Cover Reveal for Lying Eyes by Robert Winter (excerpt)

Title:  Lying Eyes

Author: Robert Winter

Publisher:  Robert Winter Books (self-published)

Release Date: July 7, 2017

Heat Level: 3 – Some Sex

Pairing: Male/Male

Length: 84300

Genre: Romance, Mystery, BDSM

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Synopsis

This bartender’s art lies in more than mixing drinks …

Randy Vaughan is a six-foot-three mass of mysteries to his customers and his friends. Why does a former Secret Service agent now own Mata Hari, a successful piano bar? Where did a muscle daddy get his passion for collecting fine art? If he’s as much a loner as his friends believe, why does he crave weekly sessions at an exclusive leather club?

Randy’s carefully private life unravels when Jack Fraser, a handsome art historian from England, walks into his bar, anxious to get his hands on a painting Randy owns. The desperation Randy glimpses in whiskey-colored eyes draws him in, as does the desire to submit that he senses beneath Jack’s elegant, driven exterior.

While wrestling with his attraction to Jack, Randy has to deal with a homeless teenager, a break-in at Mata Hari, and Jack’s relentless pursuit of the painting called Sunrise. It becomes clear someone’s lying to Randy. Unless he can figure out who and why, he may miss his chance at the love he’s dreamed about in the hidden places of his heart.

Note: Lying Eyes is a standalone gay romance novel with consensual bondage and a strong happy ending. It contains potential spoilers for Robert Winter’s prior novel, Every Breath You Take.

Excerpt

Saturday rolled around, and Randy headed to town early to make sure everything was ready for Mata Hari’s busiest evening of the week. Although the bar officially opened at five-thirty, it was rare for anyone to wander in much before seven o’clock. Randy was surprised when the front door opened at six to admit a good-looking man.

The stranger was probably about five foot nine or ten, and wore a three-piece suit that seemed tailored to accentuate a lean build. His dark hair was cut stylishly short on the sides but thick and swept back on the top, and his mustache and full beard were closely trimmed. A brightly colored necktie contrasted with the somber gray of his suit. Randy had trouble assessing the man’s age, but he would go with thirty. European, though—Randy would stake the bar on that guess.

The newcomer contemplated the walls of Mata Hari, passing almost dismissively over the art on display. He studied each piece for no more than a second before moving to the next, but Randy had a distinct impression the man sought something in particular. As he completed his survey, he kept turning and eventually met Randy’s eyes across the bar.

Immediately desire flared in the man’s face as his hungry gaze drifted over Randy’s tight white shirt and up to his face, lingering on his mouth. Shoulders tightened almost imperceptibly as he drew himself to his full height, yet Randy recognized a softening of hard edges. He lazily ran his own eyes to the stranger’s luxurious beard, and he imagined stroking the softness there. He sensed something accommodating. Something potentially submissive, yet more subtle than the wanton displays of obedience and posing he was used to on Mondays at his private club.

Something he would enjoy channeling and rewarding, in the right circumstance.

The man started toward the bar. As he moved, Randy had the odd sense that the suit he wore was ill-fitting, even though it seemed perfectly tailored. A step away from the bar, his face just—closed. That was the only word for it. One instant he was cruising Randy; the next he was stone.

Randy sighed to himself. The guy was probably a closet case on his first night at a gay bar. That usually meant an unsatisfying encounter, even if the newbie didn’t rabbit. In any case, it wasn’t Randy’s thing. He’d had plenty of virgin ass over the years, and preferred his men experienced.

Fine. Nothing for me here. He waited at the bar, vaguely disappointed.

“Sir, good evening.” The man’s accent was English, his words precise and elegant like his hair and his clothes and his beard. Probably from London. Up close, Randy could see his eyes were a deep shade of brown graced with streaks of gold around the pupils that caught the lights over the bar. “I’m looking for a Mr. Randall Vaughan.”

Despite forswearing his immediate attraction to the stranger, that honeyed voice caused Randy to smile slowly and show his teeth. He registered the slight widening of the eyes behind the stranger’s mask as he focused on Randy’s mouth.

“I’m Randy Vaughan. And you are…?”

The man blinked in surprise. “Oh. The Mr. Vaughan I was seeking is an art collector.”

Shit. Just another jerkwad, making assumptions right away. Randy was a big man so he couldn’t possibly be knowledgeable about art, could he? Well, fuck that noise. One more chance.

“I wouldn’t use the term collector, but…” Randy gestured at the walls.

“Quite so,” the man said distantly, and turned to sweep his gaze over the works on the nearest wall. “Neither would I.”

Randy’s back stiffened immediately. The stranger—no, the asshole—turned his attention back to Randy and held out a hand. He seemed oblivious to the fact that he’d just royally pissed Randy off. “My name is Jack Fraser. I’m from the Kensington Museum in London.” Fraser paused as if waiting for Randy to be impressed. “I sent you a letter recently.”

Randy willed himself not to think further about Fraser’s whiskey-colored eyes or the luxuriousness of his beard, and he didn’t take the offered hand. Instead, he wiped a small spill on the counter before him. “You did,” he agreed in a bored tone.

Fraser dropped his hand. “Ah, yes.” A pause. “My secretary didn’t hear from you to set up an appointment.”

“Which was my answer to your request,” Randy said, letting some snarl appear as he met Fraser’s eyes. They were still guarded and closed off, but Randy could see embers burning deep inside. In the right setting, and with proper motivation, he could imagine making those embers flare and ignite in the slender man before him. For the moment, though, the eyes just narrowed in calculation.

Before Fraser could say anything, Randy turned away. “If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

“May I buy a pint?” Fraser asked, desperation shading his smooth accent.

Randy considered calling Malcolm over to deal with it, but stopped in front of the beer taps. He was annoyed at his lingering attraction, and he decided to push back on this prick a bit. “Fine. What’s your pleasure?”

“Guinness. If you have it.”

“Of course you’d drink Guinness.” A little scorn curled Randy’s lip. “Well, the closest beer I have is a stout from Flying Dog.” He let his sneer turn feral. “It’s called Pearl Necklace.” He dropped his eyes to Fraser’s necktie, as if he could picture that very thing replacing the colorful silk.

Fraser blinked nervously. Probably he could picture it too. Maybe he even imagined Randy’s hot jizz splattering his chest and neck as his reward. Well, he shouldn’t have been a condescending shit out of the gate then. Randy waited, one hand on the tap, the other idly scratching his ear to make his bicep flex under his white shirt. Fraser focused on his arm and swallowed audibly.

“That’ll be fine,” he said. “A, uh, Flying Dog then.” Randy drew the pint to set before Fraser on a coaster. He didn’t wait for the man to take a sip or comment, but headed to the other end of the bar to check inventory.

He stayed busy but somehow noticed that Fraser lingered at the bar for several minutes, apparently hoping Randy would come back and let him ask again about the piece Randy had purchased from the Gates Gallery. When Randy deliberately kept his distance, Fraser took his beer (which, Randy was pleased to note, was more than half gone) and wandered around the room to examine more carefully each painting displayed. Sometimes he moved on quickly to the next piece of art. Other times, he gave a slight shake of his head.

Randy’s ears burned, and he considered throwing the guy out. Since he’d opened Mata Hari no one had given him grief about his collection. To be honest, no one had studied it the way Fraser did, but still. Each piece had been acquired because Randy connected to something in it. To have this handsome English stuffed shirt look down his nose offended Randy in a way he couldn’t even articulate. He seethed inside the longer Fraser spent on his dismissive tour of the room.

When Fraser reached a landscape that was hung over a small settee, he gave a distinct snort. He set his empty beer glass on a nearby table and Randy swooped over to pick it up, ostentatiously swiping the wood as if it had left a ring. “Another Pearl Necklace?” he snarled.

“Ah, no. Thank you.” Fraser seemed surprised to find Randy standing so close, though his eyes remained closed off and stony. “But it was a quite nice stout after all. Thank you for the recommendation.”

Randy gestured at the landscape with his chin. “Is that painting offensive to you for some reason? You’re practically laughing at it.”

“What? Oh no, it’s…fine. Competent. It’s the presentation, the arrangement of the art, that I find amusing.”

Randy ran his gaze over the pieces arranged on that wall of the bar. He’d decided where to hang each and every work over a long stretch of time as he’d readied Mata Hari for opening. He revisited the collection frequently and rotated different pieces in and out of prominent positions. Most of his customers were oblivious but Randy took great satisfaction in presenting something unique in the atmosphere of his bar.

“What’s amusing about it?”

“Well, there’s no story, is there?” Fraser answered him.

“What do you mean?”

“Individually each piece is presentable. A few are even intriguing. But see here,” he gestured at the landscape, “this is a nicely executed pastoral, yet it’s positioned between a Japanese scroll and a watercolor of a monarch butterfly. The pieces say nothing about each other, and have no intrinsic relationship.

“But over there,” he indicated the wall opposite, “is a modern landscape. Change the frames to something complementary, place them side by side, and the two landscapes together suggest a conversation in, oh, quite a lot actually. Painting techniques, the subject and tonal changes in works separated by two artistic traditions. You see?”

Randy did see, but he’d be damned if he’d admit it. “Two landscapes here wouldn’t fit,” he said stubbornly.

“Ah. Art as furniture. Of course,” Fraser said with a smirk, and that did it.

“No charge for the Pearl Necklace,” Randy barked. “Since you made the trip for nothing.”

 

Meet the Author

Robert Winter lives and writes in Provincetown. He is a recovering lawyer who prefers writing about hot men in love much more than drafting a legal brief. He left behind the (allegedly) glamorous world of an international law firm to sit in his home office and dream up ways to torment his characters until they realize they are perfect for each other.

