Barb, A Zany Old Lady Review: Butt Riders on the Range by Kage Alan, JP Barnaby, Ally Blue, TC Blue, Shae Connor, Jevocas Green, Kiernan Kelly, and Eden Winters

Rating: 3.25 stars out of 5:

Butt Riders on the Range coverThis is the third “Butt” anthology I’ve read, and I expected it to be the best because there’s nothing sexier than a cowboy, IMHO. However, I didn’t like it nearly as much as the other anthologies produced by these authors, and there were very few stories that I would rank as high as any of the authors’ previous works. In some cases, it felt as if the author was just putting words together to meet the loose outline of the anthology, then maybe throw in a cowboy here and there, mix ’em up and pop out an adequate story.

Hung Like a Horse by JP Barnaby
The first story in the anthology was a sweet story about a horse shifter, with a different twist— when he shifted, the ectoplasm exploded out of him. Theoretically, it makes sense that when he went from a large horse to a smaller man, there would be extra body mass so I liked that idea. Another interesting twist is that the change was forced when his protein levels reached deficiency, and let’s face it— horses aren’t carnivores so he couldn’t stay as a horse without shifting to meet that need. Riley, the shifter, was rescued by the ranch owner who is also a horse shifter and knew what Riley was. He was waiting for Riley to shift to a man so that he could help him. Fortunately, there was an attraction between the two, and the story ended with a promise for a hopeful future. 4 stars

Chinchilla Chimichangas by Kage Alan
I disliked this story. It’s told mostly from the POV of a wannabe author, Chris, who has constant voices in his head— voices of the characters Miss Tis and Miss Kiernan. I found it very annoying with the switches from Chris speaking or thinking, to having the voices in his head speak. The plot was quite juvenile as well. Chris is taking a bus trip to throw his dad’s ashes in the Pacific behind the Hotel del Coronado, the place he had always wanted to take Chris’s mother on their honeymoon. The bus is stranded in an Oklahoma town during a storm, and Chris ends up going home with a young man who reminds him of Dustin, the hero in the story he’s writing. They have sex, fall in love, and part with a promise to get together after Chris completes his mission. 2 stars

Squatting with Spurs On by Kiernan Kelly
This was a cute little ghost story about a young man who inherits a haunted house only to find out that the ghost was his lover before he died a hundred years ago. It was a nice twist on time travel and paranormal activity mixed with a healthy dose of romance and everlasting love. 3.5 stars

Faux Cowboy by Shae Connor
When Doug shows up at a western-style gay bar in New York City, he’s happy to see that there seems to be another cowboy just like him in the bar. When they get to know each other, they decide to go dancing and after one thing leads to another, they spend a hot night together. The next morning, truth comes calling and the guys find out that they weren’t quite honest with each other, but since they’re in the very early stages of a relationship, they decide to forgive and forget and move forward toward a possible future together. 3.5 stars

Hooves and Horns by Eden Winters
This was a cute and humorous shifter story about two rodeo cowboys, both of whom are shifters. One is the famous bull, Diablo, and the other is the famous bucking bronco, Greased Lightning. Lovers, then adversaries, the bronco, aka Kerry, is jealous because Diablo, aka Armando, was seen hanging with other bulls in the off-season, and Kelsey thought he had cheated. But once Armando can pin Kerry down and explain, all is finally well, and they have their HEA. 3 stars

The Boy from Battalion Bluff by Jevocas Green
I saw this one as little more than PWP. It’s the story of an irresistible guy in the Old West that locals call Dr. Feel-Good. He gets all over town on any given day to make people feel good by having sex with him. He overlooks young Toby the stable boy, but Toby wants him and goes after him just as they all find out that he’s not what he seems. He’s really an alien prince, and he never gets pleasure from sex unless it’s with his true mate. His betrothed, Tyler, shows up to take him home, and while Tyler’s trying to prove his worth by having sex with Johnen (Dr Feel-Good), Toby interrupts and Johnen invites him to participate. Lo and behold, Toby is his true mate. Once that’s settled, they all go back to the home planet and live happily ever after. 2 stars

The Five Hells War by Allly Blue
In this story, an attorney named Balthazar Shellenbarger comes to a remote planet, very reminiscent of an Old West town, to represent Cavendish Farms, a large company that wants to buy Five Hells Ranch from Salvador “Rocky” Flint. The ranch is the only piece of property that Cavendish hasn’t taken over in their plan to have a monopoly on boomer meat. Boomers are considered a delicacy and are a protected species on this planet that is the only place in the universe that supports their life form. This is the final offer— if Rocky doesn’t sell, they are going to get the place somehow. But what happens instead is a romance between “Balty” and Rocky and it’s one of the better stories in the book. Balty is so impressed with Rocky and his heritage and his love of the land that he decides to stay and help fight the conglomerate. Together they’ll defeat the bad guys and go on to live their HEA. 4 stars

And the Horse He Rode In On byTC Blue
This is a great story about a leopard shifter caught killing lambs on a sheep farm– a farm that happens to be owned by a horse shifter who catches him and kicks him in the head. The resulting shift back to his human form is a shock to both men and when the leopard, Jason, finds out that the “battle pony” who kicked him in the head is Tyler, the good-looking man who owns the ranch, he’s intrigued. He’s never been a part of a Pard, never even realized such a thing exists since the guy who Made him took off before telling Jason anything. When Jason’s shift occurred in a home he was house-sitting, and he trashed the place, he took off and has been in leopard form, running for his life, ever since then. As they begin to fall for each other, Tyler introduces him to the world of shifters and helps Jason come to terms with who he is. The two work for it and ultimately get their HEA. This was my favorite of the stories in the anthology. 4.5 stars

I’d recommend this to anyone who likes their M/M romance in very off-the-wall stories, non-wolf shifter stories, and alternate universe adventures.

