, criminally different.

In a society where nature was outlawed and any possession of vegetation considered a felony, Raine could communicate with plants.  He could make them grow, and they sang to him.  In fact, plants were as necessary to Raine as was oxygen and blood.  His mother was gifted or cursed in the same way and because his father loved her, he allowed her a plant or two even though the government forbade it. When she died, his father removed all the plants only to watch his son sicken and fade. His father brought one back but only because Raine was the last link he had to the woman he loved.

Now Raine works for the government and hides his gift behind locked doors in his apartment, where his bedroom has a living carpet of grass and forbidden plants take up  all available space.  Then he is found out and sent to prison for life.  Abused daily by the guards and with no contact with plants, Raine starts to die.  The guards throw him to The Beast, a fearsome monster kept to dispose of prisoners and a miracle happens.  The Beast protects him, takes care of him.  The Beast turns out to be more a tortured man than animal and the two are drawn together.  When Raine discovers The Beast comes from Outside the City, and that the guards intend to kill them, escape becomes paramount.  Will their relationship hold firm in the face of obstacles both inside and outside of the City?  Or will animalistic nature of The Beast destroy their bond first.

This story both frustrated and delighted me.  Amylea Lyn’s Domed City is a dystopian society that we have seen before.  A city ruled by an oppressive government is walled off from all nature.  It’s inhabitants live a grey life in a grey city under a dome that let’s in very little light.  While the idea is not original, the author does a wonderful job with her descriptions of the uniformity of city life and its denizens.  But where she shines is in her creation of Raine O’Kelley.  Raine’s life force is entertwined with plants, energy and love flowing between them.  So vivid are the description of Raine’s interaction with nature that the story dimmed as the plot took a different direction.

The Beast is Ashlon, lost son of the chief of the Katria.  One of his own people betrayed him, and he was taken into captivity by city guards. Ashlon has been tortured and beaten for years in the prison under the City. His memory of his life outside has dimmed and his Beast has taken control in order to survive.  The prologue tells the story of Ashlon’s capture from his POV and gives us a strong introduction to the Beast.  Ashlon’s confusion and rage comes through so beautifully that it was a little jolting to have him disappear after the Prologue. Chapters pass by before we see him again.

Raine has obtained his seeds and plants through the black market and I loved the glimpses we are given of the nature underground that manages to survive the Government interdict.  When Raine’s secret garden is discovered and he is arrested at work,  he manages to send a message to an anonymous source who wisks away his plants before the guards can destroy them.  What a tantalizing glimpse into a forbidden section of  society.  I wanted more, much more of this plot line.  Instead, we get Raine convicted of his crime and sent to prison, where he is gang raped each night, and forced into a work detail by day.  Not surprisingly, Raine starts to die.  A trip to the infirmary becomes a death sentence and a trip to The Beast’s cell.

Raine’s introduction to the Beast is a little muddled as his thoughts seem surprisingly clear for someone as sick and abused as he is. Previous descriptions show Raine broken and fading from the nightly sexual abuse by the prison guards but that seems to disappear inside The Beast’s cell. As both men become aroused by close contact with each other, I kept waiting for an appropriate response from Raine that would be in keeping with that of a rape victim.  It never happened.  There is a few fleeting mentions, once when Raine and The Beast are attacked by the Head Guard, and one in the village, but then it goes away completely.  And with that lack of reaction, the character of Raine became less real in my mind which was a shame as he is such a unique creation.

The plot redeems itself as the two main characters flee the prison and the City.  Again, the author rewards us with lush descriptions of the Outside and Katrian life inside their village.  But each time Raine’ gift comes forward in neat, creative little ways, I mourn the loss of a totally different plot and wish the story had taken a different turn.  Especially during a major fight towards the end, where the symbiotic nature between Raine and the plants comes to the fore.  I loved this!  And it was such a strong part of the plot that the shifter side of the story seemed a little mundane.

So while I did enjoy this book, the shadow of a greater one lurking behind it kept me from giving it a higher rating.  I look forward to more books by Amylea Lyn and the fulfillment of the promise of an extraordinary story shown here.

Cover: Artist: Reese Dante.  The cover is terrific.  From the terrific graphics to the font style, the cover design both delights and informs you of the story within. Great job.