When he isn’t writing, Robert likes to cook Indian food and explore new restaurants. He splits his attention between Andy, his partner of sixteen years, and Ling the Adventure Cat, who likes to fly in airplanes and explore the backyard jungle as long as the temperature and humidity are just right.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | eMail

 

 

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Blog Tour for Different Dynamics by Tamir Drake (exclusive excerpt and giveaway)

Title:  Different Dynamics

Author: Tamir Drake

Publisher:  NineStar Press

Release Date: June 26

Heat Level: 4 – Lots of Sex

Pairing: Male/Male Menage

Length: 19300

Genre: Contemporary, paranormal, erotica, ABO, sports, hockey, MMM, knotting, hurt/comfort, dirty talk

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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to host Tamir Drake today on the Different Dynamics tour.  Check out the exclusive excerpt before entering the giveaway! Enjoy!

Synopsis

Richard doesn’t mind being an omega; all he cares about is playing good hockey, even though it means ignoring the media that tries to rip him apart for it. They don’t think omegas should be allowed on the ice, but he gets along fine. He’s team captain. He can play with the best of them.

The one sticking point is his heats; Richard might be on suppressants, but he’s one of the unlucky ones who still gets a heat every four months or so. They suck to deal with, especially alone, but seeking out a heat partner isn’t an option. The PR nightmare alone keeps him from any kind of hook-up. He can’t risk it. Hockey is all he’s got.

When Richard’s heat comes early while his team is on a roadie, teammate and best friend James helps him out of a bad situation. Tired of hurting, Richard decides it’s better not to go it alone. And James is safe and warm; he’s a great alpha who knows just what Richard needs. When Richard also imprints on big, bad rival player, Dmitry Sokolov? There’s sweet comfort in a three-way with lots of knotting and dirty talk.

Richard might be on cloud nine.

Exclusive Excerpt

Different Dynamics
Tamir Drake © 2017
All Rights Reserved

Richard got home, dropped his bags, and said hello to his cat Marshmallow. After checking her puzzle feeder and changing the water in her drinking fountain, he went into the bedroom to collapse. He spared a thought to how he should be eating, or at least hydrating, but all he wanted to do was curl up in bed. There was another game tomorrow, and he needed to steel himself for it, to get to practice and be able to play. Once again, he’d have to prepare to hide all of himself, so he could do what he loved. Hockey was all he had.

It was this thought that finally got him out of bed. He needed to concentrate on hockey—more than that—on being a good captain. That meant pushing through his heat. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it; he usually had at least two heats during the season, even with the fairly regular onsets the implant gave him. Hiding himself meant downing painkillers and libido inhibitors, dousing his clothes in odor-blocker, keeping a constant supply of pads on hand, and playing through the discomfort. He’d gotten good at ignoring the battle of scents on the ice, the distraction of the other players. It was just hockey; as long as he kept his head in the game, it would be good enough.

He dragged himself to the kitchen and pulled a ready meal out of the freezer, not up to trying to cook or calling in. He did his best to drain a bottle of juice while he waited for his food to warm up, hunched over the kitchen island. His mouth felt so dry no matter how much he drank—another side effect of the inhibitors—and his head was pounding.

The microwave beeped and Richard took his food into the living room. Curling up on the couch to eat it, he smiled feebly at Marshmallow when she jumped up next to him. She’d always been able to tell when he was hurting, and her warmth was a small comfort.

His phone rang after a few mouthfuls, flashing James’s face on the screen.

“’Lo?”

“Hey, Packer,” James said easily. “How are you doing?”

“Uh. Fine?” Richard shifted on the couch. “Just, you know, trying to settle back in and shit.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Richard said, a little testily. He really didn’t feel well. “I just told you.”

“Can I come by?”

Richard didn’t exactly want company right now, but it was James. “I guess so. Why?”

“Because you went into heat yesterday, and I’m worried about you, fucker. What even happened, by the way? Did your implant malfunction or something? Are you getting it checked out?”

“Uh…”

“What?”

All in. “I might, uh, get heats regularly.”

“Richard!” Richard winced and pulled the phone away from his ear as James continued, “The fuck? Are you shitting me? You get heats on the regular, and you never thought to tell any of us?”

“What would it have mattered if I did?” Richard snapped, glad he was having this conversation over the phone and not in person. “The media can’t know; they already try to rip me apart because I’m an omega. If they thought I didn’t have a lid on my heats, it’d be a PR nightmare.”

“We’re not the media, you shithead. We’re your team. You think any of us would have blabbed your secret? You think we wouldn’t immediately crush anyone who tried?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

There was a lot of inarticulate growling, and then James sighed.

“Okay.” James sounded tired. “If you say it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. Still think you should tell the boys, but that’s your choice. Are—are you gonna be playing in the game?”

“’Course.”

“Right.” Richard could picture James rubbing a hand over his face. “Well? Can I come by? Do you want my help?”

It dawned on Richard that James was checking up on him. That he was offering to help with the heat again. “What, really?”

“Oh my god you little—yes. How long do yours usually last?”

“Um, like a week.”

“Okay. I’ll pack a bag and be over in a few.”

Richard stared at his phone.

“Richard?”

“You want to what?”

There was a pause. “Or I could…not,” James said eventually. “If you don’t want me to?”

“No! No, I…I’m just, uh, surprised.”

“You can’t honestly tell me you’ve never had someone take you through a heat before, Packer.”

Richard was silent.

“Oh my fucking god I will be there in half an hour.”

James hung up.

Richard stared at his phone again and wondered what had just happened.

Purchase

NineStar Press | Amazon | Smashwords | Barnes & Noble | Kobo

Meet the Author

Tamir has the tendency to write feelings into everything, no matter how filthy. He’s not all that sorry about it. Visit him on his Website.

Tour Schedule

6/26    Book Lovers 4Ever

6/27    Boy Meets Boy Reviews

6/27    Love Bytes Reviews 

6/28    Divine Magazine

6/28    Making it Happen

6/28    Liz’s Reading Life

6/29    Erotica For All

6/29    Happily Ever Chapter

6/29    Reviews for Book Lovers

6/30    Bonkers About Books

6/30    Hoards Jumble 

6/30    Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

 

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In the Spotlight: Jordan’s Pryde (Pryde Shifter #1) by Giovanna Reaves (excerpt and giveaway)

Title:  Jordan’s Pryde

Series: Pryde Shifter Series Book 1

Author: Giovanna Reaves

Publisher: Independent

Release Date: June 30th 2017

Heat Level: 3 – Some Sex

Pairing: Male/Male

Length: 83K

Genre: Romance, Science Fiction, Mpreg, Paranormal Romance

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Synopsis

All he did was apply for a job and then his world was turned upside down.

Thrust into the world he had no idea about, Jordan Sutton’s only goal was to get a job working for Duncan Pryde of Pryde Industries. He thought werewolves, vampires, and faes belonged in fairy tales, not in the real world. What will he do when he finds out that there’s more than meets the eye to his boss and his family?

Duncan Pryde had too much going on in his life. He became the sole guardian of his twin niece and nephew along with the addition of his pack and company. He had no time to think about a mate when trouble came to his front door. What happens when the man he hired for one job turns out to be his destined mate? Does he deny what he feels or embrace it?

 

Excerpt

Chapter One

Jordan 

Jordan pulled up to the address he was directed to by his GPS. His mouth fell open in complete shock at the mansion looking back at him. He was applying for a position to work for the CEO of Pryde Industries. The handsome and jaw-dropping Duncan Pryde. The position was as his personal assistant. Unless people had been living under a rock, everyone knew exactly who Duncan Pryde was. A self-made billionaire who had his fingers in everything from computer software to fashion design.  The man was intelligent, wealthy, and drop-dead gorgeous and didn’t look a day over forty. Simply put, everything Jordan could want in a man. But with one snag—the man was completely straight according to all the magazines he’d read.

When he heard there was a position opening up at Pryde Industries and it would be working for the CEO, Jordan researched everything he could about Duncan Pryde. One thing was evident, Pryde was never without some slim, beautiful female model or actress hanging off his arm. Other than his attraction, Jordan admired Duncan Pryde from afar, since he started tracking his success.

It was only by chance Jordan found out about the job opening and jumped at the opportunity. He admitted to himself that he had a selfish reason for wanting to work for Pryde Industries. It was the opening Jordan needed to get his foot in the door in the business world. Even if he was starting out as a personal assistant. Jordan would be foolish to pass up the chance. Being rich was not his primary goal, success and recognition for what he could do were what he was after. Call him ambitious, but Jordan learned a long time ago that success didn’t come easily. You have to step over a few people to get where you want to be in life.  He practically bit his nails down to the knuckle the day he sent off his résumé.  It was not a job at the corner store, but working for a CEO with a major Fortune 500 company.

The minute Jordan got the call for the interview, he did a more in-depth research on Duncan Pryde, that was available on Duncan, and his businesses. There was not a lot. He could find little on Duncan’s personal life, but there was more than enough information on Pryde Industries. It frustrated Jordan, to the point of obsession, that he could not learn more about the man he wanted to work for. The only personal information he could find was that a tragedy had occurred in his life six months earlier.

He had turned the running of the business over to the hands of his vice president until he was able to return. No matter how much he searched, Jordan was not able to find out what had happened. Duncan Pryde had also withdrawn from public life.  No one seemed to know what happened. Wild speculations swirled around that he had been severely injured in a car accident and his company was covering it up. Some reported that he was bound to a wheelchair and would never walk again.

Taking a deep breath, Jordan looked at the file sitting in the passenger seat next to him. It was his résumé and work experience. There wasn’t a lot to go on, but Jordan had glowing letters of recommendation from previous employers along with those of volunteering administrators. He was ready, and he was pretty confident that the job belonged to him and no one else.

No need to keep sitting here, the job’s not going to come to me this way. Jordan nervously got out of the car closing the door.

Checking his suit to make sure that everything was pristine, he smoothed out invisible wrinkles and lint while praying to the gods that he wouldn’t come off as an idiot in his interview.  He wanted to make a good impression the first time meeting Mr. Pryde, who was conducting the interview himself. Jordan squared his shoulders, and looked at the large white painted mansion with black window trim in front of him. The lawn was well manicured with shrubbery and trees on both sides of the walkway leading up to the door.