The cover art by Wilde City Press depicts a cowboy, shirt open and head down. Bright and colorful, it also lists the names of the authors vertically down the opposite side. Very appealing.

Sales Links:  Wilde City Press    –   All Romance (ARe) –   Amazon    Buy It Here

Book Details:

ebook
Published April 29th 2015 by Wilde City Press
edition languageEnglish
urlhttp://www.wildecity.com

 

Its Memorial Weekend and This Week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

vietnam-memorialIt’s Memorial Weekend and the roar and rumble from the Rolling Thunder bikes going by is a fresh reminder of exactly why and who we are remembering this weekend.

A lunch in town saw people passing out poppies in rememberance and thanks for those that fought in the many wars.  My dad was beyond pleased to accept the poppy and the person’s thanks for his service when she gave it to him.  That and an invitation to the VFW luncheon on Monday…well, his day was made.

As was mine.

The concert on the Mall is tomorrow but its the memorials that drew people in today in crowds.  While the weather was perfect, the grief and stillness at the memorials, especially the Black Wall of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was immeasurable.  And haunting.  For me, the Wall and all the artifacts and aura of loss that lingers over it, has the most lasting impact of collective grief and sacrifice that I have seen outside of Arlington Cemetery.

If you come to Washington, DC, whether to see the Cherry Blossoms or the Capital or White House, take time to head over to the Mall.  Visit the WWII Memorial, then head over to the Vietnam Veterans War Memorial, also known as The Wall, or The Wall That Heals.  Here is The Wall’s page link for those of you who have never seen it.  On the home page you will find these words.

VietnamMemorialwall“If you are able, save for them a place inside of you and save one backward glance when you are leaving for the places they can no longer go.
Be not ashamed to say you loved them, though you may or may not have always. Take what they have taught you with their dying and keep it with your own.

And in that time when men decide and feel safe to call the war insane, take one moment to embrace those gentle heroes you left behind.

Major Michael Davis O’Donnell
1 January 1970
Dak To, Vietnam
Listed as KIA February 7, 1978

Then proceed thru the website.  It’s moving, its painful and their sacrifice for us in war becomes fresh once more.

Take some time this weekend to thank a veteran, in person or in memory.  

 

This Week At Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Irish Harp with Rainbow

Sunday, May 24 – Ireland Did It, They Really Did It!  Woohoo!

  • Its Memorial Weekend and This Week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Monday, May 25:

  • Jane Davitt’s “Closing the Loop” Tour and Riptide Contest
  • In the Book Spotlight: His Womanly Ways by K. Lynn (excerpt and giveaway)
  • Book Tour:  The Hidden Wolf by Sue Brown (excerpt and giveaway)
  • A BJ Review: Mountain Prey by Lyn Gala
  • A MelanieM Review:  The Hidden Wolf by Sue Brown

Tuesday, May 26:

  • Lane Hayes cover reveal for The Right Time – cover reveal and giveaway
  • Annabeth Albert’s ‘Delivered Fast‘ (Book 3 of the series) book blast and giveaway
  • A MelanieM Review: Delivered Fast by Annabeth Albert
  • A Mika Review: Time Waits by C. B. Lewis

Wednesday, May 27:

  • Joy Lynn Fielding – Blowing Off Steam (Virtual tour and contest)
  • From the Ashes by Lillian T. MacGowan book blast and giveaway
  • A MelanieM Review: Blood and Ghosts by Shira Anthony
  • A Barb the Zany Old Lady Review: Butt Riders on the Range Anthology

Thursday, May 28:

  • In the Spotlight:  Mia Kerick’s Love Spell (excerpt and giveaway)
  • Annabelle Jacobs The Altered 2 Tour and Contest
  • A Stella Review: Cliff’s Edge by Laura Harner
  • A MelanieM Review:  The Line by Angel Martinez

Friday, May 29:

  • Tour for Lexi Alexander and Alpha Trine
  • A Stella Review: No Matter What (Sex & Mayhem #4) by K.A. Merikan
  • A BJ Review: Human Frailties, Human Strengths by Jaye McKenna
  • A MelanieM Review: Tall With Room by A.J. Llewellyn

Saturday, May 30:

YA Saturday Continues:

  • An Aurora YA Review: After I Wake by Emma Griffiths‏

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In the Book Spotlight: Book Name: Buzz and Blow – Shave and Shimmer – Fade and Fluff by Alex Carreras

Sangre

Buzz and Blow – Shave and Shimmer – Fade and Fluff by Alex Carreras
Release Date: May 20, 2015

STRW In The Spotlight Header

Publisher: Wilde City Press
Cover Artist: Adrian Nichols

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Sales Links: Wilde City Press

STRW Author BookSynopsis

In the city of Sangre, Florida, vampires and humans coexist happily until one ancient and powerful vampire decides to mess up the entire thing. The hairdressers at Everlasting Salon who service vampires and humans alike decide to face the threat that lands on their doorstep enlisting the barbers across the street for a fight to the finish. Chaos ensues when fists fly, but it’s not all bad when old flames reunite and new relationships take root and grow. Between the clandestine meetings and vigilante justice, the vampires find love in unexpected companions, hoping to get some TLC along the way.

Pages or Words: 63,000 words

Categories: Contemporary, Fantasy, Gay fiction, M/M Romance, Paranormal, Romance

STRW Spotlight Book Excerpt

Asher Riots unlocked the door to Everlasting, the salon he had worked at since arriving in the Sunshine State.