Available from Silver Publishing, Amazon and ARe.

Review of Battle of Hearts by Valentina Heart

Rating: 4.5 stars

For years, vampires and shifters had remained hidden from human societies, an uneasy truce keeping the peace between them.  Then a blood crazed vampire kills two shifter cubs and the war is on.  Years later, the war has reduced the numbers of all involved, and the few humans left have been forced to take sides in order to survive.  Valerian, a wolf shifter, is one of three Alphas in a combined pack of shifters of all species.  He is their top hunter and he is relentless in his duties. The constant fighting and killing have taken an emotional toll and Valerian keeps himself isolated in all ways from those around him, his world narrowed down to fucking and fighting.

Teddy, a cougar shifter, has been wandering alone since he was kicked out of his pride by his father, a follower of the old ways of pride leadership.  Weary from constant fighting and hungry, Teddy lets his guard down to sleep and is captured by vampires looking for new sources of blood.  When he awakens, he is hanging upside being drained of his blood. The vampires have a new system, keeping shifters and humans in cages and just alive  enough to drain them daily until they die.  Weakened, Teddy prepares to die until a shifter pack led by Valerian enters the lair and rescues them all.

Valerian is unpleasantly surprised to find his mate among those shifters he has rescued, and a cougar no less.  While Valerian’s wolf howls for his mate, Valerian the man has no time for Teddy and tells him  in no uncertain and gruff terms.  Teddy too is less than pleased with Valerian as a mate and the battle of wills is on.  Can two strong willed and angry shifters let their guards down and accept each other as mate?  Or will the Battle of Hearts be lost?

I loved Valentina Heart’s take on shifters and vampires.  From the very first page, Heart paints a picture of a world so deteriorated that the buildings have turned to rubble, humans are in hiding, shifters of all types control the forests and  both vampires and shifters live in caves underground. All are constantly at war for supremacy and survival, the prevailing sense of desperation so real the reader can almost taste it. The characters here have been stripped down to basics and Valerian is a prime example of that.  He is all snarls and aggression, attributes needed in a professional killer and alpha.  Heart makes it clear that all the deaths and loss have inured him to affection and the possibility of love.  Even his cubs by various nameless females are relegated to the very outskirts of his memory, necessary to Valerian only as replacements for those lost in battle.

Teddy is a shifter you will take immediately into your heart.  He so desperately wants to find a home and a pack/pride that will accept him that when his original joy at finding a mate turns into dismay and anger over finding that Valerian is, in his words, a “dumbass”, you are right there with him in total agreement. Time and again, Teddy has to do battle with the cougar inside him who wants his mate no matter how many times he is rejected.  The name Teddy is a perfect choice for this character as it tells you so much about him.  He’s vulnerable, great of heart, brave and bristly. My heart was in my throat as Teddy goes from hurt inflicted by vampires to hurts meted out by his mate and back again. But as Teddy uncovers the redeeming features of Valerian’s personality, so does the reader and you start to pull for both of them to find the path to each other.

Lets not forget the secondary characters here as Valentina Heart certainly does not.  They are as beautifully drawn as the main ones of Teddy and Valerian.  In fact this entire book is populated by shifters that I would love to visit again and again so easy it is to wrap your arms around them.  How can you not love the idea of two domino playing alphas who never seem to shift away from their game yet still take care of pack business? The story is so well done right down to the smallest detail.  My only quibble here is that the fight at the end between our heros and main vampire  was over far too quickly considering the buildup.  I would have thought it would have been drawn out a little longer with more complications than it occurred in the book.  Still, a very satisfying ending. Valentina Heart was a new author for me and I look forward to reading her other books.  I hope that I will find that they are as well done as this one.  Great job all around.

Cover:  Cover artist is Reese Dante. What a sexy, gorgeous cover.  OK, yes, that is Valerian absolutely!  Love the graphics, love the fonts, and the addition of the sword is the topping!

Available from Silver Publishing, Amazon and ARe.

