Scattered Thoughts Best Books of 2012

What a spectacular year for great books in every genre from historical to fantasy! I have read so many wonderful books and series this year that it is hard to even begin to narrow down the list, although I have tried. What makes a book great for me? So many things, that it needs its own list.

The books I listed here are ones that moved me to tears and made me laugh out loud, they took me to places I have never been to see sights fantastic, miraculous, and awe inspiring. I have watched dragons soar and seen twin suns set over alien worlds. Through these wonderful authors I have met people who continue to stay with me through the power of their stories and the connectedness that I feel with each of the characters I have read about. Sometimes the books have taught me something about myself and how I looked at others or just gave me a deeper appreciation for my fellow beings.

I have grieved with men who have lost their soul mates, been with them as they worked through the trauma and loss, and celebrated as they moved forward with their lives. I watched men fall in love, whether it be with shifters, wizards, or just a man they met on the side of the road. Love lost, love found or lovers rediscovering the best about each other…that seems to know no boundaries as far as who you are and what world you inhabit. It doesn’t even matter whether the story is set in the past or goes far into the future. The authors and books listed here are ones that I cherish and return to often to visit with them once more. If you haven’t already read them, I hope you will add them to your list of must reads, as they are surely mine.

Oh, and by the way, this list is not complete. There are some wonderful books still to be released in the last two weeks of December, and there are some that I just missed from my own reviews. So look to see a revised list after the first of the year. Really there is something for everyone here. Happy reading!

Best Historical Book:
All Lessons Learned by Charlie Cochrane (Best Series) review coming in 2013
The Celestial by Barry Brennessel
The Mystery of Ruby Lode by Scotty Cade

Best Short Story

Eight Days by Cardeno C
Fair Puckled by Bella Leone
Lily by Xavier Axelson
Leather Work and Lonely Cowboys, a Roughstock story, by BA Tortuga
Too Careful by Half, a Roughstock story, BA Tortuga

Best Contemporary Romance – Standalone

Fall Into the Sun by Val Kovalin
Marathon Cowboys by Sarah Black

Fallout by Ariel Tachna

Good Bones by Kim Fielding

Legend of the Apache Kid by Sarah Black

Mine by Mary Calmes
Play It Again, Charlie by RC CooperScrap Metal by Harper Fox
Sidecar by Amy Lane

The Cool Part of His Pillow by Rodney Ross

 Best Novels – Part of a Series

A Foreign Range by Andrew Grey
Acceleration by Amelia C. Gormley
But My Boyfriend Is by KA Mitchell
Chase the Stars by Ariel Tachna
Cherish, Faith, Love & Devotion 4 by Tere Michaels
Frat Boy and Toppy by Anne Tenino
Full Circle by RJ Scott
Hope by William Neale
Inherit the Sky by Ariel Tachna (Best Series)
Second Hand, a Tucker Springs story by Heidi Cullinan and Marie Sexton
Stars & Stripes by Abigail Roux (Best Series)
The Journal of Sanctuary One by RJ Scott
The Melody Thief by Shira Anthony (also Best Series)
Who We Are by TJ Klune

Best First Novels
The Cool Park of His Pillow by Rodney Ross
Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander
Inertia by Amelia C. Gormley (Best Series)

Best Supernatural Book:
A Token of Time by Ethan Day
Crucible of Fate by Mary Calmes (Best Series)
Druid Stone by Heidi Belleau and Violetta Vane
Ghosts in the Wind by Marguerite Labbe
Hawaiian Gothic by Heidi Belleau and Violetta Vane
Infected: Life After Death by Andrea Speed (Best Series)
Riot Boy by Katey Hawthorne
The Gravedigger’s Brawl by Abigail Roux

Science Fiction Books:
Emerald Fire by A. Catherine Noon and Rachel Wilder
The Trust by Shira Anthony

Best Fantasy Books:
 Black Magic by Megan Derr
Burning Bright by Megan Derr (Lost Gods series)
Chaos (Lost Gods series) by Megan Derr
Magic’s Muse by Anne Barwell
Poison by Megan Derr (Lost Gods series)
Treasure by Megan Derr (Lost Gods series)
Best Series – new books this year:
A Change of Heart series by Mary Calmes (supernatural)
Blue Notes series by Shira Anthony (contemporary)
Cambridge Fellows series by Charlie Cochrane (historical)
Cut & Run series by Abigail Roux (and Madeleine Urban) (Contemporary)
Faith, Love & Devotion series by Tere Michaels (contemporary)
Infected Series by Andrea Speed (supernatural)
Knitting series by Amy Lane (contemporary)
Lost Gods by Megan Derr (Fantasy)
Sanctuary series by RJ Scott (contemporary)
Sci Regency series by JL Langley (science fiction)

So Many Great Series, here are more of my favorites:

A Matter of Time series by Mary Calmes (contemporary)

Jewel Bonds series by Megan Derr (fantasy)

Superpowered Love series by Katey Hawthorne

Wick series by Megan Derr
Best Anthologies:

Three Fates
Animal Magnetism
Lashings of Sauce
Making Contact

I know that many books are missing but I just did not get to them this year, including JP Barnaby’s Little Boy Lost series, Andrew Grey’s Range series, and so many more.  Look for them in 2013.  Do you have a favorite I should know about?  Write me and let me know.