What he could not understand was why the interview was at a mansion and not at the head office located downtown. Jordan shrugged his shoulders, again. As long as Jordan got the job he did not care where the interview was held. Wealthy and influential people had their quirks, it wasn’t for him to judge. Determined that he was ready to meet the man he was hoping to work for, Jordan walked to the red painted front door and cleared his throat, he raised his hand, ready to knock on the door when it was flung open for him. A ragged-looking woman burst through the door.

“I don’t care how much you pay me; I will not take care of those hellions!” she yelled, walking or rather running down the driveway and got in the car parked next to his, speeding off like a bat out of hell.

Well, that’s interesting.

Jordan quickly stepped to the side holding his folder to his chest, not sure if someone or something else was going to come flying out of the house and hit him. His heart was pounding in his chest. Instead of feeling nervous he was starting to get scared out of his fucking mind. The little voice in the back of his head told him to cut his losses and get his ass back in his car and go home, and let someone else be terrorized by Duncan Pryde. He ignored the voice and waited a few minutes before he decided that nothing else was going to come flying in his direction. Peeking his head through the door, not seeing anyone, Jordan stepped forward and walked in the foyer looking around for someone to ask for directions. The place was just as large on the inside as it was on the outside.

Shouldn’t there be a maid or a butler to answer the door? Jordan heard voices coming from down the hall and followed it. His previous apprehension went away as his curiosity took over.

“You guys, know that I have meetings to attend, I might not go into the office, but I cannot stay with you pups all day long.”

“We know, Uncle Duncan,” a cute, tiny little voice said.

“But she was so mean,” another small voice added.

“She promised if we behaved she would let us have ice cream,” they chimed in together.

Kids, nothing I read said that Duncan Pryde had kids.

“And we were especially good,” one of the kids said.

From the tone, Jordan assumed it was a little boy. He stood outside the door listening shamelessly to their conversation. He found it adorable how the kids finished each other’s sentences.

“Be that as it may, you were both wrong for putting mud in her shoes and lizards in her pockets.” Duncan Pryde’s voice sounded quiet but stern, not frightening considering the conversation with the kids.

“We’re sorry,” they chorused together.

“What am I going to do with you both?” Duncan Pryde asked.

“Please, don’t be mad at us, Uncle Duncan,” one of the tiny little voices said. To Jordan, it sounded like a little girl. The pleading and the sniffle at the end broke Jordan’s heart, he was so tempted to go into the room and comfort the little one himself and call Duncan Pryde out for being mean to his kids.

“I’m not angry. But, guys, I need to be able to go back to work.”  The room was quiet for a few seconds before Duncan Pryde spoke again. “Promise me you will give the other nanny a chance.”

“We promise, Uncle Duncan,” they said together.

“Okay, now let’s hug it out.”

Jordan heard an oof sound and then peals of laughter. He stood in the hall a bit longer letting the small family enjoy their time together before he interrupted. Pulling himself off the wall, he walked the short few steps and stood at the entrance to the room and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Duncan Pryde’s voice echoed strongly from the other side of the door.

Jordan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before opening the door and stepping over the threshold and stopped, he had to hold back the gasp that threatened to escape. Magazines and television did not do Duncan Pryde justice because standing in front of Jordan was one of the sexiest men he’d ever laid eyes on.

Nope, Duncan Pryde is not wheelchair bound, he doesn’t even look as if he has a scratch on his perfect muscled body.

The only disappointment, in Jordan’s opinion, was the confused expression on the man’s handsome face. Duncan Pryde stood about six feet four inches. Wide muscled shoulders and arms that looked like they could bench press the two kids in one hand and him in the other without breaking a sweat.

“Who are you?” Duncan Pryde demanded and stepped in front of the kids, shielding them from Jordan’s view. To Jordan, it had sounded as if he growled his words rather than spoke them.

“Y…your front door was open, and I heard voices so I…” Jordan stuttered through his response.

“You didn’t answer my question, who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house?” he demanded again, placing the children entirely behind him.

Jordan was about to walk further into the room, but paused at the man’s deep voice and hoped he did not let on just how much Duncan Pryde’s very presence was affecting him in a few short seconds. With his pale complexion, he was probably blushing from the tips of his ears to his toes.

Fuck, the man’s tall.

Jordan took a deep breath, finally he was able to string a few sentences together. “I’m sorry, my name is Jordan Sutton. I was told to meet you here for an interview.”

Duncan Pryde stared at Jordan as if he’d lost his head. His blue eyes widened as if he just remembered their meeting.

“Oh shit,” he said, and the kids gasped.

“Uncle Duncan, you said a bad word,” the little girl said looking up at her uncle.

“Now you gotta put money in the bad word jar,” the little boy added to the conversation.

The kids are adorable.

“You’re right, guys,” Duncan Pryde said, he still had his eyes trained on Jordan, but his tone was gentle when he spoke to the kids. “I’m sorry, I completely forgot, things got a bit out of control this morning,” he apologized to Jordan.

“That’s okay,” Jordan assured him with a shrug of his shoulders.

Jordan watched as Duncan turned and kneeled in front of the kids who looked so much like him. The twins had the same dark brown hair with sprinkles of silver highlights. His curiosity was piqued, wondering if it was a family trait kind of thing.

“Okay, my little pups, here is what I need you to do for me.” The twins nodded, looking up at him. “I need to meet with Mr….” He turned and looked at Jordan.

“Sutton,” Jordan answered for him.

The twins were staring at him, and Jordan knew why. He always got the same look everywhere he went. It used to bother him when he was a kid growing up, but he wasn’t bothered by it anymore. There had to be other people in the world with white hair and red eyes. Many thought he dyed his hair and wore contacts simply to freak them out or was being rebellious and balked when he told them that he was born this way.

“Thank you,” he said to Jordan then looked back at the twins. “I need to speak with Mr. Sutton for a few minutes. I need you both to go to your rooms and play with your toys. I promise I won’t be that long.  Afterward, we can do anything you guys want to do.” Their heads bobbed at the same time nodding, before hugging their uncle then walked out of the room, whispering to each other and looking back at him. Jordan smiled and waved.

“Did you see his eyes?” the little boy asked.

“Yeah, and his hair,” the little girl said. “I want my hair like his.”

Duncan got up from his position and looked at Jordan. “I say we have a good twenty minutes before they get bored, and I will have to think of something to bribe them with,” Duncan told Jordan with a smile.

“In that case, how about we cut to the chase, then,” Jordan said. “And I just lay out why I’m the perfect candidate for the job as your assistant, you hire me, and I can start working immediately.”

“Bossy, demanding, and confident, I like that. But, let’s go through with the formalities and see how you do.”

Jordan tried not to smile, but the sudden change in Duncan Pryde’s demeanor put him completely at ease.

Duncan walked over to his desk and sat down. He looked over to the young man standing in front of him. He was properly dressed, which impressed him. He only hoped he continued to impress him during their short interview. He wasn’t kidding when he told Mr. Sutton that they had twenty minutes, Maddison and Benjamin were a handful. Duncan could not believe the morning he’d had, and it wasn’t even noon. He’d planned on going into the office, but had to shift his schedule around by doing the interview at his home. Because the twins begged him to stay home with them, and he gave in with the promise they would behave for Charlotte. That didn’t work out so well since they decided to terrorize Charlotte, who was nanny number, hell if he knew, he went through them quicker than it took him to blink an eye. At times the twins reminded him more of him and Mari than he would like to acknowledge.

“Have a seat,” he instructed.  “I assume that you have a résumé in that folder you’re clutching tightly to your chest?”

Duncan extended his hand, waiting for the young man to give him the folder. After sitting down, the young man gave the folder to him. Duncan got comfortable as he flipped it open and began reading through Sutton’s qualifications. An indescribable sweet scent wafted under his nose, but Duncan ignored it. As a lykosian, or a werewolf, he was sensitive to certain smells.

Duncan felt his skin prickle, and the scent got stronger. Pulling on his restraints, he ignored the way his body was reacting and concentrated on the reason the young man was there in the first place. Even in the height of protecting the twins Duncan couldn’t help but stare the first moment he saw the young man standing in front of him. He was entranced by his glistening ruby jeweled eyes and his silver white hair. If the kids’ fingernails were not digging into his skin, Duncan would have surely forgotten they were in the room.

Not many humans that he’d seen were born with such exotic appearances, it made Duncan wonder if he was something other than human. If he weren’t sure that there was a male standing in front of him, Duncan would have mistaken Jordan for a woman with his delicate features. Duncan tried to distract his wandering thoughts by looking through the file in his hands. He already read a few things he liked. Duncan was a very busy man and needed someone who could keep up with him. He was organized and by his references he seemed to be more than qualified for the position as his personal assistant.

This was the part Duncan hated, he’d gone through six assistants in the past year.  All women and all under the illusion that he would fall in love with them. There were three lykosian females from his pack that tried to trap him into mating with them. They were immediately fired from the company and banished from the pack. There were consequences for such actions. Trying to manipulate a member of the pack into a mating when they were not mates would result in the member being banished from the pack for ten years. Duncan hated doing it, but he had no other choice.

Duncan was the pack leader of one of the largest lykosian packs of Cypress Prince Island. Cypress Prince was much more than an island; it was a bustling city filled with all walks of life. Duncan looked up from the file in his hands and stared at Jordan for a few seconds assessing him before a thought popped into his head. He was in need of an assistant and a new nanny, why not interview for both positions and see which candidate would fit perfectly for either position.

“Tell me, Mr. Sutton, why do you want to be my personal assistant?”

Duncan watched as a worried expression crossed over Jordan’s face before he answered. “Do you want me to be honest or give you the placated version that would make sure you hire me on the spot?”

Duncan chuckled, he liked the kid. He was also glad that the timidness he saw a few seconds earlier was no longer in his posture. “If you do get the job, what you need to know about me is that above all things, I value honesty from my employees.”

