Tag: gay vampires

Review: Vampirism and You (Guidebooks #01) by Missouri Dalton

Rating: 4.75 stars out of 5

Vampirism and You coverLouis Von Graves has had an unusual childhood.  His family name is Krekowski but his parents named him Louis Von Graves. It’s almost as though they knew what would happen to him.  You see, Louis’ family are indentured servants to vampires, specifically, The Countess and have been for more generations than can be remembered.  When he was younger, Louis’ name was picked out of a hat filled with the names of children from all the servants.  Why? So that the chosen one would be turned on his 17th birthday and become a vampire, a child of the Countess. It doesn’t matter what the child wants, its wham, bite, death, and you’re a vampire.

So here he is, 17 and a new vampire.  He has been taken away from his family and friends in England and given over to a foster sire who will teach him how to be a vampire and all the rules and regulations that go along with it.  But no one told him he would have to go to America, and no one told him he would have to go to school.  With a bunch of american high school kids no less.  So what is a sullen, pouting, teenager to do when his world has been turned upside down, he has powers he doesn’t know what to do with and a overwhelming desire to drink his classmates blood?  Why be given a guidebook of course.

But the book, Vampirism and You (A Beginner’s Guide to the Change) that his foster-vampire sire Duncan gives him can’t prepare him for everything.  A new vampire appears at the house he shares with Duncan and while Eli appears to be friendly, Duncan hates him and tells Louis to stay away from Eli at all costs. And while Louis wants to eat the girls around him, he doesn’t want to date them.  Does that make him a gay vampire?  Louis isn’t sure what the answer is but increasingly all the questions about his sexuality seem to have Duncan as their focus.

But soon Louis learns that life is not all vampire fun and games.  There is great intrigue,  and evil court politics to contend with. Plus Louis is having nightmares that keep getting more vivid all the time and the answers seem to lie in his past.  Louis must contend with unexpected evil, horny cheerleaders, and the possibility he just might be gay all at the same time.  Hopefully the guidebook can help him, now only if he could remember to read his homework!

I have found a new addiction and it’s not one book or even two.  It’s a new series from Missouri Dalton and Torquere Press’s YA Press, Prizm Books.  The Guidebooks series revolves around a group of supernatural guidebooks, each a part of a series for a group of supernatural practitioners and/or supernatural beings.  Whether it be necromancers or vampires or something more, each book is delivered or given to a teenager as they come of age (whether it is being turned or coming into their powers).  The first book in the series, Vampirism and You (A Beginner’s Guide to the Change) is given to one Louis Van Graves shortly after he is turned on his 17th birthday.

What a spectacular idea for a series!  And with Missouri Dalton, an author I have come to throughly enjoy, as it’s creator, the series has really taken flight into the realm of classic storytelling.  Louis Van Graves is that typical teenager at  17 years of age who has been made to do something he never wanted to do.  Of course, we aren’t talking woodshop here. Louis has been made into a vampire through no true choice of his own.  Not only was his name picked out of a hat but he also was promised something huge by the Countess if he agreed to be turned.   In exchange for his mortal life, the Countess agrees to let his sister live a normal life and his family leave her employ to become “normal” once more after centuries as indentured servants.  But that meant that Louis had to become the sacrificial lamb for his sister and family, something none of them even tried to stop.  So Louis’ feelings here are more than the normal sullen, pouting teenager.  In Dalton’s hands, we have a young intelligent man, separated forever from his family, forced by love to become something he never wanted and removed to the American Midwest, a foreign place in everyway, including culture no matter that we both speak “English”.  Louis is profoundly hurt, not that he would ever let on and he is trying to figure out what it all means. Just as any teenager is trying to do but in extreme circumstances. The character of Louis manages to come across as not only a believable teenager going through the appropriate stages of emotional growth but also as a realistic young vampire trying to figure out his newly dead and supposedly long lasting status.  Such a dichotomy, to walk the halls of high school, navigating the social cliques of that age but having to walk hallways full of newly categorized food.

Louis has to contend with not only relocation and new status as a vampire but a foster sire as well.  Duncan (another marvelous character) has taken control of Louis as the Countess is not “terribly maternally”.   This is Louis’ first introduction to Duncan his foster sire.  Louis has been shipped off in a coffin, wearing clothes more suitable to a 18th pirate than a teenage boy:

Then again — the hearse went over a particularly large pothole, knocking my head into the lid of the coffin. It didn’t budge so much as a centimeter, seeing how I was locked in. Apparently her ladyship thought I might try to make a run for it. How right she was. The hearse quite suddenly rumbled to a stop. I heard the doors open and close. And then my coffin was being lifted and carried. An odd sensation I’ll admit.