Hurricane Sandy Relief Still Needed, Books with a Bittersweet tag and the Week Ahead in Reviews

So on top of Hurricane Sandy, the nor’Easter hit the very same areas with another punch.  So I am putting out there once more the name of organizations providing assistance to those in need due to Hurricane Sandy.  Please help if you are able, even the smallest of amounts add up to someone being able to eat or have warm clothes.

American Red Cross

Ali Forney Center Housing for Homeless GLBT Youth

ASPCA

Humane Society of the United States

Now turning to books, I have some wonderful books for you this week, including the latest from Andrea Speed, Megan Derr, and Marguerite Labbe.  In particular, I wanted to talk about books labeled bittersweet.  I think most people see that tag and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction and miss out on some marvelous books.  Two in particular come to mind.  One is Rodney Ross’ The Cool Park of His Pillow.  This is absolutely one of my top books for 2012.  It does contains sadness and pain as it charts one man’s recovery from the death of his long term partner. But there is also so much joy, humor and love that it would be shameful to label it bittersweet as it is so much more than that limiting tag.  I feel the same way about Ghost in the Wind, the latest from Marguerite Labbe.  This story has a definite supernatural bent to it as it concerns the death of a man’s long term partner but in this case the man is murdered and his ghost returns to help his partner move on as well as solve a mystery.  Here the grief is palpable, the murder shocking and the suspense agonizing.  Dreamspinner Press calls it a Bittersweet Dream. Sigh.  I can almost hear the rejections on the wind.  Again, definitely not so.  Don’t miss this wonderful book either.  It’s painful, joyous, suspenseful, and full of boundless love.  I have the latest in the Infected series (darn you, Andrea Speed!!!) and a book from KA Mitchell that is not receiving the attention I think it is due.   So fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a wild ride of a week:

Monday:                       Chaos (Lost Gods #5) by Megan Derr

Tuesday:                       Ghost in the Wind by Marguerite Labbe

Wednesday:                 Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne and Marie Sexton

Thursday:                     But My Boyfriend Is by KA Mitchell

Friday:                          Splintered Lies by Diane Adams and RJ Scott

Saturday:                      Bloggers Choice

So that’s the week unless something changes.  Happy reading!

Review of Back To Hell (Hellbourne #4) by Amber Kell

Rating: 3 stars

Luc Hellbourne, son of Lucifer, is trying to settle down with his wolf shifter mate Bran after the problems with his dad and Bran’s old pack.  But a calm life is something Luc has never had experience with and it looks like it’s not going to happen now either.  Luc’s crazy brother Galthine has imprisoned their father Lucifer in one of Hell’s lower levels and is taking over Hell. Their uncle, the Archangel Michael wants Luc to go rescue his father.  And Luc’s vampire soul mate is starving to death. And why is everyone blaming Luc for all the problems and upsetting the balance of goodness and evil? Well perhaps Luc did upset the hellish apple cart but Luc continues to refuse to get involved until his brother goes too far and kidnaps his lover Bran.  Then all bets are off as Luc Hellbourne lives up to his name.

This is the fourth book in the Hellbourne series and if the reader is unfamiliar with the previous stories, this one will  not make any sense.  Amber Kell always manages to pack a lot of characters and plot lines in a small amount of space.Iin this case  Back to Hell is only 80 pages long so once you start reading the action starts to fly and events happen rapidly.  There are so many characters  to keep track of (Stiln a one-eyed demon? Sal a werewolf, Blinok a demonic messenger, a werewolf slut named Betsy and many more) and sometimes it is not always clear what are the relationships between the characters or even who they are.  The dialog tends towards the campy and humorous with the voices all sounding much the same. Typical of  this story is the scene where one of Luc’s demon and his vampires are chasing each other around the kitchen tossing soap bubbles, they stop, Luc asks if they are having fun.  They nod. He goes off to look at his computer and they go back to playing.

That’s pretty much how the story goes.  It’s light, fluffy and pretty simple minded.  If you are looking for complex characters and an intricate plot to book, then this is not the book for you.  If you love Amber Kell, then you are familiar with her style of writing and the lack of depth in every element, then you will like this one too.  At 80 pages, it is a quick read and the m/m/m ending should satisfy the readers of the first three stories. As for me I found this to be more of a story outline than a story itself and think I will leave it at that.

Beautiful cover by Posh Gosh.

Riptide’s Publishing Disaster Relief Effort for Victims of Hurricane Sandy

From November 3rd to November 10th, Riptide Publishing is donating the 25% of all proceeds onsite to assist in the recovery from Hurricane Sandy.  If you have waited to pick up any of their releases, now is the time to do it.  Maybe you missed the latest in the Cut & Run series Stars & Stripes or The Gravedigger’s Brawl from Abigail Roux or need to pick up Heidi Cullinan’s latest Tucker Springs novel, Dirty Laundry.  Or are you overdue to go all gladiator for the latest books in the Rome series.  Whatever the genre, make your purchase go further than just your reading enjoyment, let it provide much needed help for those affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Go to Riptide Publishing’s website this week, purchase one or more books and go Red, as in Red Cross.  You won’t be sorry.  Here is the link for Riptide Publishing.  There are a gazillion (almost)  title to choose from and from a remarkable array of authors. Here are a few of the ones I have reviewed that you might have missed:

Read my review of Stars & Stripes  by Abigail Roux here, read my review of Country Mouse by Amy Lane and Aleksandr Voinov here

Read my review of The Gravedigger’s Brawl by Abigail Roux here. Read Frat Boy and Toppy by Anne Tenino here. Read my review of Blacker Than Black by Rhi Etzweiler here .