“I really need a job,” Jordan started. “I’m pretty close to moving back in with my parents and my little baby parked in your exquisite driveway is being held together by luck, hope, and Gods know a lot of prayers.” Jordan finished with a sigh. Duncan could tell he was trying not to sound desperate about needing a job, but he did ask the man for honesty. “I’m also inexperienced in the sense that I have never worked in the world of business, but I have admired you and your drive to succeed. I feel working for your company, or you specifically, will help me achieve my goals.”

He smelled the honesty coming from the young man. “Are you trying to butter me up, Mr. Sutton?” Duncan asked raising an eyebrow.

“Only if it’s working,” Jordan countered back with a smile that had Duncan thinking thoughts he really shouldn’t about the applicant.

Duncan chuckled at their natural banter, it had been a while since he smiled so much in an interview. He spent a few more minutes asking Jordan questions. Duncan liked what he was hearing from the young man with each answer he gave to the questions posed. He had a few more applicants to interview by the end of the week, but he was positive that Jordan would be a value to his company. Twenty minutes on the dot Duncan’s keen hearing heard the pitter patter of little feet heading in their direction. He stood to his feet as did Jordan. Duncan extended his hand wrapping up their meeting. He would have loved to sit and speak with the young man a few minutes more but knew that wasn’t possible. Not with the twins seconds away from his office door.

“I will have someone contact you by the end of the week to let you know if you have the job.”

Jordan shook his hand as they walked to the door. “Thank you for taking the time to see me.” A spark of electricity ran down his spine, but again Duncan ignored it. Maybe he would examine what was going on later if he was still bothered by it.

When he opened the door, the twins were standing at the entrance with an innocent expression on their tiny faces that Duncan did not believe for a second. The twins were so much like he and his twin sister, Mari, were when they were their age. A sad feeling settled in the bottom of his stomach.

“Are you ready now, Uncle Duncan?” they asked together.

“Yes,” he answered. “Let me walk Mr. Sutton to the door and I’m all yours for the rest of the day.”

They nodded and followed behind him and Jordan. Duncan opened the door for the young man. He watched as the younger man walked to his car, or what resembled a car. The kid wasn’t lying; Duncan was not sure how much longer that car was going to last. Once the kid drove off, Duncan turned around and focused his attention to the twins who were starting to get that impatient look on their faces.

“Okay, my little munchkins, I canceled all my other appointments to spend the day with you. So, what will it be?” he asked them. They smiled, and he knew exactly what he would be spending the rest of the day doing, and there was no way he could get out of it.

Later that week, Duncan was found slouched on the sofa, a drink in his hand and three applicants’ files sitting in his lap. He’d spent the rest of the week taking care of the twins and truth be told he was exhausted. Duncan needed someone quickly. He loved having and taking care of Maddison and Benjamin, but he had a pack and a company to run, he never thought he’d miss getting up and going to work so badly. Six months earlier, when he told his sister, Mari, that he would watch the kids while she and her husband, Ben, went on their second honeymoon, Duncan did not expect that it would be for the rest of his life. The private jet that Mari and Ben were on crashed on their way back from Paris. Duncan was devastated and had no idea what he was going to do. He had to bury his sister and his brother-in-law.

He had a hard time trying to explain to his five-year-old niece and nephew that their mom and dad would never be coming home again. Duncan had to change his life drastically to accommodate the twins. He’d gone from a doting uncle who saw them when he missed them, to a father figure in the span of months. He’d also gone through about the same number of nannies as he had personal assistants in the past few months. Duncan was a perfectionist and wanted things done his way. Mari used to tease him that he needed to loosen up a bit and give people a chance to make mistakes.

Mari and Duncan were twins, but the public had no knowledge of her existence. As wealthy and well-known as he was, Duncan respected Mari’s wish to keep her away from the public. So not to be recognized as his twin in public, Mari dyed her hair and grew it out to the middle of her back. It was her choice to live a modest life and taught at the school that Duncan had built when he took over as Alpha of his pack.  The same way he protected Mari he did with his pack, keeping their existence a secret.

It had not been easy, but Duncan felt it was better to hide in plain sight.  The employees that worked in his company were both pack members and humans who had no idea that they were working with lykosians. Duncan thought about hiring other creatures, but since the great war, each sect had lived separate lives. The thought of intermingling was considered blasphemous. He was not under the naïve impression that his pack was the only living among them. There were a few other shifter clan leaders that Duncan had known since childhood whom he had relied on over the years. There were even sanguine, or vampire, covens on the other side of the island.

The world was filled with many other sects. Many believed that lykosians were the first beasts formed. It was written that the gods—that once roamed the earth—wanted more than human worshipers and decided to create beasts and creatures who would not only protect their providence but be their warriors. The mistress of the moon, created the lykosians. In the beginning many beasts mated with humans before realizing they could also mate with their own kind. Lykosians and other shifted sects were given unmanageable strength and the ability to change from man to beast. Other sects were also given special abilities, some known and some not. The nyxian sect was known for their beauty and mysterious abilities. The elfkins, or elves, who were just as mysterious as the nyxians, were close in relation with their appearance. Both sects were created by the gods of the sun and given abilities to defend themselves.

There were many other sects that had hidden their people away and had remained a secret even to him. One sect Duncan was sure they had died out centuries ago, were the draconem. They were hunted and killed for their blood and heart. Men and beasts were attracted to the idea of a long life. By eating the heart of a draconem a person could live up to one hundred years plus. It was also written that draconems were quite powerful and possess magic liken to that of witches and warlocks, it was how they controlled their fire that dwelled deep inside of them while in their human form.

Duncan had always wondered how a sect as powerful as the draconems could have failed to protect themselves and died out. Some died during and after the war.  After the great war, a treaty was signed by the leaders of each sect. No matter how much he researched, Duncan could not find the reason why or who started the war in the first place. The only thing that was apparent was that many died senselessly. In the end, each sect decided it was better that they all lived their lives and didn’t intermingle. Duncan and a few other lykosian alphas had worked together to keep the peace with other packs and shifter clans across the globe.

As with humans, there was always a bad apple in with a bunch of perfectly good ones.  Duncan would never deny how competitive he was and the lengths he’d gone through to ensure his pack’s safety. One of his primary goals was to make sure that his members would have the best life possible. He was quite young when he took the pack over after challenging—and killing—his uncle for leadership. Duncan hated the way his uncle used and abused his power as Alpha of the pack. Women were being used for his sole pleasure, couples were not allowed to mate until the Alpha had his way with the females first. Some tried to run away but were caught before they could leave the island.

Some were killed in front of the rest of the pack as an embellished way to keep the members in line. On the full moon, the pack was not allowed to shift and run together. According to his uncle, that pleasure belonged to him alone. Duncan’s uncle told the pack that the previous Alpha was weak, which was why he was easily defeated by their enemies. He put more fear in the pack members telling them the goddess of the moon saw fit to bless him with her strength and considered the members weak and needed him to guide them.

Duncan was a child when his father, Thorin, was killed. He was not aware the role his uncle, Bradley, played in Thorin’s death. There were two things his uncle wanted: Galicia, who was Duncan’s mother, and the pack. Duncan couldn’t believe his uncle held such jealousy in his heart to kill his own brother. No one spoke of how his father died. It was forbidden, punishable by death to even mention his name. After Thorin’s death, Bradley approached Galicia and offered to be her mate, but Galicia turned him down. Bradley became furious and punished the pack instead.

When he got older and found out what happened to his father, and that his uncle was the one that killed him, Duncan acted by challenging his uncle. He was only eighteen when he took over the pack.  Galicia who was still depressed because of her mate’s death moved to Virginia to live with her sister. She was too heartbroken at the loss of his father to stay in the pack. His mom looked happy when he saw her a few months before Mari died. Duncan and Mari were ecstatic when she announced that she had opened her heart again to the possibility of love and finding a new mate. Her mate was gone, but there was nothing wrong with having someone to love again in her life.

After taking over the pack, Duncan was ridiculed by the same pack members he saved from his uncle’s tyrannical rule. That was so long ago, but at times it still felt as if it were yesterday. It took him quite a while to gain the trust of his pack members. Duncan was one hundred and fifty years old but looked like a man in his late thirties. After taking over the pack, he appointed his best friend, Ryland Burnett, as his Beta. Ryland’s father was also killed by his uncle for being an opposition to his uncle’s tyranny and for the color of his skin. He and his mother were allowed to remain in the pack because she was the right color and his uncle was not afraid of a weak-minded woman.

Duncan also named Ryland’s three cousins, Parker, Charlie, and Sebastian, as his enforcers of the pack. They had been more than just his Beta and enforcers; they had become his family. Duncan worked hard on building up his pack and changing their image. He attended community college and studied business and finance. He used his smarts and invested money into the pack and ultimately his company.

Before Duncan took over, the women in the pack were not even allowed to better themselves, such as attending school. The men were considered the authority apart from the Alpha. Little things were seen as punishable offenses, such as associating with humans. Duncan had done a lot to change the image of his pack. He felt the more the pack stayed hidden, the easier it would be for them to be found out.  They had a target on their backs, no matter if they stayed hidden or not. Duncan wanted his pack to live in the light instead of staying hidden.

There are other organizations like the Blackburn hunters who would stop at nothing to try and eradicate his pack and others like him. However, they are not as organized or well-funded as the Blackburn Organization. Duncan felt hiding would bring more suspicion. Living in the spotlight also has its disadvantages, one would be his appearance. Duncan reinvented his image so that it would not draw too much attention or questions from reporters. Duncan had lived a long time, and if others looked close enough, there would be questions as to why he hadn’t aged in his early thirties and how he was able to keep his youthful appearance.

To the humans of this world, he was Duncan Pryde, the fourth who took over his father’s company after the man died. No one seemed to question why he looked almost the same as his father. The easy answer was the strong genetics that ran in their family. The Pryde pack had come a long way. He had to work hard to get over the emotional scar that continued to hang over the pack. Duncan prided himself, knowing that his pack was more accepting than others. A few years after he took over, the pack started to grow. Members were finding their mates and having pups. Duncan prided himself on being an open-minded Alpha and allowed his members to voice their likes and dislikes with respect. He practically bought the entire island of Cypress, so that his pack could expand and his members could live in peace.