Normally the blazing sun wasn’t a vampire’s best friend, but after spending a hundred plus years in the northern United States, it was time for balmy breezes to warm his chilled skin, and soft, sandy beaches to tread on when the moon was full and high in the night sky, no matter what the season.

Stepping through the threshold, he inhaled the distinctive scents of the salon that made his senses tingle with excitement. The familiar smells of the hairsprays, gels, and lotions made him thankful that he had chosen this profession before he became what he was today, a member of the undead. His parents had coiffed the elite of Paris society, and their talents and attention to detail had been passed on to their son who possessed the same talents it took to excel in the beauty industry.

But times and styles had changed, leaving Asher longing for the days of platinum powdered wigs worn by courtesans, instead of bold, garish colors embraced by America’s youth. Releasing a sigh, he flipped on the neon Open sign that hung in the window. Looking out onto the street, he noticed that the barbershop across the way was still closed. Although attractive, the barbers were bad news, and they attracted similar clientele that made Asher’s skin crawl, but excited his lust for rough trade. He never admitted this to his boss, Jerrod, but Tory, his co-worker, suspected as much, judging by the smirk on his glossed lips whenever he caught Asher gazing at the comings and goings of the barbershop during the slow periods at the salon. Tory liked to play dumb, but he was anything but. Asher suspected that Tory preferred it that way because less would be expected of him. He was only fooling himself. Jerrod would never have hired the twink with a penchant for all things shiny, if he believed that was true. Jerrod only took on vampires who showed potential. And if that potential wasn’t realized, they’d be asked to leave. Many had passed through the doors of Everlasting, but only Asher had withstood the test of time.

“They’re in there.” Jerrod strutted through the door on a gust of wind, his deep baritone reverberating in Asher’s chest. “Can’t you smell them?”

“I can smell something, all right,” Asher mumbled under his breath before turning to see the man who had saved him from his own self-loathing when he arrived in Sangre, Florida, years ago. “And it smells like someone is wearing too much cologne.” Asher eyed his friend’s black-from-head-to-toe outfit. It was very hairdresser. And very vampire.

“Funny,” Jerrod grumbled, shooting a look at Asher. “I can sense something’s up but I can’t figure out what, exactly. Have you heard any tongues wagging in the street?”

“Nope,” Asher returned. “But I don’t usually listen to gossip. Ask Tory. He’d know if there is anything to know.”

Jerrod chuckled. “He’s late,” he said without looking at the clock on the wall. “What are we going to do about that guy?”

Just then, the man in question swished through the door, his strut better than any super model’s. “Are you two talking about me again?” Tory made it to the middle of the salon and twirled. “What do you think? It was a gift from an admirer.”

STRW Author Bio and Contacts

Writer of M/M erotic romance, Alex Carreras believes there is nothing sexier than a hot, naked man with a cocky attitude and a sultry smile. Always on the hunt for inspiration, you will find Alex wherever there are attractive men hopefully in a state of undress. And since he lives in South Florida where the average yearly temperature is a balmy 82 Fahrenheit, there is certainly no shortage of inspiration.

Where to find the author:

Facebook Author Page
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlexCWrites

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Tour Dates & Stops:

May 20, 2015
Havan Fellows, The Fuzzy, Fluffy World of Chris T. Kat, Rainbow Gold Reviews, Wake Up Your Wild Side, MM Good Book Reviews, Divine Magazine, Molly Lolly, Scattered Thoughts & Rogue Words, Bayou Book Junkie, Emotion in Motion, Fangirl Moments and My Two Cents, Cate Ashwood, BFD Book Blog, The Hat Party, Lee Brazil, Wicked Faerie’s Tales and Reviews, Multitasking Mommas, Christy Loves 2 Read, Full Moon Dreaming,
Hearts on Fire, Charley Descoteaux

May 21, 2015
Inked Rainbow Reads, Parker Williams

STRW Spotlight Contest Header

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.  Link and prizes provided by the author and Pride Promotions. Enter to win a Rafflecopter Prize: E-copy of ‘Buzz and Blow – Shave and Shimmer – Fade and Fluff’
Rafflecopter Code:
a Rafflecopter giveaway

NOH8 and this week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

17064_mediumSoooo, its Sunday and after a week of birthday and Mother’s Day celebrations (all splendid of course), I’m off to meet up with some M/M Romance friends in DC for a photoshoot, a very special one.  It’s for the NOH8 Campaign.  I’m sure you have seen the many photos of people with duct tape on the mouth and NOH8 on their cheeks.  I have linked to their website above.  Check out some of the photos of those that have joined the campaign. Here is the event today:

NOH8 Open Photo Shoot in Washington, D.C.
START DATE: 05/17/2015
END DATE: 05/17/2015

Join the #NOH8Worldwide movement in WASHINGTON, D.C. and add your face to the fight for equal human rights!

WHERE: Bar Dupont in The Dupont Circle Hotel
1500 New Hampshire Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20036

DATE: Sunday May 17th, 2015

TIME: 1:00pm – 4:00pm

COST:
Single/Solo Photos: $40
Couple/Group Photos: $25 per person

It a marvelous way to demonstrate your support for equality and help push for acceptance for all everywhere.  Here is the missions statement:

The NOH8 Campaign is a charitable organization whose mission is to promote marriage, gender and human equality through education, advocacy, social media, and visual protest.

On November 4, 2008 Proposition 8 passed in California, amending the state Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. The defeat provoked a groundswell of initiative within the GLBT community at a grassroots level, with many new political and protest organizations being formed in response.

The NOH8 Campaign is a photographic silent protest created by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska (http://www.bouska.net) and partner Jeff Parshley in direct response to the passage of Proposition 8. Photos feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 and similar legislation around the world, with “NOH8” painted on one cheek in protest.