Read my review of Second Hand by Heidi Cullinan here and all of the Josh of the Damned series by Andrea Speed, starting with Pretty Monsters here.  

Hurricane Sandy Relief Organizations, Donations, Plus the Week Ahead in Reviews!

Brrrrrr, it’s gotten cold here in Maryland.  While most of Maryland got very lucky with respect to Hurricane Sandy, she brought the artic air from Canada down with her swirling air masses so we have 3 ft of snow in Western Maryland and our ski resorts are very  happy indeed to get a jump on the season. Our fall ended with the roar of winds and rain as the remaining autumn color fell with the torrential rains.  We might actually have a real winter once more. And looking at all the fallen leaves and branches, I am reminded that people not that far away desperately need our help.

My thoughts and hopes go out to all those in need in New York and New Jersey.  The devastation is unbelievable and Hurricane Sandy’s impact on human lives continues to widen along with the death tole.  There are several reputable organizations that are accepting donations to the Hurricane Sandy relief effort.  The Red Cross is one of them.  The American Humane Society is another.  I have a list below that will link you directly to the organizations accepting donations.

One close to my heart is the Ali Forney Center for housing homeless GLBTQ youth in NYC.  It was badly damaged. Here is the link.  Every dollar counts.  If you can spare $1 or $5, everything is needed, everything helps. However you can help, even if it is just re-tweeting the call for donations, all assistance is appreciated and direly needed.

Red Cross

Ali Forney Center  Housing for Homeless for GLBTW Youth

ASPCA

Humane Society of the United States

So, turning away from the subject above, here are the books I am reviewing for the upcoming week.  Don’t be surprised if I throw in some extras. Without further ado:

Monday   11/5/2012:                         How To Raise An Honest Rabbit by Amy Lane

Tuesday   11/6/2012:                         One True Thing by Piper Vaughn and MJ O’Shea

Wed.         11/7/2012:                         But For You by Mary Calmes

Thursday 11/8/2012:                         Ralston’s Way by Talia Carmichael

Friday      11/9/2012:                          Long Hard Ride by Talia Carmichael

Sat.           11/10/2012:                        Back To Hell by Amber Kell, Whispered Secrets and Hidden Eyes by Amylea Lyn

Review of Making Contact Anthology

Rating:  4.25 – 4.5 stars

Space, the final frontier, as a certain well known Federation Captain would say on his 5-year mission into space, has always consumed our thoughts and dreams.  We have always wanted to know what is out there, its vastness and mystery ever present.  All we need to do is look up to be faced with the unknown. How will we get there and what or whom will we meet once we do are questions innumerable authors have tried to answer in poems, movies, stories and graphic novels. Making Contact is a new science fiction anthology from Dreamspinner Press that examines some of those questions along with what type of love will be found among the stars?

Making Contact gives us ten stories by eight authors.  The stories range from aliens attempting to “fit it=n” among the human inhabitants when they arrive on Earth, humans trying to live in isolation on a lonely outpost, intergalactic conflicts among the races, an alien drunk tank and pirates in space.  There is humor, mystery, heartbreak, and a swashbuckling yarn of space pirates and derring do.

I found this to be a really strong anthology and the variety of stories and themes keep me glued to the Kindle one after another.  Don’t expect cohesion other than the fact that they fall under the science fiction m/m banner.  Just a look at the authors represented should tell you that their visions of space are as unique as they are.  Their narratives explore space from so many different perspectives.  The first story, Better Than Cola by JL Merrow is the only one to feature an alien so far removed from the humanoid mold that the author had to come up with an equally alien method of sexual exchange.  I loved this story as it left me with more questions running around my head than was answered.  Some of the aliens are recognizable in form that the authors have put their own twist to, aliens with fur, aliens with different skins tones and facial markings, and even a new take on vampires in space that will break your heart as it did mine.

Normally when I review anthologies, I only mention the stories I loved.  In Making Contact, that includes them all in varying degrees.  Here they are in the order they appear in the book.

Better Than Cola By JL Merrow

Newly arrived on Earth to work in the Melliti embassy, Summer Storms meets Nathan Chambers, who is tasked with teaching the alien visitor how to deal with human social interaction. The thrill of casual touch exposes an immediate attraction between them, but how far can intimacy go between two totally different life forms?

JL Merrow has done a fantastic job of giving us an alien so far removed from us but still one whose thoughts and emotions can stir attraction in another.  Summer Storms is a plurality of beings contained inside a “human shaped envelope”.  They have to adjust themselves to casual human touch and the way in which their “envelope” reacts to the human sent to help them deal with interspecies interaction.  This story has so much charm while still being sexy and alien.  Merrow left me wanting to know more about their physiology and culture while giving me a satisfactory glimpse into the unknown.