There was the sound of doors — sliding doors, sucking sounding, like at the market. Footsteps echoed outside the coffin, not wood floors, tile probably.

They didn’t take me to a morgue did they?

Another ten minutes of jostling and my coffin was set down — not far down, probably on a raised surface. There was a jingle of keys and click of one turning in a lock before the lid was pushed open. I rolled over and sat up, and was met with the speculative look of a man much better dressed than myself. His dark hair was slicked back neatly, and his striped blue button-down shirt was tucked into pressed black slacks.

“Hello, Captain,” he said, blue eyes hiding laughter rather unsuccessfully.

“Bite me.”

“I may take you up on that.” Without a word, he slid his arms under my legs and armpits and lifted me out of the coffin, setting me down on my feet.

“Bloody hell!” I glared, “I didn’t ask for help.”

“Uh huh.” He picked up a clipboard from a table next to my coffin, which itself was on a metal table in the gray-tiled room with gray walls and flickering overhead 6 lights. There were three other tables, two of which held open coffins.

“I see you’ve come to us from Countess Von Graves.”

“Yes.” So the Von Graves name came from her ladyship — it’s still ridiculous.

“She’s marked you as a flight risk — well, first things first, a change of clothes.” He jerked his thumb at the door. “Follow me.” Not having any other choice, I followed. The next room was carpeted, narrow, and long. A table ran along the length of the left side of the room, mirrors covered the right-hand wall — not that I could see myself in them anymore — and there was a door at the very end. The table had a myriad of things. Boxes filled with odds and ends, files, clothes, and a couple of coolers. He grabbed jeans and a plain black T-shirt from the table and tossed them to me. Of course it was black. Never mind that I looked much better in other colors. “Put these on.” He turned around, I suppose to give me privacy, and I stripped down as quickly as I could and redressed in the fresh clothes. Much better.

“All done.”

He turned to me and grinned. “Good.” Walking farther into the room, he dug through the clutter on the table to retrieve a small metal vial and a bracelet that had an obvious setting for the tiny vial at the front. He stepped back to me. “Now, the Countess marked your file, but I prefer to just ask. Are you a flight risk?”

“No,” I snapped.

“So yes then.” He nodded. “You get a tracking device.” He held up the vial and bracelet. The bracelet he snapped around my wrist before I could blink. Then, he bit down on his lip, drawing blood, and dripped one drop into the vial, closed it, and slid it onto the bracelet with a click.

And with that, Louis’ education begins.

I love how beautifully  Dalton incorporates the typical teenage feelings and moods into a 17 year old newly formed vampire with it’s own newly acquired needs.  Louis has not just regular teenage hormones to contend with but the hyped up sexuality of a vampire.  Quite overwhelming to someone who has never dated.  Louis must traverse not only the pitfalls and crevasses of an american high school but those of vampire society, each with its own dangers.

Missouri Dalton never loses track of the age of her main character or of her core audience no matter how dire the circumstances of Louis’ life or unlife becomes. Louis’ has a singular voice, so typically teenage but full of personality.  He is alternately sarcastic and hopeful, wry and hurt, little sparks of youthful arrogance appearing when you least expect to do along with equal amounts of hidden humility.  So engaging, that you become involved in Louis’ plight immediately as the true precarious nature of his status becomes known.  And that leads us into the darker sections of this novel.

Yes, there are plenty of funny situations here but there are also just as many dire ones as well as the book continues, these are vampires after all.  There are references to some horrific events, none of which are described or actually referred to in terms that I think might be warranted.   There is a “blood rape” where one is bitten against their wishes.  That is described but not in overly vivid terms.  Dalton doesn’t need them in order for us to see and feel the horror of the event.  And there is more, also either in the past or not described.  But they do occur.

This is also a book about a teenager finding out not only he is gay and coming to terms with his sexuality.  But it’s also about being a sexual person.  OK, think of teenagers and their hormones and then multiply that.  And Louis’ has to come to grips with all of that and more.  It’s funny, it’s painful and at one point horrific.  And at alls times, it also feels very real.  There are no explicit sexual scenes here, just the wants and emotions associated with sexuality.  Louis’ emotions are those we can easily understand with dealing with growing up and becoming a sexual being.  It’s confusing, confounding, and can overwhelm our senses. Plus with Louis there is something more going on.  The vampires or at least a contingent of them are dark, evil beings and have been so for centuries.  And they want Louis.  Not a good thing, trust me.