Five years since its inception, the NOH8 Campaign has grown to nearly 33,000 faces and continues to grow at an exponential rate. The campaign began with portraits of everyday Californians from all walks of life and soon rose to include politicians, military personnel, newlyweds, law enforcement, artists, celebrities, and many more.

While inspired by the passage of Prop 8, the scope of the NOH8 Campaign has grown to stand against discrimination and bullying of all kinds. The message of ‘No Hate’ can be interpreted and applied broadly, and speaks to each person in their own way.

The NOH8 Campaign has received overwhelming support from around the world, and has appeared in various local and national news programs and publications. The images are widely used on various social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter to spread the message of equality.

I’m adding my photo to the ever growing number.  How about you?  Check it out and see if NOH8 is coming soon to a neighborhood near you.

 

Now for the week ahead at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

The Heracian Affair coverHealing Hunter's Heart coverSarge coverMountain Prey cover

Sunday, May 17:

  • Our Schedule This Week and NOH8 Open Photo Shoot in DC

Monday, May 18:

  • Laura Harner’s Cliff’s Edge Book Tour & Contest
  • A Sammy Review: Apple Polisher by Heidi Belleau
  • A Stella Review: Healing Hunter’s Heart by Charlie Cochet
  • A BJ Review: Just a Bit Unhealthy (Straight Guys, #3) by Alessandra Hazard

Tuesday, May 19:

  • Lee Benoit – Songbook: Paulo & Preston Shorts book blast and giveaway
  • A BJ Review: The Heracian Affair by Liv Olteano
  • A MelanieM Review: The Rebuilding Year, Part 2 by Kaje Harper
  • A Paul B Review: The Exiled Omega (The Exiled Omega #1) by Alex Ashmore

Wednesday, May 20:

  • Press Spotlight: MCB Quarterly Tour (Mischief Corner Books) and giveaway
  • Book Spotlight:  Jude Sierra ‘Hush‘ Tour and Giveaway
  •  Tour and Contest: Buzz and Blow- Shave and Shimmer- Fade and Fluff by Author: Alex Carreras
  • Light a Candle by VJ Summers Riptide tour and contest
  • A BJ Review: Sarge by Bey Decker

Thursday, May 21:

  • Book Spotlight: Brad Vance ‘Would I Lie To You?’ Tour and Contest
  • A MelanieM Review: Dead Blind by Havan Fellows (PF2015 #2)
  • A BJ Review: A Perfect Game by Reno MacLeod and Jaye Valentine
  • A Paul B Review: Bound to Brody (Shifters and Lovers #1) by Ali Atwood

Friday, May 22:

  • Cover Reveal for The Pinch of the Game by Charley Descoteaux (cover reveal and contest)
  • Cover Reveal for Lissa Kasey ‘Model Citizen’ (cover reveal and contest)
  • Book Spotlight:  NR Walker ‘Cronin’s Key II’ (tour and contest)
  • A MelanieM Review:  Blood and Ghosts by Shira Anthony
  • A MelanieM Review:  Stud Player (PF2015) by Havan Fellows

Saturday, May 23:

  • A Mika YA Review: The Book of Ethan by Russell J. Sanders

We continue to bring you reviews on books you might never have heard of, new books off your radar, and books by authors you’ve been meaning to get to.  Check us and the books out all week long!

MCBQuarterly4x6SMLieCover 2ApplePolisher_400x600CroninsKey2NRWalker1500

 

 

 

Happy Mother’s Day to All Mothers Everywhere and This Week At Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Thou art thy mother’s glass, and she in thee
Calls back the lovely April of her prime.
William Shakespeare
Sonnets

Happy Mother’s Day!

It’s Mother’s Day today and I’m off to deliver card and present to my mother this morning.  It’s time to celebrate those who raised us and loved us and helped us forward into  adulthood.  The Mothers who bore us, chose us, and made us their children.  Time to give thanks for their words, their silence support when needed, and their boundless encouragement.

For that reason, and others on this warm day, our Sunday post will be short.

 

Here is Our Schedule This Week at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Sunday, May 10:

  • Happy Mother’s Day and Our Schedule This Week

Monday, May 11:

  • Light in Endless Darkness by Huston Piner – Book Blast and giveaway
  • In the Book Spotlight: Depending On You by J.E. Birk (excerpt and contest)
  • A Paul B Review: Rock Star Baby (Bad Oak Boys #1) by Erin M. Leaf
  • A Barb The Zany Old Lady Review: Wedding Favors by Anne Tenino

Tuesday, May 12:

  • In the Spotlight: Get Off My Case by Lisa Oliver (excerpt and giveaway)
  • A Stella Review: Caught! (The Shamwell Tales #1) by J.L. Merrow
  • A MelanieM Review: Catching the Swallow by John Inman

Wednesday, May 13:

  • Katey Hawthorne’s latest Superpowered Love Giveaway and Guest Post
  • Karen Stivali Moment of Clarity (Book 3 of the series) excerpt and giveaway
  • A BJ Review: Straight Boy by Alessandra Hazard
  • A Barb the Zany Old Lady Review: Cookies for Courting by Amber Kell

Thursday, May 14:

  •  Reesa Herberth and Michelle Moore’s “Peripheral People” Tour and Giveaway
  • REV re-cover celebreation with Heidi Belleau (except and contest)
  • A BJ Review: Peripheral People by Reesa Herberth and Michelle Moore
  • A Barb the Zany Old Lady Review: Just Desserts by Mary Calmes
  • A MelanieM Review: My Cowboy Promises by ZA Maxfield

Friday, May 15:

  • Teegan Loy’s Love Complicated Book Tour and Contest
  • A Stella Review: Played! by JL Merrow
  • A MelanieM Review: Keep The Stars Running Anthology
  • A BJ Review: Just a Bit Obsessed by Alessandra Hazard

Saturday, May 16:

An Aurora YA Review: Slaying Isidore’s Dragons by C. Kennedy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its all Butts and Cowboys with Kiernan Kelley and Butt Riders on the Range (guest post and giveaway)

 

Butt Riders Banner

Butt Riders On the Range is Here! Cowboys and lots of butts on the Butte! Don’t Miss out on Kiernan Kelly’s guest post “So Many Butts, So LIttle Time”. Check out the blurb and excerpt and don’t forget to enter to contest as well.cowboy hat and boots blkwhite

So Many Butts, So Little Time by Kiernan Kelly

One night long ago in a land far, far away — or it may have been last May in a Marriott hotel on the outskirts of Atlanta — eight authors sat at a table surrounded by rapidly deflating ninja themed balloons, plastic katana blades, oddly penis-shaped nunchucks, and fistfuls of throwing-star erasers, and decided two books did not a series make.

We were at OutlantaCon, the official birthplace of the Butthology books, where we — Kage Alan, T.c. Blue, Eden Winters, Ally Blue, Shae Connor, J.P. Barnaby, Jevocas Green, and myself — had just finished celebrating the release of Butt Ninjas From Hell.

It was the second book we’d written in what we hoped would be a series. The first, Butt Pirates in Space, was science fiction, and had released May 2013. Butt Ninjas from Hell was paranormal-themed. Both, of course, had a healthy helping of humor thrown in with a side of hot gay sex.

We sat there staring at one another, wondering what to do next. As butt book writers, we needed to feed our addiction. We couldn’t go too long with a fix. What to do, what to do?

The answer was obvious. Write more butts, of course.

We decided to author two more anthologies for the following year. The first was a holiday fantasy issue titled “Butt Babes in Boyland,” which released in time for the 2014 holidays, and the second, due out May 2015, we titled “Butt Riders on the Range.”

It’s a western-themed book, just in case you haven’t guessed, or skipped the first four paragraphs of this blog because your boss/kids/significant other/grandmother kept wandering close enough to read the screen.

What all this goes to prove is simply that there is no genre so sacred we will not Butt-ify it. My story for this go-round is titled, “Squatting with Spurs On.” It’s a fantasy-western crossover involving time travel and ghosts.

Writing a western time-travel gay romance involving a ghost wasn’t as difficult as you’d think. There was really only one thing that stymied me. It’s the same thing that trips me up every time I write a historical set in the old west.

The thing is, I find it decidedly difficult to write a sex scene set in that time period, not because of featherbeds, or condoms made from some sort of sheep intestine, or even the fact that homosexual relations in the time period were often a hanging offense.

It’s the lack of running water that throws me every damn time.

Picture this: Wyoming, 1880. There’s a ranch nestled in a beautiful green valley somewhere in the shadow of the Grand Tetons. Cattle graze placidly on the pastureland, while cowboys in checkered shirts and beaver-fur hats gather around a campfire for a dinner of beans and a night of manly camaraderie and farting.

Two men, let’s call them Zane and Louis, have remained alone back at the ranch house because I said so. There’s a chill in the night air, prompting Zane to kindle a fire in the parlor’s lovely fieldstone fireplace. He takes a seat on the floor, and stares at the flames because it’s the late 1880’s and Monday Night Football hasn’t been invented yet.

Louis, meanwhile, busies himself in the kitchen. He returns and takes a seat on the floor next to Zane, handing over a mug of fresh-brewed coffee.

Zane sniffs, it, and raises an eyebrow, probably because Louis is nothing if not predictable.

More than he dislikes being cold, Louis really, really wants to get laid, and he knows the quickest way to get Zane naked is to pour one or seven shots of rotgut whiskey down Zane’s throat.

Zane doesn’t seem inclined to complain. He drinks the contents in one long, burning gulp, and holds the cup out to Louis with a questioning look in his eyes.

Louis happily refills Zane’s mug. One down, six to go. After the third refill, he no longer makes the pretense of adding coffee to the cup.

The fire, firmly established, crackles musically, and casts dancing shadows across their faces. It’s getting very warm in the room. Too warm for a shirt. Too warm for boots. Or pants for that matter.

With less trouble than you might think, Louis convinces Zane that a dollop of lard smeared on his asshole would certainly cool down the rest of his body.

Having drunk seven or fifteen cups of Louis’s “coffee,” Zane thinks it’s a fine idea. He manages to raise himself onto his elbows and knees to make the cooling process easier for Louis.

Louis, faced with Zane’s bare butt and tight little hole, wasn’t feeling too cool, himself. In fact, his body was burning hotter than the chili Cook dished up on the last cattle drive. He was almost surprised the lard didn’t melt and sizzle when he slicked himself with it.

For his part, Zane was only slightly confused when he felt Louis’s dick slide inside him. He realized that, instead of cooling him down, parts of him were getting warmer. And harder.

It didn’t take long for both men to reach critical mass, each one howling as his orgasm ripped through him. In the process of coming, they made one helluva mess. Seems it’d been a while for both of them, and they’d been storing up their boy batter like Cook put up canned jars of homemade baked beans for winter. It coated their hands, Zane’s back, both their dicks, Louis’s stomach, the floor, and even dotted poor old Champ, Zane’s one-eyed, three-legged hound, who’d had the misfortune to pick the wrong time to wander closer to the fire.

All of which brings me to my problem:

Somebody has to go pump some damn water so they can clean up.