Coming back to the present, Duncan looked down at the files resting on his lap.  He needed someone he could trust to take care of the twins when he had to travel out of town or when he had to work late at the office. Duncan knew he had to be selective. It would be easier to choose one of the female lykosians from his pack. But in the past, he realized they were using the pups to get close to him. Being the mate of the Alpha came with a lot of privilege. The pups they would have would be powerful, and the next to become the Alpha of the pack, no matter the gender. Duncan was not above naming a female as the Alpha of his pack. Strength came from how an Alpha cared for the members of its pack and not how well they could thrash his or her opponent in a match.

As old as he was, Duncan was not ready to settle down with a mate; which was why he was not looking or pining for one. Duncan was aware of his obligation to provide Alpha pups for the pack. As crazy as it might sound to others, he wanted to be in love and not be forced to sleep with a female lykosian because of the needs of the pack. Love mattered to him. He wanted what Mari and Ben had. He saw and felt the love between them, and at times it made him jealous. But he was also happy for them.

Duncan sighed as he flipped through the file of Jordan Sutton and Samantha Jones. Both candidates answered his questions truthfully, he did not smell any deceit coming from them. Also, their references checked out, as well as their background check came back clean. Decision made, Duncan made specific notes on each folder as to who was hired for what position. The next morning, he would send the documents off to his human resources department and have someone contact both applicants, informing them they got the job.

Copyright © 2017 by Giovanna Reaves

Available to Purchase on Amazon

Meet the Author

 

Giovanna (Gia) Reaves is my alter ego, who is a dreamer. I spend my days and nights dreaming and thinking of the worlds I want to create with words. I started writing about three years ago, when I was introduced to the world of fan fiction. I loved the idea of creating a new world around characters that people already knew about. And ones that are original of my own making. I have written two novels and a few free stories.

I am a mother, wife, and a military veteran. I enjoy trying new things such as traveling, cooking, and reading. I try to incorporate some of the things I have experienced into my books.

Currently living in Newport, RI with my two favorite men. If I am not hidden in my cave writing, I love to read and spend time with my hubby and son. I love listening to R and B along with neo soul when I am writing. When I’m not writing, I am trying to perfect my baking and decorating skills or try to pick up something new. I love spending time with my husband and son playing video games and traveling.

 

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The First ten likes on my page Author Giovanna Reaves Facebook page gets a five dollar Amazon gift card.

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Sean Michael on Characters, Writing and his release “A New Way To Dance by Sean Michael” (guest blog, excerpt and giveaway)

A New Way to Dance by Sean Michael

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Release Date: June 20, 2017
Heat Level: 4 – Lots of Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 65,000 Words | 262 Pages
Genre: Contemporary Gay Romance, M/M Romance, BDSM
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Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to host Sean Michael here today. Welcome, Sean!

♦︎

Thank you to Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words for hosting me today!

The first character that came to me to ask for his story told for A New Way to Dance was Seth, the dancer. And I know exactly where he came from. I had seen a number of images of dancers, and several videos of male dancers doing their thing.

These guys are in such good shape – not an ounce of fat anywhere, muscles shown off to best advantage in skin tight leotards. Muscles that are being pushed as far as they can. On top of that, they’re interpreting the music, putting so much emotion into each move. It is a wonderful combination.

Every time I saw a picture or a video, the knowledge that I was going to have a character who was a dancer became deeper. Then suddenly there was Seth with this sad story of his nasty breakup and as soon as I had that, Brook came running to claim Seth as his own.

I hope you enjoy their story!

Sean

smut fixes everything

Excerpt:

“You’re sure I can’t get you anything to eat?”

“I haven’t exercised enough to. You won’t offend me if you eat, though. Honestly.”

“I’m not hungry yet—I had that cheesecake.” Brook tilted his head. “So how many calories a day do you eat?”

“I try to keep it under twelve hundred.” Not that it was any of Brook’s business. He averaged a thousand on days he didn’t exercise.

Brook looked at him like he was crazy. “You must be skin and bones.”

He wasn’t huge, he guessed. He answered with a long, steady look that was meant to tell Brook to back the fuck off.

Brook shook his head like he’d just got it. “Okay. Movie. What are you in the mood for?”

“What’s your favorite?” He felt a little embarrassed, a little silly for being here. It had been obvious that Brook had been interested when they’d met previously, but now… Seth was awkward.

“Oh, I could never just pick one.” Brook laughed. “Maybe if you picked a genre…”

“How about something campy and fun?”

“We could do the grandfather of campy and fun—Rocky Horror?”

“It’s just a jump to the left?”

They sang the next few verses together, Seth surprising himself with his laughter.

Brook pointed to the couch and he moved there while Brook found the movie and put it in the player. Then the man joined him.

He sipped his drink, shifting as he tried to find a comfortable spot.

Brook offered him a couple of pillows and he managed to get them adjusted to where he was mostly comfortable. And sort of leaning against his host.

“Sorry, is this okay?”

“I’m great, are you comfortable?”

He nodded. He was, very.

So comfortable, in fact, that he dozed off before Janet and Brad got to Frankfurter’s house.

Synopsis

Dancer Seth Avery has it all. He’s at the top of his game as a dancer and he’s in love with famous dance director Fayden DelMonaco, the man who is his sub. Seth’s whole world is turned upside down when Fayden dumps him in the nastiest and most public way possible. To compound matters, he’s in near fatal car crash shortly thereafter that leaves him severely injured.

Brook Turner is an ex-lawyer turned micro-brewer, baby-brother of Seth’s best friend Lizzie. The two met briefly before Seth’s accident, but it’s when they meet again six years later that they get a chance to act on the attraction they’d initially felt.

With Brook’s help, Seth begins to heal not only from his residual physical injuries, but also from the emotional ones inflicted by Fayden. Will it be enough to keep the two of them together?

Join Seth and Brooke as they find a new way to dance together.

Excerpt

“Did you see USA Today, man?” Julian plopped down, eyes wide. “Fayden is… Well, he’s not naming names, but…”

Seth looked at one of his oldest friends and arguably the best choreographer he knew and tried not to growl. “I saw.”

He saw. His brother saw. His mom saw. His neighbor. Fayden’s sister. Ernie at the fucking convenience store where he bought his daily diet energy shot saw.

“World-Famous Director Escapes from Abusive Sex-Slave Relationship! Says He Feared for His Life!”

Sex slave.

Christ.

Ten years they’d been together. He’d been nineteen when he’d met Fay. Nineteen and horny and amazed that a man almost twenty years his senior with money and power and the most beautiful eyes on earth would want a dancer in the chorus.

“It’s all lies,” Julian told him. “You should sue him.”

“Just drop it, Jules. It’s no big deal.”

Just a huge, life-changing, world-altering deal.

Julian’s eyebrow went up, the man not saying another word but still speaking volumes.

“What do you want me to say? I… I don’t have anything.” He had an apartment. The cops had let him take his car and computer—after they’d copied the hard drive for evidence.

Evidence.

Christ.

“Honey, I’m on your side here.” Julian hugged him.

“I know. I do. Thank God for that.” Who else would he have called from the jail? His lawyer was Fay’s. His friends were Fay’s. Julian was it. His saving grace.

“Come on out with me tonight. There’s a new bar that we haven’t ever been to—he won’t be there.”

“No. Not yet. I’m not going out right now. I need to recover.” Seth needed his space.

“You need someone to take the bad taste of that asshole out of your mouth,” Julian said.

Seth blinked, then started laughing, deep, full belly laughs that felt so good. God, this sucked so hard. “I caught him with another man. That new dancer. Dylan.”

Dylan was nineteen now. Ah, the irony.

“Shit, he’s old enough to be that boy’s grandfather!”

“Yeah. Well, you know…” Seth was going to lie down and die, simple as that. Okay, he wasn’t, but he was going to pretend to, mentally.

“You think we should warn Dylan what a predator asshole he is?”

“Poor, innocent, victimized Fay?” He shrugged. “You wait. I’ll stop getting jobs soon.” It was inevitable.

Julian shook his head. “That’s not fair.” Seth noticed that his friend didn’t say it wasn’t going to happen.

“Life’s not fair. I have to work out and head home. I have an audition for a music video in the morning.” Hopefully he’d make a good impression. It would be good to put some money in the bank before the jobs started drying up.

Julian hugged Seth tight. “If there’s anything I can do, honey…”

“I love you, honest. Maybe we’ll meet for brunch on Sunday? Somewhere new?” Somewhere the paparazzi and Fayden wouldn’t be.

“You got it. Text me the deets.”

“Absolutely.” He grabbed his coffee and headed out of the little coffee shop outside of the studio he’d rehearsed in most of his adult life.

He was going to lose that too, he’d bet. Everything was going to just disappear because Fay had decided to trade him in for a younger model and was doing it in the nastiest way possible. Seth could feel everyone staring at him, could hear people talking about him.

He couldn’t stand it anymore and it was only going to get worse.

“Hey. Seth. I…” Lizzie Bean came up, took his arm, the leggy dancer as tall as he was. They’d worked together a hundred times at least. “I don’t know what to say except that I love you, man, and people suck.”

He made this weird half-tickled, half-surprised sound. “They totally do. God, they do.”

“Come have supper with us? Mel is grilling chicken.”

Mel was an amazing cook. And it was tempting, being with people who wouldn’t look at him like he was a monster.

“Please. Come on. You look exhausted and I promise to just feed you foods with no real calories and ply you with wine.” She put her hand on his arm. “Please.”

“God, you’re so demanding.” Seth nodded, though, found a smile. “Let’s go.”

She beamed at him and slid her hand into the crook of his elbow when they started to walk. Lizzie and Mel lived not that far from the studio in a converted loft with the most amazing roof garden full of potted trees and flowering plants and several large raised areas where they grew vegetables.

Mel was big into farm-to-table cooking and tried to grow as much of his own produce as he could.