Missouri Dalton has also populated this book and her series with one memorable being after  another, each a fully fleshed out (for the most part) character with real feelings and emotions backing up their actions.  Her settings too ring with authenticity from high school plays and social dynamics to the Courts of Vampire Society that feel as real as the high school gymnasium.  Not a hint of a jumbled narrative to be seen here.

My only issue is a slight one and that would be the ending.  A few loose ends still frayed and lagging in the wind.  They are tied up neatly in the beginning of Necromancy and You (Guidebooks #02) but still those bits here keep this from a perfect 5 star rating.  This is a YA story but definitely geared towards the older crowd.  I am thinking 15 to Adult, nothing younger.  There are some very dark issues here that have to be addressed, not just youthful hormones. I can’t say anything further because I won’t spoil this book.  But if you have a sensitive child, read the story for yourself first before giving it to them.  Always a good idea at any rate.

I have to admit I read Necromancy and You first, and then came back to pick this one up.  How do they fare?  Well, I found this story to be a little darker but both are just outstanding and I will be recommending this series as one of the Best of 2013.  Whether you are 15 or 50, this story and this series is for you.  Memorable characters, thrilling narrative, great dialog…really  it has it all.  Start at the beginning  and work your way through.  What a marvelous journey it is going to be.

Book/Series Covers by LC Chase.  Each cover is the cover of the Guidebook given to the teenager in the story.  This a great idea and the covers work perfectly in every way.

Book Details:

ebook, 199 pages
Published January 29th 2013 by Prizm Books
ISBN1610404297 (ISBN13: 9781610404297)
edition language English

Review: Adapting Instincts (Instincts #4) by S.J. Frost

Rating: 4.25 stars out of 5

Adapting InstinctsZoologist and primate specialist Carl Anderson’s thoughts are consumed by one man and one kiss whose message remains unclear to Carl.  And it is not just the kiss that has unsettled his life, but  the fact that the man who kissed him was a vampire, one of many who live all around him hidden to most of human society.  This fact was revealed to Carl through events involving his best friend Andreas Nikandros and his vampire lover Titus Antonius Calidus (Loving Instincts).  Those events saw Carl caught between the vampires and the vampire hunters, including another of Carl’s friends, Matthew.  At one point Carl and Andreas were threatened with death and one of Carl’s rescuers was the vampire warrior, Egill Dalgaard.

Egill Dalgaard.  Viking warrior and member of vampire society’s ruling body, the Tribunal, is used to having complete control of his life but one special human has upset his calm and ordered existence.  Egill cannot get Carl Anderson out of his thoughts since he first met the human and helped save his life.  And that one kiss has insured Carl’s place in Egill’s nightly dreams.  There are so many reasons why a continued association with Carl is ill advised and just one reason to do so.  Egill hasn’t felt this way about someone in a very long time, and for that reason alone Egill cannot let this human go.

Carl’s thoughts are still so divided and upset.  There is Matthew, mixed up with the vampire hunters, on one side and Egill Dalgaard, viking vampire on the other.  Carl’s life is now full of fearful glances at the dark, and longing too.  But the vampire hunters are still out there , posing a threat to Carl, Andreas, and the vampires Carl has come to know and respect. Any relationship Carl and Egill might have will be threatened by a variety of forces all around them, including the Tribunal.  Carl has always been afraid of confrontation, but if he wants Egill in his life, then he must decide on which path to take, including one that will take him away from his humanity.

Adapting Instincts is the fourth book in the Instincts series by S.J. Frost, a series that shows continues to deliver wonderful characters and a deepening overall story arch that runs through the entire series to date.  In this latest installation, all of our favorite couples are back and fully involved in this book’s narrative.  We have the original couple of Andreas Nikandros (now a vampire himself) and his eternal partner Titus Antonius Calidus,  Vampire Samurai Ryunosuke Kimura and his vampire lover Daniel Valente (my favorite couple) and now brought into the center are viking vampire Egill Dalgaard and human Carl Anderson, friend and former coworker of Andreas Nikandros.