Review of A Token In Time by Ethan Day

Rating: 4.85 stars

Zachary Hamilton comes from a family endowed with special gifts.  He has them as well and it has cost him everything.  Zachary doesn’t want his gift and his family doesn’t think he should have it  either.  To “return it” is to die so Zachary and his love, Nick, have been on the run  from the Hamilton family since they were teenagers.  Living as fugitives has been hard and each time they think they are safe, the Hamiltons find them yet again.  Then Zachary and Nick land in Los Angeles, California and their luck seems to change.  A benefactor appears out of the blue, offering them a store for their antique business and a place to call home.  And for a while they are happy.  Until a bullet shatters their lives and Nick dies in  Zachary’s arms.

Zachary is consumed by his grief, refusing to leave his apartment until Dave, his assistant in the shop, pulls him out of his house and back into their shop.  As Zachary tries to determine his next step regarding his family, he receives a phone call from a lawyer.  It seems that Mark Castle, a famous movie star from the 50’s has died and left Zachary the entire Castle estate, including an ancient relic.  This powerful token will change Zachary’s life and those around him if Zachary has the courage to use it. And so begins A Token In Time.

Well, what an amazing story.  I read it twice before sitting down to write this review, not because I needed to but because I wasn’t ready to let  go of Zachary and Marc and all who come with them, past and present.  I have been a fan of Ethan Day’s books but A Token In Time represents a departure from the light comedic fiction I have come to expect from him.  A Token In Time fluctuates between contemporary and historical romance under an umbrella of the supernatural and it does so beautifully.  The story of Zachary Hamilton and Marc Castle flows like a Mobius strip from the year 2008 back to the 1950’s and around again and never hits a false note.

Ethan Day has certainly done his research into life in the 50’s and it shows without it coming across like an information dump.  When Zachary (and the reader) land in Los Angeles circa 1958, the surprises are endless and sometimes very funny.  Stereophonic Hi Fi is new and wonderful, Coke is Coke, and gas “costs a friggin’ quarter”.  And the lack of the internet and Star Bucks come as an unhappy surprise to a young man accustomed to the everyday pluses of life in 2008.   Oh it’s so great to tag along with Zachary as he visits the West Hollywood Sears store and has to pick out pants that most certainly aren’t low riders!  Ethan Day’s deft touch with comedy is everywhere without overwhelming the dark and angst filled romance behind A Token In Time. Ethan Day brought the 50’s vividly back to life so much so that I was reaching for the iTunes store before the end of the book to recapture the sounds of the times.

And lets talk characters shall we?  I have loved Ethan Days previous creations but the characters he has brought to this story are remarkable and have so much depth to them as to be unforgettable.   Zachary is a complicated young man, beautiful, gifted, and still so full of joie de vivre through all his pain. But he doesn’t fully come to life until he falls onto the sand and into 1958. Free from the mechanisms of his family, he starts to blossom and the love affair between Zachary and the reader snaps to life as well.  Marc Castle too is rendered here in gorgeous Technicolor from his golden tan to white movie star smile.   We come to love him dearly the more we get to know him.  And don’t get me started on Jonathon Reed, Max, Maddie, and  Leo.  The author keeps adding characters so real, so damn lovable that I wanted to hold onto them for dear life and not let them go. I am going to beg here, Ethan Day.  Please consider giving us Jonathon and Max’s story.  Pretty please?  With fuzzy swinging dice on top?

And lurking behind all of this is a constant menace, the dark we hide from, the monsters we know are under the bed.  Skillfully, the dread increases, the anxiety ramps ups a notch after notch much like the music from the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. We know where the danger coming from in both eras but not how or when it will strike. And strike it does in stomach churning, heart stopping ways.  Mystically, brutally rendered evil to balance the joy and love that infuses the rest of the story.

So why not give it 5 stars? Only because of the way the story begins.  A minor quibble but it took me a little while to get accustomed to the manner in which Zachary and Nick’s back story is told.  I found it a little jumpy at the beginning, but it soon settles itself out and the reader gets sucked in this wonderful page turner not to be let out until the very last word of the epilogue.  And you will love the end.  Really, you will.  And now I will say no more.

Cover:  Winterheart Designs did the cover and they did an outstanding job of it.  It looks like it came right off the book jacket of a novel from the 50’s, both in color and illustration.  It really couldn’t be more perfect. I would love to have a copy of it for myself, framed and hung on the wall, it’s that good.

Available from MLR Press, Amazon and ARe.

When a Tit Should Be A Nip Or Leave Those Orbs Alone!