Revolving Realities By Cari Z.

Dr. Eliot Hollister is desperate to locate the Ulysses and her crew before tragedy strikes… again. The lone survivor of a hostile attack compounded by human error, Eliot is using an alien artifact to search through alternate realities, trying to change the outcome in a parallel dimension. Eliot’s challenge once he finds the ship? Convince Captain Paul Alvarez he’s for real before the Ulysses falls prey to the same trap.

Cari Z brings alternate universes into play with her story of a lone survivor grabbing as a last chance to save his lover from death, even if it is not his actual lover, but the man he is in another universe.  Wonderful characterizations play off against time as Eliot tries to stop the scenario from playing out again in the new universe but runs up against the same scientist hell bent on exploring the world  beneath them.  His frustrations become ours because we know what will happen if he can’t stop the mission.  My only quibble is that it ended too soon.

The Sacrifice By Sue Brown

After twelve years, the leaders of the Free Worlds have finally found a man willing to sacrifice his life to the gods of Segelian to ensure an alliance with the mineral-rich planet. But when Stane raises the dagger to perform the rite, he looks into the human Steven’s eyes and is horrified to discover he is destined to kill his life partner. If Stane doesn’t complete the ritual, it will destroy any chance for a treaty… and it might also change the world of Segelian forever.

Sue Brown uses two worlds, one homophobic (human), one a male/male warrior culture and the extended war between them that will end with a human sacrifice.  She does a nice job of world building including a world divided by religious caste and the warrior caste and makes us believe it. I loved Stane and Steven however implausible the final intervention.

Alone By Andrea Speed

Scientist Logan Murakami doesn’t have much to keep him company during his lonely vigil at Outpost Proserpina. But he knew that going in, and it’s the perfect place to focus solely on his work: a neuro-optical interface that would be the perfect engine for artificial intelligence… an intelligence that Logan hopes is taking on a life of its own.

What I loved most about this story is that it plays out internally in the mind of Logan Murakami.  Solitude and remoteness are definitely two of the factors to be considered when talking about space travel.  How to achieve it, do we need a base of operations to extend our exploration? And what type of person will be able to handle those conditions?  All compelling questions that need viable answers and Speed attempts to provide some of them in the person of Logan Murakami.  Raised in isolation in Alaska and solitary by nature, he unexpectedly ends up alone at the outpost and uses this time to perfect his neuro-optical interface with the goal of  having it attain intelligence.  What happens exceeds his expectations and gives him something so much more. Just outstanding.

Losing Sight of the Shore By Emily Moreton

Secondary communications officer Jay is assigned to a boarding crew when the Hydra discovers a seemingly abandoned, powerless ship floating in space. While exploring the derelict ship, Jay finds a barely conscious man with purple skin and silver eyes. After surviving a raider attack, Felix is understandably afraid to let Jay go—even when cultural differences threaten to stop any contact between them.

Moreton gives us romance in space that emerges from survivors of an attack upon their ship.  I liked the romance even if I wanted a little more of the alien culture and history of the purple skinned people living in ships among the stars.  I got some lovely bits of characterization from Jay and the other members of the crew, I just wish I felt I got the same result from the aliens.  A really sweet story that could have been fleshed out a little more to make it absolutely terrific.

Gifted in Tongues By JL Merrow

After inadvertently outraging local sensibilities, space pilot Torvald “Spitz” Spitzbergen faces a five-year stretch in a Lacertilian jail. His only consolation is trading insults with his cellmate, Tao, a six-foot libidinous Felid. But Tao seems to have a distinctly fuzzy understanding of the difference between fighting and foreplay…

Merrow gives us an alien drunk tank!  How could you not love this?  Spitz seems like the very type to get his drunk on, outrage the locals, and be very surprised to find himself with the remains of a hangover, two very different cell mates and the worst morning after he has had in a while.  I chuckled throughout this story, Merrow’s  descriptions painting the scene so perfectly that I had no problems picturing it all as it happens.  Cracked me up, made me blush, and left me wanting more.   Now if only I can talk the author into bringing Spitz and Tao  back for further adventures.  Pretty please?

Analytic Geometry By Andi Deacon

Kevin Ikoro has an incredible opportunity: his boss at Helix Multicorp wants an analyst’s view of how the corporation’s Exploration division works, and Kevin is now a member of explorer team Alpha 3IG. His teammates, a set of brilliant twins named Cameron and Theo Banark, are fascinating, and Kevin finds himself harboring a serious case of lust for Cameron. But exploration is unpredictable, and his teammates may not be what they seem. The shortest distance between two bodies isn’t always a straight line.

Another neat story full of twists that added dimension and depth to this little space gem.  I don’t want to go into this except that I loved the characters where the attraction of the mind trumps attraction of the body.  Sexy, humorous and with a little bit of mystery thrown in. Again the characters that Deacon creates here are so terrific, so unique that as the end I wanted so much more.  The surprise alone is worth the story but it is the family that is forming that captures my interest, imagination and heart. Just a great job.