Adapting Instincts picks up three months after that last events of Loving Instincts (Instincts #3), events that have left reverberations through all the lives of those involved, human and vampire alike.  One of the strengths of S.J. Frost’s writing is her wonderful world building and complex narrative.  While each book normally revolves around one main couple and their romance, multiple plot threads and characters weave themselves throughout the romantic relationship, acting not only as a foundation but as the perpetuator that lends the story momentum and depth. Coexisting with the daily conflicts that arise with being a human, Frost contrasts that with the rigid societal structure of the vampire world.  It makes for a fascinating and absolutely addicting read to see how the two worlds will not only collide but continue to mesh as vampires and humans interact.  The first three books are full of conflict and harrowing events for all the couples involved, so it makes  sense for the fourth book to deal with the aftermath and emotional letdown.  With two exceptions, most of this story concentrates on relationship issues, those between Carl and Egill.  And while that choice simplifies the storyline, it also carries with it a more lightly layered plot as well, lacking the depth and complexity of those books that precedes it.

After the emotional events, that is a very realistic way of dealing with the aftermath of the kidnappings and near death experiences of book 3.  I really enjoy the character of Egill, former viking warrior and formidable vampire lord.  Stolid and controlled, it is lovely to watch such a character react to love entering his life after such a long existence.  Frost does a great job with Egill’s personality, making him both realistically regal and yet vulnerable too in his tightly controlled mien.  Carl, on the other hand, felt a little too passive for me to connect with.  True, he has a poor self image and his need to avoid conflict puts himself and others in terrible situations. It is hard to connect with a character that you want to give a shake to most of the time.  Carl’s indecisiveness is just unattractive to me so it helped immensely that Frost gave us Davy, the Black-headed Spider Monkey.  Davy, along with all the other marvelous animal characters in this series, adds a touch of humor and endearment just when the story needs it the most.  By seeing Carl’s relationship with Davy, it helps connect us to a character that lacks some of the vivid personality traits of the others in the series.  I loved Davy and hope that the author will bring him back into the series somewhere down the line just as she did with Dakarai, Andreas’ lion, and all the other animals who a such a delight in the series.  Here is your first introduction to Davy:

Carl stopped outside the habitat for the spider monkeys. He released the cart’s handles to place his hands on his hips, fixing Davy with a disapproving look. “Really? Is that necessary?”

Davy quit banging the bowl on the mesh and stared up at him with intelligent black eyes.

Carl swore the monkey was trying to play innocent. A smile broke over his lips despite trying to stay stern. It was all Davy needed. The monkey scurried up the mesh to be at eye level with him, reaching through with his left hand, the one missing the index finger. Carl held a finger toward him, and Davy wrapped his others around it. The warm, soft leathery feel of Davy’s palm made him grateful he’d been able to save the monkey’s hand. When Davy and the others came to the zoo, starved and sick from the poor care they’d received in a backyard zoo—or deathtrap, as he called it—Davy’s hand was so infected from a baboon biting his finger off, he didn’t know if he’d be able to save it. But he had, and after months of diligent care, Davy and his brothers were healthy and sassy.

The interplay between man and monkey is telling.  It is humorous, affectionate, and clearly a wonderful relationship.  Even when you are fed up with Carl’s dithering about, moments like this will keep the reader invested in his character and his future.

Is this book a stand alone?  No, it must be read as part of the series and in the order they were written, otherwise key elements will be lost or misconstrued.  I love this series and absolutely recommend it.  Start at the beginning and work your way through.  Instincts shows no hint of slowing down, as new characters are introduced here as well as persons left over from the last book such as Matthew.  And the fact that all the other beloved characters will be there as well is just the icing on the cake.  If you are already invested in this series, I guarantee you will enjoy this book too.  Adapting Instincts (Instincts #4) carries the main plot thread forward while satisfying us with another romance completed.  Great job, great story, wonderful series.

Here they are in the order they were written and should be read:

Natural Instincts (Instincts #1)

Enduring Instincts (Instincts #2)

Loving Instincts (Instincts #3)

Adapting Instincts (Instincts #4)

Cover art by Winterheart Designs is evocative in design and tone.  I thought the two landscapes a nice touch.

ebook, 210 pages
Published March 14th 2013 by MLR Press
ISBN 1020130040
edition languageEnglish
urlhttp://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=SJF_ADIN
seriesI

Review: Josh of the Damned, Triple Feature #2, The Final Checkout by Andrea Speed