It is rant time on Scatteredthoughtsandroguewords because my breaking point has been reached, people!!!!  Since I became a guest reviewer on Joyfully Jay and started my blog, the number of books I have been reading has gone off the charts.  So it won’t surprise you all that some of the books I have been reading have been less than stellar and some have been just outstanding. The quality of the books has been all over the place but some truly awful world usage has popped up again and again.  And I can’t take it any more! So to all authors out there (and you know who you are), please I am begging you, cease and desist from the following:

Orbs: The use of the word orbs when describing eyes. No, no, no, and absolutingfuckatively no!  Eyes may be described as many things, windows of the soul, soulful, leering, squinty, bedroom, vacant but never an orb. Unless you are describing an alien, no that still doesn’t work.  Then its eyes on stalks, like these beauties pictured here.  Orbs are spheres, globes, balls, spheroids, spherules, circles.  One can say “My what a lovely orb you are carrying today, destruction of the universe on the agenda?” What I don’t hear or want to hear?  “My what lovely gray orbs you have? From your mother’s side of the family?” Yet, I have picked up two books in a row (and read several more) in which the main character describes the hunk in front of him with blue gray orbs, or fiery orbs, or who cares what color orbs.

It stops me cold. Especially when the author has done a wonderful job otherwise.  So please stop. Run over to Val Kovalin’s site and read/buy the article How To Describe Eyes  on obsidianbookshelf.com.  Then laminate it and stick it above the laptop or whatever you use to write with. When you get the urge to splurge with the vocabulary and start to type orb – stop.  If you have already done the deed, then become acquainted with Find and Replace.  Use it often. Find “orb” replace with “eye.” It’s simple.  I am begging you here! Don’t make me come find you!

Of Tits and Nips: There I was, happily ensconced in bed with my Kindle, reading this smoking hot sex scene.  I have my glass of wine and I’m popping bon bons like bullets shooting out of a AK 47 as the two main characters finally strip off each others clothes as a prelude to some hot man love.  John/Ethan/Insert Name runs his hands lovingly over Zane/Troy/Adam/Whoevers chest and then gives his tits a twist. Wait! What?  Did I just read that right?  I quickly put down the bon bons and scan that paragraph again. I enlarge the font and read “Hank/Ralph/Morey then proceeds to lick and bite Stan/Harry/Mordecai’s tits like a milk-starved calf reunited with his mother.”  Yep, it’s still tits.  The Kindle gets cold in my hands as I contemplate a chest and sex scene gone wrong.

When I think of a man’s chest  (and the good Lord knows I do), it’s those wonderful sexy nipples that grab my attention first.  Large or small, tight or at ease, all colors, it doesn’t matter.  I just love them.  I like to look at them. I like to read about them. Except when they are described as tits.  Right or wrong, to me the word tit has feminine connotations.  Woman have beautiful tits, gorgeous breasts, outstanding tatas, basooms, gazongas, whatever.  We have oodles of names for womens breasts.  Men who gender identify as women and men transitioning to women have tits. But men? Straight or gay men? Well then, it’s nipples all the way or nips if you prefer.  If you have a man nipping the nip in a story, I am allfor it.  Go on, lick that nip! Have your way with it! Just please don’t call it a tit.  I have read descriptions where they were called tight buds, and I am okay with that.  Nubs?  That’s good too.   Rub that nub !  But tits? When you get the urge, just take a gander at the picture above. And just say no.

 
Smiling Crookedly:  This is just a minor pain that is looking to evolve into a major one with each new book that I read.  Again, don’t get me wrong, I love characters that have that snarky, crooked grin. Usually it is pasted on the face of some scalawag trying to get a rise out of our hero and that grin just says you know he will succeed.  But lately, some authors just can’t leave it at one or two references a story, or even a chapter.  Once they start, the use of that crooked grin just steamrolls until it is the only facial expression that one character has.