The Monsters Below By Lyn Gala

Brai’s never dreamed of fighting the monstrous sub-humans who infest Kestia, but when his lover joins the service, Brai does what he always does… he follows. Then Rick is lost on his first mission, and Brai is left alone in a murderous rage. Now on his own first mission gone terribly wrong, Brai has his chance to get back at the monsters for killing Rick—only the government hasn’t been honest about the nature of the enemy, and Brai might find that the caves hide a secret that could change his life.

I was not prepared for the heartbreak that is this story.  Lyn Gala gives us an intense, knuckle biter of an update of vampires in space and makes it hurt even as the characters bleed out and die.  Again for me to go into detail would ruin it but Gala’s characters are beautifully realized and the situation they find themselves in so dire that our hearts and minds are caught up in their plight immediately.  This story kept me up and thinking into the wee hours of the morning.

Feral By K.R. Foster

Desperate to end a war, the king of the Lunar Pryde agrees to submit one of his offspring to mate with a member of the Sol Pryde royal line. Cynfael, prince of the Lunar Pryde, fled the planet six months ago searching for freedom, and nothing could convince him to return… except his father’s threat to marry off Cynfael’s twelve-year-old sister Adara. After fighting for freedom his entire life, Cynfael must return to Starion to face his unknown mate and an equally unknown future.

What is it about felids or specifically felids that walk upright with many of the same emotions and thoughts of humans that captures our imagination so?  I kept running across so many of them from author after author and genre after genre. Still, I end of loving them all. Feral is Foster’s newest addition to felids in space. Cynfael is another prince being forced to wed the son of warring royal line and bring peace to the planet they inhabit.  There are so many nice touches here from Cynfael’s ability to communicate with the planet to a comb made of filed down teeth that I wanted an extended version to fill in the gaps left by the story.  We are left in the dark about the loss of Cynfael’s mother, the war ongoing, the purity of his genes (does it relate to his color?) and so much more. A little more volume was needed to add layers to an intriguing tale.

Ganymede’s Honor By Cornelia Grey

Colonel Ardeth Connor has been rescued from death, but he’s not sure his new life is any better: he’s effectively trapped aboard a rebel ship that defies the Federation to collect ice meteors, stealing life-sustaining water for the poorest of planets and asteroids. As an anonymous part of Captain Gabriel’s crew, Ardeth is biding his time until he can escape… and learning there’s more to space than just the Federation.

This story reminded me so much of an interview I just saw with an astrophysicist.  She was talking about space travel, space ships and the Tardis. Ok, yes, I am a geek.  I make no bones about it.  She was talking about the fact that our modes of transportation in space didn’t need to be those sleek versions that populate the page and  movie screen, that we could travel about in something as funky as a phone booth or a Rubic’s Cube.  On in this case, a space galleon similar to those that rode the waves way back when.  I loved this story.  It left me smiling for hours just picturing the Ganymede under her solar sails in search of meteorites to capture.  Cornelia Grey’s story gives us pirates in space or should that be rebels in space and turns it into a swashbuckling story of love, sexy rebel captains who shouts to his crew ‘Unwind those cables, bunch of useless yobs!” as they prepare to harpoon a ice meteoroid out of a swarm, and his crew man the sails and chains as the ship rockets under them.  What a scene, what a crew!  It got the blood boiling, the eyes wild, the heart pounding…..oh how I wanted to be on the ship with them and maybe snuggled up against Ardeth and Gabriel, just saying.  I do have a thing for his tats.

And just the idea of a galleon sailing through space, the stars all around her…that’s magic right there.  Grey’s story hit a lot of my buttons and left me cheering the crew on to great glory and many more stories.  I feel much the same about every author here with their diverse take on space and making contact.  I loved their stories, I wanted more of their aliens and human interaction.  I hope this spawns even more novels featuring the being that made me laugh, made me cry and made me exult that space means no boundaries of any sort.  No boundaries to the imagination and no boundaries as to who we can love and be loved by in return.  More please. Much, much more.  Engage.

Cover art by Analise Dubner, cover design by Mara McKennen.  Love the cover, great colors and a catchy design.

VGB Looks at When Talking Dirty Makes You Giggle or Spank Me Harder, Bunny Poo!

Note: Let’s just agree that this column is for mature audiences only shall we? If you continue reading, you are clearly over the age of 18 and don’t need your parents approval. We are serious, people! Words used in the most despicable manner is no laughing matter!!! Ok, well it is a laughing matter or we wouldn’t be here. Getting off course again. Sigh.

 It’s been a while since our last get together and you can chalk that up to the quality of the books I have been reading lately.  While they have run the gamut from middling fair to absolutely splendid, very few have fallen into the rainbow skittle of passionate prose that gets me going in eye blinking disbelief.  That choice of words worthy of a double take or three, the “oh no she/he didn’t” selection that begs the question “why, oh why did he say that?” It’s the mesmerizing moment you realize that someone actually put those words in a sentence in a paragraph on a page in a story that halts you in your tracks. But this particular topic has been running around my head  like a gerbil on a  squeaky wheel for a while now just waiting for something or some word to prod it into action. And a recent novella did just that. It shocked that gerbil into an all out sprint and here we are examining what makes some dirty talk sexy and others hysterical.