Lizzie told him a story about one of Mel’s nephews—the man had far too many nieces and nephews to keep track of—who had gotten a skateboard for his birthday and become the terror of the neighborhood.

Seth tried to laugh in all the right places. Every so often he’d catch sight of himself in a window, just the barest hint, and he’d sigh. He’d really thought Fay was his Mr. Right. They’d been into the same things, the chemistry had been off the charts, they were uber-compatible in bed…

Purchase

Evil Plot Bunny | Amazon

Meet the Author

Often referred to as “Space Cowboy” and “Gangsta of Love” while still striving for the moniker of “Maurice,” Sean Michael spends his days surfing, smutting, organizing his immense gourd collection and fantasizing about one day retiring on a small secluded island peopled entirely by horseshoe crabs. While collecting vast amounts of vintage gay pulp novels and mood rings, Sean whiles away the hours between dropping the f-bomb and pursuing the kama sutra by channeling the long lost spirit of John Wayne and singing along with the soundtrack to “Chicago.”

A long-time writer of complicated haiku, currently Sean is attempting to learn the advanced arts of plate spinning and soap carving sex toys.

Barring any of that? He’ll stick with writing his stories, thanks, and rubbing pretty bodies together to see if they spark.

Sean’s available for interviews, by the way. He can always be talked into, well talking about himself. Just drop him an email.

 

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Tour Schedule

June 26 – Sue Brown’s Stories |  MillsyLovesBooks | Because Two Men Are Better Than One

June 27 – BFD Book Blog | Stories That Make You Smile

June 28 – The Really Naughty Corner | Happily Ever Chapter | Wicked Faerie’s Tales and Reviews

June 29 – MM Good Book Reviews | Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words | Boy Meets Boy Reviews | Divine Magazine

June 30 – SiK Reviews | Dawn’s Reading Nook | Two Chicks Obsessed

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A MelanieM Recent Release Review: Hawaiian Ginger (The Hawaiians #4) by Meg Amor

Rating: 4.75 stars out of 5

Zane Andrews, a striking redhead and severely deaf dancer, has a love of pretty aloha dresses and girly feminine things. He comes from a poor, and extremely sheltered, cultish background. When he and Danny connect after the winning tango, things heat up quickly. But what about Zane’s relationship with Kaleho? Guilt eats at him and he wonders what he’s doing.

Danny’s a fourth-generation Hawaiian Big Islander, from the wealthy Lucerno ranching family. He’s a dark-haired, smoldering mix of Portuguese male and Argentine sensuality who was fighting his attraction to Zane. But even he can’t deny where his heart has taken him.

When Zane decides to face Kaleho, Danny disappears to Las Vegas. Zane’s worried he’s gone back to his old, glamorous life he had with Paolo. Has he lost Danny?

Zane’s first time on a plane to Vegas away from Hawai’i overwhelms him. And what if Danny rejects him? Then Zane’s past catches up with him. His abusive birth parents sue Danny and his adopted family, the Masterson-Mahikoas, sending everyone into turmoil.

Can they finally heal from the past abuse of dysfunctional family relationships? Will Danny and Zane be able to accept each other’s backgrounds, insecurities, and express their deep feelings for each other?

As Hawaiian Fragrance (The Hawaiians #3) was Danny Lucerno’s story, Hawaiian Ginger (The Hawaiians #4) is Zane Andrews.  Zane, as we’ve come to know him, is one of Rob and Kulani’s lost boys (the Masterson-Mahikoas household now).  Zane is deaf, embraces both his male and feminine sides, especially true when it comes to dresses, makeup and jewelry, outward extensions of that part of himself that feels “girly” most of the time while still enjoying the fact that he’s male as well. Getting to know Zane has been an important and rewarding element of this series.  Amor has researched the speech patterns of those with the same level of hearing impairment as  Zane so his conversations “sound” as natural as one would expect from someone who’s severely deaf.  Another realistic narrative touch? That Zane’s thoughts flow as naturally as would someone with full hearing.  Only the misplaced words or misunderstandings make it into both inner and outer dialogs.  After four stories, Zane’s “voice” is one that lingers in my head and heart, complete with missed words and letters from his lip reading or hearing aids on the flux.

Throughout the series the author has given her readers tidbits and clues about each of the  “lost boys” backgrounds and reason for their initial homelessness before Kulani found them and made them into a family.  Here Zane’s history comes out (thankfully not explicit) to the extent that we start to comprehend the deep hell of abuse he suffered and survived.  I get the feeling that the elements left about his shaking, his sister,  and the compound might come out in future stories, something that makes me cringe and want to know more at the same time.  Either way, I don’t think we are done with the horror that is the Andrews family yet.

With Zane you get Danny as this story picks up after their competition and beginning of their romance.  Told from both  perspectives (important when you have a character as impetuous and insecure as Danny), the main focus is on Zane, his path towards self-acceptance and love, and perhaps, the final steps to making the Masterson-Mahikoas a complete family right down to an enchanting cat Mr. Beaumont.  It’s quite the journey, taking all of the family (Rob, Kulani, Zane, Danny and the Twins as well as Beau and Matty) off to New Zealand to see the grandparents and meet new cousins The Twos.  I have to admit the family trip to NZ is  one of my favorite elements here.  From the magical landscape, the two sets of grandparents (I won’t get into them here, but yes,  as grounded and heartwarming as you would want), an unforgettable Christmas beach vacation and two young men, The Twos, who surely we will see again when the twins get their own story.  It’s here that Zane finally gains acceptance and an insight into cultures  who embrace a third gender in their people.  Amor brings in cultures, family, mysticism and more for one more shining example why this series and this story has such depth and becomes what I consider a “must read” for everyone.

Finally, it’s both Zane and Danny’s story as they work through their issues of acceptance of each other while dealing with their own continuing emotional “ground tremors and earthquakes” left behind by their upbringings and childhoods.  Luckily they have their dads and plenty of support to help them through this rough passage.  Amor also delivers moving, emotional scenes guaranteed to leave you in tears time and again throughout Hawaiian Ginger.  How I adored this book!  The only reason I didn’t give this story a complete 5 star rating was that I thought the surplus of sex scenes at the beginning of the story kept the reader from diving into the plot and new relationship between Danny and Zane.  However, maybe that was the idea.  They were using the newness of their sexual relationship to keep them from talking to each other about the things they knew needed to be discussed.  And the author wanted us to see that as well as deliver some very hot sex!  But I found I wanted to jump right  into the heavier layers and save some of this for later.  But that was just me.

The final pages of this book left me cheering! You will be too.  I highly recommend Hawaiian Ginger and all the stories in The Hawaiian series by Meg Amor but they aren’t standalones and should be read in the order they have been published for the reader to get the full background, relationships and watch the character growth that occurs.  More stories are coming and I can’t wait to grab them up!

For those readers like me who can’t get enough of this family and series, don’t forget to check out Meg Amor’s Hawaiian Ginger page with the referenced flowers, locations, models etc.  It’s not to be missed either.

Cover art by Syneca Featherstone has some of the elements I love although that’s not really Zane I see in my head.

Sales Links:  Loose id LLC | Amazon

Book Details:

Kindle Edition, 311 pages
Published June 6th 2017 by Loose Id LLC
ASINB072Q5J4CC
Series The Hawaiians

An Ali Review: His Pirate (Second Chance #2) by Stephanie Lake

 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Rhain Morgan is desperate to leave London and move his ailing sister to a climate that will save her life, so he books passage to their Caribbean plantation on the only available ship, captained by Alastair Breckenridge. Rhain fights his attraction to the alluring captain, who looks and acts like a pirate, but the man’s fairness wins Rhain over. The trip that once seemed endless is now too short.

For years, Alastair held people away from his heart, until Rhain. Finally admitting his feelings to himself, he tries to convince Rhain to stay on board, but it’s all in vain.

Despite his own burgeoning feelings for Alastair, Rhain wants to prove himself and refuses to let go of his dream of making a home for his sister and himself on their plantation. But as Alastair’s ship sails away, Rhain is left alone to make the best of disastrous circumstances and overwhelmed by regret, nurses his broken heart.

When all seems lost, could they dare hope for a second chance to set things right and love again?
This was a fun read.  The authors took a traditional Regency story but gave it a twist by making one of the characters a pirate.  (A very yummy pirate).  Rhain and Alastair meet as Rhain takes his sister on a voyage to their plantation.  The two men have some issues up front but neither can deny their attraction to the other.  They end up giving in to their desires and that gives the reader both a sweet love story and some hot bedroom scenes.  The chemistry between the two men jumps off the pages at you and I really loved them together.  I was definitely rooting for these two to work things out and get their happily ever after.
There are two rather important side characters, Rhain’s sister and Alastair’s first mate.  I liked them both and they really added to the overall plot.
My only complaint is a minor one.  I was hoping for more swashbuckling and pirating than we got here.  While most of the story takes place on the ship the story is really a romance more than anything else.  Despite that small thing, I enjoyed this a lot and I will be going back to read the previous books in the series.  It was a good “new author to me” experience.
Cover:  I love this cover.  It’s what made me decide to read the book.  The guy on the cover looks like everyone’s favorite pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, so I had to give this a chance.
Sales Links
Book details:
ebook, 174 pages
Published May 23rd 2017 by Loose Id
ISBN139781682523391
Edition LanguageEnglish
SeriesSecond Chance #2
Other Editions (1)
His Pirate (Second Chance, #2)

A MelanieM Release Day Review: Pyresnakes by Tray Ellis

Rating: 3 stars out of 5

There is another world existing alongside the one most see everyday, and although it is a place of magic and wonder, the dangers are very real.

Aran, an artist, grew up on his grandmother’s tales of the Side-by-Side world. He never expected his knowledge of folklore would aid his boyfriend, Brandon, in an arson investigation, but the snakes that burst into flames when agitated are something he recalls from those childhood stories.

When Aran vanishes, Brandon knows his time as a state trooper won’t help find him, so he enlists the aid of Aran’s grandmother, Ruth, and they venture into the Side-by-Side world.