Rating 4.25 stars for the book

Rating: 4.5 stars for the Josh of the Damned series

Josh of the Damned The Final CheckoutJosh Caplan, night clerk of the Quik-Mart was sure he was going to be fired after he (and his friends) stopped the Quik-Mart Corporate offices from opening a store in the hell dimension world called Dev.  But when he showed up for work, everything thing seemed normal or as normal as it can be when the convenience store you work in is next to a hell portal that  opens each night to let all sorts of amazing and hellish creatures come through to visit the store.  From werewolves in the parking lot, zombies needing a meat burrito to a lovesick Yeti, Josh Caplan has seen it all come and go on a regular basis.  Of course, Josh also has a handsome, cool vampire boyfriend named Colin and a less than competent necromancer, Mr. Kwon, as a boss.
But once a CEO, especially a jerk of a CEO like Clark Ryan IV, has an idea in his head, you just know that trouble is coming and it does.  In the last of the Josh of the Damned series, Josh, Colin, Mr Kwon and Bobo the Yeti must face a triple feature of threats to the Quik-Mart as well as all humanity and win.  Among those our intrepid group faces is a giant slug, Medusa’s sisters and of course the worst of all, corporate America.  But as Josh has said before “Dude, I’ve said it like a dozen times! Think of me as the minimum wage Gandalf —you shall not pass.”  And how can you not believe him?

I love, love this series.  I mean, it has it all. Josh Caplan, a night clerk so intrepid by nature, that he moves through life with an acceptance and ease that is almost shocking if it wasn’t’ so delightful. And he has plenty to keep him company from his stoner roommate, Doug, vampire boyfriend, Colin, Necromancer boss, Mr. Kwon, superboss, Medusa, lovesick compatriot Bobo, Gary the Tooth Fairy, and so many more.  Each more fantastic, sarcastic, and outrageous than the next.  In The Final Checkout,  Andrea Speed gives us the final 3 chapters in the Josh saga which of course revolves around the Quik-Mart Corporation’s plan to open a branch in the hellworld, Dev.

When I try to come up with reasons why I have taken this series to heart, the more obvious ones are front and center.   Andrea Speed’s humor which is evident in every aspect of the series, from the names (Kevin the Vampire Slayer to Harvey Mangoat to Gary the Tooth Fairy, just hysterical) to the small details such as Colin giving Josh a tablet because Medusa needs to talk to him and Josh assumes its an iHell (Dev’s answer to the iPad) because, well who wouldn’t?  It’s topical, sarcastic, funny as, well, funny as hell and yet, still contains a lot of heart, no, let’s make that emotion because well it just might contain a real organ or two as well.

Andrea Speed’s world building is perfection too.  Not too many details to bog down the story, just enough to make Dev feel authentic and hellish when Josh, Doug and Colin enter that dimension.  I also like that creatures that appear almost cartoonish in the Quik-Mart become more viably demonic on Dev, their home world, a lovely touch.

The truth of it is that it wouldn’t matter how funny the names or how humorous the situations, without characters whose vulnerability and endearing personality traits make them easy to connect with , then this series would seem a little hollow.  But not to worry, Andrea Speed brings the same detail she uses in her world building to constructing her characters.  All of her creatures, human and otherwise, are beautifully layered beings, with just those odd quirks that make them notable both inside and out of the genre.  You don’t have to tell me that Bobo is much more than he/she/it? seems, I just know it.  And Mr. Kwon, the not quite so capable necromancer who is afraid to tell his family just how bad his skills are?  Priceless.  Medusa and her sisters take sibling rivalry to the next level, while still making it oh so identifiable.

What can I say?  The plots are hysterical, the dialog giggle inducing and the characters (except for the corporate bunch) totally adorable. Please don’t pass The Final Checkout and this series up.

The three stories here are

1. Clerk of the Living Dead.  Zombies attack the Quik-Mart and Josh and Mr. Kwon must deal with this unusual occurrence along with the entrance of Kevin the clueless Vampire Slayer.  I think that this is my favorite of the three.  Josh and Mr. Kwon’s reaction to Kevin had me in giggles plus high props for the Buffy reference.  Josh gets a new bracelet or cuff as he would prefer we call it.  We find out more about the evil plot the Corporation has in store for everyone while Josh and Colin try to take their relationship up to the next level.