I love it when the character beams, smiles from ear to ear, or has a broad or shy grin. And what has happened to the scowl? The frowny face?  The leer?  Please let us not forget to have our characters frown, glower, glare, grimace, give the occasional black or dirty look.  I do see lots of smirks these days as well.  Let’s not forget our characters can still be smug, snicker, and have a smothered laugh every now and again. This is just a cautionary plea to all authors.  Please don’t botox your characters into facialimmobility and one expression hunks. The characters,your stories and the reader deserve far better than that.  Just picture your male ideal, leaning in that oh so sexy manner against the wall, watching you.  Could you take a crooked smile all day or after a few hours or so are you ready to slap his face off? See?  Let’s keep those crooked smiles at a minimum please.  Thank you.

I am winding down here.  Just writing about these things will give me nightmares. Oh, and I am sure this is only Part 1 as other poor or overused word choices come to mind.  So let me leave you with a visual to make some of this come together
.What do you see when you look at these? Are those orbs on tits? Or eyes in jars?  Can orbs with crooked smiles and tits be far behind? Thoughts like these will send me running into the closet and shutting the doors. *shudder*   You authors out there !  You have the power to stop this!  Use the force wisely!  We beg you!

And send me those words that make you hurl when you see them in a story.  I am making a list. And checking it twice!

And stay tuned for more Vocabulary Gone Bad!

Review of Vertigo by Michael Mandrake

Rating: 3 stars

London, England 1916. Dr. Hayden Curry is having a rough time of it.  He is a renowned scientist whose recent experiments have all failed and his longtime lover, companion, and assistant in the lab, Lawrence, has been committed to a mental institution.  Then there is the guilt Hayden is feeling of being the person who signed the papers locking Lawrence away in Dr. Gothersbury’s Clinic for the mentally impaired.  A  call from the city morgue interrupts his ennui and informs him that they have something of unknown origins for him to investigate. The “thing” turns out to be a dead body but is it human or animal?  It seems to have the attributes of both.  Intrigued, Hayden and his man servant, Berrows, collect the body and head home to the lab. Just as he is to begin his autopsy the thing comes alive, introduces himself as David, and asks for the Doctor’s help in finding out how he came to be.  Nonplussed Hayden watches in bemusement as David shifts from a manbeast into a gorgeous young man, the most beautiful he has ever seen.

The mystery of David interests the scientist in Hayden while the handsome man stirs up lust and desires Hayden had thought gone with Lawrence.  But is David really what he seems?  As Hayden becomes more befuddled and obsessed with David, David slowly takes over the Doctor’s life in every aspect.  Can Hayden uncover the truth behind David before it is too late to save himself?

Vertigo is an apt title as David succeeds in keeping Hayden Curry off balance for the duration of the story. The same can be said for the reader. And to my mind, it results in the same end for both of us.  As a reader and reviewer, Vertigo, stands for a succession of missed opportunities as well as the author never achieving a balance of plot and characterization.  There are several plots contained within this story, mashed together in a patchwork frame.  It starts out promisingly enough, with the thought that the author is going into a historial Werewolf in London theme when David’s original werewolf physique shifts back to human.  But that storyline is quickly dispatched as the plot sequeways into a Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde  whenever David’s plans/wishes/demands are not met.  When thwarted, David shifts back into the original creature whose threats and menace force Hayden to do as creature wishes, including having sex with him, drinking of his liguids (sweat, semen, blood) etc..  I thought we were looking at a gay take on duality of nature theme, which I would have loved to have read. Then as more of David’s backstory emerges Vertigo turns into a demon cast from Heaven horror tale and all becomes lost with a plodding story and characters whose menace has now vanished into a mawkish, and obsessive love.

Another problem is the character of Dr. Hayden Curry.  He is just an unpleasant man.  He is vain, selfish, self absorbed, and thinks society revolves around him. This would have worked in the story’s favor had it turned into a tale of comeuppance and the tribulations that await someone who gets what they wish for.  And the reader gets a glimpse of that now and again.  But clearly Michael Mandrake wishes us to sympathize with Hayden and the path he has chosen for himself, to walk along side his demon lover no matter the consequences.  The upshot of this is that I could have cared less what happened to either Hayden or David, or anyone else in their circle.

The only victim here is that of Lawrence who makes a brief reappearance late in the story and is the fulcrum for the remaining drama that is Hayden’s life at this point. Lawrence is an innocent, undeserving of his fate and as a object of Hayden’s love,  He is another missed opportunity as the only likable person introduced in the story. The fate the author has in store for him is dreadful while clearly intended to be the exact opposite.  He emerges from his captivity still in love with Hayden, trustful and ready to take up where they left off.  Instead, the tag team of David and Hayden will leave him with a gap in his memory and a suicide to deal with.  Not my idea of making amends for the terrible things both David and Hayden did to Lawrence and another misstep by an author who has lost their way with this story.