But Aran has no memory of his life prior to crossing between worlds, and he’s enjoying the company of his handsome new companion, Ren. Even if Brandon and Ruth reach him, convincing him to return to his former home won’t be easy. In a contemporary fairy-tale adventure set among forests and trails, Aran must choose between a mystical fantasy world and the man he loves.

Pyresnakes by Tray Ellis has a very neat premise, some elements of fascinating world building and an execution in the storytelling that just doesn’t rise to meet either of those to the potential indicated.  It comes close at points and the author’s imagination really soars with the creation of the Pyresnakes and the Side by Side world.  Those snakes are a magical touch, combusting into flames when threatened and called, lying harmlessly about when not.  I especially loved the reason behind their name and their role in the Side by Side universe.  Made perfect poetic sense as did their reason for being in the “normal” one.

What didn’t make sense?  Brandon’s reaction to the whole “snakes on fire” thing. Even after seeing them in action, he’s almost lackluster about such an astonishing creature.  Even after Aran tells him about their mythology.  In fact, Brandon’s easy acceptance and lack of incredulity, amazement, any believable reaction here made me quickly lose interest in him as a character.  I didn’t believe in his relationship to Aran simply because it felt as though the man had no honest emotions.  The word I’m looking for is cardboard.

I adored Ruth and the denizens of the Side by Side world.  Far more interesting than this one, including Ren and his brand of revenge and justice.  Just couldn’t understand by Aran wanted to return to Brandon myself.  Ellis didn’t ever deliver a real relationship between the two of them before Aran disappears so again the reader is at odds to figure out why we should root for Aran to return to Brandon when everything in the Side by Side world is far more interesting and in tune with Aran then the one he left behind.

How he finds Aran is a neat little tale on its own but the reunion?  Bland and sort of anticlimactic.  The romance alone would get 2 stars because there just doesn’t feel like any connection between the MCs. What saves this story is the world building and creations here.  Told from both povs, we travel with Aran in the Side by Side world as well as with Brandon in the ‘regular” universe, keeping tabs on both as the search for Aran continues, Aran’s memory loss deepens and Ruth and Brandon get increasingly desperate to find Aran.  Aran’s journey is magical as is everything he sees.  There’s the story, it’s his road we want to be on, his and Ruth his grandmother.  A wonderful thing in a fantasy, a sad thing to say in a romance.

If this sounds like something you would enjoy, grab it up.

Cover Artist: Christine Griffin is dramatic and covers a scene in the story. Well done.

Sales Links:  Dreamspinner Press | Amazon

Book Details:

Kindle Edition, 143 pages
Expected publication: June 28th 2017 by Dreamspinner Press
ASINB071WR7SJC

A Barb the Zany Old Lady Audiobook Review: See Me (Lightning Tales #3) by K.C. Wells and Joel Leslie (Narrator)

Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

Narrator: Joel Leslie

Great story and great narration! There’s not much I love more than enemies to lovers, gay men in touch with their feminine side, drag queens, coming out, and stories of redemption. This one has it all, including a new favorite couple brought to life by the very talented voice actor, Joel Leslie.

Marty Cavanaugh is deep in the closet, as the story opens, and only allows himself to have quick oral sex with drag queens, aka men dressed as women. Call it a subconscious attempt to pretend he’s straight, or call it deplorable. Either way, he’s coming to see just how damaged he is. When the new drag queen at his favorite club refuses to meet him for his usual, he’s intrigued. Little does he know, he’s been spotted by her, and she recognizes him as the boy who hung with the pack who made his life miserable in high school. Adrian/Adrienne has never forgotten Marty and now sees her chance to get back at him by shining the spotlight of humiliation on him at her drag show.

But payback doesn’t taste quite as good as revenge usually does, so when remorse and regret begin to eat at Adrien’s conscience he discovers that this Marty is not the same as the boy who was afraid to stand up to his bully buddies to defend Adrien when they were kids. This Marty is willing to come out of his self-imposed closet to stand up for a coworker and to listen to Adrien when he comes to Marty’s house to apologize. And when the two discover just how well they fit together, the romance, which has been waiting in the wings for years, finally blossoms.

In the hands of this outstanding narrator, the story comes to life, and I felt as if I were sitting in the audience at a movie theater watching it unfold. The story itself was terrific as the author filled in the backstory of both characters and incorporated visits from both couples from the first two books as well. I always love a chance to revisit past couples as it adds more dimension to each subsequent story. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this one to anyone who enjoys MM romance, and in particular, stories that include the tags I previously mentioned as well as a bit of fem lingerie, and yes, virgins. Really, what’s not to like about his one? Highly recommended—in audio form, of course!

Cover art is stunning and works for the story.

Sales Links

Amazon US | Amazon UK | Audible US | Audible UK

 

Audiobook Details:

Listening Time: 5 hrs 11 min

Audiobook
Published May 31st 2017 by K. C. Wells (first published January 29th 2016)
Original Title See Me
Edition Language English

Audiobook Review Tour for See Me (Lightning Tales #3) by K.C. Wells and Joel Leslie (Narrator)

 

 
Narrated By: Joel Leslie
 
Blurb


Adrian DeSoto spent most of his time in high school being bullied and beaten up, simply because he was perceived as gay. Always slight, effeminate, he was the perfect victim for guys like Martin Cavanaugh, one of the high school jocks. When it all got too much, Adrian was faced with two options, one more devastating than the other. Eleventh grade saw a new Adrian, one who hid his fears and pain behind a mask in a bid to survive.

Eleven years later, and Adrienne is one of the top drag acts in Orlando. She’s fierce, funny, and exuberant. A face from the past gives her a shock, and after that there’s only one thing on her mind – revenge.

Marty Cavanaugh has a particular kink. He loves it when a drag queen goes down on him. But that’s as far as it goes. He won’t admit to himself what’s under that tight fitting dress. And then he meets Adrienne and his whole world goes into a tailspin…

Warning – Contains men in drag, honey! You have been warned.




June 26 – Open Skye Book Reviews, The Geekery Book Review
June 28 – Scattered Thoughts & Rogue Words, Bonkers About Books, RAM PA Group, The Power Of Three Readers
June 30 – My Fiction Nook
July 3 – Making It Happen
July 5 – We Three Queens, Alpha Book Club, Boy Meets Boy Reviews, Love To Read Romance Books, MM Good Book Reviews, Rainbow Gold Reviews

Author Bio

Born and raised in the north-west of England, K.C. WELLS always loved writing. Words were important. Full stop. However, when childhood gave way to adulthood, the writing ceased, as life got in the way. K.C. discovered erotic fiction in 2009, when the purchase of a ménage storyline led to the startling discovery that reading about men in love was damn hot. In 2012, arriving at a really low point in life led to the desperate need to do something creative. An even bigger discovery waited in the wings—writing about men in love was even hotter….

K.C. now writes full-time and is loving every minute of her new career. The laptop still has no idea of what hit it… it only knows that it wants a rest, please. And it now has to get used to the idea that where K.C goes, it goes.

And as for those men in love that she writes about? The list of stories just waiting to be written is getting longer… and longer….

K.C. loves to hear from readers.



E-mail: k.c.wells@btinternet.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KCWellsWorld
Twitter: @K_C_Wells
Website: http://www.kcwellsworld.com

Narrator Bio

Joel Leslie is a UK transplant, growing up with American parents in a British commonwealth. A classically trained actor with an MFA in theatre from USC, he is often cast for his unique ability to deliver native, authentic combinations of American and British sounds. Among the m/m series he records are NR Walker’s Red Dirt Heart, Haley Walsh’s Skyler Foxe Mysteries, Sloane Kennedy’s Protectors, Adam Carpenter’s Jimmy McSwain Files, Perie Woolford’s Sam Dorsey’s Gay Popcorn, and Smith and LeNoir’s Blackballed trilogy. His great range and ability to bring characters to life with honesty, wit and versatility delights producers and listeners alike.

He is proud to have a strong following with m/m listeners and an ongoing relationship with some of the finest writers in the genre. He loves that every day he gets to share these beautiful, inspirational and empowering GLBT characters with the world. When not in the booth he spends his time chasing after two loquacious wiener dogs. He records projects outside of the m/m genre under the name Joel Froomkin. Visit www.joelleslienarration.com for more and friend him on facebook at Joel Leslie Froomkin.

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Haven Francis on ‘We Are All Liars’, Writing and her latest release ‘Riding with Brighton’ (guest post, excerpt and giveaway)

Riding with Brighton by Haven Francis
Harmony Ink Press
Cover Artist: Aaron Anderson

Available for Purchase at Harmony Ink Press

Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words is happy to have Haven Francis here today on tour with Riding with Brighton.  Haven has brought along a giveaway so be sure to enter at the bottom of the blog. Welcome, Haven!

♦︎

WE ARE ALL LIARS by Haven Francis

In the spirit of Riding with Brighton, I’ve decided to revisit some of the more life-changing moments that Jay and Brighton managed to flirt and laugh their way through. Stop 3 is the river (aka, where Jay loses his sh@# and finally admits he’s a liar). 

Let’s talk about lying! It’s something most of us do every day, probably several times a day. If you’re thinking, maybe she does, but I certainly don’t, you might be right. But I bet that today, in response to the question, “How are you?”, you probably replied, “good”. And I’m almost certain that’s not the honest-to-God truth. Maybe you’re still pissed off at that self-righteous jackass who doesn’t think basic traffic laws apply to him, or you had a conversation with someone you care about that rubbed you the wrong way. It could be you’re just having a bad hair day or feel gross in your clothes. I could be wrong, it’s possible that you really are one-hundred-percent “good” but it’s also possible that’s just another lie, one you’re telling yourself. Which is where most of our lying occurs: in our own heads.  The lies come in the form of excuses and procrastination, sometimes we even rebrand the lies as “positive thinking”.  The truth is, telling yourself, I’ll deal with that closet tomorrow, or, what they’re doing to me isn’t that bad, are damn lies and you know it. They’re a-holes and that closet’s never getting cleaned.