2. Plaything of the Gods.  Medusa needs Josh and Colin’s help in dealing with her sisters on Dev.  For the first time, we get to know Doug, Josh’s stoner roommate who delivers pizza.  I loved Doug and his assistance in things brought that “out of body” touch to the proceedings, nothing like a stoner’s viewpoint on Hell and its inhabitants to keep things “unreal, man”.  We also learn more about Josh’s new role as a Guardian, oh and there’s a giant slug that’s blocking the way to the Quik-Mart that has to be removed too.

3. Josh vs. Destiny.  The final showdown between corporate plans for domination and Hell.  Well, you figure it had to happen sometime, why not with Josh as our hero?  The CEO and its evil assistant Harvey Mangoat, (yes, really) vs. Josh, Mr. Kwon and his crew.  Timing is still everything and it starts when Josh and Colin are trying to have a romantic weekend, their first.  The course of true love or lust never runs smooth, and Hell is here to prove it.  Bobo is back (my favorite) to help in the final checkout.  Loose ends are tied up and Josh gets a fabulous apartment to have sex in.

I am going to miss these guys (and things).  I hope Andrea Speed can be convinced to give us a look in every now and again to see how everyone is doing.

The Josh of the Damned books should be read in the order they were written in order for the characters and plots to make sense.  Here they are in order they should be read:

Pretty Monsters (Josh of the Damned, #1)

Peek-a-Boo (Josh of the Damned, #2)

Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #1 (Josh of the Damned, #3)

Night of the Dust Bunnies (Josh of the Damned, #3.5)

Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #2: The Final Checkout (Josh of the Damned #4)

Cover art by LC Chase is shear perfection.  I want a poster of it, really I do.

Andrea Speed also provides a soundtrack for The Final Checkout.  It’s amazing.  Listen to it here.

And finally, if this is your first introduction to the madness that is the Josh of the Damned series, read (courtesy of Andrea Speed) the opening pages of The Final Checkout:

Clerk of the Living Dead

There was an odd sort of comfort in just not worrying that you were about to die. Well, sort of.

Josh went home in the morning, certain he’d get a phone call about not bothering to come in for work tonight, that his last check would be mailed to him, but he was so unconcerned about it all that he just brushed his teeth and went to bed. So this was the end of his short career at the Quik-Mart—so what? There were plenty more low-income, no-hope jobs in the sea. Besides, he couldn’t have let those company guys through the portal, or reality would have imploded and everyone would have been killed. He’d picked the lesser of two evils.

When he woke up to find Doug on the couch, smoking a bowl and watching American Dad, his roommate told him there’d been no calls for him. Weird. Did it really take that long to get a message back to the home office? Or were they up to something? Since the portal didn’t open until nightfall, the home office was limited in what they could do during the day. He was sure this was some mix-up, but he got dressed and headed to the bus stop anyway.

Cindy, the early evening clerk, was finishing her shift when he showed up, and the Quik-Mart looked the same as always. She had no message for him, so he started working as normal, wondering if they were going to fire him mid-shift. Or maybe they’d be coming back with more guys this time? Not that it would help them. Bobo could probably crush the entire army, and with Colin helping, he could do it in half the time.

Colin showed up with the first lizard customer of the evening, although they weren’t together (well, as far as he could tell). Colin had a weird look on his face, one Josh figured was either worry or an upset stomach. Did vampires get indigestion?

Colin came up to the counter and pulled something out from his coat. It looked kind of like an iPad, only it was way thinner, black, and when Colin gave it to him, Josh discovered it was lighter than most paperbacks. Whoa, was there an Apple iHell now? “This some new kind of tablet?”

Colin shrugged and shook his head, sending a mixed message. “Medusa wanted to talk to you.” His expression was grave.

“So, what? This a new way to knock me out?” As Josh inspected the tablet for some hidden Taser nodes, the screen popped to life, and even though it was riddled with interference lines, he could see the brass figure of Medusa sitting behind her desk, wearing those same glasses as before, her hair rippling around her like it was caught in its own private windstorm, her lips so red it made her mouth look bloody. Her suit today looked to be an almost violent blue.

“Colin told me what an excellent job you did yesterday,” she said, her voice coming out staticky, but clear enough that the lizard in the chip aisle jumped and almost dropped his bag of Ruffles. So they all knew what she sounded like, huh? Maybe she broadcasted end-of-year messages, like the Queen or Lady Gaga.

“Um, oh. Well, he deserves credit, too. Him and Bobo. The Quik-Mart guys would have ignored me if they hadn’t been there.”