David is the final main problem here.  As a man, he is controlling,self centered and disagreeable, as a beast he maintains a sufficient threat as to be menacing  and is the most interesting in this form, but finally as a demon, well he is just not very demon like.  He had wandered the earth being the “rumination of man” then spots the child that is to be his eternal love , acts more petulant than obsessed, pouts and has bouts of sullenness. But a mighty demon cast from Heaven? No, that just does not figure into the equation.  He is just not that evil or should I say believably evil.   David the evil demon.  *shakes head*

All the disparate plot lines gather together into an preposterous ending where God is unhappy with the plot (as is the reader), takes away all their powers, and Hayden flings himself out the window on his way to death and a happy eternity spent with David doing Satan’s deeds.  No really they are very happy together. Well, except for the fact that Hayden is clothed in the garments he was buried in, but that is just a trifle.

There were minor issues such as modern American phrases and notions coming from a 1916 London setting and background.  I realize that this is a fantasy but a little homework would have alleviated this problem. Minor Rant Alert! I also have problems with the usage of the word “orb” when used in conjunction with or as a description of eyes.  There are blue orbs, fiery orbs, and so on.  I wish that every author using this as a noun  for eyes immediately select Find and Replace in the Tool section and use it to delete the word orb in every reference. This cannot go on.  I don’t know about you but when I look at a person I don’t think “What lovely orbs they have.” Most people don’t,  so why use it in a story? This cannot be solely attributed to Michael Mandrake as I recently read no less than two other books with the same issue. This was just the breaking point. So please no more orbs unless they are magical ones used by sorcerers.  End rant.

Vertigo is the second book I have read of Michael Mandrake’s and I think the author has promise.  Perhaps a good editor and some crit partners would be of assistance in eliminating some of the problems I had with this novel.  Vertigo has some wonderful stories buried within it, just not the one the author chose in the end.  And that is a real shame.

Cover: The cover is as confused as the story.  Vertigo takes place in London in 1916, so what are the modern cover boys doing here?  And that font is terrible.

Review of Josh of the Damned Triple Feature by Andrea Speed

Rating: 5 stars

Josh Caplan is not just  your average convenience store clerk.  But that’s ok because the Quik-Mart where he works the night shift? Well, it has a hell portal out back, werewolves peeing on the outside ice machine, and an endless parade of weird customers from hell. Whether it is the zombies buying frozen burritos or a love lorn yeti, Josh handles it all with a commendable nonchalance and sangfroid far beyond his years. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that his oh so hot boyfriend is a 300 year old vampire with powers out the whazoo!  Can anything upset Josh’s unflappability?  Why yes, there is.  All it takes is a visit from a voracious facial hair, an attack from an overcompensating Cthulhu, and a visit from the Hell Boss herself with a mission for Josh to make a job at Wendy’s look promising.  It’s all here.  Read it for yourself.

While it is true that I am addicted to all things Andrea Speed, Josh Caplan holds a special, albeit warped, place in my heart.  With each new customer that walks the aisles to the freezer section, Josh is ready for anything, even if it’s a few extra cents from the Take A Penny tray to help him/them/it complete their purchase.  That lovesick yeti from Peek-A-Boo (Book #2) is back and Josh calls him Professor Bobo as a nod to one of my favorites MST3K.  Great smacks into wonderfulness!  Josh has gotten fond of him and who wouldn’t?  Then there is Colin, his vampire boyfriend who is fond of sweets, Bailey’s Irish Creme and  rock n roll.  He’s handy to have around when the  hell customers get frisky or the human customers pose a threat.  Yep, you read that right.  Most of the time, it’s the humans that cause the most problems. Ok, that is par for the course at convenience stores anywhere. Moving on.

Triple Feature contains three new Josh of the Damned stories. Night of the Mustache, I Was Cthulhu’s Love Slave, and Interview With The Empire where we finally learn why Josh is so special.  I started giggling from page 1 and didn’t stop until the end.  I mean really. Stan Cthulhu? Stop it.  Really, I mean it.  Now I am going to have to start reading all over again.