It’s not like Zane or Louis can run into the bathroom and rinse off. The “bathroom” is a wooden, coffin-sized shed set several yards behind the house, that’s probably home to a family of rattlesnakes, several species of poisonous spiders, a stink too powerful even to contemplate, and has no freaking water anyway.

No, if they want to wash that spunk off before anyone comes back and finds them, well…white-handed, somebody needs to go prime the kitchen pump. Unless Louis had the forethought to pour some of the water he’d earlier pumped for coffee into a washbasin for later, that is, which, of course, he hadn’t.

Sadly, Louis isn’t that smart. Handsome, muscled, and extremely well endowed, but about as clever as a stump.

Anyway, I suppose they could simply wipe all that ejaculate off on a towel, or on Zane’s shirt (although he hates when Louis does that – makes the shirt all stiff and scratchy), but they’re still going to be freaking sticky, not to mention smell like a mattress from Miss Bluebell’s Cathouse over in Jackson.

Do you see my problem?

The answer I came up with was to make my characters sixty-nine and swallow, or have sex out-of-doors, preferably near a stream or water trough, or make them smart enough to pump water ahead of time.

Still, it’s not easy. So why do I did I agree to do it?

Mostly, because I truly believe that sometimes, as writers, we take ourselves too damn seriously. We need the chance to let loose, to lighten up, to stretch our creative muscles, and the Butthology books give me that opportunity. I know I can speak for the rest of our group when I say we enjoy writing these stories. They’re freeing, and give us a chance to flex our writing muscles in a way our usual stories don’t. They let ignore most of the rules published stories are usually held to, and fly free.

In other words, they let us laugh at ourselves.

And besides, really, are there ever enough butts in romance?

Nope. Didn’t think so.

About Kiernan Kelly…

KiernanKelly_photo

Kiernan Kelly lives in the wilds of the alligator-infested U.S. Southeast, slathered in SPF 45, drinking colorful tropical, hi-octane concoctions served by thong-clad cabana boys.

All right, the truth is that she spends her time locked in the dark recesses of her office, writing gay erotic romance while chained to a temperamental laptop, drinking coffee, and dreaming of thong-clad cabana boys. 

Sigh.
To date, Kiernan has thirteen novels, two YA novels under her Dakota Chase pseudonym, a plethora of shorter works in print and ebook, and still no cabana boy of her own, although her husband may beg to differ.

ButtRidersOnTheRange_cvr_100dpi

Butt Riders On The Range

Authors:  Kage Alan, JP Barnaby, Ally Blue, TC Blue, Shae Connor , Jevocas Green,Kiernan Kelly , Eden Winters 

PUBLISHER: Wilde City Press
RELEASE DATE: April 29, 2015

About Butt Riders on the Range Anthology…

Do you imagine blazing gun battles, bandits, and saloons with watered-down drinks when you think of cowboys and the West? We don’t. Our minds go right to horse shifters, bull shifters, were-leopards, urban wannabes, an interrupted journey along Route 66, a man of mystery named Dr. Feel-Good, and high noon at the edge of the galaxy! The fourth time’s the charm as the Butt-Thology authors saddle up, ride their men hard, and put ‘em away wet.

Butt Riders on the Range…the bulls aren’t the only ones being grabbed by the horns!
Book Links: Wilde City Press

Book Details:

ebook
Published April 29th 2015 by Wilde City Press
edition languageEnglish

GIVEAWAY DETAILS:

One ebook copy of any of the previous Butt-Thologies.  Must be 18 years of age or older to enter. Link and prizes provided by the authors and Indigo Marketing and Design.  

Contest Begins: April 29, 2015
Contest Ends: May 10, 2015

Rafflecopter Code:
a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

A Mika Review: I’m The Guy You Hate by Isa K.

Rating: 3 star out of 5 stars

Im The Guy You Hate coverThirty-eight year old Jonny Ordell is hopelessly in love with his friend Mark Dorsett. There’s just one small problem: Mark Dorsett is insane.

Not a charming, cute, surprisingly insightful kind of insane. The kind of mental illness that rips apart Jonny’s insides and turns otherwise good people into villains. It isn’t Mark’s fault. It’s not like he asked to be sick. At the same time Mark’s erratic behavior and his refusal to get help is destroying everything in his path, including Jonny.

Now Jonny must decide: does he stand by his man and hope loyalty and love are enough to make Mark realize the error of his ways? Or does he abandon Mark to his illness and save himself? Neither choice offers much hope of happiness. As their affair continues Jonny must confront the possibility that his love is not healing Mark, it may actually be making him worse.

There’s no damsel in distress here. The character may be tragic, I’ll give you that, but he’s a willing participant in his own destruction and there’s nothing you can do about that. 

That might the sanest thing said throughout this entire tragedy. It was train wreck from beginning to end. The writing wasn’t bad but it was the way I felt about the characters and plot. Isa K  is a new author to me. The story itself was depressing, sad and just frustrating. I hope that if this was real for anyone, anywhere, that they would have the strength to walk away. The two guys, were bad for each other. Nobody can dispute that. Mark is sick, he’s alcoholic, had mental illness issues that I felt like the author should have told us which disease was involved. He might be the most unstable person I’ve ever read about. He’s selfish, rude, sexist, inappropriate, and sick. First and foremost enabling a sick person with any kind of addiction is wrong. I have no sympathy for Johnny, he put himself in the worst positions ever. I honestly felt like he forced Mark’s hand on the sexuality issue.

I want people to know I’m The Guy You Hate is not romance so don’t go in thinking it’s going to be, a person who is sick then magically gets help and falls in love. 