In Riding with Brighton, this is what Jay did: he told himself one lie in order to make his life better and then, in order to make that lie become the truth, he told one more. And so on and so forth until, by the time we meet him, his lies have spun him right onto the edge of a nervous breakdown and complete identity crisis. And even then, instead of coming to terms with the one big lie he told so long ago, he decides to ignore it and forge a new path built on – yes, you guessed it – more lies.

And this time, Jay’s not keeping the fiction-foraging fun to himself. He recruits his artistic, outspoken, alternative classmate, Brighton Bello-Adler to be his unwilling partner in crime. Jay figures, if he can just become like Brighton, then all the mistakes, all the wrong roads he took in the past, will disappear and he can start over. But we all know that doesn’t work. Just because you close the door and put a padlock on it, doesn’t mean there’s not still a huge festering mess inside that closet you keep telling yourself your gonna clean. Because there is – the mess is still there. Yes, I know you can’t see it, but trust me, it’s there. And deep down you know it, and you’re thinking about that damn closet now more than ever. If you’re like Jay, you might even become paranoid and unable to look at anything without wondering how it relates to the mess you’re keeping locked up.

Eventually, it will all boil over and come exploding out. In the closet scenario it might be a literal explosion, but for Jay it’s an emotional one, and also an unintentional one. He didn’t want to tell the truth, but he did – for the first time in his life.  And… it wasn’t so bad. Not nearly as bad as he had anticipated. Certainly not bad enough to derail his entire life over. Which is usually the case: lies fester and grow and take on a life of their own inside your amazing and scary brain.

But the good news is that once you tell that first truth, it’s as if you’ve scraped away a layer of mildew from your eyes and suddenly you can see clearly. In Jay’s case, he finally feels like his true self for the first time in his life and this is when the real journey begins.

Something I know from personal experience to be true is that once you open up and show others who you really are, they tend to do the same thing. Telling the truth is infectious. In Jay and Brighton’s case, so infections that they end up upheaving the entire student body…

Blurb

In the small town of Spring Valley, molds weren’t made to be broken, and high school senior Jay Hall’s been living comfortably in his popular jock one since adolescence. If it weren’t for the colorful, outspoken artistic anomaly Brighton Bello-Adler, he might have been willing to remain there. Unnaturally drawn to Brighton, Jay knows he needs something from him, but is he ready to find out what that something is?

Temporarily ditching his old life, Jay climbs into Brighton’s Bronco and finds himself on a whirlwind road trip through parts of his small town he didn’t know existed. When the excursion takes an unexpected turn, Jay is cracked wide open, and the person who’s revealed does strange things to Brighton’s heart.

But just when it appears they could be headed toward their own shared piece of paradise, the road takes a sharp right turn into Jay’s life—where the real trip is about to begin.

In an unconventional love story that defies labels, two young men embark on a journey toward growing up, coming out, and finding their place in the world. It’s a trip that ranges from heartbreaking to uplifting, funny to sweet, but always unique and personal.

Excerpt

“I’m detecting a theme here as far as your little crisis goes,” he says with humor in his voice.

“It’s not too hard to figure out. I’m sick of living this life I made for myself and am mourning the guy I could have become, the life I could have had, if I had just grown a pair and done what I wanted to instead of what people expected me to do.”

“So what’s your plan when you go off to college? You’re gonna get a fresh start, be who you want to be…. Who are you gonna be?”

“I don’t know.”

He knocks his boot into my shoe again. “Yes you do. If you can’t even talk about the things you want to do, how are you gonna actually do them?”

Shit. Does he know? Is he trying to get me to admit that I’m gay? Do I want to admit that to him? Am I ready to say that out loud? I suck in a long breath, and as I’m exhaling it the words I think I might be gay are running through my brain, but when the words come out they’re “I want to write.”

I turn my head to Brighton. He’s staring right at me. His face is mostly blank, but I can see the confusion. Slowly, though, a smile creeps in. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s cool. I’ve always been shit at writing. What do you write?”

I shake my head. “Nothing, really.”

“Come on, Jay. You need to get over whatever it is that’s holding you back. You can say whatever you want to say to me. I’m not gonna judge you. It’s not gonna change my opinion about you. In fact if you’d open up and give me something… one thing… I might feel better about the fact that I’ve been talking about myself all day.”

I want to talk to him. I want to tell him things. But the truth is that, for whatever reason, I care about his opinion of me more than anyone else’s. “It’s stupid.”

“Is it time for the pep talk? Do we need to do a rundown of all your redeeming qualities?”

“Umm… hell no….”

He ignores my request. “You’re the most popular guy at our school; we’ve already established that you’re decent-looking and, with me out of the game, you could have any girl you want. Your body’s on point; I’ve heard you’re a pretty good athlete; you’re smart; you’re cool; you’re thoughtful; and you’re funny…. So where’s all this insecurity and self-deprecating crap coming from?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m not usually like this. I think it’s just… you.” Oh shit. Immediately I can feel my veins pulsing under my skin, and all my muscles go on lockdown at this confession. I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack, and I’m already regretting the words that just came out of my mouth.

“Why would you feel insecure around me?” he asks.

Okay. That’s not what I meant. I mean it is, but I thought the implications were obvious. But maybe they weren’t. So I hold tight to the out he’s given me. “Because everything about me is superficial and nothing about you is, so I guess I just naturally feel inferior around you.”

“That’s such bullshit,” he says, his face turning intense, borderline angry. “I mean, come on, man. I just gave you a hella long list of all the reasons I think you’re cool. And you haven’t even opened up to me. If you did that, all it would do is make me like you more. ‘Inferior. That’s such a crap excuse.” He’s propped himself up on his elbow now, and he’s practically raging at me.

I can literally feel my body temperature rising. I want to yell back at him; I want to get all this shit out of me. I want to jump on him and take all my pent-up aggression out with him. I want to grab his hair and kiss the shit out of him. And Jesus, now I’m hovering over him, sitting on my knees, my hands pulling on my hair. I close my eyes and try to rein myself in.

“Just fucking tell me,” he says, and the tone of his voice, a painful whisper, snakes through my body and releases the hold that I’m keeping on all of the secrets inside me.

“I don’t know who the hell I am,” I say, seething, my eyes still closed tight. “I wake up every morning in that fucking house and look in the mirror, and I don’t know who the hell I am. I’m scared shitless of the thoughts running through my head. I’m terrified of the feelings that erupt in me when I’m around you, and I don’t know how long I can keep denying the truth. How long I can keep lying to myself. But I know I have to. I know I’ll never get to be who I want to be. And the fucking truth….” I let out a long, exasperated breath and fall back on my hands, finally opening my eyes and looking at him. “Is that I think about you all the time.” I’m breathing hard like I just ran a marathon. My vision is blurry, but I can see that Brighton is sitting up now too. And he’s smiling at me.

“Yeah?” he asks.

I nod and let out another long breath, trying like hell not to pass out. “Yeah.”

“That’s cool. I mean, I’m flattered.”

“Shit,” I mutter to myself, running my hands over my face before collapsing back on the ground. It’s like everything inside me just got ripped out of my body with those words.

The longer I lie here, though, the more the panic and fear evaporate and something else is taking its place. Relief? Excitement? Happiness? I’m not sure. It’s something I’ve never felt before.

“You okay?” Brighton asks.

“Yeah. I think I am.” I can’t help but laugh.

“I thought you were gonna go all hulk on my ass for a minute there the way you were practically vibrating.”

“I can’t believe I just said that to you. It’s scary as hell.”

“You want to talk about it?”

Jesus, no. “I think that’s about as much as I can handle for now.”

“All right,” he says easily. “So, you want to get out of here?”

I turn my head to him, cracking one eye open because it’s about all the physical activity I can handle at the moment. He’s propped up on his elbows, his legs kicked out in front of him, every part of him looking totally content. No signs of worry or stress on his face, which seems wrong, seeing as how he’s sitting so close to me. How can this hurricane of emotions I’m in the middle of not be sending at least a little gust his way? “Can I have a minute?”

“Yeah, take all the time you need.”

I close my eyes again and try to put myself back together. It’s like a bomb just went off inside me and tore everything apart. Which sounds gory, but maybe I can dig through the gooey mess and assemble something better than what I started with. Maybe this time I can get it right.

I lay there until my bones no longer feel weak and my head doesn’t feel like it’s completely covered in mud. When I open my eyes again, Brighton is gone, and I swear to God, a slimy vise clamps down on my heart. Shit. What the hell is that about? And when I see him, a little ways down the shore, skipping rocks into the water, I smile. Oh crap, am I giddy? For sure I’m nervous as hell.

What the hell do I do now that he knows how I feel about him? I mean in my fantasies—because, yes, I’ve had a ton of them—I confess how I feel about him, and he immediately takes control of the situation and practically rips my clothes off. I mean, he totally rips my clothes off. But, dang, that didn’t happen.

I search through the fog of my memories from the last however many minutes it’s been since I had my meltdown, trying to remember his exact reaction. He looked happy. But all he said was that it was cool and he was flattered. I don’t know why I assumed that just because I was into him he’d be into me too. Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’s gonna automatically want me. God, that’s a blow to the ego. And a total wrecking ball to my alternate fantasy world.

 

About the Author

An escapist filled with wanderlust, writing is Haven’s responsible adult version of getting in the car and driving without aim. Reading and music are close seconds. She and her husband can often be found checking out their favorite bands locally or hundreds of miles away via road trips. Reading is something they don’t have in common, but he tolerates her dimly lit late-night habit.

Haven once made a living writing about trends in interior design but thoroughly enjoys that fact that people, unlike furniture, can fall in love. She especially loves when they fall desperately and into a forbidden kind of love. Haven also works as a graphic designer but considers Mom her most important title.

She has a slightly embarrassing fascination with the period of life that sits awkwardly between childhood and adulthood; the years when nothing is certain, lots of mistakes are made, falling in love is inevitable, and finding yourself is a struggle. For her it’s a fun place to escape to and she hopes her readers agree.

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