I realize that bed talk can be subjective.  What turns one person into a puddle of  goo sends another into paroxysms of hilarity or worse delivers a veritable cold shower to any sexy thoughts or actions that up until then had been looking pretty darn promising.  I get that, really I do! We have the school of “Harder, faster, deeper, there, fuck meeeeee  ” dirty talk.  Short bursts of words that spit forth from a participant’s mouth in the midst of a flurry of physical activity often imagining the verbal directions being given.  I find this can be really sexy if done right.  Say the author has written this vividly described sex scenes and the men are having at it in all ways sweaty and real.  Throw those words in to make the men frantic in their need for each other.  I get it (and so do they if they are lucky).  Done well, I find it to be very effective *waves a fan*.  But add a word or too, and hilarity replaces sexy in a heartbeat.  Example: ” Yeah, do it, do it harder. Fuck me with your big, hairy sausage, boo boo Daddy!” *cough, cough, cough* Sexy turns into spew event and the ambience is gone.

You can also find the “Give it to me now, I want it all, I can take it, make me want it, pound me into the mattress” format.  I call this type  the Drill Master of Smut Talk.  The person, could be a bossy bottom or someone topping from the bottom, is letting the other person know exactly what is expected here and woe to that person if they don’t deliver.  Again, in the right hands *snort*, this can turn up the heat and be informative, all at the same time. You get the how, when and where and a lesson on how to communicate better in bed.  What’s not to love?  Everyone’s a winner!

Some people despise the lack of pronouns from a partner in passion. For these lovers of all things proper and sentence structure, it ‘s all about syntax and semantics. Doesn’t that sentence  just make you quiver?  They shudder (and not in a good way) at “need you, want you, touch me, fuck me”, for those persons complete grammar is required. Who exactly “needs” what? And where do they “need” it?  I can see some frenzied folk getting confused.  Throw out that “fill me, fuck me”, and replace it with “Oh, I need you now, Alphonse.  Please take me to bed post haste, and have your wanton way with my beauteous form, you magnificent bastard.”  That just might be all some need to pole vault into the four poster, all sweaty and raring to have at it.

Others find certain proper nouns a complete turn off.  “Take it slut! You like a big thing up your hole.” Yep, the word causing a heap of “bleck” would be slut, although I do have problems with that entire sentence.  Whore, Daddy, boy, slut are terms that either delight or disgust when used in bed.  Papi was another. It’s almost fifty fifty with people coming (hah) down on one side or the other.  Personally?  Not big on the slut thing, but I won’t mark a book down for it when it comes to the review. If it works for the character, then it works for me.

Then we get to the sounds.  You know what I mean.  Two or more men are having a splendid time writhing about in as many positions possible.  And instead of words, it’s animalistic sounds urging them on to greater highs of sexual heat and prowess.  They moan, they groan, they growl and roar, purr and whimper.  Whew! *waves the fan madly* I am all about the animal sounds, love them in fact.  Except when the mewl turns into a mew, and I start to wonder where the kitties are hidden.  Some men apparently even “chirp” in  bed.  Huh. Hard to picture that one.  Bird fetish perhaps to go along with the whinny?

What doesn’t work? Stilted comments or comments so fatuous that just reading them makes me laugh out loud, never a good thing when the author is going for hot and heavy.  Take this sentence. “Mmm, can’t wait”—Randy lay sprawled on the bed—“to feel that dick of yours stretching my channel.” Again “Stretch my channel, stretch my channel.”  Umm, does that strike anyone as sexy? How about two idiots and a gun? Here they are  covered with lube,“The safety is on, babe! We’ll play a little more with that later. Right now, I wanna pump your ass full of my lead.”  Or perhaps it’s the would-be astronauts, where Rick wants Lance to “ride my pocket rocket into the stars”. And then for me the giggles start. I always want the author to take the time to say those phrases out loud, to take them around the verbal block so to speak.  If it sounds funny when saying it, the chances are pretty good it is going to read that way too.  I’m trying to be helpful here, folks!

Who knew talking dirty could be so funny? Well Jade Buchanen for one. Thank you, Tam, for this one:

From Jade Buchanan’s Del Fantasma: Duck Fart

“Drake let Bailey go just far enough to look at the other man. He wanted to hear more spilling from Bailey’s lips. “Come on, talk dirty to me, baby.”

A look of panic crossed Bailey’s face. Drake hid his grin. This should be fun.

“Uh…I want you to put your alligator in my love tunnel?”

Eyes wide, Drake started to choke. He could barely breathe, bent over the steering wheel now, laughing so hard his belly hurt.”

From hot to hurl, from sexy to snigger, dirty talk provides us with memorable moments in stories, from wonderfully realistic sexy scenes to the WTF smut verbalizations of a hominid in heat.  Authors, before you write it, say it, try it out!  Ask around, find out what real people are really saying or yelling as it were.  It might amaze you to find out what you think works in bed is far more suitable to Barnum and Bailey’s Circus or Cirque de Soleil than to two or more people getting their lust on.