She smiled, but it seemed predatory. Her lipstick probably wasn’t helping. “Everybody received their due credit. As it is, Josh, I could use an agent who can work in your dimension regardless of whether the vortex is open or not. I’d say you passed the first test with flying colors.”

“Um, huh?” He kind of knew what she was saying, but he couldn’t quite believe it. Was this whole thing—from Medusa tasking him to stop the home office, to the stupid parking lot battle—a test?

“How would you like to work for me?”

Josh looked at Colin, but he stared back blankly, his expression giving nothing away. “Umm . . . do I have a choice?”

Her grin grew wide enough that it nearly threatened to split her face in half, and her snakes quivered like they were waving goodbye. Or laughing at him. “What do you think?”

Oh shit. Not until this moment had the job of burger flipper ever seemed so damn good.

Book Details:

ebook
Published April 29th 2013 by Riptide Publishing
ISBN139781626490062
edition languageEnglish
urlhttp://riptidepublishing.com/
series: Josh of the Damned

Review: Highland Vampire Vengeance by J. P. Bowie

Rating: 3.75 stars out of 5

Highland Vampire VengeanceScottish vampire brothers Aeden and Lyall MacKay live in a world where vampires are accepted as part of society, although they both prefer to be discreet because of the small Scottish town they live in.  Then their  small town of Aberglen, Scotland, is threatened by marauding winged creatures, police inspector Alistair MacFarlane asks the brothers for help protect the townspeople who are dying with every attack.  Alistair has another reason to ask for help, he is in love with Aeden MacKay and has been since they met.  But  Aeden isn’t sure about taking Alastair as a lover, seeing only hurt in their future.

As disaster after disaster levels the worlds governments, even the vampires find themselves under attack.  Soon the remaining vampires and humans join forces to defeat the most powerful enemy the world has ever know.  If they are not successful, it will be the end of the world as they know it,  all humans dead and the vampires enslaved to the Ancients.  Even as the battle looms ahead, Aeden and Alastair must decide to take a chance on love before it is too late.

Highland Vampire Vengeance is a thrill ride of a vampire story from J. P. Bowie.  There is much to enjoy about this story, starting with the Scottish vampire brothers themselves.  There is Aeden the more serious and reserved of the brothers who is in love with Alistair MacFarlane, the human police inspector of their small town.  While Alistair is doing everything he can to pursue his vampire, Aeden is doing everything he can to hold off the human’s advances.  Since usually it is the vampire who is the pursuer I liked Bowie’s twist on the subject.  Lyall is much more the party animal, with always a new lover in tow, never a serious relationship to his name.  Of course, Lyall too finds his mate when he goes to the rescue of a man carried off by the winged creatures that have invaded the town.  Bowie has given the brothers an interesting back history that I wish could have had its own story.  When we meet them they are living in their ancestral castle in the town of Aberglen, Scotland when the hoards invade.

Bowie does a nice job with the action sequences, especially those when they are chasing after the creatures and when they hunt them down to their place of origin.  The action is tight and the plot is developed nicely.  But I did have some quibbles with the book.  Some comes from the dialog in which a Scottish accent appears and then disappears with regularity.  The brothers, although they are several hundred year old Scots, don’t appear to have a accent but Alastair does, or at least he does part of the time.

Here is an example.  Aeden and Lyall are talking in their drawing room.

“Daydreaming, brother?” Aeden turned at the sound of the soft lilting voice behind him. “Nightdreaming, actually,” he replied, his smile still in place. “Now that you’re awake, would you care for a glass of Bordeaux?” “Thank you.” Lyall MacKay walked with a leisurely grace toward him, standing by his brother’s side as Aeden poured the wine from a decanter. Had there been a third person in the room there would have been no doubt in their mind that the two were brothers. Both were tall men, broad shouldered, dark haired and blue eyed. The only significant difference was that Aeden, being originally older by five years, had a more mature appearance than Lyall, who had retained his boyish features, despite the years that had passed. Lyall raised his glass briefly then drained it in one long swallow. “Very nice,” he said, licking his full lower lip. “I’ll have another.”

Speaking of which…” Lyall paused to sip his wine more slowly this time. “Did you watch the news last night?” “No, I try to avoid that lurid rubbish as much as I can. Why? Was there something of interest I should know about?” “Mmm… The local news reported that a young couple was found dead in a field by the farmer…”

Definitely not a conversation full of Scottish overtones.  Then there is Alastair.  This is how he sounds, some of the time:

“He’s having the residue analyzed and should have something for me tomorrow,” Alistair added. “Any ideas so far?” Aeden filled him in about the article he’d read. Alistair nodded. “We had a report of those attacks from Scotland Yard. Apparently, there have been sporadic similar incidents in London and Manchester. The police are trying to keep it low profile right now, not wanting to cause a panic, but from what I understand some reporter has an eyewitness account he’s dying to publish.