It’s destruction from page 1. I kept getting so frustrated because Johnny felt the need to validate Mark’s behavior to everyone. I hated it, Mark is a grown ass man who didn’t need anyone to stand up for him. It kept pissing me off because in the novel Johnny keeps making references to Mark being a good guy. When is Mark a good guy? I haven’t seen anything selfless he’s ever done for no one in the entire book. I’m trying to understand what the author wants us to realize while reading it. Honestly if Johnny was supposed to be the sane person in this story, how come no one pointed that out. He’s so pathetic in how he reacts to Mark. For me this element is a slap in the face the entire book involving other relationships.

The author explained that this is more based on the illness than the actual romance, and I’m okay with that. I’m just not happy with what was on the page. The author wrote well enough, and if that’s the case then it’s a 3 for writing, . I want to know Why to everything? The main character that was gay who wasn’t sick almost devoted his life to Mark in a worshipful sense. It was horrible, that the treatment of him.  And no one in this book acknowledged that Mark had any type of mental illness. I guess I’m just upset that I read this, and I might be feeling a certain  way for actual people that go through things like this in real life. It sucks. Honestly I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone. If you can feel my anger at this book, then you’ll understand. Maybe I’ll go email the author and get some questions answered.

Cover Art by Wilde City Press.I don’t get the cover at all. It doesn’t match the tone of the book, as well as where we leave off after reading it.

Sales Links:  Wilde City Press            Buy It Here

Book Details:

ebook
Published March 25th 2015 by Wilde City Press
ISBN139781925313017
edition languageEnglish

Our Best Book Covers of April 2015

Dreams Dreams of Fire and Gods

So many wonderful covers to choose from this month.  Covers that pulled you into and made you want to read the story inside. Covers that intrigued, drew you in or were just plain adorable.  We all have our favorites…what were yours this month?  Write and let us know!

              Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Best Covers of April 2015

crossed olive branches

In no particular order…

ToTouchTheSkyBurn The Sky coverFire- Dreams of Fire and Gods coverSpiretown cover

 

 

 

 

  • To Touch The Sky (Leap of Faith #2) by M.A. Church, cover art by LC Chase
  • Burn the Sky by Jaye McKenna. cover art by Chinchbug
  • Fire (Dreams of Fire and Gods #2) by James Erich, cover art by Paul Richmond (in fact all the covers in this series
  • Spiretown by Lia Black, cover design by the author

Fallout coverA Beginner's Guide to Wooing Your Mate coverSlasherazzi coverLost Along the Way cover

 

 

 

 

 

  • Fallout by Lisa Henry and M. Caspian,  cover art by Natasha Snow
  • A Beginner’s Guide to Wooing Your Mate (Being(s) in Love #3) by R. Cooper, cover art by Paul Richmond
  • Slasherazzi by Daniel A. Kaine, cover art by Wilde City Press art director
  • A Way Home by Keira Andrews, cover art?

 

SMCate-Ashwood-Thirty-Things-coverFood for Thought coverHoarfrost coverFamily of Lies cover

 

 

 

 

  • Thirty Things by Cate Ashwood, Cover art by Alexandria Corza
  • Food for Thought by Amy Lane (Tales of the Curious Cookbook), cover art by Reese Dante
  • Hoarfrost by Jordan L. Hawk, cover art by Jordan L. Hawk
  • Family of Lies: Sebastian by Sam Argent, cover art by Anne Cain

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Our Best Books of April 2015

parabook

This year has been a little crazy and we got away from our monthly Best of Lists!  But they are back starting with April 2015.

Let’s take a closer look at those stories we read and loved so much.  One or two are 4.75 stars rounded up to 5, the rest are 5 star rated stories.  Are some of yours there t0o?  Drop us a line and let us know what books and authors stood out for you this month!

Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Best Books of April 2015

crossed olive branches

 

Fantasy:

Contemporary Romance:

Science Fiction:

Supernatural/Paranormal:

YA – Aurora Reviews (Both 5 stars)

Barb, A Zany Old Lady Review — Foolish Encounters: A Rainbow Gold Anthology by Angel Martinez, Tinnean, Tali Spencer, Amy Lane, J.C. Wallace, Elin Gregory, and Freddy MacKay

Rating: 4.25 stars out of 5

Foolish Encounters coverThis is a collection of stories in which one or both of the MCs have something happen which disrupts their routine before they have that first chance encounter. As the blurb states, “An accident, a chance encounter, a thought blurted out, a boat blown off course, a change in direction that suddenly runs into the line of fire – the smallest misstep can change everything. These foolish encounters are the moments around which lives pivot and sometimes spin out of control.”

A Message from the Home Office by Angel Martinez
Sissal, a cobra shifter, is sent an assistant to his outpost on planet Earth. The young guy named Rcrred, and nicknamed Richard, is cute, blond, very high strung, and uses his eidetic memory to spout regulations at Sissal every chance he gets. Richard is a dik-dik shifter and is the last thing Sissal wanted in his life. But Sissal adapts to the situation until he discovers that Richard has hacked into his computer and is apparently trying to find something on him to report back to headquarters. Actually, he’s reporting back to a specific officer who has had it in for Sissal for years. This is a very nice story with great world-building, interesting characters, and a plausible, complex storyline. Great for those who like sci-fi/futuristic adventures. 4 stars

Shredding the Heart by JC Wallace
Nicholas is a skateboarder who is hoping to win a national title, and in the meantime is working, going to college part time, and practicing on his skateboard every chance he gets. He’s not only obsessed with skateboarding, though. He’s obsessed with the guy he sees out running every morning, and in an attempt to get closer one morning, he accidently overcompensates on his board, sending it slamming into the man’s head. Quinn is a workaholic, driven to achieve in his high pressure finance job, and hadn’t noticed the gorgeous skateboarder until they both ended up in the hospital together. Eventually, Quinn gives in to Nicholas’s attempts to befriend him, and the two find they have a lot in common. But Quinn’s been burned before and doesn’t give his trust lightly. When he perceives that Nicholas has used him to get sponsorship to attend his next skateboarding event, he cruelly breaks Nicholas’s heart and storms off in a huff.