If not, then your characters might just end up saying something like ” “I want you to stuff your massive demon cock in my tight, waiting hole.” Thank you, Julia, for that little gem.  And if they do, the chances are they might just end up being featured in a  Vocabulary Gone Bad.  I’m reading away, people, gobbling up page after page.  You’ve been forewarned and now it’s up to you.  If your characters “want it, need it, hurts so bad, Bunny Poo”, make sure its as sexy as you think it sounds, or the giggling you hear might be mine.

Review of Forever May Not Be Long Enough (Legends of the Romanorum #3) by Mychael Black and Shayne Carmichael

Rating: 4.25 stars

Mael Black and his consort, Cian, are busy with their responsibilities and their plan to bring a son with their joined blood into their lives. The fact that Mael Black is the Vampire Prince of London and Cian, a vampire hunting angel, makes their combined duties that much more complicated.  The vampires under Mael’s rule are unhappy with his choice of consort as is his father, the powerful Lord Nigel.   And while Cian no longer hunts vampires, sometimes his very nature can cause misunderstandings in their relationship as Cian is still trying to figure out what it means to be human.

A messenger brings a summons from the court in Rome.  An ancient force is awake and coming to destroy the Romanorum and with it all that Mael and Cian hold dear. When their plans for a son is revealed to Nigel, he plots to separate his son from Cian by any means possible, including death.  With court intrigue, mysterious were deaths, and  unexpected betrayals to deal with as well as the new threat, it will take Mael, Cian, along with a contingent of gods, vampires, and angels to combat the ancient evil and save their world.

It’s been four years since the last book, And Two Shall Become One (Legends of the Romanorum #2) was published and I had forgotten how much I had loved Mael Black and Cian.  And now with Forever May Not Be Long Enough (Legends of the Romanorum #3), their saga is finally over, although other couples in the series look to be getting their own books.  Here, the authors have given Mael and Cian a wonderful sendoff that left me happily satisfied and looking forward to more.

The premise of the series hooked me in from the very start.  You have a vampire Prince and a vampire killing Angel attracted to each other when by their very natures they should be deadly enemies. The first book covers their unconventional  romance from the beginning, where we see the emotional turmoil and mental anguish their feelings bring.  The second book in series sees their relationship continue to deepen as Mael announces to the court that Cian is now his consort and the consequences of that decision. Now they are an established couple but still discovering parts of each other previously unknown.  Cian is a 3,000 year old angel who is still trying to figure out what it means to be human and that includes jealousy.  Mael understands human nature but has not seen what a angry Angel can mean.  I love the fact that Black and Carmichael take the issues that might pop up as a couple navigates a new relationship and applies it to a new couple with diametrically opposed natures. And does a great job with it.  Yes, Mael and Cian are busy with their jobs that they forget to make time for each other.  Typical issue.  But Cian is Mael’s ghoul and needs to feed from him, not so typical. Mael needs to understand that Cian accepts his job as Prince and understand the pressures he is under. Typical.  That is job contains meeting with were rulers and messages from the devil, not so typical. And so on.  Typical relationship ramped up to nth degree.

The characterizations here are wonderful, full of beings is it easy to love.  In fact Cornelius, court sorcerer, and Brandon, a young vampire rescued off the streets almost stole the second book away from the two main characters, they were that special and endearing in every way.  For those of you who loved them as I did, both Cornelius and Brandon appear here as well.  Another couple starts a relationship here that I suspect will continue, along with Cornelius and Brandon, in other books.  In fact, I would say the problem here is that there is a surfeit of great characters and couples all striving for the readers attention.  Along with the couples already mentioned, back from previous books are Michael and Selena, Dio and Josh,  and so many others that it becomes hard to remember who is paired up and what their backstory is.  An abundance of wealth that could have been spread over additional pages or another story.  Then start throwing in Egyptian gods, Lucifer, werewolves, and the cast inflates almost more than the story can handle.

And that comes back to my final quibble.  If you have not read the first two books, you will be a little baffled once you start reading this book as the backstories and character development is contained in the previous stories . It is taken for granted that the reader is familiar with the convoluted plot lines and familial connections here.  This is a richly layered saga.  Coming in on it cold is definitely not recommended.  Start from the beginning.  Watch the relationship happen.  Weep and shout for joy during the second book. Come to love the characters as I did and then pick up this book.  You won’t be sorry. And now I will wait to see which couple gets the next book.  I hope it won’t be another four years before I find out.

Books in the series, in the order they were  written and should be read:

The Prince’s Angel (Legends of the Romanorum #1) Rating: 4 stars

And Two Shall Become One (Legends of the Romanorum #2) Rating: 4.5 stars

Forever May Not Be Long Enough (Legends of the Romanorum #3) Rating: 4.25 stars

Cover:  Gorgeous cover by Alessia Brio

Olympics Addiction Continues, the week ahead in Reviews and a new Summer Cocktail

It’s August, it’s hot and dry here in Maryland.  Normal right?  Well, except for the 100 degree days, but the dryness?  That’s becoming typical too.  We are down about 8 inches here from our normal rainfall, but compared to some of the other states now experiencing record drought conditions, that is nothing.  As we hear of farmers and ranchers selling off stock they can’t feed and the Mississippi is down 20 ft in places,  along with Lake Michigan recording a water temperature in the 90’s,  I think Maryland is getting off easy comparatively speaking.  But we will feel it, make no doubt about it.  Higher food prices, higher costs in transportation, we are all woven together.  A small ripple here becomes a tidal wave there.