Fine, except that he will then apparently remembers he is Scottish and starts sounds like this:

 “This is the worst case I’ve ever been faced with, Aeden. I just hope I’m up to solving it and making sure it doesna’ happen again.”

or this

 “I canna’ deny that part of it is… Och, Aeden, of course I will be afraid.”

And then he is back sounding like a regular non specific British Isle constable again.  There is just an odd lack of continuity as far as the dialog goes.  As all  the characters are Scottish, it would have been better to have gone in one direction or the other but not both, especially with the same character.

Another thing that stood out was some odd word usage in the story.  At one point  during a meeting it is said:

“I like the Inspector’s idea of alienating one or two then following them,” Dylan said.

Which to me is an odd use for the word alienating. Isolating certainly, separating them fine, but alienating? Not really.  Another one that stood out for me was the use of lumbering  as in:

“Do you know what you’re lumbering yourself with?”

I have always heard it used in a far different fashion, perhaps as in “you great lumbering git”.  And in fact if you look it up in the dictionary, this is what you will find:

To move in a slow, heavy, awkward way : a truck filled his mirror and lumbered past | [as adj. ] ( lumbering) Bob was the big, lumbering, gentle sort | figurative a lumbering bureaucracy.

So I am not sure how this usage found its way into the story, all I know is that it stopped my reading when I smacked into that sentence.  So between a elusive language format, one case of instant love,  and odd words popping up here and there, my concentration on the story was as flighty as a vampire on the wind.  There were also some problems with a group called the Druids, a race employed by the Ancients.  The guidelines upon which this group operated on had their own moments of illogic where first they have been aligned with the Ancients for a long time, then act as though they have just been brought into the project.  Sigh.

But underneath the issues I have with the story, is a fast paced plot, lively characters and a great dramatic ending that I loved.  The issues I had with the story might be ones that bother you not at all.  If so, you will find this a 4 star story but for me, it just comes shy of that rating.  Still if vampires are your thing or you are a fan of J. P. Bowie, pick this one up.  I mean really, that is one great title, Highland Vampire Vengeance, and one great  cover. You have vampires, world wide destruction, doomsday machines and a villain called The Ancient.  It almost cries out for its own SyFy movie of the week! Will someone let them know?

Cover art by Deana Jamroz.  I love it, campy and dramatic, perfect for the title.

Review: Sensei by Karenna Colcroft

Rating: 3 stars

Sensei coverIsao Nakamura is a five hundred years old vampire.  He operates a dojo in a neutral territory surrounded by a vampire clan he is at odds with. Isao feeds only on the criminals he comes into contact with and saved many a innocent from the attacks of the vampires around him.  Now his actions threaten the fragile truce he has lived under and all those he has come to care about, including his new adult student James.  James is unaware that his Sensei that he has come to love is a vampire.  Isao returns James’ affections, a perilous idea at best.  Can the Sensei protect James and his dojo or will he lose everything in a final battle?

This is a short story of 73 pages and unfortunately Sensei reads as though we are given just the first several chapters of a much longer book.  The characters are interesting and in Isao Nakamura’s case, we are given to understand that he was once a ninja and that all the ninjas were turned to increase their warrior skills.  But that is our only glimpse of an intriguing backstory and except for one more throwaway sentence, it is forgotten.  Colcroft gives us a vampire clan and again just a marginal understanding of the universe in which they exist.  The small details the author does give us definitely piques the interest for more of her universe making and vampire history but since an overall picture is lacking, it brings the story up short literally.

James is a human without layers or history and that also brings down the interest in the Isao/James union.  Another vampire and former lover of Isao keeps asking the Sensei why James?  What’s so special about him?  But the author never gives him or us a good answer to that question. Again the short length of the story has also hurt her characterizations.

This is a quick read and ends in a HFN with no expectations of a HEA, at least as far as I can tell,  Perhaps the author has a sequel planned, but to bring me back to the table, she will have to bring more history, a more throughly realized universe and characters to the story before I visit here again.

Cover Art by Deana Jamroz is ok.  The design is just ok, but could have been so much better.