Reading these stories are like munching on bonbons stuffed with weed.  Oozy chocolately goodness on the outside, mindbending surprises on the inside.  Combine all that with snappy dialog, outrageously memorable characters, and all too short stories and you have the Josh of the Damned series.  Throw in some added sweetness as well, because it’s there too.  I just love these books.  Just thinking about them makes my day.  Pick them up, and give them a read.  Josh and company will make your day too.

Cover:  Cover artist is LC Chase.  The cover is just one more treat in this veritable basket of goodies.  I would love to have a framed copy.  Just outstanding.

Available from Riptide Publishing, Amazon and ARe.

Check out Andrea Speed at http://andreaspeed.com/

Review of Abandoned Galactic Betrayal #1 by Silvia Violet

Review written for JoyfullyJay (4/14/12) and copy of book obtained for that purpose.

Rating:  3 stars (but only because I haven’t laughed this hard in ages)

Lark Zaccaro and his partner Derek Carlson are agents for the Intergalactic Investigations Bureau. While on assignment on a alien planet, their cover is blown and Derek Carlson is caught. Zaccaro flees the planet leaving his partner to be imprisoned and tortured for months.  Upon rescuing Derek, the Bureau informs him that his partner was the one who betrayed them all and left Derek to die.

Lark Zaccaro is deep under cover as the warden on a corrupt prison planet with no way out until a small spacecraft crash lands near the prison site.  When the guards drag the pilot before him, Lark is stunned to see that the pilot is none other than the man he thought he would never see again, Derek Carlson.  Derek has his own mission to accomplish, spring a young man from prison for his sister.  As the sexual heat flares between them once more, the men must put aside recriminations and past betrayals and work together if both men wish to live to get off planet.

Where to start?  Where to start?  I have not run across so many ludicrously unbelievable plot points, absurd alien names and just downright silliness since watching the MST3K’s “Manos: The Hands of Fate”.  I knew we were heading into Monty Python Lane when the Intergalactic Bureau they both work for is called IIB, yes, that’s right “Twobee”.  Immediately I started singing “twobee, twobee two”.

Then lets take the men.  Both are supposed to be hardened field agents and were partners together for years.  We don’t get really any of their back story only that Derek underwent such extreme torture as mere men do not recover from while bitterly blaming his partner for leaving him.  Lark now runs a corrupt prison where he’s had to do things so horrible that he has nightmares, oh and he’s sorry he left Derek on that planet.  But he didn’t mean too.  The Bureau betrayed them. So why is he still working for them?

Lark and Derek have loved each other secretly for years. When Lark spots Derek, he has his prison minions drag him off to Lark’s bedroom for lots of hot, angry, brutal sex (don’t get me started on a badass agent named Lark). Here comes the dubcon from the publisher’s note. And a training collar that zaps you. Always handy to have one around to use on sex slaves or have the slave use on you or whatever. There’s a leash too. It’s all very confusing. Never mind that the minions are close by and hate Lark’s guts, but let’s have lots of sex, and yelling and then the blubbering starts. OMG, that room had enough water in it to float a battleship. It’s sex, talk, cry, sex, talk, cry. Or crying and talking while having sex. And I’m thinking, aren’t you all supposed to get off the damn planet? What about your mission? You know the one no one seems to know anything about. Hello! Mission anyone?

In between pounding each other into the bed, they figure out that the Bureau had lied to them in a scene so priceless that it is a classic (“I yelled, I threw things.”  cries Lark talking about his confrontation with his Bureau boss). They throw on their clothes, grab the collar and head off to proceed with the mission. Nope, wait.   Let’s have more sex and talking and crying. Then you have the mission, some Flash Gordon stuff with the aircraft, and even more dialog that has me howling.  “Are you okay?” ask Derek of badly injured Lark(as he regains consciousness), who Derek has also just given pain pills to.   It’s just one endlessly funny bit after another.  And the ending? They check into a hotel, and the misunderstandings begin.  Where to take their relationship? At one point Derek tells  Lark, he wants to date, and make Lark smile. *head desk* What? No lock-n-load and off to get the traitor? No, just bring out the collar and have at it. Sigh.