So I would like to think that the Olympics in Great Britain are generating tidal waves of good feelings that are crashing upon the shores of many nations.  I love watching athletes from all over the world competing and (mostly, what was with those badminton teams?) giving it their best.  Did you see that rower from Niger?  Never been in a boat, never rowed  before, came in dead last and grinned like crazy! And then there is Michael Phelps putting on a show of remarkable  physical ability, great team spirit and a happiness that I will remember for some time to come.  So many wonderful moments this week from the women competing whether it was gymnastics, swimming, Judo, weightlifting, or women in head scarves running like the wind.  I am just glued to my set and don’t see that changing until the very last whistle is blown and the torch goes out.  How about you?  Are you watching?

So this is what I have been reading in between watching the Olympics:

Monday:                       The Druid Stone by Heidi Belleau and Violetta Vane

Tuesday:                        When Forever May Not Be Long Enough by Mychael Black and Shayne Carmichael

Wednesday:                  The Florist by Serena Yates

Thursday:                       Priceless by M.A. Church

Friday:                            Suicide Point by Georgie Leigh

Saturday:                        Brook Street: Thief by Ava March

Now on to this Sunday’s Feature Cocktail.  In a nod to the British Olympics, here is the recipe for a Pimm’s Cup.  This recipe is  for one drink. Make as many as you like!

 

 

 

 

 

Pimm’s Cup Ingredients:

About 1 cup ice cubes
1/4 cup (2 ounces) Pimm’s No. 1
6 tablespoons (3 ounces) ginger beer or ginger ale
1 cucumber slice
1 sprig fresh mint (5 to 6 leaves)
Directions:

Fill highball glass with ice. Add Pimm’s, then top with ginger beer, garnish with cucumber slice and mint sprig, and serve.

Now I am off to watch the Olympics and finish Megan Derr’s Poison, the 4th book in the Lost Gods series.

The Olympics, the Week Ahead in Reviews and a Milky Way Martini That’s Out Of This World

So things are happening all around this coming week.  I have been glued to the Olympics in London along with millions of others and that opening night still has me thinking.  Words like stupendous, mystifying, amusing, and outright flabbergasted swirled in my head as the spectacle  unfolded.  Loved the symbolism of the Oak Tree on Glastonbury Tor but wondered how many people went “huh”.  The Industrial Revolution and the molten river was very cool.  And who doesn’t love Kenneth Branagh reading a passage from The Tempest? Hmmm…dancing doctors and nurses, and hospital beds for the NHS?  I am told it is a “veddy British” thing and it must be as that and the “creepy” big baby had me stymied! Mr. Bean had me in stitches from first sight right thru his Chariots of Fire run. I will pass over the digital revolution.  I loved, loved the songs!  Singing my heart out along with them.  But was it only me that it seemed as though I was watching people watch a large tv on tv?  Don’t know.  Maybe it was just getting late at night.  Then came that eye opening, yelling for others to come see, smashing tour de force at the end. Wow! From the torch arriving with David Beckham (scream of joy) on a fast moving boat to the young athletes acknowledging and saluting their past, the older Olympians, to the lighting of the Olympic Flame (so incredible).  Then it is all topped off by Sir Paul and Hey Jude singalong.   Let me just say I was a totally happy camper when the lights finally went off.  And how great was Her Majesty and her corgis, even the fat one?

So I am watching the events this week and with the permanent generator being installed, yes a permanent generator, on Monday.  “Take that Pepco!  I should send you the bill.”  We are assured of a constant stream of power.  A great thing really considering the storms that arrive every night, bringing hail, high winds, and torrential rain to some parts of the  area, we just never know where it will hit.  So happy dance on Monday, might even post of pic!  And no problems getting my posts up – knock on wood.  So to the tune of the Olympics theme, here’s the lineup this week:

Monday:                                Reaping Shadows by Jamieson Wolf

Tuesday:                                The Man Trap by Lee Brazil

Wednesday:                          The Trust by Shira Anthony and Verona Keyes

Thursday:                              Three Fates Anthology by Andrew Grey, Mary Calmes and Amy Lane

Friday:                                    A Foreign Range by Andrew Grey

Saturday:                               Hired Muscle by Hank Edwards

So we are still trying different cocktails to entertain with and break the heat.  Today we are going into outer space for The Galaxy also known as The Milky Way:

Ingredients:

* 1 1/2 cups ice cubes
* 1/4 cup cold water
* 2 fluid ounces vanilla-flavored vodka
* 2 fluid ounces white Creme de Cacao
* 2 fluid ounces irish cream liqueur
* 1 tablespoon chocolate syrup
How to make it

Chill a martini glass by filling it with 1/2 cup of ice and cold water.
Place 1 cup of ice cubes into a cocktail shaker. Pour the vanilla-flavored vodka, white creme de cacao, and Irish cream liqueur over the ice; cover and shake vigorously. Dump the ice and water from the martini glass and drizzle the inside of the glass with chocolate syrup. Strain the cocktail into the glass to serve.