This is the longest of the stories and was very well done. The author took the time to build a relationship with the men and gave them plenty of time to work out their own issues and for Quinn to realize his own stupidity. Shredding is defined as performing an athletic sport well, and it’s not until Quinn learns how to master his heart that the two can finally find their HEA. Great for those who love a little angst and self-flagellation mixed with their romance. 5 stars

The Lunar Imperative by Elin Gregory
Futuristic sci-fi about Haken, a Vargan sergeant who leads a covert mission to another planet to exterminate the man who escaped their planet with their treasury. One of his soldiers, Raimi, is attracted to Haken but is not of the same rank so Haken hesitates to pursue anything. The Vargans are huge, and shift-shape to beasts during the full moon, often losing their humanity during that time and feasting on each other. However, at this full moon, both Raimi and Haken have been captured. The heart of the story revolves around whether or not they will kill each other, exterminate their captor, or be killed. This is an interesting tale with a lot of world-building for such a short story. If you like non-human species and sci-fi space adventures, you will likely enjoy this one. 3 stars

Blue and Green Persuasion by Tinnean
Stranded aboard The Midnight Ride, a starship which has been floating without power through the galaxies for centuries, Hart accepts that his fate may be to die aboard the ship that was to have transported them to a new world before it lost power. But as they enter a new galaxy, his father, the captain, asks him to power up his pod—a small spaceship that he uses for scouting. As Chief Scout, he will not only drop into a possibly hostile atmosphere, but he may never return to the ship since there’s not enough power to get back. But the reports look good. The planet seems to have both water and land mass, and when he lands he finds an oxygen-rich atmosphere, small animals to use as food, and beautiful, bird-like sentient beings. Kes is such a being and right from the start, they are attracted to each other. But Hart has to direct his father and the other survivors onboard The Midnight Ride as they use shuttle tenders to land in this new world so the men are separated until Hart completes his mission. This was a great story with amazing world-building within so few words. The primary romance, and another between Hart’s brother and one of the soldiers were sweetly done, and we see enough of the promise of a future together to make it a satisfying romance story. 5 stars

Well Hello, Eight Eyes by Tali Spencer
Tanner is out on Lake Michigan when a horrible storm blows up, and he can’t make it back to shore. Shooting for an island, his boat capsizes, and he ends up on Spider Island where the residents don’t seem very happy about saving his life. He’s assigned to Cory as his housemate and “sitter”, and told to stay in the cabin no matter what happens while Cory is gone during the day. He steps onto the porch and is greeted with a scary sight—huge, furry, eight-legged creatures resembling spiders seem to be playing with each other in a nearby field. Needless to say, he gets indoors and doesn’t plan to go out at all the next day. That night, he and Cory get closer and more romantically involved, and he’s starting to wonder if he even wants to leave the island the next day when the supply boat is due to arrive. But before he has to make the choice, he gets a greater shock when he spots a spider indoors with him. What happens next changes the course of his future, and he finds a chance to be happy with Cory in a warm and fuzzy way (pun intended!). 3.5 stars

The Fenestra Penetration by Amy Lane
A fenestra is an opening or a window. Steve is a UPS driver who enjoys imagining what goes on behind the windows he views as he makes his deliveries every day. Usually he can see something inside each window that fires his imagination, but one house on his route has all the shades pulled, and when he sees where the package he’s about to deliver is from, he’s hoping that the guy who lives there is as hot as his imagination makes him out to be. That particular company only produces certain items—the kind of items Steve himself prefers, and when he gets a look at the cute guy who receives the box, he wants more. Eventually, he not only gets it he gets much more than his imagination could have possibly hoped for. A really cute, sweet, hot, well done story packed with humor and romance. 5 stars

The Nut Job by Freddy Mackay
This one is somewhat of an offshoot of “A Message from the Home Office” by Angel Martinez. Spencer is the pilot who dropped off Rcrred and got out of there quickly before Sissal could make him return for the irritating little rik-rik. Spence is a squirrel, or a squirrel-like being, who is on a mission to gather nuts, not only for the people on his planet, but there’s also a little side trip to set himself up with his own private stash. When his assistants, some of whom are large and furry, are spotted and shot at by a human, Spence has to abort his mission, drop his nuts, and try to get his friends to safety. It’s during this escape that he meets Raijin, a human male who is stoned on pot and ’shrooms and doesn’t really believe his own eyes. Over time, and a great deal of bickering, he and Spence start to form an attraction, and when Raijin is injured by that same gun-toting human, Spence does whatever he can to keep him safe, including making Raijin his pet. This is a nutty story (pun intended) in which the author shows a definite sense of humor with the nut jokes. A great way to end the anthology, and though not strictly a romance, there’s hope for one as the story closes. 4 stars

Overall, this is a nice anthology, definitely just perfect for those who enjoy sci-fi since many of the stories were space adventures. I enjoyed some stories more than others, and I’m sure other readers will have their own choices, but overall I enjoyed this very much.

Cover art by Wilde City Press.  Cute cover that works for the anthology.

Sales Links:     Wilde City Press        All Romance (ARe)      Amazon       Buy It Here

Book Details:

ebook, First, 353 pages
Published April 1st 2015 by Wilde City Press, LLC (first published March 31st 2015)
original titleFoolish Encounters: A Rainbow Gold Anthology
ISBN 1925313069 (ISBN13: 9781925313062)
edition languageEnglish