And don’t get me started on the alien names of Lancarina, Lithusia, or my favorite Kraxnaftons.  I can’t even write those without giggling.  So, as a howler this book is a 5, as straight scifi, it’s a 2.8.  Read it for yourself and decide.  It’s not long.  Really, grab some popcorn, some friends, make a drinking game out of it.  You’ll thank me.  I’m off to watch some MST3K.  Oh, Cambot…..

Cover: Cover artist Reese Dante.  The cover is really pretty good.  It makes more sense than the book does.

Available from Silver Publishing, Amazon, and ARe.

Review of Blacker Than Black by Rhi Etzweiler

Reviewed for JoyfullyJay blog where I am a guest reviewer:

Rating: 4.5 stars

Black and Jhez are twin Nightwalkers, those who sell their chi or life force to the vampires that now rule the world.  Living in the shadows and tenements of the blue-light district of York, they thrive where other Nightwalkers soon wither and fall.  Their secret?  They steal the chi of their vampire clients even as they are selling theirs, a silent, stolen exchange of energy that has kept them alive for decades.

One unfortunate choice of a john changes everything for them.  Black picks Monsieur Garthelle as the john for the night, not recognizing the master vamp of the city.  What should have been a simple selling of Black’s chi (and the taking of a sliver of Garthelle’s energy) turns explosive, with Black running back to the streets, shaken beyond belief.  When Garthelle recovers, he tracks the twins down, confronts them and forces both to work for him as spies against other vampire families.  Facing not only the loss of their liberty and possibly their lives, they quickly discover nothing is what it seems to be, especially after a high placed vampire is murdered at Garthelle’s home.  Who are their enemies?  Who can be trusted?  What is the nature of the vampires obsession with them?

What a story.  I am going to say right off the bat, that this review is very frustrating to write.  I don’t want to give away any spoilers because who doesn’t love that “huh, didn’t see that coming” moment in stories they are reading?  And trust me, there are quite a few of those here.  The author plays with several themes here, fluidity and changeability run throughout the book.  Whether it is the changing nature of human society, the vampire families and their alliances, right down to the basic natures of human/vampire natures, all is constantly in flux.  The characters and the reader both can be certain of nothing as the story deepens.

The story unfolds from Black’s POV.  From the new world order to the skanky streets the twins live and work on, Black’s confusion is our confusion.  I like that the details of how the vampires came to rule are left deliberately vague.  The author has left our imaginations to fill in the gruesome blanks.  There are black holes of knowledge every where just waiting for the characters (or reader) to stumble and fall into in this story.  Just as the characters discover one alliance that may affect the balance of power, another event happens to undo all they have learned.   And that seesawing plays out so nicely as layer upon layer comes off and more of the plot is revealed.

I think the author has done a wonderful job of characterization here, not only with Black, but with Garthelle, Jhez, and Blue, a close friend of the twins.  Each different yet completely memorable.  What we learn of the new world everyone inhabits is gleaned through gritty realistic details of littered streets and grim despair of the human condition contrasted with the glossy buildings of obsidian black of the ruling vampires.

And speaking of vampires or the Lyche as they call themselves.   This is a different take on vampirism, combining elements of the traditional European vampires with that of the succubus/incubus type energy feeders to arrive at a vampire that seems old and fresh at the same time.  Familiar enough not to throw one off but with some new elements that make you sit up and take notice.  Very well done with vivid imagery that portrays the nature of chi exchange each character undergoes during a feeding.

That is not to say that there aren’t some slow parts where the narrative bogs down.  There are too many descriptions of Garthelle’s apartment building or rooms in his mansion, too much black.  I am going to assume that  this was intentional as the author is very careful in the construction of this story.  I was finding myself wondering how many times the author would find a way to insert the word black or blacker in terms of decor, apparel, or anything as a matter of fact.  I had black fatigue in some places.  But oh the pyrotechnics at the end.  They are wonderful.  A great way to end the journey of a thousand fun house mirrors.

And yes, I am still dying to tell you some spoilers.  But my lips are sealed and I am throwing away the key.

Cover:  Cover art by Del Melchionda. Love the cover.  It is lush and absolutely perfect in tone and graphics for the story. I even feel there is a hint here as well to one of the first twists in the story.  Great job.